Ambushed!

Friday, February 18, 2011

Today was Zumba class in Fangfacekitty's empire and since laundry had not been done and a reward was in order for defeating the evil Scale Gremlins on Monday, new workout clothes were purchased at Target during lunch.

Fangfacekitty was feeling secure in her earlier victory. Misguided Girl Scout Cookies - who had run for the hills to continue the fight as guerrilla cookies - were being captured and consumed at a respectable pace of 2 per day. The evil Scale Gremlins were in full retreat.

Or so it appeared.

mercenaries from the Kingdom of Subway had laid an ambush for the unwary. Raspberry Cheesecake Cookies attacked as soon as Fangfacekitty walked in the door.

Fangfacekitty was outnumbered. So Fangfacekitty pretended to be swayed, purchased the mercenary Raspberry Cheesecake cookies and drove off back to her place of employment.

The evil Scale Gremlins, who had hired the mercenaries, were undoubtedly rejoicing from their banishment in the land of the Freakishly Thin Supermodels who Claim to Never Exercise and Eat only Whoppers and Pizza yet Never Gain Weight.

But Fangfacekitty was smarter than that. Once surrounded by allies the

mercenaries were quickly arrested and placed into solitary confinement to soften them up for their forthcoming interrogation session.

Fangfacekitty's best interrogator, Sergeant Pre-Teen Daughter, was called in from the field. The mercenaries were handed over to Sgt. Daughter who was able to learn that the mercenaries were For a Limited Time Only! as the evil Scale Gremlins' funds were limited. Forewarned is forearmed and Fangfacekitty shan't be sending aid to the Kingdom of Subway in the near future.

Current score:
Fangfacekitty: 3
Scale Gremlins: 1

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AWOOD1973 2/23/2011 3:25AM

Wow! You are a phenomenal storyteller, and I love it! Way to go with your score against the scale gremlins!!! :) I salute you!! We are selling girl scout cookies through my 6 year old's troop, and I have yet to put my name on that order form!! Report Inappropriate Comment

YAGERMONSTER 2/21/2011 4:40AM

This is good stuff, it kept me smiling the whole time. Keep on posting the good work you do. :D Report Inappropriate Comment

MCJULIEO 2/20/2011 9:53AM

Onward! Upward! Excelsior! Yo u GO, FFK! Report Inappropriate Comment

JUSTBIRDY 2/19/2011 3:56PM

Hey Gremlins: All your base are belong to us. You have no chance to survive make your time. Report Inappropriate Comment

BELTONWALKER66 2/19/2011 10:01AM

Great Blog! Thank goodness the Girl Scout Cookies have disappeared from our house at least for another year! Keep on battling those demons! Report Inappropriate Comment

VYVIENN 2/19/2011 5:10AM

LOL! I just love your war stories!! Report Inappropriate Comment

TERRBEAR12 2/18/2011 8:44PM

Fangkitty, I salute you. You have come through combat with valor. The crumbs on you fatigues prove how close you came to being hit by the enemy. Congratulations. Sgt. Daughter, will be receiving the Medal of Courage for calling on you and helping you defeat those nasty foes. Good parenting shows. Report Inappropriate Comment

Stupid dog

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Right now I'm (not) seriously considering killing the dog. I live in Michigan, it's winter. Yes it is cold outside and yes we have snow. But that is not a reason to pee on my carpet!!! Stupid dog barks at everything else under the sun but won't bark if he has to go to the bathroom. I let him out several times before bed, stupid dog doesn't like peeing in the snow apparently and saves it for my carpet. I did not want to HAVE to replace my carpet this year, it was not in my plan or budget. Stupid dog.

