Monday, December 17, 2012
Why did the pig go to the casino?
To play the slop machine.
A man got on a plane and was surprised to see that a parrot was in the seat next to his. The parrot didn’t say anything until after the stewardess came around to serve drinks. The man ordered a coffee, and the parrot squawked, “Get me a brandy, you stupid cow.” The stewardess was so shocked that she served the parrot the brandy but forgot to get the man’s coffee. A few minutes later, the man reminded her about the coffee, but the parrot squawked, “Get me another brandy, you lazy mare.” Flustered, the stewardess handed the bird his drink but again forgot about the man’s coffee. By now, the man was getting annoyed, so he decided to copy the parrot’s approach.
“Get me a coffee, you harlot!” he barked. The next thing he knew, he and the parrot had both been hurled out of the plane by two burly stewards. As they plummeted toward the ground, the parrot turned to him and said, “For someone who can’t fly, you’re awfully lippy!”
A bit of trivia -
What animal’s teeth gave rise to the expression “long in the tooth” to describe someone past his or her prime?
The horse. As a horse ages, its gums recede, exposing more and more of its teeth, and eventually the roots of its teeth. Thus the longer a horse’s teeth appear to be, the older the horse.