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[Untitled]

Friday, October 28, 2011

The last few days have been very bad. I'm making my page private for a bit, until I decide if I post this, or leave it up if I do. I need to get it out of my head to put everything in order.

My son has a developmental disability. It can be helped by medication (although the meds are not mandatory), which he took for a number of years. But a few years ago he rebelled and refused to continue taking them; he would palm them or pretend to swallow, or more drastically regurgitate them afterwards. So we stopped trying to force the issue.

There was a noticable change in his personality, grades, and social relations. But not so severe as to be a crisis. He "did well enough to get by".

One of his symptoms is a seeming inability to understand social norms; what is and is not appropriate and why. Another symptom is obsessiveness. In his case it takes the form of a fascination with a subject, which he researches to exhaustion and beyond, writing everything down, until he knows as much as any expert. Some topics over the years have been tornadoes, natural disasters, the Titanic, wars/battles, military equipment, war planes, etc.

The common theme is death & destruction.

He turned 16 on Tuesday. He was, and has been, behaving normally.

Wednesday just before lunch the school called, requesting me to come immediately. They would not discuss why over the phone.

The school received an anonymous tip to check one of his class notebooks. In it was more of his research.

Only this time his obsession seems to be school shootings, bombings, and bomb-making.

He didn't make any specific threats against the school or any person. He even wrote at the beginning of the notebook that he wanted to provoke people's thoughts and conversations.

The school has to react to protect the other 2000 kids there. They went into lock-down and called the police.

I understand that, I really do. If it were someone else's kid I would expect them to do this. And they behaved professionally, with concern & courtesy and according to procedure. But still...it feels different when it is your kid.

They took him to the sheriif's office for questioning. They searched my home with sniffer dogs and forensics technicians. They confiscated the computers and his notebooks. He has been suspended and now faces expulsion from school. In addition to possible criminal charges.

They found nothing but what he said was there (his research). No arsenal, no incendiaries or bomb-making equipment, no "hit lists", nothing to suggest he was going to act on his writings, noting to suggest it is anything more than he claimed - researching an interest.

But still...his writings are disturbing. Some of them are his private journals, which a previous counselor had suggested to him as a way of making sense of his emotions & getting them out instead of keeping everything bottled up. And they are pretty damning taken at face value, although he does also write in them that he has no intention of doing anything, he was just expressing the feelings he has.

They could not charge him Wednesday as they had no evidence he committed a crime; they did leave the door open for future charges depending on what else they found. We agreed to follow their recommendation that he be admitted for evaluation though, because he is obviously no longer "doing well enough to get by".

In hindsight...I should have seen this coming. I know he gets obsessive and the type of topics he is obsessive about. I know he does not understand that some topics are just inappropriate. I know he does not understand why they are inappropriate, and why most people would feel that way. I know he likes to push boundaries. I know his social skills are weak. I should have known that something like this was going to happen. I should have disrespected his privacy and read the journals, paid more attention to the browser history and put 2+2 together.

Hindsight is perfect. I am not. I am not a particularly good parent; I am being objective here, I am not very maternal, I acknowledge my shortcomings and it is what it is. I am better than many, but also worse than many. And I have failed him. Even though I know it is not my fault I could have done more for him. But I chose to honor his request let him work out how to live with his disability in his own way. Now we are reaping the consequences of that decision.

And the other part of me wants to wring his neck for being so flipping stupid as to take that notebook to school and show it to people.

He has been admitted for evaluation since late Wednesday. His father & I are meeting with the Dr. there this afternoon to discuss his treatment recommendations and fine tune his diagnosis. We will have to meet with the school Principal next week to discuss what happens next, and likely appeal his expulsion to the school board. There is still a possibiliy of criminal charges.

We will get through this, although I have no idea where we will end up. I'm hoping he is able to understand the true severity of what he has "done" and that he does need help to manage his disability. But he is also 16, and very nearly legally of age in a short period of time. We can only influence him so much before he has to become fully responsible for himself, and his disability is not so severe as to prevent that from happening. My worst fear is getting that phone call, that my son has become a headline and destroyed not only his own life but others' lives as well. And there's not much I can do about it.

I feel sick.

I feel angry. And selfish. This affects me, and his sister who goes to the same school, and his father. Ex-H could lose his job if charges are filed.

I feel heartsick. This is my son, my first born, MY son. Who I raised to be an independent thinker and to explore his interests and develop into who he wants to be rather than who society thinks he should be.

I feel cold and unsympathetic. We've gone through this type of crisis so many times; it is hard to remember it is not wholly under his control.