I'm getting baby gates today & stupid dog is going to be spending his nights in the kitchen from now on.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ASEXYWITCH 2/17/2011 3:21PM

Oh boy, been there done that, and have to say I still miss my Doggies. I had to find homes for them once I had my Son. My neighbor has a dog that when it walks outside on the snow it literally cries like a baby, so she has to carry him to a spot then carry him back. The things we do for our children and pets! ;) Report Inappropriate Comment

DOGSTARDADDY 2/16/2011 5:06PM

jeez.. sounds like My house. Stupid Moxie barks at everything. Tho the reason we got her was because some jackhole broke into the house while prettysundress and red tornado were home.. so I guess it's what we asked for. But still... Report Inappropriate Comment

NURSESUSIE51 2/16/2011 12:55PM

I'm a cat person, too! I've always thought a puppy would be fun, but then I realize I DON'T want to get awakened in the night to go out, especially in all the snow we've had this year. Good Luck!! Report Inappropriate Comment

KMG3366 2/16/2011 11:32AM

Try just shampooing the carpet. It's a whole lot cheaper than replacing the carpet and works just as well. I've had to do it before with my dog. Report Inappropriate Comment

SKYGLIDER1 2/16/2011 8:23AM

You, like us, must have tons of snow. I have the ability to snow blow a few trails in the yard. The dogs (mutt & lab)do use these trails.I also walk my dogs a mile daily. I've been lucky, as most days they take this opportunity to re-mark every spot that some other dog has marked. Take the water away about 6pm, walk him & see how he does before bedtime. Give him a reward when he does his job outside. Just like little kids, reinforcements work in re-teaching/supporting a behavior.Good Luck! Report Inappropriate Comment

RUN-KIM-RUN 2/16/2011 6:33AM

Don't know if this would help or make it worst...you buy doggie Pee Pads for potty training if he needs to pee maybe he would use that and not the carpet.... Report Inappropriate Comment

FANGFACEKITTY 2/16/2011 6:27AM

Stupid dog is why I'm a cat person! Report Inappropriate Comment

VYVIENN 2/16/2011 6:18AM

Awww, poor stupid dog! Our guys love snow, but the deepest they've ever seen was (nearly) up to my knees, and they're big boys. I like the suggestion to dig out a spot, that might help. Oh, and you would've loved Max as a puppy, he was SO hard to housetrain! I swear he'd be playing and suddenly stop and just wee in the air. I don't think he understood what was happening... big dummy. Now he can hold it forever. Report Inappropriate Comment

FABULOUSIN2011 2/16/2011 6:06AM

I know what you mean (live in Michigan as well), our dogs will even go outside for 5-7 minutes and then come in and pee and poop! I am not impressed one bit by dogs right now. Hopefully it will get better =]. Report Inappropriate Comment

SWEETYOUNGTHING 2/16/2011 6:01AM

dig a spot out for him to pee in. Hard to understand how they think! My husband blew open a path around our house for our dog to pee/poop along and she still insists on walking through the deeper snow to go to the bathroom (at least it's not in the house!) Good luck :-) Report Inappropriate Comment

Scale War: The Battle of the Cookies

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

In January the evil Scale Gremlin empire made an incursion against Fangfacekitty’s resolve. This brief border violation was quickly and decisively repelled and the Scale Gremlins retreated, using the excuse that one of them had merely misread the map during standard military maneuvers.

All was quiet for a month. Fangfacekitty celebrated her victory as it appeared the Gremlins had learned their lesson and were off hiding, licking their wounds.

Alas, the Gremlins were planning a new attack. Quickly training an elite force they launched a diversionary feint, sending in their favorite sons, the Pumpkin White Chocolate Chip Cookie brigade, as a peace offering between the two empires.

Catching Fangfacekitty unawares the evil Scale Gremlins scored a victory! Fangfacekitty gained 2 pounds. The evil Scale Gremlins rejoiced.

Being creatures of habit they tried the same tactic again. The gauntlet had been thrown down and Fangfacekitty knew it was war. She held them off and turned to her allies.

But the Gremlins were resourceful and had allies of their own, the Misguided Girl Scout Cookies. Coordinated by the Gremlins, Fangfacekitty and her allies faced simultaneous attacks by Misguided Girl Scout Cookies’ armies of Samoas, Thin Mints and Peanut Butter Patties.

