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Friday Assortment

Friday, April 12, 2013

A stockbroker was sent to jail and got nervous when he saw his cellmate, who looked like a real, hardened criminal.
“Don’t worry,” the cellmate said. “I’m in for white-collar crime—same as you.”
“Well, that’s a relief,” said the stockbroker. “I’m here for insider trading. What did you do?”
“Nothing fancy like that!” the convict said. He grinned. “I just killed a couple of priests.”
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Which nation’s flag did a Texas county mistakenly print on the instruction sheets it distributed with absentee ballots?

Chile’s. The flags of Chile and the Lone Star State are incredibly similar. Both feature a white stripe on top, a red stripe on bottom, and a single five-pointed white star in the middle of a blue field. On Chile’s flag, the blue is in the top left corner, while on the Texas flag, it’s along the entire left side. The embarrassing mix-up, discovered in 2010, occurred in Atascosa County.
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All about Otis (The Andy Griffith Show)

Otis worked in a glue factory, and every weekend he’d find himself some bootleg liquor—Mayberry was a dry town—and go on a brain-cell-demolishing bender. Afterward, he’d save Sheriff Andy Taylor the trouble of throwing him in the drunk tank by locking himself in one of the jail cells to sleep it off, then letting himself out in the morning. Otis disappeared from the show for its last two years (rumor had it that sponsors were unhappy with a drunk character prone to hallucinations and pratfalls), only to reappear in the 1986 reunion movie Return to Mayberry—all sobered up and now the town’s ice cream man. Fun fact: Hal Smith, who portrayed Otis, never had a sip of booze in his life.
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Kenny Kramer, the inspiration for Seinfeld’s Kramer, sold the rights to his character for $1,000.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JIMDAB 4/15/2013 9:58AM

    emoticon

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FCARMICH 4/13/2013 12:38PM

  good stuff

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FRANCES-AGAPE 4/12/2013 11:20PM

    emoticon

I was curious and Googled Otis
He was in LOTS of shows !

Found this Otis quiz -
only got 3 out of 7 right !
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Hope you do better
(could not add as a link -
you will have to copy/paste)

http://www.funtr
ivia.com/trivia-quiz/Television
/Mayberrys-Town-Drunk----All-Ab
out-Otis-165777.html

ENJOY !


! PEACE, LOVE and BLESSINGS !

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FRANCES-AGAPE 4/12/2013 10:36PM

    emoticon emoticon
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Another GREAT one for my joke folder !

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Jack used to live in Fort Worth, TX
he could hardly believe about the flag !

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I LOVED Otis !

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Ohhhhhhhhh
that pool original Kramer
too bad he didn't sign up
for a PERCENTAGE of the show !

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for the laughs and info

Have a Wonderful Weekend !


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! PEACE, LOVE and BLESSINGS !

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NANCYRUBIO 4/12/2013 10:04AM

    All were funny to read. Thanks for providing a little comic relief.

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CAT609 4/12/2013 7:28AM

    Awesome, thanks!

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Thursday Assortment

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Two wizards were speeding along in their car when suddenly a policeman turned on his siren and gave chase. “Oh, no!” one said. “What are we going to do?”
“Quick,” the other replied, “turn the car into a side street.”
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What show business routine inspired football legend Knute Rockne to develop his infamous Notre Dame shift?

The chorus line, which he admired for its precision and timing. Rockne’s shift—in which all four backs moved simultaneously prior to the snap—was eventually banned because it was difficult to defend.
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MYTH: Longtime TV star Sandy Duncan (Funny Face, The Sandy Duncan Show, The Hogan Family) has a glass eye.

TRUTH: Shortly after Funny Face debuted in 1971, Duncan’s doctor discovered a noncancerous tumor behind her left eye. An operation removed the lump, but it left Duncan blind in that eye. So while it appears “glassy,” the eye is real.

(Huh - who knew? I always thought she had a glass eye.)
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The 1973 Mannix episode “Little Girl Lost” was solved 20 years later on Diagnosis Murder.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JIMDAB 4/15/2013 9:59AM

    emoticon

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JUDITHANNIE 4/11/2013 3:35PM

    Very interesting, thanks

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NANCYRUBIO 4/11/2013 9:35AM

    There is another debunked myth-Sandy Duncan.

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TWEETYKC00 4/11/2013 9:13AM

    good info, thanks.

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MOTLORAC 4/11/2013 6:16AM

    Thanks emoticon emoticon

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MYBULLDOGS 4/11/2013 6:12AM

    emoticon emoticon

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Wednesday Assortment

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Whenever five-year-old Emma was asked her name, she replied, “I’m Mr. Stevenson’s daughter.” One day her mother told her that was wrong and that instead she should say, “I’m Emma Stevenson.”
The next Sunday, the family went to church. After the service, the minister came up and asked her, “Aren’t you Mr. Stevenson’s daughter?”
Emma replied, “I thought I was, but my mother says I’m not.”
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What was the name of the BP offshore oil rig that exploded in 2010, spewing 4.9 million barrels of oil into the Gulf of Mexico?

