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FELINEBETTER's Recent Blog Entries

Taking stock: 2 Years with Spark

Sunday, November 23, 2014

Just the fact that I’ve been Sparking continually for that long is an incredible achievement for me! I can hardly believe the changes I’ve made! emoticon

First of all, my initial plan in joining Spark was to get healthier and hopefully, lose some weight. I am very pleased to say that I’ve achieved both. Little did I know that when I joined Spark, my entire life and way of thinking was about to change. I suffer with chronic pain, illness and morbid obesity. It was really quite the vicious cycle: When I moved, it caused more pain, but if I didn’t move, everything got even worse. I began exercising in water and worked my way up to doing aquacize 3x a week. I have lost and gained weight a few times in my life but was never successful for any length of time. What I learned from that was that I could do just about anything for a limited amount of time, but not forever. I would lose a whole bunch of weight and then go back to eating as I had – only to gain back all the weight plus some! emoticon

When I joined Spark, I knew it was going to be different after a very short time. I can’t recall what inspired me to try yet another means of losing weight, but I am sure glad I did! If anyone had told me that I would learn to change my eating habits and learn to enjoy exercise – I never would have believed it. Not only was I surprised that I was able to do it, but I continue to be amazed at how much my entire thinking has changed! I enjoy food more now than I ever have. I also enjoy working out and experimenting with new ways to do so. Spark has taught me a lot about nutrition and how I could make this program adaptable to my lifestyle. The Spark Community has proven to be informative, supportive and just plain FUN! emoticon emoticon

I’ve learned to adapt recipes, and tried new things that might never have entered my grocery basket before. I have learned a lot about patience and the power of thinking positively, and breaking things down into smaller chunks so as not to be overwhelmed. I began committing to do just 10 minutes of exercise almost every day. That was a decent challenge for me then, but has now grown into my doing at least 45 minutes of exercise daily. In the beginning, I spent a lot of time initially trying to program in the foods that I normally eat and I am still tracking everything every day.

One of the greatest turning points for me in my Spark journey was acquiring a Spark Activity Tracker. emoticon While I never saw myself as a competitive person before, having this little clip adding up my steps has really motivated me and helped me to push a little harder all the time. It comes down to the old adage, “no one ever said I wished I hadn’t worked out!” Yet how many times have I beaten myself up for not making the healthier choice?

And speaking of choices, I have become much more aware of the art of making good choices. Making this program a lifestyle boils down to making healthier choices for myself. There is really no food that is forbidden. Portion control and timing have more to do with making healthier choices, especially when it comes to certain foods. If I want to have a special treat, like say for example birthday cake, if I plan it well, I can not only “have my cake and eat it too” but I can do it GUILT-FREE! emoticon I work harder to have the privilege of enjoying something special without any worry of a backlash. That is really what making healthy choices is about. Many times, things come up and you find yourself in situations where you have little control over choice. What do you do? You make the best choice possible and then take full charge again when you are able. This can make the difference between making a bad decision and having a bad day! So I made a bad decision? I’ll follow that with a good one and keep moving forward.

I lost 65 lb in my first year with Spark and 16 in the second year. That sounds bad at first, but putting it into perspective – I have successfully followed the Spark program for 2 years now and am still going strong. I am still tracking my food and exercise and continue to learn new ways to do both.

What is most important: I feel so much better! This is not a race. It’s a life journey. Although I still have a lot of weight to lose, I am in better shape than I’ve ever been in my life! This time I didn’t just lose weight; I built some muscle and gained a lot of strength both physically and emotionally. emoticon

I have returned to school and am pursuing a lifelong dream. Becoming a student, particularly at my later age, presents all sorts of challenges. Because I spend so much time on the computer with homework, I have had to cut down my Spark time drastically. Although I really miss the banter with my Spark Friends, I am inspired and honored by their continuous loving support. I accidentally “inherited” a leadership role in the most excellent Woohoo Jar Lounge Team. emoticon Despite my having to reduce my participation, my friends continue to inspire & support me.

I have moved from doing aquacize 3x a week to doing it 5x a week, along with riding a bike, using a glider/elliptical, taking up yoga & hooping!

