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Today is my 50th birthday what a nightmare

Friday, April 18, 2014

today i turn 50, car is broke we have no vehicle, husbands job took double taxes out this week so small check, not sure how hubby is getting to work.... he's upset he can't get me anything for my 50th or at least bake me a cake...
I swear someone has a hex on us this past month has been a living nightmare when I think we've already hit the bottom we manage to sink more...
I'd say that we can only go up from here but that's what i've thought for a while life just keeps getting worse!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  
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IMAVISION 4/18/2014 10:45AM

    Cheer up! emoticon is on its way!

My prayer for you is that, in spite of all the seemingly negative things going on, you will be able to zero in on the positive blessings of your life. Living for half a century & being healthy is one to get your list started. Another is that you have a husband to share life's burdens with. Another --- you obviously have a home & many, many comforts that the majority of our fellow human beings the world over will never enjoy. The list can go on & on, if you allow yourself to move past those temporary problems & into the beautiful light of all your blessings.

God bless your birthday in unique & wonderful ways!

Ima

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PENNYPANCAKES 4/18/2014 10:36AM

  What doesn't break you makes you stronger!!! Keep repeating that. From reading your blogs you have been through so much this last year, and you got through it. Head up, chin held high, you have a family that loves you thats better than any store bought gift and in regards to the car, this too shall pass. Glad to see you blogging again I was about to send you a message as it wasn't like you to not blog for a week, Happy Birthday!! emoticon

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DIANITAH 4/18/2014 10:18AM

    In the past year I've come out of a really tough time. One thing I had to really work on was how I viewed what was happening around me. I wrote in my journal every night before I slept. The last thing I wrote each day was something I was thankful for. There were days where it came down to things like hot water in my house, that I live close to family that helps me or even the fact that I just woke up that day.

My life did not change overnight. It took a while. But now, when things get crappy (and frankly I had a bad day yesterday), I try to focus on what went right.

That being said, I'm sorry about your car. Because that honestly sucks.

Still try to carve out some time to have a emoticon

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I never thought this bullying situation would be this bad

Monday, April 07, 2014

I never thought when first dealing with this current bullying situation that it would take the toll it has on us as a family and #1 my son. This has been such a nightmare and all I ever really wanted was justice for my son and to somehow report this school system by contacting something like the Dept of Ed or a bullying advocate but it's not that easy and it's a shame that unless your gay, lesbian, transgender, disabled or it's racist that you fall through the cracks.
I the senator's office said that they talked to the Dept of Ed and they said sue the school, today the psychologist said we need to contact an attorney, it's something that I honestly didn't want to do but I'm afraid I'm going to have to.
The weekends we're at ease more, but come Sunday evening we're all nerved up again and I can't even stand the smell of food and nearly passed out today because all I had eaten was dry toast and gingerale.... I ate decent over the weekend and then Sunday came and forget it!
I got an email from a teacher saying she wasn't ABLE to write a character reference if I had any questions call the principal (now this was a teacher that at the beginning of the school year we told her about past bullying situations and she said oh no I don't put up with that I'm very aggressive when it comes to bullying and now she 's like oh yeah not able to write a character reference, guess the principal got a hold of her or she just doesn't want to get involved.
I'm glad that we were in the meeting when my son spoke up about how he feels because if we weren't the principal would of said my son was disrespectful and he wasn't so I told my son see how important it is you make sure we're there if they call you in during school? he said yes mom, they would of said I was crossing that fine line and making him feel uncomfortable and I would of had no witnesses.
It's really a shame we only wanted to put a complaint in, but now it's almost as if we're forced to sue... but then again the doctor bills are starting to pile up and I have a very large deductable to meet and these visits wouldn't of been needed if not for the bullying and the way the superintendent and principal have handled this whole thing.
As if we haven't been under enough stress MIL ended up in hospital , hope she'll be okay just can't take anymore stress in this family... I wish my SIL's were more demanding about info they don't ask any questions UGH....
Again thanks for the support

  
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AZ_CAT_PERSON 4/8/2014 4:43PM

    praying for you and your family through this stressful time.

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LADYVOLSFAN1954 4/8/2014 2:47PM

    Y'all are in my prayers as always. This is such an awful situation and I truly feel for you. Good luck with the attorney. I hope you're really documenting everything in detail so you have a good reference point of who & when you've talked to about this. emoticon

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CINDYSDAY 4/8/2014 2:41PM

    emoticon

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MEWHENRYSMAMA 4/8/2014 12:37AM

    Trust me I know this is easier said then done, but stay on it...find out about legal aid and call some well known attorneys and see if they are interested in taking it! This is awful. I am sure the teacher who would not write the letter was told not to...you need to make sure you keep all these details! Yes, you do need to sue...it has been handled, or not handled, all wrong, you have accumulated bills and your son was mistreated by the peoplewho were to protect and support him! Since when is bullying only for certain people?
Good Luck....you remain in my thoughts and prayers!

