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Friday Funnies

Friday, June 22, 2012

What does an orangutan order first at a restaurant?

Ape-etizers.
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During a play’s intermission, the theater manager saw a man sprawled across several seats, groaning loudly. He assumed the man was drunk, so he watched him for a few minutes to see if he’d stir. But the man kept moaning and groaning, and the manager felt he had no choice but to ask him to leave. He approached the man and said, “Where have you come from?”

The man replied weakly, “The balcony.”

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FCARMICH 6/23/2012 7:44AM

  ouch!

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DIANE7786 6/22/2012 7:16AM

    Thanks for the morning smile!

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GARDENCHRIS 6/22/2012 7:08AM

    emoticon

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RIDLEYRIDER 6/22/2012 7:03AM

  Good ones, as usual! Thanks! emoticon

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3 ways to avoid procrastination

Thursday, June 21, 2012

1. Do it first thing in the morning. If you dread doing something, you’re going to think of more creative excuses as the day goes on. Without delay is the easiest way.

2. If you put off a task that you try to do several times a week, try doing it every day, instead. When you know you have to do something, there’s no dithering, there’s no juggling. If you’re finding it hard to go for a walk four times a week, try going every day.

3. Make preparations, assemble the proper tools. If you dread a task, it helps to feel prepared. Gather up phone numbers and printouts, read background information, make a list, whatever you need. Dividing a tough task into preparation and execution makes it easier to tackle.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FCARMICH 6/23/2012 7:42AM

  Thank you -- all good tips!

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Wednesday Witticisms

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

What did the upstanding weasel war hero receive?

A badger of honor.
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HAPPINESS: TRUE RULES

Your body matters.

Loving actions inspire
loving feelings.
__________________
Man: My wife and I would have split up years ago if it hadn’t been for our kids.
Friend: Oh, yeah? You both refused to give up custody?
Man: No, neither of us wanted to take them!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CLAVINOVA 6/20/2012 7:09AM

    Thanks for the early morning humor! Have a great day.

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RIDLEYRIDER 6/20/2012 6:41AM

  Love to start my day with a chuckle! emoticon

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Tuesday Tickle

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Five horses were playing poker. One was dealt the worst hand of his life, so he did what any of us would probably do: he foal-ded.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CLAVINOVA 6/20/2012 7:10AM

    Very cute - thanks for these tickles!

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IDLETYME 6/19/2012 11:09AM

    emoticon

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TWEETYKC00 6/19/2012 8:16AM

    Oh Groan! lol.

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BIGMAMAT 6/19/2012 7:24AM

    hahaha. emoticon

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RIDLEYRIDER 6/19/2012 7:19AM

  Didn't see that one coming! emoticon

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TATTER3 6/19/2012 6:58AM

    cute

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NAKIOMA 6/19/2012 6:53AM

    Good Grief - made me smile - thanks..............

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Monday Maunderings

Monday, June 18, 2012

"You don't have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great." -Zig Ziglar

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“The secret of happiness lies in taking a genuine interest in all the details of daily life.”


—WILLIAM MORRIS

  


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