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Friday Funnies

Friday, July 20, 2012

A duck walks into a psychiatrist’s office. The doctor sits up very straight and says, “I hope we can get started on a better note this time, or I’m afraid I’m not going to be able to treat you.” The duck pauses, then says it again: “QUACK!!”
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A lady went into a pet store and told the owner she’d like to buy two yellow canaries. “I’m sorry, I’m all out of canaries, but I do have these,” the owner said, pointing out some light green parakeets.

“That’s not what I want,” the lady replied.

But the owner was persistent: “Just think of them as yellow canaries that aren’t quite ripe yet.”

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ROX525 7/22/2012 7:22AM

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MISSDAISY23 7/20/2012 11:22AM

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JUDITHANNIE 7/20/2012 8:32AM

    cute as usual.... emoticon

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CAM2438 7/20/2012 7:04AM

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FCARMICH 7/20/2012 6:56AM

  salesmen!

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PATTOMMC3 7/20/2012 6:47AM

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Thursday Tee-Hees

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Two lions went into a pub, ordered some beers, and hungrily took some sandwiches out of their pockets.
“You can’t eat your own sandwiches in here,” complained the bartender.
The lions swapped sandwiches. “Happy now?”
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An elderly man knew he needed a hearing aid, but he didn’t want to spend a lot of money. So he asked the salesman for the cheapest one. The salesman showed him the least expensive model, which cost $5. He explained, “You just stick the button in your ear and run this little string down into your pocket.”

“For only $5, does it work well?” asked the old man.

“Oh, it doesn’t work at all,” said the salesman. “But when people see it on you, they’ll talk a lot louder.”

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ROX525 7/22/2012 7:23AM

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JUDITHANNIE 7/19/2012 9:41PM

    cute ones


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NYKIMMIE 7/19/2012 7:03AM

    emoticon

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DEBBIELCG 7/19/2012 6:44AM

    thanks for the morning laughs.

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FCARMICH 7/19/2012 6:31AM

  okay

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PJSTIME 7/19/2012 6:25AM

    Put a smile on my face first thing this morning. Thanks

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Wednesday Witticisms

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Where do apes like to hang out after work?

The monkey bars—where else?
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Justin: My apartment is really tiny.

Julie: Really? How tiny is it?

Justin: It’s so tiny that there isn’t even room for improvement.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ROX525 7/22/2012 7:24AM

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FRANCES-AGAPE 7/18/2012 11:31PM

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Have a BLESSED
Thursday !!

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BLESSINGS!

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SHOAPIE 7/18/2012 11:17AM

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JUDITHANNIE 7/18/2012 9:36AM

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FCARMICH 7/18/2012 6:43AM

  okay

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NYKIMMIE 7/18/2012 6:43AM

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Tuesday Thoughts & Tickles

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

How do you start a dog race?

“On your bark, get set, go!”

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SECRETS OF ADULTHOOD

• Some people don’t like surprise parties.

• Over-the-counter medicines are very effective.

• The fun part doesn’t come later—now is the fun part.

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At the pearly gates …
Everyone on Earth died and went to Heaven. When they arrived, God asked the men to form two lines. One for all the men who had controlled their women on Earth, and another for all the men who’d been controlled by women. Then he sent all the women off with St. Peter. When God looked at the lines, he saw that the line of men who’d been controlled by women stretched on endlessly. But the line for men who’d controlled their women had only one guy in it. God asked, “How is it that only one of my sons has been strong enough to stand in this line?”

“I’m not sure,” said the lone man. “My wife just told me to stand here!”
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FRANCES-AGAPE 7/18/2012 12:22AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon


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More GREAT goodies

Have a Wonderful
Wednesday

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BLESSINGS !



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FCARMICH 7/17/2012 11:14AM

  okay

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TENACIOUSTRISH 7/17/2012 6:51AM

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DIANE7786 7/17/2012 6:49AM

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ROX525 7/17/2012 6:47AM

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To Thine Own Self Be True

Monday, July 16, 2012

“It is essential to happiness that our way of living should spring from our own deep impulses and not from the accidental tastes and desires of those who happen to be our neighbors, or even our relations.”


—BERTRAND RUSSELL

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FRANCES-AGAPE 7/16/2012 11:44PM

    emoticon

I also like what the poet
EE Cummings said

It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.

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for reminding us

Have a Terrific Tuesday

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BLESSINGS !

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JUDITHANNIE 7/16/2012 9:14AM

    Amen to that....

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TWEETYKC00 7/16/2012 8:09AM

    Very true.

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FCARMICH 7/16/2012 7:21AM

  okay

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LEANJEAN6 7/16/2012 6:53AM

    emoticon--Well saID!!

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SHYTHUGETTE 7/16/2012 6:51AM

    Love the quote!

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ROX525 7/16/2012 6:50AM

    Thank you for the reminder. Have a great day!

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SWEETANGO 7/16/2012 6:44AM

    A good one to remember. emoticon emoticon

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