Tuesday, July 10, 2012
This is really hard to admit, and I'd probably much rather keep it to myself, but I need to get it out of me and out there in some way.
Two years ago, I was 150 pounds, the lowest body weight I've ever been. Now, I'm 220 pounds, right where I started from on my last attempt. In two years, I've gained 70 pounds. It goes without saying, but that's an awful lot of weight.
About two years ago, I injured my knee and spent almost three months barely able to leave my room. It was very difficult for me to get back into a workout habit, especially if my knee flared up again if I worked just a little too hard. My diet started slacking, my activity plummeted, my clothes started to get too tight, and my self-esteem all but disappeared.
I keep telling myself that I can do this a second time, but it's a daunting thought. I didn't have to deal with the idea that I gained all the weight back--that I "failed"--the first time.
But these last two years are NOT solely defined by all the weight I gained. My one-year marriage anniversary is next Saturday (and I still have great stories about wearing my wedding dress on a public bus). I gained a second family who I'm so lucky to be so close to, even if they're so far away. I faced my fears of travelling alone. I started college, and am very pleased with my 3.76 GPA. I made a small group of close friends, and reconnected with old ones. I learned some Mandarin (去年, 我在学院学
20064;汉语!) I read more books in the last year than I might have for my entire life. I have a spouse, parents, friends, in-laws, and a dog who all want me to succeed (the dog can perceive the happiness in my success, at least).
I didn't fail; this is just a bump in the road.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
I've been dealing with a slightly severe case of patellar tendinitis (aka jumper's knee) for about 4 weeks so far. When my knee started to hurt so bad that I almost wanted to cry on my ordinary walk home, it was time to go to the doctor. He prescribed two weeks of rest and some Advil for the pain. It was kind of a bummer, but I sucked it up, got my butt in bed, caught up on some TV shows, played my PS2, and read the first five Harry Potter books. Flash forward three weeks later and I'm in pain all over again. Went back to the doctor, and now I'm in a brace for 4-6 weeks. This is where things started to crumble. I started saying "Why me? All I really do anymore is walk, why do I have an INJURY? This isn't FAIR!" To make matters worse, I started eating because I was bored, or sad, or angry, instead of being hungry. Since I mainly use Sparkpeople to track my fitness, I pretty much stopped using it at all. I thought it wasn't worth counting the short walks and Wii Sports I was doing for cardio, since it wasn't "real exercise."
Well, I'm sick of feeling sorry for myself! I'm injured, not dead. So here are my goals for now:
- Track all physical activity, it's all "real"
- Only eat when hungry
- Don't push it!
Saturday, May 01, 2010
Saved $2.50 and burnt calories by walking one way instead of of taking the bus both ways today. Yipee!
Friday, April 30, 2010
Broiled my chicken burger instead of frying it. Slow day today,
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
I finally emptied my damn suitcase!
So, for the ever-curious, I spent three months in California with my boyfriend and his family and, for those three months, I lived out of my suitcase. When I came back home, I continued to live out of my suitcase! Maybe it's psychobabble, but I think that keeping the suitcase around made me feel like I was still in California with the person I love most. But now it's in the closet, my clothes are in the drawers (or washer right now), and I'm pretty sure it's for the better.
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