I feel protective. He did not DO anything wrong, except exhibit a compete lack of understanding of what is appropriate for school and the probable consequences of showing around his notebook.

I feel the need to smash something, to lash out and find something or someone to blame.

I feel empty & drained.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DOGSTARDADDY 11/7/2011 5:14PM

    I can't begin to truly understand how you feel about all this. You have such a heavy burden to bear... heavier than most parents. You are a hell of a woman tho, and one of the strongest people I know. You can help him through this. You will both be better for it. I have no doubt.

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THISYEARSMODEL 11/1/2011 5:36PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

As another person said, obsession over a subject will serve him well later. Journalism and music are two fields that come to mind that require obsessive tenancies...particularly music, because of the intense competition and odds against making it, and the practice required to master it if one wants to be a real musician.

Hang in there!

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FUSCHIA6 10/30/2011 10:56PM

    OMG, I am so sorry that you are going through this. No kidding you are having mixed feelings, anybody would. I'm glad that your family is getting some professional help too. I hope they have some good insight into how to work through this for everyone. Don't let this situation define your son. We ALL do stupid things sometimes. There isn't a person alive who wouldn't make some different decisions if we had to do it all over again, especially those teenage years. Remember too, his focus will someday serve him very well - he is the kind of person that we need, to be doing forensic investigations or homeland security. He will be a maven in whatever field he chooses & his attention to details will be much appreciated. We can't all be social butterflies - I certainly am not. That is someone else's gift. Think of Temple Grandin & her contributions to animal welfare - thank goodness that she has her gifts & who cares if parties aren't her thing. Teenage boys are notorious for their brains not having developed that ability to see things from another's perspective. With your son's disability, he is experiencing a double whammy. Best of luck with this. Please be sure to take good care of yourself too. You are a gift, to your family ,to your friends (including Sparkers), to yourself & to me. Hang in there Sister!
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MIQUEY73 10/29/2011 8:06PM

    emoticon

I'm praying for you and your family during this difficult time. I can't imagine what you are going thru. emoticon

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MCJULIEO 10/29/2011 4:38PM

    FFK,
Hang in there...
We are rooting for you,
praying for all of you,....



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ALLISON145 10/29/2011 10:41AM

    Everyone has given great advice so I'll largely defer to then... But keep in mind that there will be no charges if he did not act - there can't be. So try not to worry too much about that aspect. Focus on your communication with your son. He needs you. Look at this as a great opportunity to build that relationship even further. You'll get through this - honest! This is close to home for me because I have a son with Down syndrome and our kids netoriously struggle with social boundaries. I'm just hoping to live through puberty when we get there. Schools are hyper sensitive now and it can make things super complicated.

Allison

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GETSTRONGRRR 10/28/2011 8:38PM

    Well this is a very big deal for you, your boy, your whole family and as tough as it is, to me it sounds like more of a wake up call than an emergency. 10-15 years ago not much would have happened. These days, our early warning systems kick in at the slightest variation from normal so that people and institutions react.

You'll find a way to communicate it with your son. Even with a learning disability, he's still 16 and still growing and learning, so there are possibilities there. Our #2 son has some severe learning disabilities, but one of the things SWMBO and I realize is that some of the stuff he does is just because he's 16.

Stop bashing yourself about the head and shoulders about the past and wishing things were different. We play the cards we are dealt to the best of our ability. You've shown nothing but commitment and discipline in the the time we've known you, so turn all that loose on this task at hand.

As tough as it is, there are opportunities here to dedicate some well spent time helping yourself, your son, and your daughter to find a better medium.

Good luck....we're all in with you!


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DOODIE59 10/28/2011 4:29PM

    Dear Becky,
I am so sorry this happened.

But let me say, I do not think you were wrong to respect his privacy; I think that is a very important thing to do.

On top of the fact that he has a developmental disability that relates to social judgement, he is at just about the worst possible age for teenaged boys. You can only pray they get through their "stupid" stage unscathed so they can live the life they were meant to live.

I pray that he is able to get through this with just a warning, so that there is no permanent damage to his future, or his father's. I feel for your daughter; I can imagine she's going to have to develop some thick skin.

And don't waste a second bashing yourself. No one's perfect. I am quite certain you do the best you can. You don't have to be touchy, feely for your kids to know you are there for them -- and that you are doing right by them.

Big, big hugs, and a prayer that this will be dealt with by the authorities in a way that does not make matters worse.