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I have lost about 81 lbs & a total of 34 inches off my body. My BMI has reduced by 14.5 points. Two of my medications have been drastically reduced, and my pain levels are much more manageable. I have received more than 40 Gold Fitness Medals and have been credited with over 5000 Lifetime Miles.

While I still have more weight to lose, I am most proud of my consistency and just my whole attitude towards food, exercise and life in general. I am most grateful for Spark People and my wonderful friends in Sparkville! Thank you very much to my Spark friends who continue to inspire and support me. The journey is a much greater experience since I’ve surrounded myself with the wisdom and loving support of Spark People!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

_VIRYA_ 12/10/2014 12:59PM


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CAT-IN-CJ 12/3/2014 12:34AM

    What an inspiration you are!!!!!

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LADYJAJA 11/29/2014 6:27PM

  You are emoticon ! emoticon for sharing your friendship & your journey! emoticon emoticon

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AJDOVER1 11/25/2014 2:46PM

    Katy! You are in incredible inspiration!
What an amazing blog. I didn't know all these wonderful things about you -- I just knew you were a kind and supportive Friend.

You're a champion! Keep up the great work and keep sharing yourself here.

It's a privilege to share this journey with you.

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NILLAPEPSI 11/25/2014 11:03AM

    What a great blog!! Keep that Spark going!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LADYSTARWIND 11/24/2014 2:39PM

    I found your blog by a roundabout...and am so glad I di!! You are a wonderful example of Living a Positive Life, and I wish you all the best for your Journey!!

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SPARKLINGME176 11/24/2014 1:31PM

    You, dear Kitty, inspire me & all of SPARKland! Thank YOU! emoticon emoticon

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DALMOM2007 11/24/2014 9:44AM

    Congratulations on the journey and successes which you have accomplished so far! You're doing GREAT!!!! I truly enjoyed this blog and I'm so happy for you. Thank you for inspiring me to try harder.

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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EILEEN828 11/23/2014 11:19PM

    You're definitely some one to follow by their example. You are a success! Glad to hear also that your wisdom is what I feel too is the way to succeed in the long run. emoticon emoticon

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ICECUB 11/23/2014 6:37PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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STRONGDJ 11/23/2014 6:26PM


Look at all your achievements! Fabulous...just like you! This blog points out something very important, you are living a completely new life and it is getting better every day!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Broken Streak/Broken Heart?

Saturday, March 01, 2014

If anyone reading this came to be inspired -- I suggest you run the other way right now!

I am not a happy camper right now. emoticon You see I have been so proud of myself since I got the Spark Tracker, I have been a stepping fool! I have been exercising more than I ever thought I was capable of! I got the tracker on December 10 and have already walked/rode/swam more than 1200 Lifetime Miles. When I figured out how to actually "register" a streak on my page, (It wasn't until Dec 22) I then started on a daily goal of stepping at least 10,000 steps a day. I have some health issues that I believed would make this impossible, but I've proven it to myself that I am capable of so much more than I realize! Today would be Day 70 in my streak.

So what is there to be unhappy about you, you ask? Well, for starters today, I chose not to go down to the pool for my usual morning exercise because the temperature was MINUS FORTY EIGHT degrees with the windchill! You read that right! Yes - I'm serious! Polar bears are turning up the heat today! While I miss the water and my friends there, I thought I could be content just staying in where it's warm, and riding my recumbant bike which I love. That was when it happened!

I was feeling rather low but thought I'd turn that around by getting on my bike and riding like the wind! I rode and I rode. I have a fan to cool me, a headset to listen to music or watch TV and I was cruising right along feeling better. I got off the bike and then I noticed it: emoticon

No! Please tell me this is a bad joke! emoticon There was my tracker, still on my wrist after I just finished riding the bike for almost 2 hours!!! emoticon

It was real. Because I was stiff and sore today, I did some yoga before I rode the bike and that was apparently enough to throw off my routine of switching the tracker on to my running shoe! emoticon

I added it manually, but it still doesn't register for a Glow Getter. emoticon My streak is broken as far the tracker is concerned. The streak is broken. The rose is off the vine. The feline is disappointed.

The only way I could change this fact is get back on and ride again -- but frankly - that's out of the question! So the only other option is to suck it up and carry on. Right?