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It's Saturday so everyone's nerves are at rest

Saturday, April 05, 2014

Friday evening and Saturday everyone's nerves are at rest and we can all eat decent because we know no school Saturday or Sunday, but come Sunday evening it's a different story.
The anxiety will start up again, pains in the stomach, the bathroom will be invaded countless times because we know come Monday morning he goes back to that damn school. Some kid wanted to talk to him Thursday but my son had to go cause my hubby was waiting and he just knows it's about the bullying, but the kid wasn't around Friday so I just know my son is going to deal with something Monday.
It still kills me how a 6 2 principal about 270 lbs who works out said my son a 129 lbs who is 5 7 was making him feel uncomfortable because he was telling him how he felt in a respectful way ( no swearing, no yelling), telling him you don't care and how I had to do is job for him.
My son has an appointment Monday with the psychologist and we have to take him out of school 45 minutes earlier. I'm glad my son asked to go talk to someone he needs to vent to not only us but someone else.
He's with show choir which has been a god send for him but today is the last show and no more after school rehearsals for that just the play.
I asked the teacher who has also had him as a student and now involved in show choir to write a character reference for my son and WOW the letter he wrote was so beautiful it brought me to tears.
He mentioned how my son has opened up to everyone about how he's been bullied in the past and made everyone cry including him a grown man. He told my son when my son asked him to write it because someone was saying he was disrespectful to women (the bully) and he said to my son are you kidding your to nice, he said don't think I didn't notice 2 weeks ago when we had a competition and it was cold out and one of the girls said she was freezing you offered her you jacket, he said if anything your to nice.
He said such beautiful things about my son it literally brought us to tears.
So today my son will have a good day, he'll have a good night and then tomorrow evening will start up the nightmare all over again.....
Again thanks for all the support! emoticon

  
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CINDYSDAY 4/8/2014 2:39PM

    Praying for you all.

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FRAN0426 4/7/2014 1:32PM

    Hoping all works out well for your son, and you all can get back to being a family without all this bullying going on.

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EILEEN828 4/6/2014 7:14AM

    I hope you have a restful weekend. Here's a thought, maybe the bully will finally move on you're making it too tough for him. People who bully are deeply insecure inside, just keep that in mind. Do your best to change your focus, it's spring time! emoticon

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MEWHENRYSMAMA 4/5/2014 8:31PM

    At a time a such horror, how wonderful the teacher wrote that letter!
I am so pleased your son is seeing the psychologist on Monday after school!
He needs this...and you might want to ask her/him what he suggests you do with
The situation...sue the school, go to TV news, etc. I am sure they will have some suggestions. I continue to send thoughts and prayers! May Sunday night be easier knowing he has someone to talk to!
Take care,
Mary
P.S. This principal is such a terrible example of an administrator!

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The meeting with the principal yesterday