Be kind to yourself.
Deirdre

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GEORGIZ 10/28/2011 3:51PM

    This is an incredibly complex situation and I do not envy your position at all! The idea of charges being filed is both alarming and devastating to my concepts of legality and public safety. Who can judge a 16 year old by what they obsess about (whether they write it down or not and whether they have a disability or not)? I shudder to think about the things I obsessed about as a kid, but for me, that obsessing helped me to work through problems I couldn't understand or describe. For what it's worth, I think you are right to let your son learn to make his own decisions. That is precisely what childhood is for.
Your son made a mistake, he shared his notebook, that is all. You are first hand experiencing just how ugly society can be when people get scared. I am so sorry and wish you all the strength and courage to get through this and continue to take care of yourself and your family.
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APIRLRAIN888 10/28/2011 3:34PM

    Hugs wow that is a lot hope he gets the help he needs, and u are great mom ! Least u caught it soon!

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DZSWEETIE2005 10/28/2011 1:28PM

    I can't imagine what you're going through. Stay strong. You will find the light on the other side of the tunnel!

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Possible speed bump ahead

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Tonight was karate class. At the beginning, before we started, the adults were given a letter. Basically the gym where we have class has doubled the rent (with 1 week's notice)...and the instructor's options are very limited. His choices are to a) double our tuition; b) close the school; or c) raise everyone's costs $10 and hope we don't lose anyone and can meet the rent (and basically giving up all profit from teaching).

For the moment he has chosen option c.

It's deja vu all over again.

When I originally started training a number of years ago I was at about the same point I am right now...just a few months out probably from testing for black belt. And then the Master announced he was closing the dojo because it was getting too expensive to run without large increases to tuition.

He re-opened in 2009, taking space in a sports facility. Earlier this year the building owner decided to significantly increase rent when the lease was up and the sports facility chose close. Our Master found new space in the gym where we are now.

And now they have done the same..

Our instructor said they have run the numbers a few times and believe they can get through November & December. And possibly the rest of the winter and then re-evaluate in the spring.

My glass half empty persona is expecting the next letter to come fairly soon, that the dojo is closing. That's just how my luck works.

I am considering whether I should take this personally, that I am not meant to get my black belt. Fate certainly seems to be conspiring against me.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

THISYEARSMODEL 11/1/2011 5:25PM

    I don't think the Universe is trying to tell you not to go for your black belt. Instead, I think it's TESTING you to see how much you want it, how hard you're willing to work for it, and most of all, your belief in yourself and your belief that good things can come to you.

The bigger the reward, the bigger the test.

Hang in there! You can do it!

Comment edited on: 11/1/2011 5:26:27 PM

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RUSSELL_40 10/27/2011 11:23AM

    I think if they searched around, they could find a cheaper location, and move. Real estate is dropping, not doubling. At our location we threatened the owner with moving , and got a 33% drop in rent. It might take a week to move the dojo, but any rent increase in this economy is foolish to pay. They could find a place cheaper.

You'll get your black belt.

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FUSCHIA6 10/27/2011 9:00AM

    That sucks! Use your power & determination to keep going - I know you have a lot of that. It is a speed bump, not a dead end. Keep travelling the road to good health.
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STSCOTT11 10/27/2011 8:41AM

    I don't think THIS is about YOUR FATE...its more about those who own the dojo. I wouldn't take it personally...I would remain flexible and have a plan B in place for WHATEVER MIGHT HAPPEN. Keep rolling with the punches...everything will turn out JUST FINE.
GOOD LUCK emoticon

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FANGFACEKITTY 10/27/2011 8:07AM

    @1BEARWIFE - Quitting is not in my vocabulary! At the very worst I have to find a new dojo and start all over again, since each dojo will have a different style. It will take longer but I will get there in the end.

What is most likely - IF my current dojo closes before I get there - is I am able to continue through private lessons until I test.

Keeping my fingers crossed it doesn't come to that!

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KAYELENE 10/27/2011 6:18AM

    I'm sorry that this is happening. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you that the class remains open or that they manage to find somewhere else suitable.

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1BEARWIFE 10/26/2011 9:49PM

    You don't REALLY mean to tell us that after getting so far you are thinking of QUITTING????? There's got to be other dojos around so you can complete your black belt. Get over the feeling that it has anything to do with you, and go forth!!!

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IAMWINNING 10/26/2011 3:24PM

    Hang in there. You're faced this problem before and it worked out; I have faith it will again.

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F8CONE8 10/26/2011 12:19PM

    I am so sorry to hear about this but I will say... you need to think positive - and get that black belt.

