FERRETLOVER1   211,914
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Monday Mirth

Monday, December 17, 2012

Why did the pig go to the casino?

To play the slop machine.
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A man got on a plane and was surprised to see that a parrot was in the seat next to his. The parrot didn’t say anything until after the stewardess came around to serve drinks. The man ordered a coffee, and the parrot squawked, “Get me a brandy, you stupid cow.” The stewardess was so shocked that she served the parrot the brandy but forgot to get the man’s coffee. A few minutes later, the man reminded her about the coffee, but the parrot squawked, “Get me another brandy, you lazy mare.” Flustered, the stewardess handed the bird his drink but again forgot about the man’s coffee. By now, the man was getting annoyed, so he decided to copy the parrot’s approach.

“Get me a coffee, you harlot!” he barked. The next thing he knew, he and the parrot had both been hurled out of the plane by two burly stewards. As they plummeted toward the ground, the parrot turned to him and said, “For someone who can’t fly, you’re awfully lippy!”
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A bit of trivia -

What animal’s teeth gave rise to the expression “long in the tooth” to describe someone past his or her prime?

The horse. As a horse ages, its gums recede, exposing more and more of its teeth, and eventually the roots of its teeth. Thus the longer a horse’s teeth appear to be, the older the horse.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NANCYRUBIO 12/17/2012 11:55PM

    Loved the jokes, informative about the tooth!

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AGK3112 12/17/2012 7:09PM

    emoticon

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FCARMICH 12/17/2012 6:35PM

  okay

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TWEETYKC00 12/17/2012 6:29PM

    good ones, thanks

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JUDITHANNIE 12/17/2012 8:44AM

    Funny and interesting, thanks

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DARJR50 12/17/2012 7:23AM

  Those will keep me chuckling all day. Thanks

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RIDLEYRIDER 12/17/2012 7:14AM

  Good ones, thanks!! emoticon

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CAT609 12/17/2012 7:10AM

    Awesome

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PJSTIME 12/17/2012 6:31AM

    emoticon Have a wonderful Monday

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Sunday Sunshine

Sunday, December 16, 2012

What do you give a snake with a headache?

Asp-rin.

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FRANCES-AGAPE 12/22/2012 11:25PM

    emoticon

AWWWWWWWWW
I needed to see this last week
during the 5-day migraine !


Have a Super Sunday

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BLESSINGS!
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Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah, Happy Kawaaza, Happy Everything.


! HAPPY DECEMBER !
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AGK3112 12/16/2012 9:57PM

    emoticon

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NANCYRUBIO 12/16/2012 11:41AM

    Living in Az., I will have to remember that!

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TWEETYKC00 12/16/2012 10:55AM

    emoticon emoticon

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SUNSETBREEZE05 12/16/2012 10:19AM

    emoticon

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JUDITHANNIE 12/16/2012 9:39AM

    my son would love this one he's a snake person.....not me emoticon

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FCARMICH 12/16/2012 8:22AM

  okay

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TXTOAD9970 12/16/2012 8:18AM

    emoticon

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ROX525 12/16/2012 7:39AM

    emoticon

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Saturday Sillies

Saturday, December 15, 2012

Which snakes are best at math?

Adders!
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Waiter: Would you care for red or white wine?
Diner: It doesn’t matter. I’m color-blind.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AGK3112 12/15/2012 11:19PM

    nice

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FCARMICH 12/15/2012 3:39PM

  okay

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TWEETYKC00 12/15/2012 12:18PM

    cute ones.

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NTRACEY02 12/15/2012 10:32AM

    Two men walk into a bar; the third one ducked!

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JUDITHANNIE 12/15/2012 8:17AM

    emoticon

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ROX525 12/15/2012 7:03AM

    emoticon

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NWLIFESRC 12/15/2012 6:19AM

    Like em

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Friday Funnies

Friday, December 14, 2012

What do birds like in their salad?

Chick peas.
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A guy took his girlfriend to her first football game. After the game, he asked her how she liked it. “Well,” she replied, “it was interesting, but I just couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.”

Dumbfounded, the guy asked, “What do you mean?”

“Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, they all kept screaming: ‘Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!’ I’m like, relax, it’s only 25 cents!
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ROX525 12/15/2012 7:04AM

    Very cute

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FCARMICH 12/14/2012 6:45PM

  Yes!

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TWEETYKC00 12/14/2012 8:47AM

    Good stuff!

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AGK3112 12/14/2012 8:41AM

    It is so funny.. I am sure going to share it..I hope you don't mind

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JUDITHANNIE 12/14/2012 7:56AM

    I'm not in to football but that was funny. That's probably what I would say!!!!!! emoticon

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NANCYRUBIO 12/14/2012 7:17AM

    From a football fan, that is so funny. Thanks!

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CAT609 12/14/2012 7:05AM

    Too funny!

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Thursday's Teases

Thursday, December 13, 2012

What do you call the last grizzly to leave the party?

Un-bear-able.
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A woman took her husband to the doctor for a checkup. After his exam, the doctor pulled the wife aside and said, “I’m afraid your husband is ill. The only way to help him is to feed him three healthy, homemade meals a day, keep your house spotlessly clean, and forbid him to do any work around the house.” On the way home, the husband asked what the doctor had said to her.

“Oh,” she replied, “he said you’re going to die.”
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ROX525 12/15/2012 7:05AM

    LOL

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FCARMICH 12/14/2012 6:45PM

  Yup!

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FRANCES-AGAPE 12/13/2012 9:35PM

    emoticon



Have a Fabulous Friday !

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BLESSINGS!
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TWEETYKC00 12/13/2012 10:10AM

    Giggles big time!

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JUDITHANNIE 12/13/2012 9:20AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CAT609 12/13/2012 7:11AM

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