"The cat came back, the very next day. The cat came back, I thought it was a goner, but the cat came back - it just couldn't stay away......"

(with special thanks to Cordell Barker and NFB)

Spark on, Friends and stay warm!

P.S. A friend of mine who is going through much more serious things than not getting her GlowGetter today, sent me a pic in my email that made me laugh right out loud!

Thank God for my friends!!

Here it is: Do you think this dog may be inbred?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SPARKLINGME176 11/19/2014 9:42AM

    Time for a new blog? I'd love to hear about your successes! Please, pretty please! emoticon

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EILEEN828 8/4/2014 2:10AM

    Ha ha ha I can literally see that dog eating his way through that slice! You did not break your streak, you did the work right? Done is done.

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SPARKLINGME176 7/8/2014 7:43PM

    I finally get what you mean by Glow getter award. I KNOW how I felt when my first tracking record broke. Not my fault. It was signing in for the first spark spin, (I was on my new tablet & it didn't register, all other trackers did). So it broke my record for how many days I was on the sight. I have been here EVERYDAY since March 16, 2012. It doesn't show. BUT I KNOW! & every time I see that wrong # it makes me remember to check all of my tracker, everyday, records, spark trackers etc. I usually do this on Saturday.

Your support to all of us can be a reminder to you of how fabulous you are in my eyes! Your kitty snuggles & kisses keep me laughing, THANK YOU! You & I KNOW our records, & let's just be happy that we do, ok?

Love & Sparkles,

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DOGMOMMA2THREE 3/31/2014 10:13AM

    Ha! You made me laugh out loud! I'm sorry you broke your streak but at least you did do a heck of a lot of exercise.


P.S. Where do you live? Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

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CAT-IN-CJ 3/27/2014 1:30PM

    Don't ya just hate it when those gizmos try to think for us?
I think it leads to more frustration in the long run.

I've logged into SP every day since I started 500+ days ago . . . . but like others, the spin didn't register and my streak was broken.....

but not really. we know the truth.

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DALMOM2007 3/14/2014 1:39PM

    You didn't break the streak...the darn tracker did...couldn't it tell that you were on a bike? What's wrong with that thing? emoticon

LOVE the inbred dog! emoticon

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CASEYTALK 3/10/2014 1:38PM

    Dear darling Feline, you did not break the streak. Your body doesn't know if you are wearing he tracker or not. You did it! Whenever you look at the tracker data on the page, just add the lost days in and that is your true number.


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LADYJAJA 3/9/2014 1:53PM

  You're the cat's meow! I may have to get one of those Trackers (since I'm really REALLY bad about NOT tracking!). emoticon about not getting the Glow Getter Award for that day, but we all know you're doing fantastic and our favorite Feline!

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DAWNSJOURNEY 3/7/2014 5:53PM

    love you my dear.. and here is to the next 70... you will get it .. I KNOW IT !! YOUR A GLOW GETTER IN MY BOOK .. every day you GLOW !!

love you Katy ,

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BRADMILL2922 3/7/2014 3:57AM

    Sorry to hear that "officially" your streak is broken but you still did the exercise so the streak lives on IN YOU! You know you did it so don't worry about it :)

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KENSHO 3/4/2014 6:16PM

    Oh my dear you made me laugh right out loud with that doggie picture. So sorry about your streak. But YOU did not break your streak! You ROCK!!!!

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AUGUSTDRAGON 3/2/2014 9:46AM

    Dear Katy.....I still Love you, broken streak or not! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KMACINLOVE 3/2/2014 2:43AM

    That picture is funny as hell. Don't get down on your self. You are doing such an excellent job. I am so proud and inspired. And I love you all the same. Keith emoticon

Comment edited on: 3/2/2014 2:43:49 AM

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CATLOVER110 3/1/2014 11:31PM

    Sorry about your tracker streak! The important thing is that you actually did do the exercise, though. Keep up the great work!

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AJDOVER1 3/1/2014 10:25PM

    I know just how you feel! I've got a NIke Fuel Band and occasionally their website just doesn't register my update. I've gotten up to 83 days and then zap! back to day 1.

