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Tuesday Tickle

Tuesday, April 16, 2013



“What can I tell you? It starts with the occasional jelly doughnut, and before you know it, you’re a contestant on Animal Planet’s The Fattest Cat in America.”

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FRANCES-AGAPE 4/16/2013 11:35PM

    emoticon

Have you ever seen an
overweight cat - or ANY animal -
in the wild ?

We humans teach/train
our pets to be unhealthy like US !

emoticon SAD


Hope you had a Terrific Tuesday !
Have a Wonderful Wednesday !


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! PEACE, LOVE and BLESSINGS !

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MARILYNROBERT 4/16/2013 7:38PM

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JIMDAB 4/16/2013 10:37AM

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OCTOBERBORN 4/16/2013 9:44AM

    LOL! I've owned a few cats that look like that!

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NANCYRUBIO 4/16/2013 9:05AM

    Looks familiar!

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IDLETYME 4/16/2013 8:39AM

    Poor kitty! Needs a diet! emoticon

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JUDITHANNIE 4/16/2013 8:35AM

    Oh my!!!!!! emoticon

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RIDLEYRIDER 4/16/2013 7:13AM

  Darn those doughnuts!! emoticon

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DIANE7786 4/16/2013 6:35AM

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LIFETIMER54 4/16/2013 6:33AM

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BIGDOG18 4/16/2013 6:31AM

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Tax Day Assortment

Monday, April 15, 2013

A bartender was so sure he was the strongest man in town that he offered a standing $1,000 bet. He would squeeze all the juice out of a lemon and then hand it to someone at the bar. If that person could squeeze even one more drop of juice out of the lemon, he’d win the money.
Many people had tried, but no one had ever won. Then one day a tiny, scrawny little man walked in and challenged the bartender. All of the patrons laughed at the man, but the bartender agreed to the challenge and squeezed the lemon as hard as he could. Then he handed the shriveled remains to the man. The crowd gasped as the little man squeezed six more drops of juice from the lemon. Flabbergasted, the bartender paid the man his $1,000 and asked, “What do you do for a living? Are you a weightlifter? A lumberjack?”
“Oh, no,” the man replied. “I work for the IRS.”
________________________
What was the first Hollywood movie based on a board game?

Clue, in 1985. (A screenplay based on Monopoly has been written but never produced.)
_______________________
TUBE TALK

Shtick from The Dean Martin Celebrity Roasts

“Lucy always relied on slapstick, pratfalls, and physical comedy to make people laugh. And that was just on her honeymoon.”
—Milton Berle, on Lucille Ball

“You couldn’t ask for a better boss. If you did, he would fire you.”
—Audrey Meadows, on Jackie Gleason

“His movies were so bad, they were shown at drive-outs.”
—Dean Martin, on Ronald Reagan
___________________________

In 1959, the US Treasury produced a Father Knows Best episode that promoted savings bonds.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FRANCES-AGAPE 4/15/2013 8:28PM

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All GREAT !

Nowadays the roasts I have tried
to watch have been so vulgar that
I have had to quit watching

Have a Terrific Tuesday !

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! PEACE, LOVE and BLESSINGS !

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FCARMICH 4/15/2013 4:02PM

  ok

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MARILYNROBERT 4/15/2013 1:00PM

    emoticon

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TWEETYKC00 4/15/2013 10:02AM

    Thanks!

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NANCYRUBIO 4/15/2013 9:18AM

    Funny joke--- emoticon

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JUDITHANNIE 4/15/2013 8:47AM

    emoticon funny and interesting

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CAT609 4/15/2013 7:13AM

    Awesome!

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MYBULLDOGS 4/15/2013 6:40AM

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Sunday Silly

Sunday, April 14, 2013

What do you use to catch a school of fish?

Bookworms.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FCARMICH 4/15/2013 4:03PM

  ok

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JIMDAB 4/15/2013 9:57AM

    emoticon

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ANDRIANA11 4/15/2013 5:38AM

    LOL !!!!!

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FRANCES-AGAPE 4/14/2013 11:16PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

GREAT !

reminds me of ..........


MARK THE SPOT
Two friends rented a boat and fished in a lake every day. One day they caught thirty fish. One guy said to his friend,

"Mark this spot so that we can come back here again tomorrow."

The next day, when they were driving to rent the boat, the same guy asked his friend, "Did you mark that spot?"

His friend replied, "Yeah, I put a big 'X' on the bottom of the boat."

The first one said, "You stupid fool! What if we don't get that same boat today!?!?"


Hope you had a Super Sunday !
Have a Marvelous Monday !


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! PEACE, LOVE and BLESSINGS !

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MARILYNROBERT 4/14/2013 2:56PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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TWEETYKC00 4/14/2013 10:56AM

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NANCYRUBIO 4/14/2013 10:13AM

    OHHH! emoticon

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JUDITHANNIE 4/14/2013 8:31AM

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EVIE4NOW 4/14/2013 7:19AM

  got me to smile first thing. thank you.