Under siege the allies could spare no support for Fangfacekitty as they fought to hold their own borders inviolate.

Realizing lives were at stake Fangfacekitty took 2 prisoners. Under threats of torture the Samoas revealed the Gremlins’ battle plans. Not being a signatory to the Geneva Convention Fangfacekitty ate the prisoners once all information was extracted from them. And Fangfacekitty rejoiced because damn, they were good.

But Fangfacekitty was now privy to what was coming next. The Pumpkin White Chocolate Chip Cookie brigade had regrouped and was planning an ambush for that evening. Quickly instituting a draft Fangfacekitty’s legions of vegetables, exercise videos and Wii games were whipped into shape by the cagey General Treadmill. Spark Friends and Size 12 pants lined the parade route cheering encouragement as Fangfacekitty’s army marched off to the battle.

With a sneaky flank attack the Gremlins thought they would win. It certainly looked that way when the brothers Colonels Wii Remote and Wii Nunchuck were discovered to be collaborators, sabotaging Rhythm Parade to cause the lowest scores ever recorded in Fangfacekitty’s empire.

The troops, however, were loyal and brought down the collaborators, forcing Colonel Wii Remote to undergo battery replacement while Colonel Wii Nunchuck watched.

Fighting became vicious. Thin Mints and Samoas were devoured by ravaging packs of teenagers. With Turtle the Cat scouting enemy positions from her aerial post on top of the refrigerator Munchie the Dog lived up to his name and munched 3 of the Pumpkin White Chocolate Chip Cookie brigade, causing the rest to flee for their lives.

The battle waged throughout the night, until finally….Victory! Survivors were rounded up into prison camps, awaiting execution by 8th grade Social Studies teacher. With their forces captured or in retreat the evil Scale Gremlins seek asylum in the land of Freakishly Thin Supermodels who Claim to Never Exercise & Only Eat Pizza & Whoppers yet Never Gain Weight.

Fangfacekitty rejoices yet knows she must remain ever vigilant. Enemy soldiers escaped capture and vow to continue the fight. They hide in the freezer and have infiltrated the allies and will attempt the Ambush of Coworkers’ Community Food Offerings. The draft remains in effect, until the last of the Evil Scale Gremlins and Misguided Girl Scout Cookies have been defeated and consumed.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MCJULIEO 2/15/2011 8:37AM

Most. Decisive. Battle. Of the Day. YOU GO, GIRL! Report Inappropriate Comment

VYVIENN 2/15/2011 7:24AM

I have tears in my eyes, I'm laughing so hard! Good for you!! The only thing that manages to save me from the evil Thin Mint ninjas is the fact that plenty of other people seem to require their services and they don't stick around for me. Report Inappropriate Comment

FERRETLOVER1 2/15/2011 7:01AM

Really clever blog! Go, Fangfacekitty - you CAN defeat the enemy! Report Inappropriate Comment

The scale gremlins are not amused

Monday, February 14, 2011

A few days ago I mentioned in my blog that I defeated the scale gremlins in vicious hand to hand combat, thereby overcoming my mini-plateau and continuing my downward journey on the scale.

Apparently scale gremlins can read and they were not amused by the publication of their defeat. They have returned and made my scale show a 2 lb. weight gain.

I am not amused. I can "hear" them taunting me, doing their little weight gain dance..."those cookies are so GOOOOOOOD, have a few more!"

The gauntlet has been thrown down, this means war.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MCJULIEO 2/14/2011 11:39AM

Agree with ANIMEGRL97; Time to kick some scale gremlin hiney! Report Inappropriate Comment

TINKSMOM1 2/14/2011 9:39AM

Scale gremlins are the worst Attack with veggies and karate kicks! Thanks for naming that mysterious thing that attacks my scale...I swear when I weigh myself, there is "something" stepping on the scale with me.... Report Inappropriate Comment

GETNHEALTHY4ME 2/14/2011 6:38AM

You can take em!! Report Inappropriate Comment

VYVIENN 2/14/2011 6:01AM

Mwahahaaaa, go get those little bastards!!!! Where is that ogremoticon when you need it!?! Report Inappropriate Comment

DDBRENNE 2/14/2011 5:49AM

LOL This is funny. Maybe if you do a scarifice in their name, you know like offer up the cookies to the Ogre of the trashbin. Report Inappropriate Comment

To eat or not to eat?

