Wednesday, December 02, 2009
it's december... emphasis on the *brrr* lol sorry, i'm a dork. so yea, today was my day off. had another breast exam today. i tried to cancel it yesterday, because i felt like it was a waste of my time. why would i drive down to the doctor and pay a co-pay for her to do ANOTHER breast exam, when it's the same time of the month as it was last month, and her doing the exam isn't going to explain why i'm in pain, and certainly isn't going to take the pain away... but she called me and said that she didn't want to cancel my appointment, that she wanted to see me, to do the exam. so, as angry and frustrated as i was, i went down there today. when i got into the office, the FIRST thing the receptionist asked me for was my co-pay, which reallyyy ticked me off.. if you could have seen the way i sat in the waiting room, i was steaming. lol. my appt. was at 11:30 and i wasn't seen until 12:00. sat there waiting, getting more and more angry. so angry that i felt like crying. it just felt like a waste of my time and money, and i'm sick of being run around in circles. she did a thorough exam on both my breasts, and i told her i've been feeling more pain in my left breast lately, and the right one still hurts daily. she found that i'm actually in pain in the same exact spot on BOTH breasts, which she said is better than having pain in just one breast because it's less likely to be cancer. i was on Nuvaring for about 2 years, and she had me switch back to the pill this past sunday, so i'm 4 days into my pack. i'm going to wait 2 months and see if the breast pain gets any worse or if the pain and the lump goes away... if it gets worse, i'll have to go to a breast specialist. maybe it's just a hormonal thing, who knows, but i've been in pain for about 3 months now, so we'll see. so yeaaaa... that's me. dealing with that and the holiday season being upon us... trying to stay focused and lose 5-10 lbs before my birthday (jan 4th). it's been rough lately.. mind hasn't been in it. trying to set small and large goals... and nail em! :) anyway, hope all of you are working hard and staying strong!
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
i called my doctor yesterday to find out the results of my breast ultrasound from last wednesday, and she said that they came back normal; no cysts, no abnormalities. but... she's not sure if she believes it, so she scheduled another appt for 12/2, and she said if it's still unclear as to what's going on, then i'll have to have a mammogram. so at this point, i'm glad that she's being really attentive and an advocate for me, and not just saying "well the test came back fine..." i do feel like something is going on because it's not normal for your breast to hurt all day... every day. you should be able to hug your boyfriend without wincing. so yea, at this point i'm not trying to think about anything at all. just doing my thing, staying focused on work and my health, and i'll go to that appt when it's time. i'm not in the best of moods today, hoping to turn that around before i get into work in a few hours. i did so much OT last week, but had a really fun weekend (which was much needed). my boyfriend and friends have been really amazing lately. i love them so much. anywayyy, i better start getting ready for work. hope you guys are all doing well!
Friday, November 06, 2009
and yesterday was an awful one. i had my yearly exam yesterday, scheduled for 9 because i have to be at work at 11:30, and i figured she'd have me out of the office by 10:15, 10:30 at the latest. i had my lunch packed at home, to pick up on my way to work from the doctor's office, and i hadn't ate any breakfast, because i thought i'd have to time to eat before having to go to work. nope. she didn't come into the office until 9:30, and hadn't even done my exam by 10:25. at that point i stated that i wasn't trying to rush her, but that i had to leave by 10:35... they had me out of the office at 10:45 which meant i now had no time to stop at home and clean myself up, grab my lunch or eat some breakfast. i had to FLY to work. no joke, i was driving like a jerk, and i hate driving like that. stress levels were soaring. to top it all off, i had told her that for the last several months i've had some pain in my right breast. i had noticed a lump there last year and she brushed me off. when she touched it this year, she's like, yea something's not right there.... the whole time she kept touching it and it hurt so bad. she said i need to go for an ultrasound next week, so that's what i'm doing next wednesday. i'm trying not to think about it too much. it'll prolly be fine. but my breast hurting all day is a constant reminder. so.. yea.. yesterday sucked. i cried my eyes out on my way home, walked into the house with mascara all over my face at 8:45pm, ate chicken noodle soup, watch The Office, and went to bed. so today is a new day. i'm going to put yesterday out of my mind. gonna buck down and do some overtime today, so i'm working 11:30 to 10, be home by 11pm, go to bed so i can wake up at 5:30 tomorrow, work 8-4:30, and work sunday which is usually my day off from 9:30-5, work 9-8 on monday, and 11:30-8 on tuesday, and then have next wednesday off. ahhh...LOL. grindin!!! hope all of you have a great weekend!
Wednesday, November 04, 2009
oh wow... so wednesday, november 4th. unbelievable how time just keeps flying by. 2 months from today i will turn 26. crazy. LOL. so i'm back at the gym, eating is on point, and my mindset is positive. i took a couple weeks and didn't do any overtime at work, but now, i'm realizing that i need to do some more. i wish that i didn't have to. i'm trying to be thankful that they're even offering overtime at my work, but i just wish i didn't NEED the money right now. hate that feeling. stresses me out. but i'm just trying to tell myself that i can do this... just to keep myself balanced and keep myself in check.. not push myself like crazy. i want to do some overtime, make some money, and keep up my routine with the gym and my nutrition. it's really, really important to me to lose 10 lbs. before my birthday (january 4th) and to be back at 140 or 143 by february. i know i can do it. i just have to be consistent and stay balanced/focused. it's crazy to think that NEXT sunday we'll be half way through this month already... so much going on. feels like there's not enough time in a day! anyway, i just wanted to get a quick blog in and say hello to all of you. hope the month has started off great for you! i've put myself on a sugar detox this week where the only "sweets" i'm allowing myself is 3 pieces of dark chocolate a day (it comes out to 90 calories and i don't feel guilty, lol) i've also stopped consuming milk and icecream. i've found that it's been having an effect on my skin. i've noticed from my food journal that i have acne flare-ups when i consume milk. crazy how you can figure things out when you keep a food journal! :) alright, i better get goin now!
Sunday, September 27, 2009
so i realized that with all the OT i've been working that i haven't blogged in a while, so here we are!
it's been about a week and a half since i had a good workout. i've felt a cold and my period coming and so with all the hours i've been working, i opted to rest up so that i didn't break myself! so this should be the last week of me pulling crazy hours, and then i'll be back to my regular schedule... on my daily grind. the good thing is that i have been hopping on the scale and i have maintained my loss, so i'm glad about that. i've really been making sure i watch what i eat because i know that with me taking time away from the gym right now i have to pay extra attention to what i'm consuming. the weight comes back way too easy and i'm not trying to go backwards again. LOL. anyway, i'm wicked tired, and i have a really long day ahead of me tomorrow. i have an appt. at the tire shop tomorrow at 8 and it's about 25 min from where i live, and then i have to work 11:30 to 10, and by the time i get home from work it'll be 11pm, so yea... not much sleep or time for me this week. wednesday is supposed to be my day off but i'm putting in 6 hours of OT. my tire blew out while i was on my lunch break yesterday... that was scary and annoying. thank God i bought AAA this year!!!! i woulda been screwed if i didn't have it. okay okay, i really need to get to bed.. now i'm just rambling to you guys! lol hope all of you are doing well and staying healthy!
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