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MILLIE-MILOU 4/14/2013 7:10AM

    Why are fish so smart?…They are always in schools.

R

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Saturday Assortment

Saturday, April 13, 2013

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Gopher.
Gopher who?
Gopher a walk to calm your nerves.
___________________
What 2009 song had the shortest title of any No. 1 hit on the Billboard Hot 100?

“3,” by Britney Spears. It was her third single to make it to No. 1 on the list.
___________________
EERIE AIRWAVES

ON TV: Mad TV aired hundreds of sketches mocking popular culture, such as a fake Friday the 13th sequel called Jason in Space, a fake ad for a vacuum cleaner with an iPod dock, and a fake ad for an “iPad” (though it wasn’t a computer).

IN REAL LIFE: Years later, the actual 2001 slasher film Jason X featured Jason in space; in 2009 Electrolux released a vacuum with an iPod dock; and in 2010 Apple released the iPad (though it wasn’t a feminine napkin).
______________________

Gil Bellows played William Thomas on Ally McBeal and Thomas Williams in The Shawshank Redemption.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FRANCES-AGAPE 4/13/2013 10:51PM

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Glad I'm not the only one
NOT to have OUTGROWN
knock-knock jokes !

Thursday night Jack's cousin
called, asking "I need cheering up.
Got any new jokes for me?"

Jack was on the computer and
I was afraid to mess yours up
so she hasn't heard any in a week

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YES. Eerie about MadTV



Have a Super Sunday !


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! PEACE, LOVE and BLESSINGS !

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MARILYNROBERT 4/13/2013 6:34PM

    Gophering a walk is good...ha ha emoticon

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FCARMICH 4/13/2013 12:36PM

  ok

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TWEETYKC00 4/13/2013 10:25AM

    cool, thanks

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JUDITHANNIE 4/13/2013 9:34AM

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DTCATSPARK 4/13/2013 9:05AM

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NANCYRUBIO 4/13/2013 9:04AM

    You are always so funny! emoticon

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SNS1968 4/13/2013 8:59AM

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Friday Assortment

Friday, April 12, 2013

A stockbroker was sent to jail and got nervous when he saw his cellmate, who looked like a real, hardened criminal.
“Don’t worry,” the cellmate said. “I’m in for white-collar crime—same as you.”
“Well, that’s a relief,” said the stockbroker. “I’m here for insider trading. What did you do?”
“Nothing fancy like that!” the convict said. He grinned. “I just killed a couple of priests.”
___________________
Which nation’s flag did a Texas county mistakenly print on the instruction sheets it distributed with absentee ballots?

Chile’s. The flags of Chile and the Lone Star State are incredibly similar. Both feature a white stripe on top, a red stripe on bottom, and a single five-pointed white star in the middle of a blue field. On Chile’s flag, the blue is in the top left corner, while on the Texas flag, it’s along the entire left side. The embarrassing mix-up, discovered in 2010, occurred in Atascosa County.
__________________
All about Otis (The Andy Griffith Show)

Otis worked in a glue factory, and every weekend he’d find himself some bootleg liquor—Mayberry was a dry town—and go on a brain-cell-demolishing bender. Afterward, he’d save Sheriff Andy Taylor the trouble of throwing him in the drunk tank by locking himself in one of the jail cells to sleep it off, then letting himself out in the morning. Otis disappeared from the show for its last two years (rumor had it that sponsors were unhappy with a drunk character prone to hallucinations and pratfalls), only to reappear in the 1986 reunion movie Return to Mayberry—all sobered up and now the town’s ice cream man. Fun fact: Hal Smith, who portrayed Otis, never had a sip of booze in his life.
______________________
Kenny Kramer, the inspiration for Seinfeld’s Kramer, sold the rights to his character for $1,000.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JIMDAB 4/15/2013 9:58AM

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FCARMICH 4/13/2013 12:38PM

  good stuff

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FRANCES-AGAPE 4/12/2013 11:20PM

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I was curious and Googled Otis
He was in LOTS of shows !

Found this Otis quiz -
only got 3 out of 7 right !
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Hope you do better
(could not add as a link -
you will have to copy/paste)

http://www.funtr
ivia.com/trivia-quiz/Television
/Mayberrys-Town-Drunk----All-Ab
out-Otis-165777.html

ENJOY !


! PEACE, LOVE and BLESSINGS !

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FRANCES-AGAPE 4/12/2013 10:36PM

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Another GREAT one for my joke folder !

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Jack used to live in Fort Worth, TX
he could hardly believe about the flag !

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I LOVED Otis !

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Ohhhhhhhhh
that pool original Kramer
too bad he didn't sign up
for a PERCENTAGE of the show !

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for the laughs and info

Have a Wonderful Weekend !


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! PEACE, LOVE and BLESSINGS !

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NANCYRUBIO 4/12/2013 10:04AM

    All were funny to read. Thanks for providing a little comic relief.

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CAT609 4/12/2013 7:28AM

    Awesome, thanks!

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