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Tuesday 8-6-2013 Assortment

Tuesday, August 06, 2013

Today is National Root Beer Day!
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Why did the girl get a bad grade in her cooking class?

Her dog ate her homework.
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What 1967 discovery did astronomers half-jokingly refer to as Little Green Men?

Pulsars—because the rapidly spinning neutron (collapsed) stars emitted pulsating radio signals at regular intervals, which suggested the existence of intelligent extraterrestrial life.
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Two unaired pilots

THE MYSTERIOUS TWO (1979)
A man must stop two popular televangelists … because they’re actually evil aliens who are brainwashing humanity in order to take over the planet.

JUDGE DEE (1974)
A judge wanders his rural district helping people and resolving disputes. The twist: Judge Dee is set in 7th-century China.
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More than 350 Dodge Chargers were used to play the “General Lee” on The Dukes of Hazzard.

  
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PDSLIM 8/6/2013 8:41AM

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GAYLE-G-63 8/6/2013 8:22AM

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LANNIEMANUEL 8/6/2013 7:30AM

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ELRIDDICK 8/6/2013 6:57AM

  Thanks for sharing

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Monday 8-5-2013 Assortment

Monday, August 05, 2013

A tired-looking old man was eating in a truck stop when three Hell’s Angels bikers strolled in. Looking for trouble, the first biker walked up, pushed his cigarette into the old man’s pie, and then took a seat at the counter. The second Hell’s Angel walked up to the old man, spat into his coffee, and took a seat at the counter. The third walked up to the old man, turned over his plate, and took a seat at the counter. Without a word of protest, the old man got up and quietly left the diner. One of the bikers said to the waitress, “Well, he isn’t much of a man, is he? Didn’t even defend himself!”
The waitress replied, “He’s not much of a truck driver, either. He just backed his big rig over three motorcycles.”

(Ah, sweet revenge!)
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What government building in Washington, D.C., houses a slice of Tom Thumb’s wedding cake?

The Library of Congress. Thumb married fellow P. T. Barnum midget Lavinia Warren in 1863. The cake slice, which includes a few pieces of shriveled fruit, was found in a collection of theatrical papers acquired by the library.
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Rosie the Robot (The Jetsons)

Voiced by Jean Vander Pyl (who also voiced Wilma Flintstone), the Jetsons’ robot maid was based on Shirley Booth’s performance of a wisecracking maid on the 1960s sitcom Hazel. Hazel called her boss “Mr. B,” so Rosie called George Jetson “Mr. J.”
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In 2001, while playing a spy on Alias, Jennifer Garner made a recruitment video for the CIA.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LANNIEMANUEL 8/6/2013 7:28AM

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BLITZEN40 8/5/2013 10:44PM

    Love the truck driver joke! Thanks for the smiles. emoticon

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FITNESSGONNABE 8/5/2013 10:14PM

    Extra funny today - thanks!


emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 8/5/2013 10:14:45 PM

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PDSLIM 8/5/2013 2:58PM

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GAYLE-G-63 8/5/2013 10:21AM

    Great facts; thanks for sharing. =)

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SUNSETBREEZE05 8/5/2013 10:19AM

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TWEETYKC00 8/5/2013 9:56AM

    cool, thanks

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CANADIANFROG09 8/5/2013 6:40AM

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Sunday 8-4-2013 Assortment

Sunday, August 04, 2013

What did one porcupine say to the other?

Quit needling me.
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What are cirrus clouds—the thin, wispy clouds high in the sky—composed of?

Ice crystals
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The wind won’t make it easier, but it will make it less difficult.
(Huh?)

-golf commentator Bernard Gallacher
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PDSLIM 8/4/2013 1:58PM

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WILDKAT781 8/4/2013 11:37AM

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BLITZEN40 8/4/2013 10:41AM

    Cute porcupine joke! Thanks for sharing. emoticon

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TWEETYKC00 8/4/2013 9:00AM

    good ones!

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LANNIEMANUEL 8/4/2013 8:25AM

    emoticon have a good day

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Saturday 8-3-2013 Assortment

Saturday, August 03, 2013

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Alfie.
Alfie who?
Alfie much better if I can come in out of the rain!
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What is a silent disco?

A disco at a private party or event where the music is transmitted through wireless headphones worn by those who are dancing or interested in tuning in, and is not heard by others in attendance.

(I've never heard of this.)
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The hardest job in show biz…

… was being Murphy Brown’s secretary. During the comedy’s 1988–98 run, Murphy went through 93 secretaries, including a crash-test dummy, John F. Kennedy Jr., and even Kramer from Seinfeld. In one episode, she did get a great secretary, but it was Carol from The Bob Newhart Show—and Bob swooped in and stole Carol back. In a bit of karma, when Murphy was imprisoned for refusing to name a source, she was given a job as the warden’s secretary. She reportedly performed horribly.

(That was one of the best running gags ever on television, in my opinion!)
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Q: On The Brady Bunch, what was Carol’s maiden name?
A: Tyler.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LANNIEMANUEL 8/4/2013 8:24AM

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PDSLIM 8/3/2013 6:32PM

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TWEETYKC00 8/3/2013 1:19PM

    cool, thanks. I do miss Murphy Brown!

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GAYLE-G-63 8/3/2013 10:22AM

    I remember Murphy's changing secretaries. It was a great gag to see who would be next.

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GLUECIPHER 8/3/2013 8:11AM

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Friday 8-2-2013 Assortment

Friday, August 02, 2013

I am so excited! I have finally given my notice at my job and will be retired as of August 31, 2013! I have wanted to do this for 5 years now and finally decided now was the time! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
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A man walked to the top of a mountain and yelled up to God, “God, what’s a million years to you?”
God said, “A minute.”
Then the man asked, “Well, what’s a million dollars to you?”
God said, “A penny.”
The man asked, “God, can I have a penny?”
And God said, “Sure, in a minute.”
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What is unique about the lone dissenter in The Holdout, Norman Rockwell’s famous painting of frustrated jurors during deliberations?

The dissenter is the only woman on the panel. The painting appeared on the cover of the Saturday Evening Post on February 14, 1959.
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A SHOW IS BORN

Everybody Loves Raymond (1996–2005)

After Ray Romano performed his stand-up routine on The Late Show with David Letterman in 1995, Letterman offered Romano a sitcom deal. The comic was teamed up with TV writer Phil Rosenthal to put something together that they could pitch to CBS. Rosenthal asked Romano to tell him about his life. Romano said he lived in Queens with his kids, and that his parents lived close by. “They live with my older brother, who’s a police sergeant, and he’s kind of jealous of me. One day he saw my Cable Ace Award for stand-up and he goes, ‘It never ends for Raymond. Everrrybody loves Raymond!’” With that, Ray Barone was born. Romano didn’t like the title, fearing no one would get the joke. He was wrong—at its peak, Everybody Loves Raymond averaged 19 million viewers per episode, placing it among the highest-rated sitcoms of all time.
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Average number of episodes per season for a 1955 sitcom: 39. For a 2013 sitcom: 22.m

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FISHGUT3 8/2/2013 6:45PM

    Retirement is great! I am more busy now then the placed I worked for (all 31 years).

Enjoy

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CAT609 8/2/2013 1:52PM

    Awesome!! Congratulations!! emoticon

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TWEETYKC00 8/2/2013 12:50PM

    thanks

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GAYLE-G-63 8/2/2013 10:05AM

    emoticon on your upcoming retirement!!! =)

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LANNIEMANUEL 8/2/2013 7:11AM

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