The Deepwater Horizon.
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FABULOUS FLOP

Casablanca (1983)

Some movies are so adored and critically acclaimed that remaking them is unthinkable. Casablanca is one of them. Yet in 1983, NBC aired a series designed as a “prequel” to the film. To fill the shoes of screen legend Humphrey Bogart, whose portrayal of Rick Blaine was Bogie’s most famous performance, NBC hired David Soul, the guy who played Hutch on Starsky & Hutch. The film’s other central character, Ilsa Lund (played in the film by Ingrid Bergman) wasn’t even in the TV version … which lasted five weeks.
(I never saw this show, but I sure did watch Starsky & Hutch. I was and still am in love with Paul Michael Glaser!)
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Bing Crosby turned down the role of Columbo.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FCARMICH 4/10/2013 3:39PM

  ok

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MARILYNROBERT 4/10/2013 12:55PM

    Gotta be careful what you say to kids. emoticon

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JUDITHANNIE 4/10/2013 9:52AM

    emoticon emoticon

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NANCYRUBIO 4/10/2013 8:53AM

    You got me with your joke. How hard it would be to imagine others in the roles of the people we adore.

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MAGGIE101857 4/10/2013 7:11AM

    Paul Michael Glaser - he was a looker! Love the joke!!! Can't you just picture Mom's face! emoticon

Happy Wednesday!

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Tuesday Assortment

Tuesday, April 09, 2013

Captain: Are you happy now that you’re in the army?
Private: Yes, sir.
Captain: And what were you before you were in the army?
Private: Much happier.
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What names are bellowed in the shouting contest held annually at the Tennessee Williams/New Orleans Literary Festival?

Stella and Stanley. The anguished cries are in tribute to the most famous scene in Williams’s New Orleans–based play A Streetcar Named Desire, which was made even more famous by Marlon Brando in the 1951 movie version.
(I knew Stella was one of them, but I didn't get Stanley!)
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RECORD BREAKERS

(Almost) nobody’s watching

The February 3, 2008 broadcast of The CW’s newsmagazine CW Now aired opposite the Super Bowl on Fox. The Super Bowl brought in more than 95 million viewers, making it one of the most-watched broadcasts in TV history. But CW Now is the show that set the record. About 349,000 people tuned in, making it the least-watched prime-time show in network television history.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FCARMICH 4/10/2013 3:40PM

  ok!

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MARILYNROBERT 4/9/2013 12:48PM

    emoticon

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NANCYRUBIO 4/9/2013 9:13AM

    Always full of fun information.

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JUDITHANNIE 4/9/2013 8:55AM

    emoticon

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CAT609 4/9/2013 7:31AM

    Awesome! Thanks!

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Monday Assortment

Monday, April 08, 2013

Teacher: Buddy, how many times am I going to have to punish you for causing trouble in class?
Buddy: Forty-seven.
Teacher: Why forty-seven?
Buddy: That’s how many days are left until summer vacation.
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In regulation 10-pin bowling, how far apart is each pin from its adjacent pins?

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12 inches, measured from the center of each pin.
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Wonnerful!

On April 8, 1986, the Oklahoma Educational Television Authority (the state’s public television system) acquired the rights to The Lawrence Welk Show, which had been canceled by ABC in 1982 after 27 seasons, and sold it to PBS stations all over the country. Since then, reruns have aired at 7 P.M. on Saturday on many affiliates, the same time slot it had in its original run on ABC. It’s still one of PBS’s most-watched regular series.
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In 1958, a law was passed prohibiting the use of actors posing as doctors in commercials.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FCARMICH 4/10/2013 3:41PM

  ok

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FCARMICH 4/10/2013 3:41PM

  ok

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NANCYRUBIO 4/8/2013 11:09PM

    Where do you get all of this information?

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MARILYNROBERT 4/8/2013 8:00PM

    Ha ha, teachers can be so dumb. emoticon

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FRANCES-AGAPE 4/8/2013 7:52PM

    emoticon emoticon
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My BFF is a 3rd grade teacher.
She will LOVE this joke !
I think teachers count the school
days left MORE than students

NOT that my Dear Jack is OLD
BUT
as a teenager in the LATE 50s
he was a pinsetter !
(So he says, I was a mere infant then!)
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awwww
My paternal grandmother LOVED
Welk. She watched it faithfully.
So I watched it with her when
spending the night (60s-70s).
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I still watch it several times a year
on PBS for nostalgia and memories
of her. Some of it is CORNY, but
it gives me a warm, cozy feeling
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Interesting law, too


Hope you had a Marvelous Monday !
Have a Terrific Tuesday !

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! PEACE, LOVE and BLESSINGS !

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TWEETYKC00 4/8/2013 1:53PM

    good stuff, thanks

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JUDITHANNIE 4/8/2013 9:58AM

    great as usual....

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