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Friday Assortment

Friday, May 31, 2013

Leah was having a birthday party for her four-year-old son, Jackson. The time came to open presents, and he opened the one from his grandma first. It was a water gun, and Jackson leapt up and down with excitement. He rushed to the nearest sink to fill it up.
But Leah wasn’t too happy. She turned to her mother and said, “I’m surprised at you, Mom. Don’t you remember how we used to drive you crazy with those water guns when we were little?”
Her mom smiled and then said, “I remember. Of course I remember.”

(Payback is a b@#$h!)
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CENTURY 21
AGENT OF THE
DICK


sign outside a Century 21 office (it was supposed to say “Agent of the Month, Dick . . .”)
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What was the name of Calvin’s private eye alter ego in the Calvin and Hobbes comic strip?

Tracer Bullet.
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TUBE TALK

Words of wisdom

“As we prize peace and quiet above victory, there is a simple and preferred method to deal with force—we run away.”
—Teacher, Kung Fu

Farrah: A swordsman does not fear death if he dies with honor.
The Doctor: Then he’s an idiot.
—Doctor Who

Barney: Lesson one. Lose the goatee. It doesn’t go with your suit.
Ted: I’m not wearing a suit.
Barney: Lesson two. Get a suit. Suits are cool.
—How I Met Your Mother
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When John Lithgow won an Emmy for Showtime’s Dexter, he accidentally thanked HBO.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

YMWONG22 6/13/2013 11:34AM

  Nice payback joke.
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JIMDAB 5/31/2013 5:16PM

    emoticon

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TWEETYKC00 5/31/2013 8:34AM

    lol

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NANCYRUBIO 5/31/2013 8:05AM

    Bless that mother! I am sure there are a lot of mothers who understand how she felt.
John Lithgow, shame on you.

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DMEYER4 5/31/2013 7:06AM

  thank you for sharing. Love it. Have a Happy Friday and a great weekend

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LANNIEMANUEL 5/31/2013 7:03AM

    i love your post. cheers up my mornings. emoticon

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Thursday Assortment

Thursday, May 30, 2013

Why did the cookie go see the doctor?

He was feeling crummy.

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What heavyweight boxing champion and Oscar-winning actor are buried in adjacent graves in Arlington National Cemetery in Arlington, Virginia?

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Boxing great Joe Louis, who served in the Army, and tough-guy actor Lee Marvin, who served in the Marine Corps, both during World War II.
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AROUND THE WORLD

FOREIGN SHOW: India’s Yeh Rishta Kya Kehlata Hai

ENGLISH TRANSLATION: What Is This Relationship Called?

DETAILS: This Indian soap opera follows the different experiences of two modern young Indian women, one hoping to marry for love, the other discovering the love of her life within her traditional arranged marriage. In every episode, the independent woman experiences heartbreak while the woman in the arranged marriage lives happily.
(Strong propaganda, huh?)
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Most expensive commercial: $20 million for a 2004 Chanel ad starring Nicole Kidman.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

YMWONG22 6/13/2013 11:29AM

  Interesting. emoticon emoticon

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NANCYRUBIO 5/30/2013 11:26PM

    Interesting tidbits.

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JIMDAB 5/30/2013 10:20AM

    emoticon

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TWEETYKC00 5/30/2013 9:52AM

    thanks

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OCTOBERBORN 5/30/2013 7:43AM

    Cool! Thanks for sharing!

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DARJR50 5/30/2013 6:55AM

  interesting stuff

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Wednesday Assortment

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Three ministers were having lunch, discussing their churches. One said, “I’ve been having so much trouble with bats this summer. They get into the church and cause so much trouble. I’ve tried everything, but I can’t scare them away.”
“Yes, I’ve had the same problem,” said a second minister. “I’ve got hundreds in the sanctuary, and I can’t get them to leave for anything.”
The third minister spoke up: “Well, I had bats, too, but then I baptized all of them and made them members of the church. I haven’t seen one come back since then!”
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In theatrical slang, what is “skin money”?

Extra pay given to performers when nudity is required onstage.
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COMMERCIAL BREAK

Cigarette-company product placement from early TV

* Camel sponsored the 1949–56 police drama Man Against Crime. The show was forbidden from showing bad guys smoking. The cool and collected series star Ralph Bellamy, however, was often seen smoking Camels.

* Leo G. Carroll and Lee Patrick, stars of the sitcom Topper, were required to smoke Camels on the show, and Carroll concluded each show by exclaiming, “They have flavor the way I like flavor!”

* The Chesterfield Supper Club featured host Perry Como hawking Chesterfields between songs, and during them, too—he opened each show with a song called “Smoke Dreams.”
(My, how times have changed...and for the better, in my opinion!)
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Animated, female, and African-American remakes of The Odd Couple were all produced.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

YMWONG22 6/12/2013 9:51AM

  Hope more and more people will choose not to smoke, not only for themselves, but also for their family, loved ones, friends and people around them.
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JIMDAB 5/30/2013 12:57AM

    emoticon

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NANCYRUBIO 5/29/2013 9:48AM

    Things have change but so have our indiviual rights. I know a lot of people won't agree, but I firmly believe this.