Saturday, April 05, 2014

So we get there he wants the officer to come in the room , I said no that's okay we don't need him... so of course he had the VP taking notes again.
My son spoke first, let me tell you something about my son he has been raised to be respectful not only to elders but to authority, he has manners beyond what you'd ever see in this day and age (manners were always something we were big on and showing respect to others).
My son said before we left I'm going to tell this principal how I feel mom, I said you do that and so when we got in there he said how now another boy was bothering him because of the bully not keeping his mouth shut. He said you know (principal) you can say you have bent over backwards but it was my mother who did your job for you, you didn't offer any safety measures and I know you don't care about me your just trying to avoid a lawsuit.
He said you don't care about me at all it's very clear to me and that's why when the kid bothered me in the cafeteria I didn't go to anyone because there isn't anyone in here that really cares or that I really trust. My son even took a card out of his wallet from the superintendent that said about that being the nurses pass.
Principal says to him if I didn't care we wouldn't be having this meeting and your crossing a line in the way your talking to me that is making me feel very uncomfortable and your being disrespectful (now my son didn't raise his voice, he didn't swear and he wasn't disrespectful , because had he been I would of stopped him).
He interrupted my son and my son please let me finish and he said no only adults get to finish now you listen to me.... so we listened and then I laid in and in a very calmly manner because I never want them to say that I yelled at him, swore at him or was disrespectful.
I said first of all my son isn't being disrespectful to you, he's telling you how he feels and how you've dealt with this whole situation hasn't been right. I said you had a student telling you that he was scared to walk around the school and you chose to do nothing about it, you said you couldn't have someone walk him into classes, that there were teachers in the hallway and the officer walks around. I told you I was scared for my son you still didn't offer the safe person, I had to look online and find that my son should of been offered that, I said you going to tell his other teachers you said oh you want me to do that? of course!
I said we asked for a bathroom pass now you say the bathroom pass wasn't a big deal but yet you wrote in a report on the 21st that you issued him one and at that meeting that morning you said in a sarcastic way MRS >>>>>>>> when we get out of this meeting I'm going to write a note, laminate it and make it all pretty! I said which you never did until 3 days later and that is only because the superintendent got on you.
I said another thing my son has lyme and (it was cold 3 weeks ago) I said he can't be standing out in the cold we had a real cold front, he said well you son decided to change his schedule that day , my husband what do you mean?
The bully goes to one side of the school to take a bus so they had my son waiting outside so the bully could get to his bus and my son forgot he had show choir practice and wanted to go back in the building and they said no.
He said well they go out the same door, it would be better if you picked him up near the auditorium like the other day, I said we didn't pick him up we brought him something for show choir and if they are leaving out of the same door it's because we don't know where this kid lives and what bus if any he gets on, I said you should of told us so that is less stress on my son, so he doesn't have to see this kid at the end of the day. I said you should of mentioned this in a previous meeting as this is the 3rd meeting with you already.
I said we're fine with picking him up by the auditorium the less stress for my son the better. I said this is becoming a very unhealthy environment for my son not only emotionally but when my son is in a fetal position in pain with his stomach and usually likes to eat and isn't this is having more of an effect that you know. I said I'm not here making up this stuff this is happening to my son.
I said I feel like a rotten mother because I have to send him to school, I said he use to enjoy coming to school but he doesn't anymore. I said when he was a freshman and you went up to him one day and asked how he was (before any incidents at the high school) he said well I'm not learning anything from my Science teacher, I said how many high school students would say to the principal I want to learn but can't because of the chaos in the classroom? not many...
I said the way this whole situation has been handled has been a nightmare and my son is frustrated and my family is in turmoil because to see what our son is going through as loving parents we're going through it too.
He asked what I wanted to be done, I said well you know he's been told not only by you to keep quiet the court magistrate looked him dead in the eyes and told him to keep quiet, not to get his friends after my son and I mean this guy was scary and it didn't scare him.
I said not only that what is this about a letter your VP wrote on behalf of the bully? The mother said she had a letter from the male VP saying that my son is always in trouble for harrassing people, he said what?????????? I said yeah, she was waving a letter in her hands to the magistrate and telling him that she was going to dig up mud on my son.
I said what was in that letter? They said she requested a report, I said I never received a report, they said the report was on her son saying how many times he had been in conflicts.
They said we wrote nothing on your son we couldn't even though she asked about your son we told her it's private. I said you have nothing on my son, do you? he said no he's a good boy. I said you know a boy came up to my son in the cafeteria and was trying to make the other kids go along with him to get my son to move, but the other boys stuck up for my son. I said that boy needs to be talked to and told that we're not suing that kid cause that is what he's telling people.
I said you wanted my son to reroute his travels and it took me to write a letter to you which thankfully you respected, (the respected it because I said how he was a minor and under the bully prevention bill of rights for parents and kids I have the right to be there for any meetings and I guess he didn't want to push it).
My son said I have to get going to my class I have to research something, so he left as he left the room I told him something I've been saying since all this happened be strong, be careful and I love you ( I didn't care I said it in front of them it's what I've been saying to him, it use to be before all this happened I'd say have a good day , I love you) now I have to say be strong and be careful.
I said how said is it that my son didn't feel safe going to anyone when that happened in the cafeteria, he said well the officer was there, I said yeah like he needs to draw more attention to himself with the officer, this kid keeps mentioning that we got the police after him. I said that only makes my son more of a target, I said you know you have 3 kids I hope you never have to go through what my family has gone through in this school system, I said my son has been out of school 4 days in less then 3 weeks!!!!!! That is not normal for my son, I said you need to do something about this very unhealthy environment, he said well he can speak to one of the councelors here, my son had said when he was in the room, why so that person can twist my words? he said no thank you my parents are bringing me to see someone.
As for the aid from the Senators office she finally called me back today and said I talked to the DEPT OF EDUCATION( THIS IS COMING FROM THE DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION) she has done everything she can do she needs to SUE THE SCHOOL.... imagine that?

