Monday, March 26, 2012
The headline on Time magazine right now is that women are overtaking men as the country's breadwinners. According to the article in 40% of households women are the primary breadwinners, earning more than the men.
I am one of the 40%, even though I am not married currently. I fully support myself and my two children without alimony or child support from the ex. While I was married I gradually caught up to my ex's wages and then surpassed him. It was one source (of myriad) contention; he was not able to handle the fact that I earned more than him, although he was happy to let me pay all the bills so he could use his $ for whatever. For my part (and I am generally pretty good about being objective) I do not believe I ever made an issue of who made more or threw it up in his face; it honestly doesn't matter to me who would be the primary breadwinner. More important is that it would be an equal partnership, where both people contribute what they have and can do, equality being defined by effort and involvement and not by a numbers game.
But I find that a number of men in my acquaintance of various ages are intimidated by a woman who earns as much or more, and even some women who feel that monetary support of the family is the man's "job". I'm not saying that viewpoint is wrong, as long as it works for both people in the relationship. For myself I just cannot conceive of being wholly dependent upon someone else.
For curiosity's sake, how do you feel about this situation? Are you, or would you be, comfortable if your wife made more money than you? Or, women, would you be comfortable earning more than your husband?
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Last Saturday Master N was in town and came to karate. He is a 5th degree black belt in our style and also in tae kwon do, and in jujitsu. I spent some time during class working with him on creative one steps - basically he throws an attack and I have to block and counter attack. On the first one he smacked me in the face. So, yeah, tugging on Superman's cape and all that class left me feeling like a rank beginner again.
Monday I received the internal job offer, which will involve relocating in the next 2 or 3 months. So Tuesday I updated Sensei B and told him we will need to talk about the demonstration requirement since I won't be here to practice with the people who would participate, and that I would be back in July for the test. He said no problem, we'll just test in May before you leave - two months earlier than I had planned.
Today I finished week 3 of the push up challenge - 714 total pushups. 5 sets per day on Sun / Mon / Wed / Fri and 4 sets plus extras in class on Tue / Thu.
Today I also an the Mud Dogs Half Marathon in Mt. Pleasant. It is the 3rd HM in the winter series and my qualifying run for becoming a Half Fanatic. I finished in 2:18, and although not a PR it is 2 minutes faster than the HM in February and 8 minutes faster than the one in January. I'll take it.
This afternoon I had to meet with my ex to have some papers notarized for the kids' upcoming trips. I wore today's race t-shirt and the notary asked about it. My Psycho ex butts in to the conversation, "I don't know why you keep doing these things, it's not like you're ever going to win, it's stupid."
Yes, he said it. Yes, he is still alive (there were witnesses).
I contented myself with a mere "I do it because *I* can" with a very heavy implied subtext of "and *you* can't".
My turn to be Superman!
Say, Jack, hey don't you know
You don't tug on Superman's cape
You don't spit into the wind
You don't pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger
And you don't mess around with [FFK]!
Saturday, March 17, 2012
The pushup challenge is about consistency, not quantity or style. A minimum of 4 sets of pushps each time, no more than 6 times per week. I am slightly obsessive about data, however, so I also keep track of the numbers, but that is for me personally and not part of the challenge. It isn't about who can do the most but building a consistent routine. Just wanted to make that clear up front.
So my results for week 2:
Tuesday-4 sets, plus extras in class
Thursday-4 sets, plus teaching the Geek Squad a lesson
Saturday-no pushups "rest day"
Total for the week = 598 pushups, a new phone, free screen protector & application, and a Best Buy gift card.
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Best Buy: 0
My daughter dropped of the phone for repair almost 3 weeks ago. The repair was supposed to take 3-5 days; they said they would call. After nearly 2 weeks I still had not received a phone call. She went in and they couldn't find my account, couldn't find the phone, had no record of the phone. I both called and went in the next day and they still couldn't find my account, couldn't find the phone, etc. I expressed my displeasure and hoped they would be able to find it by Tuesday. They promised to find my phone and call; I promised to return. Once again they never called; I, however, keep my promises.
After allowing them an extra day I went back in.
The Geek Squad did not stand a chance.
I pick up my new phone after work today.
But I suspect they are putting my picture on their wall as a warning to be extra careful in any future dealings with me:
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Just when you think you're with the program...
Friday I reconnected with an old friend I had lost contact with, "Mr. L" who is no longer married either; had some impure thoughts but it turns out Mr. L already has a girlfriend. OK, no big deal, this is no reflection on me. I've still reconnected with an old friend, life is still good.
But Old Me launched a sneak attack and sucker punched me yesterday. Second guessing everything, lots of negative self talk. It's like being married again to my emotionally abusive ex-husband. Mr. L was from that period in my life and is the only thing I can think of that would have triggered this attack, prompting old memories and emotions.
I fought long and hard to get out of that mindset but I just can't seem to shake it right now. Old thoughts, old habits are fighting to start again and I don't seem to have the energy to beat them down again. It took everything I had last night to go to karate and not speed dial the pizza place and eat myself into a food coma. It is taking everything left of my reserves not to go shopping right now; for a partially recovered shopaholic this is the material equivalent to a food binge. I'm not sure I'll be successful, but I'm sitting here blogging during my lunch hour so I won't have the time to find a store.
The little badge on my page says I'm a SP Motivator. I certainly don't feel very motivating right now.
But at least this time around I have the tools to fight back.
I decided I will have my little pity party of 1 for today. I will feel sorry for myself, I will let that evil little voice tell me how horrible everything is. I will store up all those hateful words.
Then I will program my playlist tonight with a lot of very loud & angry music. I will go to the gym for my speed run and push myself harder than originally planned. If I can't sweat this out of my system I will pound that evil bitch voice in my head into pulp and do a victory dance on its broken lifeless body.
Then I will go to Best Buy and "discuss" my missing phone, which they have lost. The wrath of FFK is a mighty thing, I almost feel sorry for what they are about to experience.
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