Your friend 1salmon1 is absolutely right. your streak isn't broken, just the recording. I try very hard not to get obsessed about my streaks. I continue to work hard, but it simply isn't always measured by technology.

You're my hero, Katy! Spark On!

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BLUENOSE63 3/1/2014 6:37PM

  That dogs looks just like my dog without the bread! Check my SP page and look at Red my jack beagle.

Anyway how about the streak be getting the gold medal every week as opposed to the steps per day? After all I don't wear my tracker in the pool and I swim a minimum of 3 times 1hr per week which adds up to 8 KMs when I am done.....so no steps for me there ....

Just thinking a change in perspective might be what is needed!


Iron Maiden

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1SALMON1 3/1/2014 4:24PM

    No no no, streak not broken - just recording of streak broken! Entirely different thing! (I had several days recently when the sparkpoints would not work for me. so according to sparkpeople there's a chunk of days when I did not log in, even tho I did. It bugs me when I see that on the spark wheel thingy but... technology; whatcha gonna do?) Really you are doing fabulous and this little hiccup will just be one more thing you can point to to demonstrate your fabulousness! And you made me smile, too - thank you!

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Start Spending NOW!

Friday, December 06, 2013

Imagine that you had won the following *PRIZE* in a contest:

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Each morning your bank would deposit $86,400.00 in your private account for your use.
However, this prize has rules.

The set of rules:
1. Everything that you didn't spend during each day would be taken away from you.

2. You may not simply transfer money into some other account.

3. You may only spend it.

4. Each morning upon awakening, the bank opens your account with another $86,400.00 for that day.

5. The bank can end the game without warning; at any time it can say,“ Game Over ! It can close the account and you will not receive a new one.

What would you personally do?

You would buy anything and everything you wanted right?

Not only for yourself, but for all people you love. Even for people you don't know, because you couldn't possibly spend it all on yourself, right?

You would try to spend every cent, and use it all, right?


Shocked ?? YES!!

Each of us is already a winner of this PRIZE.

We just can't seem to see it.

This PRIZE is *TIME* !!

1. Each morning we awaken to receive 86,400 seconds as a gift of life,

2. And when we go to sleep at night, any remaining time is NOT credited to us.

3. What we haven't lived up that day is forever lost.

4. Yesterday is forever gone.

5. Each morning the account is refilled, but the bank can dissolve your account at any time WITHOUT WARNING....

SO, what will YOU do with your 86,400 seconds?

Those seconds are worth so much more than the same amount in dollars.

Think about that, and always think of this:

Enjoy every second of your life, because time races by so much quicker than you think.

So take care of yourself, be happy, love deeply and enjoy life!

Here's wishing you a wonderful and beautiful day.

Start spending now....

Addendum: I should have noted that these words of wisdom are not my own but I was quite taken aback when I received this in my email. I thought it very appropriate for Spark because so many people put things off until they get thin or thinner. The time is NOW. - Katy-

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DOGMOMMA2THREE 3/30/2014 4:03PM

    Wow! That's startling

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KENSHO 3/18/2014 5:12PM

    I love this.

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AUGUSTDRAGON 1/15/2014 9:28PM

    Love it!

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SLIMMERJESSE 12/23/2013 3:15PM

    Nice blog. Thanks.

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LIVINGFREE19 12/23/2013 3:09PM

    That is really interesting, makes you think!

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BRADMILL2922 12/17/2013 11:48PM

    WOW! THIS IS FANTASTIC! Really cool way to look at it...thank you!

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MOTHEPRO 12/13/2013 10:42PM

    Very cool!

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AWESOMECHELZ 12/13/2013 7:08PM

    Wow! I never thought of my day that way. Thanks for sharing this blog with us since it has given me something to think about. emoticon emoticon

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DAWNSJOURNEY 12/11/2013 1:06PM

    ohhh Katy .. you gave me goose bumps .. LOVE THIS and YOU so very much.. and it is true.. how very true..

hugs and love girl,

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SPARKLINGME176 12/9/2013 7:38PM


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STEFIGURL 12/9/2013 2:07PM

    Presence is the key, My Love! It is all we EVER have..this one moment...

love you so, Baby!

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2BDYNAMIC 12/8/2013 7:18PM

    emoticon .......... Loved it .......... and glad you took the time to share ......... I will put it to use ..........

