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Here I am at the beginning again

Sunday, May 09, 2010

Well life takes us all full circle. And mine seems to go in circles. I am addicted to sugar, as surely as anything. I am slowly trying to weed it out of my life. Maybe this time I will find success. then again, if I just concentrate on cutting back on it today and let tomorrow take care of itself, I may be more successful.

My choloestrol levels this year have been dangerously high. I had my medications upped and it brought about vertigo so it was cut back to the ential dosage. I am working with my trainer again and am really trying to put myself on a schedule with my meals. These are the things which I feel interfere with any successes I may have.

I really have a difficult time journaling about my feelings. I can state facts, crack jokes, and write about anger and about visual beauty, anything else eludes me. I know that I eat my feelings, but can't seem to break the cycle. No wonder my life goes in circles.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DEBBIEDAY 5/13/2010 2:50PM

    6 pounds gone this week??? AWESOME my friend now JOURNAL a congratulations note to yourself and tell yourself how amazing you are!!!! emoticon

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TWINKS55 5/9/2010 9:53PM

    Hi Fermari!
Well, some of go the trial and error route! LOL!
What struck me most was when you said ". I know that I eat my feelings,". Finding a way to master these without eating them could make such success.Its frustrating when we keep that same pattern. Are there any other possible routes for you?
I do empathize. Stress is doing similar havoc with me right now.
Let's not give up, ok?


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    It's tough. Maybe try baby steps instead of an all or none approach? That has helped me. Best wishes! You can do this!

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JOYINLOSS 5/9/2010 8:30AM

    Fermari, I think all of us have been there. Some are successful and get it right the first time. Then there are the rest of us like you that are certainly a work in progress. The important thing is that you don't give up.

I don't know if it would work or not but since you like sugar, what if you made it your treat for the end of the day or as a reward for doing something you set out to do for the day. I have found if I have sugar in the morning, I want it during the day all day long.

I'm so glad you are back. I really did miss you.



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JFROGDIVA 5/9/2010 8:17AM

    Mary ~ This is the third time I am trying to write this.......it keeps disappearing!!!! LOL!!!!
Hugzz ~ Jae emoticon

Comment edited on: 5/9/2010 8:22:29 AM

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JFROGDIVA 5/9/2010 8:14AM

    Mary ~ I understand & can relate!! I have been here, but my head & heart weren't in it!!!! I am really trying this time!!!! It seems like when I try, things always interfere & sabotage me!!!! I am REALLY trying though!!!! I am SO GLAD that you are back!!!! I have missed you & your adventures!!!! LOL LOL!!!! Hang in htere.....you CAN do it!!!!
Hugzz ~ Jae emoticon

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KENDRA.PESCE 5/9/2010 4:11AM

    I know how you feel. I often feel the same. It's a vicious circle.

I'm hopeful each time about making progress only to find that I'm at the same place I was in.

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Down and Out in California

Thursday, July 10, 2008

I have way too much engery while lying down and as soon as I move I feel like a drunken sailor. I am bored out of my mind and don't know what to do about it. I mean how much can you read, watch T.V. or just sit.
I am trying to exercise with vertigo. That's funny actually. I lay on my back and bicyle in the air. But even that gets boring. pluse when I start to sweat, the sofa feels like a warm blanket. Yuck.
Ha ha! Can you imagine what it is like suddenly feeling like you need to answer the call of mother nature and know that it may take longer to get there than she is allotting? That I must say is a lot of time to pray. (Please God, Please God let me make it) LOL I know I have a sick sense of humor!
This blog is proof of how bored I am. It is a bunch of rambling. Well ladies this is what life is. I ramble here, I ramble there, every where I ramble I leave a bit of humor. Or at least try to. I must be creative at a time like this.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JFROGDIVA 3/21/2009 1:30PM

    Mary - I just wanted to let you know that I may have to leave BLC next time too!!!! With being sick & Hubby & the farm, I just won't have the time!! PLEASE stay in touch!!!! I value your friendship more than you will ever know!!!! THANKS for being my friend!!!! Hugzz - Jae emoticon

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TWINKS55 11/2/2008 4:29PM

    Your humour is refreshing Mary!

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MSTELZER 7/10/2008 5:20PM

    Oh I am so sorry to hear this!!! My sister-in-law sufferes from this as well and it is horrible. She will call in the middle of the night when it gets bad asking for one of us to come and help her.

I know she has to go to a chiropracter and something about switching her positions with a very quick and rapid movement or something like that. I am not sure but she has talked about it and says it sometimes helps after a few visits. Then she says she is ok for awhile until the next round of it!!!

Thinking of you!!!!

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Monday, April 28, 2008

The air is warm and sweet with the scent of hay. When I step out on the porch, I smell the smells and the feel of warmth of the season. The world comes alive for me at this time of year. My hands work the soil, while the sun warms the world. My whole being awakens as from a winters slumber, and my soul rejoices in the world.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TWINKS55 6/30/2008 12:39PM

    What a beautiful blog Fermari! I feel rejuvenated reading it. Thank you!
We have much in commom I do believe!!
Dianne emoticon

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3AUSSIES 5/1/2008 2:51PM

    Thinking of you as you work...tilling and enriching the soil, nourishing it to fruition. Enjoy the warmth, the contentment and the therapy while using your hands as instruments to complete God's works of nature. Love you, Ellen

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