Wednesday, September 10, 2008
He got out of his cage yesterday.
It's been a while. He'd been quiet... dormant... gathering strength... bidding his time... waiting for my moment of weakness...
Yesterday he attacked with a vengeance. He clawed at my insides like a cat trapped in a sack. I fought him all afternoon. I kept looking for healthy, fiberfill, bulky things to fill the need but the sirens kept of their song... singing me onto the rocks.
I had no one to tie me to the mast, no oarsmen to row me past the rocks... the mind is strong... but the flesh is weak... it was the Toll House Cookie Ice Cream Samich... WOE be it's name and it's 490 cal...
In all honesty, I only went over my zone by less the 200 cal and for the week I'm more then ok but it's a battle of the mind... this battle was lost...
I will not loose the war.
I know I am not the only one who fights this war...
Tell me how YOU keep the beast in it's cage...
Friday, September 05, 2008
I'm looking for the honest balance that I can keep for the rest of my life. So far I think I've found it.
A diet is not the answer. I've read the quote before, "DIET starts with DIE". I believe this to be true.
It's has to be a complete way of life. It just has to be. Something that you can live with, day in and day out FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE AND BE 100% COMFORTABLE WITH IT. If you can't do that with how you eat right now... you've not found it yet. Anything less and you've started to DIEt
The REAL goal is to MINDFULLY eat SENSIBLE, CLEAN, HEALTHY food EVERY day. If you approach eating this way you'll never be hungry.
MINDFUL - This is so important. You must be mindful of what you eat. By mindful I mean that when eating you should take the time to concentrate ON eating. Plate your food. Sit down. Eat it. Think about each bite. Revel in every sensation of eating. Why? Being mindful give you purpose. It slows you down. Makes you think about every bite... and gives your tummy time to send the message... HEY! I'm Full! Be mindful.
SENSIBLE - I'm 42 years old. I will NOT deprive myself. If I want A cookie (notice I said "A"), or I want A bowl of ice cream (again.. that "A") then dog gone it... I'm going to. My "SENSIBLE" 1/2 cup of ice cream isn't going to make me fat again... but eating a pint every day will. I have to live. I will not deprive myself, but I will be SENSIBLE about what I put in my face.
CLEAN - I've also cut the vast majority of processed foods out of my general eating habits. I've found that most processed food have horrific amounts of salt etc in them. If you can't pick it off a bush or tree, pull it out of the ground or cut it off of an animal, it has no business being in your body. I'm not perfect with this... but again... I am only human... see SENSIBLE.
HEALTHY - Here is where Spark is really helping me. By letting me look at what's going in the one end it's helping me make better and better choices each day as to what I eat. 1 eat 6 times a day. Breakfast - Snack - Lunch - Snack - Dinner - Snack. You can see from my log how this goes for me. On average a snack is 100-150 cal and meal is 300-400ish... and I try to keep in my overall range. This REALLY helped me a lot. Before I would skip breakfast, not eat till 12... gorge on Chili's Asian Wings (about 1800 cal), eat a few packs of Gems outa the snack machine (800 more), eat some outrages dinner and then finish it off with cereal or Ice Cream later... And wonder why I was fat... by eating how I do now... I never get TOO hungry (A trigger point for me).
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Today was a rest day for me.
On Thursdays I spend my whole day doing 5 min circuits between steam, dry and pool.
Well, for the last few weeks there has been a lady down in our pool doing water jogging. She's down in that pool, without fail, each morning.
Now me... being quite gregarious... have spoken with her on several occasions and she is a wonderfully nice lady. Now she is quite large. About 5'5" and about 330 lbs or so but from my conversations with her I've learned that she's lost over 40 lbs already and it trying very hard to make real change in her life and with 40 pounds already down is well on her way to a good beginning. (I told her about SparkPeople.com BTW)
(Jumps up on soap box)
Now... that all being said... Today I'm in one of my pool circuits and a guy is just getting out of the pool from having swam in one of the other lanes and says to me... now here this...
"She's so big, with her jumping up and down like that is making tidal waves across the whole pool. It's like trying to swim in a tsunami... "
I was absolutely aghast.
I think he could see it in my face because he quickly followed up with "Oh, I was just trying to make a joke..."
I told him "Really? I'm proud of her. She's trying to make an honest change in her life. She's lost over 40 pounds already. I, myself, would be ashamed to even THINK something like that, let alone say it to SOMEONE ELSE."
"Well I'VE never had problems with MY weight like that..." he said...
"Well, say a prayer to the lord tonight that you never do."
In the end... there are a lot of blind, callus people out there in the world. I hope this one thinks hard about just how hurtful words like that can really be.
(steps off of soap box)
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Well... That wasn't as bad as I thought.
I thought I'd blown it tonight. We went out with a friend and end up in Waffle House and I broke down and had half a waffle. I knew I was close to my limit for the day and wonder of wonders... I didn't go over the top.
Sigh... I don't feel so bad now.
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