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Should this even be a question?

Obviously we need to eat to live. Many people eat too little because of poverty, sickness, famine, etc., through no fault of their own.

And many people eat too much. That is why we end up here after all.

A good portion of my weight gain over the years has been because I like food. Quite simply I like to eat, I enjoy the food and I enjoy the act of eating. I never really paid attention to portion sizes. A typical bowl of cereal for me was actually 2 servings....and many times I would go back and have a second (2 serving) bowl. Every meal was like that.

And I am also an emotional eater. Bored = eat. Upset = eat. Happy = eat. You get the idea.

So today when I read VYVIENN's blog mentioning that she wasn't getting the minimum calories according to her tracker I decided to post the question.

Because since I've started here I've reached my MINIMUM daily calories maybe 3 times. 3 times in 42 days. I'm doing the right things (I think). I exercise daily, 30 minutes at a minimum, usually more. I track everything I eat including gum and condiments. If it passes my lips I write it down. I track all my nutrients, vitamins & minerals and make sure I'm getting at least the minimum of most of them, most days. Or coming really close.

I don't obsess over whether something is low fat, I don't avoid any foods. I eat what I want and like. BUT.....I measure everything and keep a tight watch on portion sizes. I eat 3 meals a day & 1-2 snacks. I eat only when I'm hungry and I stop eating when I'm full. This is what I need to train myself to do to make a true lifestyle change and make this the LAST time I have to lose weight. I want off of the roller coaster.

I quite simply cannot make myself eat more just to eat more to bump up the calories to the minimum level. So I've been losing weight at a pretty fast clip, 23 lbs in 42 days.

I don't know if ultimately this is good or bad. I feel great, better than I have in a long time. I have more energy, I sleep better, I enjoy most of the exercise I do (nothing will ever make me like the treadmill or running in general though! Or pushups, I despise pushups!). So I think I am doing something right.

Does any one else have trouble reaching their minimum calorie level each day?

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TABUKRA69 2/12/2011 1:33PM

Last time I was here on sparkpeople I hardly ever managed to reach my min calorie goal and this time I decided to experiment a little. Change how many lbs a week I wanted to loose and wow what a difference. Just by changing 1lb a week my calories went from a min intake of 2400 calories a day to 1900 calories a day. I don't want to loose the 150lbs + that I have too quickly or I will end up just putting it straight back on again. I wont however eat more just to reach that min calorie goal. If I feel full I will stop, now I expect when I start exercising that I may reach that min calorie goal and as I loose weight I wont need to eat so many calories. Great blog post and a very good question to ask. Report Inappropriate Comment

VYVIENN 2/12/2011 1:33PM

See, that is a good question... my "allowance" of 1505 calories is based purely on my BMR, so not even factoring in that I work out five times a week. I'm a touch worried because Jillian Michaels wants the followers of her "Making the Cut" diet to stick to that minimum in order to avoid a drop in energy. I've been having a hard time losing weight for a few weeks now, so I wonder if it's because I'm not getting enough to burn. Then there's my husband who claims that he's had excellent results eating right around 1000 cals and working out, without ever feeling hungry or deprived. I suppose I'll just have to see how next week goes. But like you, I won't make any special concessions other than sticking to the recipes. Report Inappropriate Comment

BKISSEE1 2/12/2011 1:12PM

At first because I am a control freak, I was trying to hit the calorie goals set on here. Then I was taken to the day where I missed it by like 500 on the low end. and it was because I was not hungry that day at all.. I am the same I eat when I am hungry and stop when I am full. Thanks for your Blog! Report Inappropriate Comment