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Saturday 7-13-2013 Assortment

Saturday, July 13, 2013

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Wire.
Wire who?
Wire you being so stubborn?
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UNIVESITY STUDENTS:
THEY CAN’T WRITE,
SPELL OR PRESENT
AN ARGUMENT


Actual headline in The Independent (UK)
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Why did witches in Romania throw poisonous mandrake into the Danube River in January 2011?

To cast spells on their president and government for enacting a law requiring them to pay a 16 percent income tax—from which they previously had been exempt.
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Five news crawl goofs

1. Breaking News: Fire destroyed by home (Fox 5)

2. Bernanke on the Housing Market: BLAH blah BLAH blah BLAH blah BLAH blah BLAH blah (CNN)

3. dsfgdfgfsfgdf sdfgsdfgsdfgsdfg (Fox News)

4. Breaking News: Many words should fit on this sentence bar. Do not try to type in a paragraph to tell story (KDKA 2)

5. Slow down & Drink & Drive (KARE 11 News)
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In 1966, Batman was honored by the National Safety Council for promoting seat belt use.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JIMDAB 7/14/2013 6:56AM

    emoticon

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NANCYRUBIO 7/13/2013 11:47PM

    Glad I am not the only one making mistakes~~~~~

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TWEETYKC00 7/13/2013 12:49PM

    Major OMG moments!

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LANNIEMANUEL 7/13/2013 10:01AM

    and now my morning is complete. thanks for another great post

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Friday 7-12-2013 Assortment

Friday, July 12, 2013

A police officer pulled over a man he suspected of driving drunk. He asked the driver to blow into a Breathalyzer to test his alcohol level, but the man refused, claiming he had asthma and blowing into the tube would cause him to have an attack.
“Fine,” said the cop, “come down to the station and I’ll give you a urine test.”
Again the man said no, saying he had diabetes and urinating would cause his blood sugar to fall to a dangerous level.
“Okay,” the cop said, “why don’t you get out of the car and walk down the white line for me?”
“I’m sorry,” the man said, “but I can’t do that, either.”
“Why not?” the cop asked, exasperated.
“Oh, because I’m drunk,” answered the driver.
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How many games were played in the longest match in professional tennis history, the 11-hour, 5-minute 2010 Wimbledon epic between John Isner and Nicolas Mahut?

An incredible 183 games—138 of which were in the decisive fifth set, which Isner won 70–68 after 8 hours and 11 minutes.

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TV DINNERS

On a 2009 episode of the Nickelodeon kids’ sitcom iCarly, Spencer (Jerry Trainor) had no idea what to make for dinner for his family. So he invented spaghetti tacos, hard taco shells filled with noodles and marinara sauce. After that episode aired, the food became a cultural phenomenon both in the world of the show (the main characters make a popular Internet show) and in real life. In one episode, characters oversee a spaghetti-taco-making contest on a cable show, and in the real world, spaghetti tacos were the most-requested food item at American school cafeterias in 2010. “Spaghetti tacos make it possible to eat spaghetti in your car,” Syracuse University pop-culture professor Robert Thompson told The New York Times. “It’s a very important technological development.”
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The winning acts on The Gong Show received $712.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NANCYRUBIO 7/12/2013 11:32PM

    emoticon

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JIMDAB 7/12/2013 1:19PM

    mmm..
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PDSLIM 7/12/2013 10:39AM

    emoticon

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DEBI160NOW 7/12/2013 9:58AM

    Great post emoticon

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BLUENOSE63 7/12/2013 7:18AM

  Nice cheery post.....great way to start my day

Thanks and have a good one!

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CANADIANFROG09 7/12/2013 7:17AM

    emoticon emoticon

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LANNIEMANUEL 7/12/2013 7:12AM

    thanks for the great post.

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NOTANINJA 7/12/2013 7:10AM

    emoticon Thanks, I needed that.

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Thursday 7-11-2013 Assortment

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Why did the mummy go on vacation?

He needed to unwind.

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____________________
With the quality of the teams in this tournament, it’s hard to imagine that somebody won’t beat somebody else at some state.

sportscaster Dennis Hickey
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When it comes to fish, what is unique about the Anableps anableps—other than its name?

The answer is in its more commonly used name, the four-eyed fish. Anableps anableps actually has only two eyes, but the pupils of both are divided horizontally so that the fish, when swimming along the water’s surface, can search below for food while simultaneously watching above for predators.

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“And that’s the way it is.”

CBS Evening News anchor Walter Cronkite never intended for this sign-off to become his signature line repeated nightly for decades. When he began anchoring the news in 1962, he’d planned to end each broadcast with a human interest story, followed by a brief off-the-cuff commentary or final thought. But producers told him there wouldn’t be enough time to do all that, so he quickly came up with “And that’s the way it is.” Years later, he still thought it sounded “too authoritative.”
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In its 9-year run. The Facts of Life received only one Emmy nomination: for hairstyling. (It lost.)

