Friday, April 18, 2014
today i turn 50, car is broke we have no vehicle, husbands job took double taxes out this week so small check, not sure how hubby is getting to work.... he's upset he can't get me anything for my 50th or at least bake me a cake...
I swear someone has a hex on us this past month has been a living nightmare when I think we've already hit the bottom we manage to sink more...
I'd say that we can only go up from here but that's what i've thought for a while life just keeps getting worse!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Monday, April 07, 2014
I never thought when first dealing with this current bullying situation that it would take the toll it has on us as a family and #1 my son. This has been such a nightmare and all I ever really wanted was justice for my son and to somehow report this school system by contacting something like the Dept of Ed or a bullying advocate but it's not that easy and it's a shame that unless your gay, lesbian, transgender, disabled or it's racist that you fall through the cracks.
I the senator's office said that they talked to the Dept of Ed and they said sue the school, today the psychologist said we need to contact an attorney, it's something that I honestly didn't want to do but I'm afraid I'm going to have to.
The weekends we're at ease more, but come Sunday evening we're all nerved up again and I can't even stand the smell of food and nearly passed out today because all I had eaten was dry toast and gingerale.... I ate decent over the weekend and then Sunday came and forget it!
I got an email from a teacher saying she wasn't ABLE to write a character reference if I had any questions call the principal (now this was a teacher that at the beginning of the school year we told her about past bullying situations and she said oh no I don't put up with that I'm very aggressive when it comes to bullying and now she 's like oh yeah not able to write a character reference, guess the principal got a hold of her or she just doesn't want to get involved.
I'm glad that we were in the meeting when my son spoke up about how he feels because if we weren't the principal would of said my son was disrespectful and he wasn't so I told my son see how important it is you make sure we're there if they call you in during school? he said yes mom, they would of said I was crossing that fine line and making him feel uncomfortable and I would of had no witnesses.
It's really a shame we only wanted to put a complaint in, but now it's almost as if we're forced to sue... but then again the doctor bills are starting to pile up and I have a very large deductable to meet and these visits wouldn't of been needed if not for the bullying and the way the superintendent and principal have handled this whole thing.
As if we haven't been under enough stress MIL ended up in hospital , hope she'll be okay just can't take anymore stress in this family... I wish my SIL's were more demanding about info they don't ask any questions UGH....
Again thanks for the support
Saturday, April 05, 2014
Friday evening and Saturday everyone's nerves are at rest and we can all eat decent because we know no school Saturday or Sunday, but come Sunday evening it's a different story.
The anxiety will start up again, pains in the stomach, the bathroom will be invaded countless times because we know come Monday morning he goes back to that damn school. Some kid wanted to talk to him Thursday but my son had to go cause my hubby was waiting and he just knows it's about the bullying, but the kid wasn't around Friday so I just know my son is going to deal with something Monday.
It still kills me how a 6 2 principal about 270 lbs who works out said my son a 129 lbs who is 5 7 was making him feel uncomfortable because he was telling him how he felt in a respectful way ( no swearing, no yelling), telling him you don't care and how I had to do is job for him.
My son has an appointment Monday with the psychologist and we have to take him out of school 45 minutes earlier. I'm glad my son asked to go talk to someone he needs to vent to not only us but someone else.
He's with show choir which has been a god send for him but today is the last show and no more after school rehearsals for that just the play.
I asked the teacher who has also had him as a student and now involved in show choir to write a character reference for my son and WOW the letter he wrote was so beautiful it brought me to tears.
He mentioned how my son has opened up to everyone about how he's been bullied in the past and made everyone cry including him a grown man. He told my son when my son asked him to write it because someone was saying he was disrespectful to women (the bully) and he said to my son are you kidding your to nice, he said don't think I didn't notice 2 weeks ago when we had a competition and it was cold out and one of the girls said she was freezing you offered her you jacket, he said if anything your to nice.
He said such beautiful things about my son it literally brought us to tears.
So today my son will have a good day, he'll have a good night and then tomorrow evening will start up the nightmare all over again.....
Again thanks for all the support!
Saturday, April 05, 2014
So we get there he wants the officer to come in the room , I said no that's okay we don't need him... so of course he had the VP taking notes again.
My son spoke first, let me tell you something about my son he has been raised to be respectful not only to elders but to authority, he has manners beyond what you'd ever see in this day and age (manners were always something we were big on and showing respect to others).
My son said before we left I'm going to tell this principal how I feel mom, I said you do that and so when we got in there he said how now another boy was bothering him because of the bully not keeping his mouth shut. He said you know (principal) you can say you have bent over backwards but it was my mother who did your job for you, you didn't offer any safety measures and I know you don't care about me your just trying to avoid a lawsuit.
He said you don't care about me at all it's very clear to me and that's why when the kid bothered me in the cafeteria I didn't go to anyone because there isn't anyone in here that really cares or that I really trust. My son even took a card out of his wallet from the superintendent that said about that being the nurses pass.