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CELEST 5/29/2013 7:03AM

    Things really have changed...now cigarettes have to be packaged with pictures of damaged lungs and also in dull colors....good thing. It always sickly fascinates me how pregnant woman buy packets with SMOKING IS DAMAGING TO PREGNANT WOMEN.....seems they cant read well???
Such an expensive, health damaging, bad habit....much like over eating. Got to get it ALL under control.

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RIDLEYRIDER 5/29/2013 6:31AM

  I once saw a presentation by a former "Winston Man", who traveled to schools to talk about what happened to him from smoking. Amazing how far we've come, really...

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Tuesday Assortment

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Son: Mom, can I have a car for graduation?
Mother: Only if you get a haircut first.
Son: But didn’t Abraham, Moses, and Jesus have long hair?
Mother: Yes, and they walked everywhere they went.
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TV journalist Katie Couric uses the mnemonic “I’m a dinner jacket” to remember how to pronounce the last name of what Middle Eastern leader?

Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. According to the Voice of America, the correct pronunciation of his name is ahh-mah-dee-nee-ZHAHD.
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ISLE CHATTER

There’s a bizarre theory among fans of Gilligan’s Island: that the island represents hell, and the seven castaways are trapped there because each personifies one of the seven deadly sins. Ginger represents lust because she’s a foxy movie star. Mary Ann is envy because she’s jealous of Ginger’s beauty. The Professor, with his superior intellect, is pride. Mr. Howell, the millionaire, represents greed. Mrs. Howell represents sloth because she’s a work-averse millionaire’s wife. The Skipper is gluttony and anger, a fat guy who always wants more to eat and is always getting mad at Gilligan. Gilligan himself? According to the theory, he represents Satan. (It’s his island, after all.) The proof: He always bungles their plans for escape … because there is no escape from hell. And he always wears red.
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As a child, Hogan’s Heroes actor Robert Clary (LeBeau) survived a Nazi concentration camp.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

YMWONG22 6/11/2013 9:29AM

  I like the car joke and interesting trivia facts.
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PDSLIM 5/28/2013 10:50AM

    emoticon

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TWEETYKC00 5/28/2013 10:46AM

    thanks.

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NANCYRUBIO 5/28/2013 10:17AM

    Robert Clary --a Nazi camp survivor? Interesting~~~

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GLUECIPHER 5/28/2013 10:14AM

    emoticon

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Memorial Day Assortment

Monday, May 27, 2013

A very shy young man walked into a swanky hotel lounge and saw a beautiful woman sitting alone at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage, he went over and asked her timidly, “Would you mind if I chatted with you for a little while?”
She responded by yelling at the top of her lungs, “NO! I won’t sleep with you tonight!” Everyone at the bar stared at them. Naturally, the young man was completely mortified and slunk back to his table.
After a few minutes the woman walked over to him, smiled, and said, “I’m sorry I embarrassed you, but I’m a graduate student in psychology, and I’m studying how people respond to embarrassing situations.”
The man paused for a second and then yelled at the top of his lungs, “What do you mean, $200?!”
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ON WHY LIBRARIANS NEED XANAX

• Do you have any Shakespeare here? In English, not in that language he wrote in.

• I need a photograph of Jesus, I need to dress him for a play.

• Can you tell me why so many famous Civil War battles were fought on National Park sites?

actual questions asked of librarians
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What Memorial Day tradition started with the poem “We Shall Keep the Faith,” written in 1918 by Moina Michael?

Wearing a red poppy in memory of the nation’s war dead. Michael’s poem, which was inspired by the John McCrae poem “In Flanders Field,” includes the lines: “We cherish too, the poppy red/That grows on fields where valor led,/It seems to signal to the skies/That blood of heroes never dies.”
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TV POTPOURRI

Lucille Ball considered the letters “ar” to be lucky, probably because her career skyrocketed after she married Desi Arnaz. All of her TV character names included those letters: Lucy Ricardo (I Love Lucy), Lucy Carmichael (The Lucy Show), Lucy Carter (Here’s Lucy), and Lucy Barker (Life with Lucy).
(Interesting - I didn't know this)
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Neil Simon, Mel Brooks, and Woody Allen all wrote for Sid Caesar’s Your Show of Shows.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

YMWONG22 6/1/2013 8:55AM

  emoticon

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MARILYNROBERT 5/27/2013 5:34PM

    emoticon emoticon

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TWEETYKC00 5/27/2013 9:07AM

    Thanks

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EVIE4NOW 5/27/2013 8:39AM

  Thanks for the trivia!

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NANCYRUBIO 5/27/2013 8:31AM

    The poor Librarians, what they had to put up with from all of us.
Loved the joke, my style of funny.


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RIDLEYRIDER 5/27/2013 8:04AM

  Thank you. We must never forget. emoticon

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DIANE7786 5/27/2013 7:51AM

    Great! Thanks for sharing.

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AZMOMXTWO 5/27/2013 7:47AM

  Interesting

Comment edited on: 5/27/2013 7:48:14 AM

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