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    Very interesting blog. Thanks!

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SUEPERWOMAN 12/8/2013 12:25PM

This is great, thanks!!

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    emoticon Excellent emoticon Very thought provoking. emoticon

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1SALMON1 12/7/2013 4:04PM

    The most meaningful part of this for me is the reminder that we can't assume there will be a tomorrow. I put off many things that would be fun or useful to do NOW thinking there will be TOMORROW... even though I remind myself frequently that that's not guaranteed. Thank you for this! Have a wonderful weekend, too!

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CAT-IN-CJ 12/7/2013 3:17PM

    Absolutely love it! That's the way to LIVE it!

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EILEEN828 12/7/2013 4:22AM

    Excellent blog. Thanks for the insight.

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EILEEN828 12/7/2013 4:20AM

    Excellent blog. Thanks for the insight.

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CATLOVER110 12/6/2013 7:03PM

    Wow, great blog! Thanks for sharing!

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DALMOM2007 12/6/2013 4:29PM

    Wow...I'm right there with Beni....talk about a panic attack! emoticon

Although, I needed that too! Great blog...very thought provoking.
Kind of hits you like the "wow...I could've had a V8" commercials. emoticon


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REMEMBER_THIS 12/6/2013 3:09PM

    emoticon You know when you get that panic feeling?
I just got it!
That was quite the wake up!
A great blog. Thanks Kate!

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KAMINEKO 12/6/2013 11:50AM

    Very thought provoking!

Glad to see you posting :)


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JUSTYNA7 12/6/2013 11:23AM

    I've seen this before but it MEANS so much this morning. Thank you for a great gift! I'm about to go walking. Time and gifts and what would I do...

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_VALEO_ 12/6/2013 8:46AM

    Wow, what a thought-provoking and well-timed blog! I am so Liking it!

Thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart, Kate!

Comment edited on: 12/6/2013 8:46:15 AM

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JAROL7 12/6/2013 7:53AM

    Yes .... and time is best invested [spent] with people.

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BLUENOSE63 12/6/2013 7:50AM

  Holy cow -- how do you manage to be so profound first thing in the morning. That is a great blog!

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DRLMAZ 12/6/2013 7:43AM

  Keep dreaming

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My Overdue Blog

Thursday, December 05, 2013

November 21/2013 marked my first year anniversary with Spark. This news comes in late for a few reasons that I may or may not get to yet. You see I was also going to write a blog about procrastination, but then thought –“Well maybe another time!” emoticon

When I look back, I am amazed that I decided to try Spark People a month before the Christmas season. Not only was it the Christmas season, but we had planned to spend Christmas in Las Vegas with friends. We went and had a great time. I was 3 lb heavier when I returned but knocked that off the following week. Little did I know that Spark had already begun to weave its magic into me right away.

At that time, I was reluctant to open a Spark Page and was convinced that if I just did my homework and followed the plan, I could do this on my own. But soon I realized that if I was going to visit other peoples' Spark Pages - that maybe I should also have one of my own. I was not prepared for the incredible support and inspiration that flowed from this! Also I began to realize the give & take concept had an incredible pay off! The more I reached out with love & support for others, the more & more inspired I became! Honestly, at times it was overwhelming!

You see, my initial plan when I joined Spark was to get healthier and lose some weight. I’m pleased to report that I achieved both. emoticon

What I wasn't even remotely aware of though -- was all the changes that would occur:

To date:

I now see food in terms of nutritional value as opposed to “What can I eat?”

I have learned a lot about the importance of patience and persistence.

Despite many other attempts in my life to lose weight, I have finally discovered that it’s really an inside job – much more mental than a physical challenge.

I now exercise every day.

I have taken up yoga.

I eat new & healthier foods. (Quinoa with Greek yogurt & nuts for breakfast!)

I have met so many wonderful people who support me sight unseen.

I have learned a tremendous amount from my Spark friends – about food and life in general.
I have learned so much about nutrition.

I have learned a lot about my health.

I will never diet again.

I view my body in much kinder, healthier terms.

I have been inspired to try many new things.

I even signed up for college courses.

I replaced some bad habits with healthy habits.

Despite chronic illness, I feel so much better!