Principal says to him if I didn't care we wouldn't be having this meeting and your crossing a line in the way your talking to me that is making me feel very uncomfortable and your being disrespectful (now my son didn't raise his voice, he didn't swear and he wasn't disrespectful , because had he been I would of stopped him).
He interrupted my son and my son please let me finish and he said no only adults get to finish now you listen to me.... so we listened and then I laid in and in a very calmly manner because I never want them to say that I yelled at him, swore at him or was disrespectful.
I said first of all my son isn't being disrespectful to you, he's telling you how he feels and how you've dealt with this whole situation hasn't been right. I said you had a student telling you that he was scared to walk around the school and you chose to do nothing about it, you said you couldn't have someone walk him into classes, that there were teachers in the hallway and the officer walks around. I told you I was scared for my son you still didn't offer the safe person, I had to look online and find that my son should of been offered that, I said you going to tell his other teachers you said oh you want me to do that? of course!
I said we asked for a bathroom pass now you say the bathroom pass wasn't a big deal but yet you wrote in a report on the 21st that you issued him one and at that meeting that morning you said in a sarcastic way MRS >>>>>>>> when we get out of this meeting I'm going to write a note, laminate it and make it all pretty! I said which you never did until 3 days later and that is only because the superintendent got on you.
I said another thing my son has lyme and (it was cold 3 weeks ago) I said he can't be standing out in the cold we had a real cold front, he said well you son decided to change his schedule that day , my husband what do you mean?
The bully goes to one side of the school to take a bus so they had my son waiting outside so the bully could get to his bus and my son forgot he had show choir practice and wanted to go back in the building and they said no.
He said well they go out the same door, it would be better if you picked him up near the auditorium like the other day, I said we didn't pick him up we brought him something for show choir and if they are leaving out of the same door it's because we don't know where this kid lives and what bus if any he gets on, I said you should of told us so that is less stress on my son, so he doesn't have to see this kid at the end of the day. I said you should of mentioned this in a previous meeting as this is the 3rd meeting with you already.
I said we're fine with picking him up by the auditorium the less stress for my son the better. I said this is becoming a very unhealthy environment for my son not only emotionally but when my son is in a fetal position in pain with his stomach and usually likes to eat and isn't this is having more of an effect that you know. I said I'm not here making up this stuff this is happening to my son.
I said I feel like a rotten mother because I have to send him to school, I said he use to enjoy coming to school but he doesn't anymore. I said when he was a freshman and you went up to him one day and asked how he was (before any incidents at the high school) he said well I'm not learning anything from my Science teacher, I said how many high school students would say to the principal I want to learn but can't because of the chaos in the classroom? not many...
I said the way this whole situation has been handled has been a nightmare and my son is frustrated and my family is in turmoil because to see what our son is going through as loving parents we're going through it too.
He asked what I wanted to be done, I said well you know he's been told not only by you to keep quiet the court magistrate looked him dead in the eyes and told him to keep quiet, not to get his friends after my son and I mean this guy was scary and it didn't scare him.
I said not only that what is this about a letter your VP wrote on behalf of the bully? The mother said she had a letter from the male VP saying that my son is always in trouble for harrassing people, he said what?????????? I said yeah, she was waving a letter in her hands to the magistrate and telling him that she was going to dig up mud on my son.
I said what was in that letter? They said she requested a report, I said I never received a report, they said the report was on her son saying how many times he had been in conflicts.
They said we wrote nothing on your son we couldn't even though she asked about your son we told her it's private. I said you have nothing on my son, do you? he said no he's a good boy. I said you know a boy came up to my son in the cafeteria and was trying to make the other kids go along with him to get my son to move, but the other boys stuck up for my son. I said that boy needs to be talked to and told that we're not suing that kid cause that is what he's telling people.
I said you wanted my son to reroute his travels and it took me to write a letter to you which thankfully you respected, (the respected it because I said how he was a minor and under the bully prevention bill of rights for parents and kids I have the right to be there for any meetings and I guess he didn't want to push it).
My son said I have to get going to my class I have to research something, so he left as he left the room I told him something I've been saying since all this happened be strong, be careful and I love you ( I didn't care I said it in front of them it's what I've been saying to him, it use to be before all this happened I'd say have a good day , I love you) now I have to say be strong and be careful.
I said how said is it that my son didn't feel safe going to anyone when that happened in the cafeteria, he said well the officer was there, I said yeah like he needs to draw more attention to himself with the officer, this kid keeps mentioning that we got the police after him. I said that only makes my son more of a target, I said you know you have 3 kids I hope you never have to go through what my family has gone through in this school system, I said my son has been out of school 4 days in less then 3 weeks!!!!!! That is not normal for my son, I said you need to do something about this very unhealthy environment, he said well he can speak to one of the councelors here, my son had said when he was in the room, why so that person can twist my words? he said no thank you my parents are bringing me to see someone.
As for the aid from the Senators office she finally called me back today and said I talked to the DEPT OF EDUCATION( THIS IS COMING FROM THE DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION) she has done everything she can do she needs to SUE THE SCHOOL.... imagine that?
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