Friday, April 12, 2013
A stockbroker was sent to jail and got nervous when he saw his cellmate, who looked like a real, hardened criminal.
“Don’t worry,” the cellmate said. “I’m in for white-collar crime—same as you.”
“Well, that’s a relief,” said the stockbroker. “I’m here for insider trading. What did you do?”
“Nothing fancy like that!” the convict said. He grinned. “I just killed a couple of priests.”
Which nation’s flag did a Texas county mistakenly print on the instruction sheets it distributed with absentee ballots?
Chile’s. The flags of Chile and the Lone Star State are incredibly similar. Both feature a white stripe on top, a red stripe on bottom, and a single five-pointed white star in the middle of a blue field. On Chile’s flag, the blue is in the top left corner, while on the Texas flag, it’s along the entire left side. The embarrassing mix-up, discovered in 2010, occurred in Atascosa County.
All about Otis (The Andy Griffith Show)
Otis worked in a glue factory, and every weekend he’d find himself some bootleg liquor—Mayberry was a dry town—and go on a brain-cell-demolishing bender. Afterward, he’d save Sheriff Andy Taylor the trouble of throwing him in the drunk tank by locking himself in one of the jail cells to sleep it off, then letting himself out in the morning. Otis disappeared from the show for its last two years (rumor had it that sponsors were unhappy with a drunk character prone to hallucinations and pratfalls), only to reappear in the 1986 reunion movie Return to Mayberry—all sobered up and now the town’s ice cream man. Fun fact: Hal Smith, who portrayed Otis, never had a sip of booze in his life.
Kenny Kramer, the inspiration for Seinfeld’s Kramer, sold the rights to his character for $1,000.