My overall health has improved physically, emotionally and spiritually.

I have dropped my BMI by more than 10 points!

I have released several inches off my body.

I am 65 lb lighter than I was last year.

I have surprised myself with my success!

I feel more gratitude than I have ever felt in my life.

Thank you Spark People! Thank you Spark Friends! Together life is better!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

43MELANIE 12/15/2013 1:23AM

    Wow. Great blog entry. Thank you for writing this, it's very powerful.

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STEFIGURL 12/9/2013 2:06PM

    BEAUTIFUL blog from a BEAUTIFUL LADY!!! :-)
Wow...a whole year!!! So happy for you Sweetheart! WHAT PROGRESS!!!!
And I love the expression of this being an inside job. It is INDEED that!!!
I am so grateful the Universe brought you my way...and so grateful that it brought both of us to the SPARKiverse!!!

I love you KatyMay!!! :-)
stephi :-)

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SUEPERWOMAN 12/8/2013 12:26PM

wow, Katy, this is SO INCREDIBLE! Changes from the inside, out.
I am so happy for you!

Love, Ginger

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KAMINEKO 12/6/2013 11:55AM

    65 pounds! Way to go. That is really something to be proud of. Looking back on the year and seeing your progress and how you've grown is so rewarding. Congratulations on dedication and loving yourself enough to enhance your health and well being. Well done, lady!

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    emoticon Katy. I'm so glad you joined "Sparks" you truly are a wonderful & inspiring friend. Not only are you achieving your goals you are helping other too. Looking how far you've come in a year gives me the encouragement to believe I can do it too, although it's taking me a bit longer I will get there.
Thank you emoticon
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KMACINLOVE 12/6/2013 2:51AM

    Wonderfull!, Wonderfull!, Wonderfull!. You are such an amazing person. I could not be more happier for you. What an incredible fantastic post. Music to my eyes. POW!, POW!, POW!. emoticon emoticon Keith

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DAWNSJOURNEY 12/5/2013 10:48PM

    Woo Hoo Katy your success is AWESOME just like you !!! I am so glad I have been with you on this journey !! Here is too the next year and more Awesomeness !!

hugs and love,

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LIVINGFREE19 12/5/2013 9:45PM


You have done so well, my friend!

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CATLOVER110 12/5/2013 9:04PM

    Good for you! It sounds like you've had a great year!

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CHERYL_ANNE 12/5/2013 6:41PM

    Hurray for you!

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AUGUSTDRAGON 12/5/2013 4:39PM

    You go Girl! Blow your horn, raise your banner, you deserve it! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CAT-IN-CJ 12/5/2013 2:02PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Wonderful blog! And you are such an inspiration.

Keep up the good lifestyle!!!!!!

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FELINA 12/5/2013 1:57PM

    Happy emoticon

Great blog and fantastic accomplishments! Look how much you've done in one year!
Congratulations and keep up the phenomenal work!

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_VALEO_ 12/5/2013 12:55PM

    emoticon There are so many positive points in your blog! Your belated blog was worth the wait!

emoticon Amazing achievements and success! You rock!

Comment edited on: 12/5/2013 12:56:09 PM

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BLUENOSE63 12/5/2013 12:52PM

  Thanks for posting as I was getting worried about you. Look at your list, I hope you put all those in your WooHoo jar. You deserve every happiness in life and conquering food demons etc. will help you along your way tremendously.

Thank you for always supporting me in my Ironman adventures, it means a lot to have someone in my corner when the chips are down.



a.k.a. Iron Maiden

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Experts Share 11 Tips To Stop Fat Talk

Saturday, September 14, 2013

Hello Fellow Sparkers!
I receive a number of newsletters that I find helpful and sometimes I feel I just GOT TO share them! Hope someone else finds this helpful too!

Experts Share 11 Tips To Stop Fat Talk

Fat talk has many faces. It’s anything from “I hate my body,” to “I can’t believe I had cake,” to “You think you have big thighs? Umm, hello, look at mine.”

On Monday, to celebrate Fat Talk Free Week, I shared my 10 tips to stop bashing your body.

Today, I’m honored to share the wise suggestions of several experts from the Eating Recovery Center.