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LITTLEFARMMOMMA 10/26/2011 10:55AM

    Ditto what MCJULIEO says! You are going to make it! emoticon

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MCJULIEO 10/26/2011 10:14AM

    YOU WILL SURVIVE!

It wasn't the end of the world before, and it isn't now!

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DOODIE59 10/26/2011 9:51AM

    You are going to get your black belt. Period. These are challenges that will fall by the wayside when faced with the FFK Never Say Die attitude. I don't know WHEN, but you will get that black belt. It will be hugely satisfying for a week or so, then you will knuckle down and hunt for a bigger challenge. I can't even imagine what that will be:), but I look forward to hearing about it:)

Keep the faith --
Deirdre

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FUNKY5RED 10/26/2011 9:50AM

    I'm sorry this is happening. I don't see it as meaning you aren't supposed to get your black belt. I see that you are making it a goal and working through all the roadblocks to get it. You didn't give up before and do not need to now. It just may not be the path or timing that you planned. Don't give up.

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INIT2LIVEIT 10/26/2011 6:59AM

    Bummer, of course it might not happen this time around, but that must also be tough for the master who seems to try again and again to make a go of it.

No reflection on what you should or shouldn't be doing, just another sign of the times and greed. Money makes people behave in not so decent ways.

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CODEMAULER 10/26/2011 6:40AM

    Nah, I think fate is just making sure that you work harder so the reward will be THAT much sweeter when you achieve it.

I'm a "glass is too big" persona, if that helps.

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VYVIENN 10/26/2011 2:13AM

    Ech! No, definitely DON'T take that personally. You've worked so hard to get where you are, and you're ready (or pretty close to it), so I think the black belt is going to happen for you.

I'm just disappointed to hear that your Master has had to change location twice already because of rent! I mean, no offense kids up North, but Michigan is NOT one of those high-income areas where you can just keep bleeding people for money!!! I do hope your school will find rooms that are more suitable for permanent use... emoticon

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WOWEETOO 10/25/2011 11:18PM

    maybe make a deal with the ymca??? or the city local location for meetings and stuff???

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GETSTRONGRRR 10/25/2011 11:15PM

    Not fate, just bad timing,

He ought to make a counter-offer to the owner....these are tough times.....maybe he'll settle for less rather than have it go empty

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APIRLRAIN888 10/25/2011 11:11PM

    Sorry about that!!!

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Voted Popular Blog Post: View All Popular Posts

My life is over, there's nothing left to live for

Thursday, October 20, 2011

So, if you stopped by my blog concerned that I am in need of help and support...you are correct, although not in the way you think. Rest assured, I am not mad or sad or depressed or suicidal; I have not lost my Spark. I am actually pretty happy with my life.

I do have a slightly twisted sense of humour, but I suspect there is no help for that.

Regarding my blog title...

Today is my birthday. And not just any birthday either. Today is a milestone birthday. Today I am 40.

My daughter this morning gave me a big hug and wished me Happy Birthday. Then said "How does it feel to be old?" My son has told me repeatedly that one's life is over by 40 (from the bottless depths of his 15 year old wisdom). My younger sister decorated my car with "Over the Hill" banners. My coworkers over-decorated my desk in the same theme.

It's mostly all done in fun.

Because the ubiquitous "THEY" in our society tells me that I should dread this birthday; that I am "Over the Hill"; that I should basically just curl up in denial; that the best years of my life are over; that "life" is for the younger so I should get out of their way.

They have to catch me first!

Then they will probably wish they hadn't as I am not the self-christened Warrior Babe for nothing! Us old people are sneaky and fight dirty.

I have no problem with my age, never had and never will. I wish society would get with the program.

After all, people don't go on roller coasters for the uphill climb. All the fun and exceitement happens when you reach the top of that hill and start down.

The best years of life are still ahead.

To celebrate tonight I am going to karate; we are having a board breaking seminar. So on my birthday I get to smash things AND, per tradition, get to make the rest of the class do push-ups while I count them out, one for each year (I will accept bribes to either misremember my age or county really fast LOL). How could it get any better you ask?

My ex-husband is coming to the class to be a board holder since our daughter will also be there. Ex-hubby, holding my board, smashing through it and stopping my fist mere centimeters from his nose and seeing him flinch...priceless!

Yes, I know this is not your typical birthday celebration. I never claimed to be a steroetype; a lemming I am not.