  
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MEWHENRYSMAMA 4/5/2014 8:23PM

    Just horrible and sad! I think it might be time for the news and ck with legal aid!?
This is so wrong and being handled so badly! So, the politician is saying sue the school? Do you have lawyers there who are well known and do not charge unless they win? We have two major firms here...call them! ATLEAST get a consultation!
Prayers and good wishes are with you...

Comment edited on: 4/5/2014 8:25:05 PM

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FRAN0426 4/5/2014 3:00PM

    Why is it schools want to sweep everything under a rug and forget anything happened. Then claim they have a great school for all the kids and don't tolerate bullying. I think maybe a school change would benefit your son about now to get away from the people who are suppose to make his school days safe and refuse. Sounds to me like the principal has been a bully himself in all of this.

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CINDYSDAY 4/5/2014 9:55AM

    I am glad that you have finally got the attention of some people! You are always in my thoughts and prayers!

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LADYVOLSFAN1954 4/5/2014 9:22AM

    I'm so very sorry to hear this. Keeping you in my prayers. Be sure to continue to document everything! Sending you big emoticon and give your son a big emoticon too - he needs all the support he can get. Take care, be safe and document! emoticon

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PATSYB7 4/5/2014 7:34AM

    I am so sorry your son is going through this and am praying that the school personnel wakes up and takes the appropriate action. The law is on your side. Please tell you son I am thinking of him and praying for him. He deserves an educational experience free from this bully.

Document everything! This is a sad commentary on our society.
emoticon

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So principal called back

Thursday, April 03, 2014

I told him I knew nothing of a meeting this morning and looked on my phone history to see if a phone call had been made from them since last friday and guess what? mysteriously nooooooooooooooooo history of them calling! big surprise!
I said you know I wouldn't of blown that meeting off since I'm the one who requested it and another thing my son was out of school today (let me just say I'm saying all this in a calm voice) he says yes I know. I said well he didn't go to school because they bully isn't keeping his mouth closed and is telling everyone we're suing them and got the police after him and some kid came up to my son at lunch and told him to leave the table that he couldn't believe he was doing this to him and said to the other kids you believe he got the cops after him and he's suing him!
Principal says well why didn't your son report it to someone? I said because he doesn't trust anyone in that school to go report anything to now, I said it's pretty bad when he doesn't feel comfortable going to anyone.
He says so your mad at me cause your son didn't report it? I said no I'm telling you my son is sick as a dog here, not eating, sleeping and in the fetal position because his stomach is killing him from his nerves that's what I'm telling you.
He says well what do you want me to do? I said well you know the magistrate told this kid to keep his mouth shut, not to get any of his friends after my son and you told him to keep quiet and he's not listening to anyone and in the meantime my son is in a very unhealthy environment not just suffering emotionally but physical pain when you can't even move cause your stomach is in that much pain.
So guess what???????? in the mornig we all have to go in because he said well I'll talk to Peter in the morning I said not without us you won't so I guess we'll all be paying you a visit.
all my son ate today was a chicken leg and a small bag of popcorn that's it....

  
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MEWHENRYSMAMA 4/4/2014 7:32AM

    Will be thinking of you and praying for a good outcome!
So sorry you have to continue with this mess and your son has to suffer!
I can not believe this is how they choose to deal with this!
Any word on meeting with the political person?
Take care!

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JOYCECAIN 4/3/2014 5:05AM

    This has been going on for some time. I hope it gets taken care of soon for your son's sake.

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EILEEN828 4/3/2014 2:20AM

    I hope that your son's upset stomach is only the product of stress. Make sure he eats well rounded meals, even if it's only a few bites. Make sure he's drinking water. A multivitamin would be helpful now too. Good luck with your meeting.

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VIADOLOROSA 4/3/2014 12:31AM

    I'm in your corner, keep up the good work. I'm sorry this is happening to him. 2 yrs ago the same thing happened to my family. I kept detailed records, got names of witnesses, etc. Take a tape recorder with you to the meeting!!!! Make it a hidden tape recorder and don't let them know you have it on.

2 yrs later we have permanent, lifetime restraining orders against the kid who bullied my son, AND his father. His father started stalking me... he didn't know he was messin' with an Iowa farm girl.

Whatever you do, don't give up. Keep hammering away until it stops.

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