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NANCYRUBIO 7/12/2013 7:01AM

   







>






R>




Such an informative blog read by someone who is brain dead at the moment!












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JIMDAB 7/12/2013 1:24AM

    unwind, Hahahahahahaha!
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ALEXSGIRL1 7/11/2013 9:32PM

    love this thank you

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FITNESSGONNABE 7/11/2013 1:41PM

    Love the mummy joke. I need to be a mummy today. Thanks for the laugh, have a great day!

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PDSLIM 7/11/2013 1:18PM

    emoticon

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TWEETYKC00 7/11/2013 9:57AM

    cools, thanks

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LANNIEMANUEL 7/11/2013 7:38AM

    love it. have a great day

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BLUENOSE63 7/11/2013 7:35AM

  Your mummy joke was a big hit with my son....I am sure it will be repeated for a couple of days (he is 10)

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Wednesday 7-10-2013 Assortment

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Andrea handed her daughter Molly a dollar. The little girl went outside and returned ten minutes later without the dollar. Wondering where the money went, Andrea asked, “Where is the dollar I gave you, dear?”
“I gave it to an old lady,” Molly said.
“Oh, that is so sweet,” said her mom. “I’m so proud of you. Tomorrow I’ll give you two dollars.”
The next day, as promised, Andrea gave Molly two dollars. Molly went outside again and came back in without the bills.
“What did you do with the money?” asked her proud mom.
“Oh, today I saw the same old lady,” began Molly, “and gave her the two dollars so she could buy me a bigger ice cream.”
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Over the past 20 years, the saxophone has been the instrument that girls most want to play in school bands. Why? According to The New York Times, it’s because Lisa Simpson plays it on The Simpsons. The Times cited band teachers who say they have way too many female sax players. But Tim Timmons, a music dean at the University of Missouri, theorized that the sax boom may have been caused by other influences—like when Bill Clinton performed “Heartbreak Hotel” on the saxophone on a 1992 episode of The Arsenio Hall Show.
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Monkees star Davy Jones was drafted by the army, but fasted for three weeks to fail the physical.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ENUFF81020 7/10/2013 7:01PM

    Both of our daughters played "other instruments" in the school band but both were recruited to play the sax in jazz band. One of my daughters clearly said that it was the band teacher who influenced her. The other sarcastically said it was because of Bill Clinton.
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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BLITZEN40 7/10/2013 12:28PM

    Cute ice cream joke! As for the sax, I'd have thought guys might want to play it after Kenny G's popularity, but apparently not. As for Davy, what a clever little monkey he was! emoticon

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SUNSETBREEZE05 7/10/2013 11:38AM

    Wow! I had such a crush on Davy Jones....

Comment edited on: 7/10/2013 11:38:58 AM

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PDSLIM 7/10/2013 11:03AM

    emoticon

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TWEETYKC00 7/10/2013 9:15AM

    thanks.

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JIMDAB 7/10/2013 8:19AM

    emoticon

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CANADIANFROG09 7/10/2013 7:28AM

    emoticon emoticon

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ROX525 7/10/2013 7:20AM

    Thank you for the blog

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KARENKANDO 7/10/2013 7:07AM

    Cleaver and informative. Doesn't get better than that! Thanks for helping start my day on the "right" foot. emoticon

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LANNIEMANUEL 7/10/2013 6:50AM

    very intresting. have a good day


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DMEYER4 7/10/2013 6:48AM

  thanks for sharing

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Tuesday 7-9-2013 Assortment

Tuesday, July 09, 2013

What triggered the first recorded student protest in U.S. history?

Sour butter served in Harvard University’s dining rooms in 1766. The protest, known as the Great Butter Rebellion, resulted in the suspension of half the student body and lasted a month. Years later, the protest leader, student Asa Dunbar, would be the grandfather of Henry David Thoreau.
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Butt-Head (Beavis and Butt-Head)

When animator Mike Judge was in college, he lived next door to a 12-year-old kid who called himself Iron-Butt. Judge recalls, “Supposedly, you could kick him in the butt as hard as you wanted, and it wouldn’t hurt him.” A troublemaker, Iron-Butt used to sneak into Judge’s house and once burned down a tree. He became the inspiration for Butt-Head of Beavis and Butt-Head.
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Largest plasma TV commercially available (so far): A 103-inch screen from Panasonic. Cost: $70,000.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ENUFF81020 7/10/2013 7:03PM

    We can't always choose our neighbors!!

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JIMDAB 7/9/2013 2:53PM

    emoticon emoticon

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PDSLIM 7/9/2013 10:34AM

    emoticon

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TWEETYKC00 7/9/2013 8:08AM

    Thanks.

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LANNIEMANUEL 7/9/2013 7:27AM

    thanks for sharing. and good morning

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ROX525 7/9/2013 7:19AM

    Thank you.

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DMEYER4 7/9/2013 6:46AM

  thanks for sharing

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