And you, my beloved younger sister...know that my memory is not yet gone, I know how old you are...and payback is coming your way in a few years. Thrice fold. emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SHANKI_KIN 11/11/2011 2:46PM

  I read your blog and what comes to my mind is
lets live and love every new day as the heart sparkles with eternal youth.

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DIZZYDOC 10/29/2011 3:18PM

    Great Attitude! I just celebrated 59 and I am certain over the hill isn't for at least another twenty years. Happy Birthday. emoticon

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KLONG8 10/25/2011 4:31PM

    40 is nuthin'! Enjoy!

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SHOOPETTE 10/25/2011 12:52AM

    hahaha your life is over long live your life

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DANCINGGRAM 10/25/2011 12:39AM

    Nice,now that's an exciting birthday! Happy Birthday to you.

For my 60th my goal was to dance at one of the biggest Clubs in the US,Club Space Miami,with my son. What a birthday that was! Was up until 9AM dancing,to the beats of DJ Steve Lawler, from the night before. As I always say,To dance is to live. LOL! Maybe life begins at 60!



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CAROLINA_KOUKLA 10/24/2011 11:32PM

  Happy birthday!

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KILLERANGEL47 10/24/2011 11:19PM

    WTF?!?! emoticon Life BEGINS at 40! Don't they know that?! emoticon Happy birthday!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 10/24/2011 11:22:05 PM

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MAKINANIMPACT 10/24/2011 7:49PM

    Have a great birthday, wonderful day and enjoy!!

Kelly emoticon emoticon

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MDMARSHAL1 10/24/2011 7:30PM

    Happy Birthday. Be blessed to have many, many more. emoticon

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MARINEMAMA 10/24/2011 6:59PM

    Happy birthday!!! age is nothing but a number my friend!!

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SARAHTAIT 10/24/2011 6:55PM

    Have a great birthday...remember they say 40 is the new 30! I'm 54 and still feel 30. embrace life!
hugs,
Sarah


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AANGEL3 10/24/2011 4:11PM

    Happy Birthday!!

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SGTMOM911 10/24/2011 1:42PM

    I LOVE your sense of humor!! I'll admit, I stopped by to make sure you were ok!!

And doncha know, 40 is the new 25??? Happy Birthday!! (And at 41, I still love REAL roller coasters and went on several this last summer!!!) emoticon

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TER_BEAR1962 10/24/2011 1:16PM

    I am SO with you! I was almost happy to turn 49 this year, because I have a whole year to prep for the big 5 - 0! I don't usually celebrate birthdays, but for my 50th, I'm going to run a half marathon and sky dive. Bucket list? check and check! LOL! I don't dread getting older (usually). Instead I'm looking forward to all the milestones -- getting my kids raised and out of the house (done!), having freedom to come and go as I please (I'm there), enjoy some "me" time. Life in the 40s is awesome! I'm looking forward to the 50s being even better! yee haw Here I come!!
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DEBLYNN323 10/24/2011 11:57AM

    emoticon...hope you enjoyed your day and priceless moments!

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ACHRISTIANGIRL 10/24/2011 11:42AM

    Happy Birthday!

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MAGGIEROSEBOWL 10/24/2011 11:20AM

    Good Stuff! Hope you're enjoying your life post 40--seems like it won't be much of a problem for someone with a great attitude like you have!

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GEMINIGEM6 10/24/2011 10:38AM

    Happy Birthday!! And I love this blog. I will be 39 next year and it is amazing at how ppl change their view of you based off of a number. I have co-worker in their mid twenties and they look at me like I'm old. Lord. Lol.

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KITTYF54 10/24/2011 10:16AM

    happy birthday. Sounds like you're going to have lots of fun. Now I won't say I had your attitude at 40, but I'm working on it. LOL

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SMELIOT 10/24/2011 10:05AM

    Birthdays are meant to CELEBRATE, and it looks like you know how to do that! I'm with you - what's with the "over the hill" thing? We gain so much wisdom with age - I think the young are scared of it :D

Happy Birthday

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LUEYGIRL 10/24/2011 9:27AM

    Hope your birthday was great!
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MARYELLEN301 10/24/2011 8:36AM

    Speaking from the back side of 63, you are so right! Just wait till you retire! That's when the fun really begins. My Aunt used to say she was "Over the hill, and picking up speed!" Have a great b-day.

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ANGELOO29 10/24/2011 8:23AM

    Happy Birthday!

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8THTIMEUP 10/24/2011 8:08AM

    Hope your birthday was great!