These tips are important for building a positive body image and leading a healthy, joyful life. Because the last thing fat talk brings anyone is health or joy.

1. Adjust your perspective. “If your mom, spouse or best friend gained five or 10 pounds, would it change the way you feel about them? Why would it be different for you?” said Jamie Manwaring, PhD, primary therapist at Eating Recovery Center’s Behavioral Hospital for Children and Adolescents.

The reason our loved ones are in our lives is because of who we are, not what we look like, she said. And here’s the thing: If people are only in our lives for our looks, do we really want them in our worlds in the first place?

2. Evaluate your surroundings. There are just some shows and some people who make us feel terrible about ourselves. The ones who boost our body-bashing and perk up our inner critic.

Ask yourself, “Do I feel better or worse about myself and my body after watching that show or hanging out with that friend?” Manwaring said. Surround yourself with positive media and supportive people.

3. Focus on your body’s abilities. “Our bodies help us run fast, climb mountains and swing in the park,” according to Julie Holland, MHS, CEDS, a chief marketing officer at Eating Recovery Center. “Don’t forget how important those things are over how your body looks,” she said.

4. Get rid of clothes that don’t fit — and buy what makes you feel beautiful right now as you are. “Keeping reminders of what we used to – or want to – wear only reinforces the negative voices in our heads that say we should look a certain way or be a certain size,” Manwaring said.

5. Be aware of what you say about others. “When you comment on a celebrity or close friend’s weight gain – or loss – others around you might take that comment more to heart than you think,” Holland said. You never know where people are coming from and how they feel about their bodies. Anyone can internalize these kinds of comments.

6. Accept compliments, and dish them out. When someone compliments you, how often do you say, “yes, but…”? According to Jane Miceli, MD, a psychiatrist at Eating Recovery Center, our minds go to this place fairly often.

Instead, “Learn to truly hear a compliment and say thank you to whomever gave it to you,” she said. She also suggested expressing genuine compliments to others three times a day for a week. “…And watch your world change.”

7. Compliment yourself. It’s hard enough accepting a compliment. Saying something nice about yourself may seem utterly impossible. But as Holland said, “Instilling a positive body image starts with you.” She suggested making this into a game. For instance, compliment yourself at every red light, she said.

8. Go beyond food and “fat.” Fat talk is usually a facade. It usually means that something else is going on, said Bonnie Brennan, MA, LPC, clinical director of Eating Recovery Center’s Partial Hospitalization Program. If you notice that you’re engaging in “fat talk,” focus on what’s really bothering you, she said, “without using any words having to do with food or body.”

She gave the following examples: “I feel out of control”; “I’m going to be rejected”; or “My life is changing.” Often, fat talk has less to do with calories, food, fat and stretch marks and more to do with fears “of not being loved or accepted in some way,” she said.

9. Go beyond “Do I look fat in this?” If you find yourself asking this question, instead ask yourself, “What am I seeking?” Brennan said.

If someone else asks you this question, consider these responses, which Brennan received from groups of patients with eating disorders: ”I love you just the way you are”; “You are a beautiful person inside and out”; “There is no answer that is the right answer.”

10. Embrace acceptance. The more we embrace acceptance, the more we can relinquish “unhelpful struggles,” according to Dr. Miceli. Often, she said, we wage a war against ourselves and our biology.

The next time you’re engaging in a certain activity, ask yourself: “Is this a joyful activity or a control strategy based on fear?” she said.

11. Cultivate compassion — both for yourself and others. “As humans our minds see the flaws first, in ourselves and in others,” Miceli said. She suggested working to “love more and judge less” and “to see the other 95 percent of yourself and those around you.”

What’s your favorite tip from above? What helps you stop bashing your body?

To read more on this and other interesting weight-related topics:


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JLEMUS1 11/14/2013 11:32AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KIRSTENLYNN62 10/27/2013 11:19AM

    What a fabulous blog! Thank you so much for sharing! emoticon

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KAMINEKO 9/30/2013 10:49AM

    I was checking in to see if I missed something by you since I've been on hiatus. I see I totally missed this valuable post!

Definitely there is some wisdom here. Thank you for sharing it. I needed to hear these things too. #8 is the obvious biggie to me.

Miss you! *hugs*

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KENSHO 9/26/2013 3:29PM

    Very interesting. Thanks for sharing.

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SHIRAZSOLLY 9/24/2013 11:00PM

    Oh, boy! I need to send this to the girls in my BLC23 group! A bunch of us (me, too) gained several pounds over the break between BLC22 and 23 and feel like saboteurs and failures instead of like people who can get back on track and carry on.

Thanks, Katy! Perfect timing!

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WENDYJM4 9/23/2013 6:20AM

    thank you these are great. emoticon

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LILYPAD12311 9/20/2013 2:02AM

    Great tips FelineBetter! Thank you

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KMACINLOVE 9/19/2013 9:15PM

    Great post! Katy,These are fantastic tips I need to remember. Thanks, keith emoticon

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LISAHELLING 9/16/2013 12:20PM

    Thank you for sharing!

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KITT52 9/16/2013 12:01PM

    great tips...I have been working on learning to love my self no matter what the scales reads....


have a healthy day

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SUEPERWOMAN 9/16/2013 9:35AM

This was great.
I am one of those bitches, quite honestly, who takes some crazy glee in the fact that Oprah can't keep her weight off. That is terrible of me and I won't be doing that anymore.

Love, Ginger

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BLUENOSE63 9/15/2013 4:33PM

  Oh wow what a great post. I have printed it and put it on my Race Wall!


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AUGUSTDRAGON 9/15/2013 9:54AM

    Great article! I may use this for a program in my TOPS weight loss group.
I did get rid of clothes that didn't fit, and the few items I kept now fit great.
Thanks for this wonderful, inspiring, thought provoking blog.
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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DALMOM2007 9/15/2013 9:43AM

    Great article, thanks for sharing.

The tips I'm working on now are:

3. "Focus on your body’s abilities" - I keep pushing my body just a little bit further each month.

4. "Get rid of clothes that don’t fit — and buy what makes you feel beautiful right now as you are. " I've been slowly packing up my clothes and bagging it for the next charity pick-up. (Both large and small sizes.) This is a great tip because it's also making more room in my closet and dressers for the new stuff that I'm looking forward to buying.

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STRONGDJ 9/14/2013 11:47PM

    Thanks for sharing.

I have evaluated my surroundings a lot this year. Let's face it, if you feel bad after an experience--why bother?

And #5 has greatly changed my life this year. The things I say and think are so powerful to me and I have no real way of knowing what it does to others. This is what prompted me to adopt my "attitude of gratitude" and the sage old rule of "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything."

Comment edited on: 9/15/2013 7:38:10 PM

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REMEMBER_THIS 9/14/2013 8:15PM

    Well, first of all you had me at Margarita! emoticon

#2 is difficult but working with it - some people you just can't shake.
... and #6 whoa! Do not take compliments well at all. I give them all the time, even to strangers, but nope, don't take them well at all.

Feel like I should by lying down on a chaise lounge!! emoticon

Thanks for the emoticon . Will think on it.

Comment edited on: 9/14/2013 8:18:24 PM

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LIVINGFREE19 9/14/2013 2:52PM

    I think the complimenting one seems to be the best for me. Complimenting seems to be pretty powerful!
emoticon for posting!

Have a great weekend!

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JUSTYNA7 9/14/2013 1:07PM

    Hmmm... I like them all I think. But it occurred to me to not only say thank you for a compliment, but "I appreciate hearing that" without explaining why. I simply need to hear more compliments until I start believing they are true!

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AWESOMECHELZ 9/14/2013 12:52PM

    The one that I am learning is really powerful in my life right now is "“When you comment on a celebrity or close friend’s weight gain – or loss – others around you might take that comment more to heart than you think."

I take the public bus everywhere with all kinds of people and I am noticing that when I help others around me in little ways, people notice and are kinder to others too (well, some of the time). Also I am noticing that when people cut themselves down verbally in front of me, I will say something positive that isn't complicated or fake and people smile and seem to feel it and feel better. BUT most of all, I am noticing what it is doing FOR ME. It is a powerful aspect in my life now and I love it!

Thanks for this great blog that gave me the chance to share with you as well. Have a great weekend!

Love, Chelsea emoticon emoticon

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