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THEDEBSTER3 10/24/2011 7:55AM

    Right On!!! Happy Birthday! emoticon

Comment edited on: 10/24/2011 7:57:41 AM

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-LINDA_S 10/24/2011 6:26AM

    Hope you had a great birthday! Most of life is still ahead of you!

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JUSTJUSTY 10/24/2011 4:17AM

    emoticonHope it was the best!!

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RICU1952 10/24/2011 3:10AM

    Belated Happy Birthday and thankx for great reading.

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100STEPSUP 10/23/2011 11:24PM

    Happy Birthday! You life is just getting interesting.

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FIVEBOYS5 10/23/2011 11:03PM

  Happy Birthday.... emoticon

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ALICIAT32 10/23/2011 10:43PM

    Hope you had a great birthday!

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MOMTO2TOO 10/23/2011 10:29PM

    Happy Birthday! Life begins at 40!

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SEAJESS 10/23/2011 9:03PM

    Happy fortieth! My forties were wonderful. If there is a peak for women, I think it's the forties. Not that each decade doesn't have its rewards...

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WOWEETOO 10/23/2011 7:48PM

    oh boy oh boy now live to at least 80 so you can tell those callous kids remember 40 lol
happy birthday
the lady mary emoticon

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MOMMA_BEAR_69 10/23/2011 7:11PM

    Happy belated birthday!!

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ILUVTHE80S 10/23/2011 5:39PM

    Happy birthday! No matter your age you are probably fitter than all those that are teasing you!

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TB1480 10/23/2011 4:31PM

  happy birthday

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LOTUSBRITT 10/23/2011 4:15PM

    Happy belated birthday to you! Yes, like so many others have said, life begins at 40... or at least it began at 43 for me. It just gets better and better. You go! emoticon

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45AQUA-MAN 10/23/2011 2:45PM

    Take it from someone 26+ years ahead of you, and I still haven't slowed down, you've only just begun. When I was younger we had a saying, that you've probably heard "LIFE BEGINS AT 40" I think they said that because you were suppose to slow and enjoy things at 40, but at 66 I still haven't slowed down, and it doesn't look like you will either.

Dennis

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1BUGZZY 10/23/2011 2:45PM

    Happy Birthday to you and remember we are like fine wine we only get better with time . emoticon and remember you are emoticon

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NAVY-GIRL 10/23/2011 2:34PM

    Happy Birthday. You've got the right spirit. You are still a "young pup" - this coming fro someone about to turn 60. I had one of my employees tell a couple of days ago that I need to slow down now because I'm "getting up there". What many people fail to understand is that it isn't age that slows you down, it's slowing down that makes you age. Hmmm.... I like that. I just made that up. emoticon

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LORTHOM2001 10/23/2011 2:08PM

    happy boit-deigh toooo ewe! emoticon

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OLLISMOM16 10/23/2011 1:28PM

  Hope you had a grand birthday celebration. I will be 52 tomorrow and the years between 40 and now have been the best! I married a wonderful man (actually my high school sweetheart), have grown closer to my children, and traveled to some pretty beautiful and exciting places. Hang on for the ride, the downhill is definitely the best!

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CHERYLDB 10/23/2011 1:12PM

  emoticonyou go girl, I love it

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SHERYLJOHNSON 10/23/2011 12:34PM

    Sweetie, I can tell you from experience, the best years are ahead of you!!! My life seemed to get exponentially better from the time I turned 40.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! emoticon

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SHE-LION 10/23/2011 11:24AM

    Happy belated birtday. Mad Control on that board break! Priceless! emoticon

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BEMORESTUBBORN 10/23/2011 11:22AM

    A happy belated birthday and - from someone whose favorite birthday was my 50th. - "over-the-hill?" Not by a long shot!

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MARKSTIPANOVSKY 10/23/2011 5:29AM

    Happy birthday...

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123ELAINE456 10/23/2011 4:12AM

  Happy Birthday. The Best times of your life are yet to come.Just remember it. May God Bless You for your coming years and have a Wonderful Week.

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WORKOUTWITHPAM 10/23/2011 3:52AM

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

You are NOT getting older, you ARE getting better!

The BEST is yet to come!

BEST WISHES in reaching all of your goals!

HUGS
Pam

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Gorilla Wrestling

Monday, October 10, 2011

As seen on a t-shirt yesterday...

Running is like wrestling a gorilla. You don't quit when you get tired. You quit when the gorilla gets tired.

Finish Strong!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MARKSTIPANOVSKY 10/23/2011 5:28AM

    Nice thoughts...

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SLIMMERJESSE 10/16/2011 4:01PM

    Thanks for sharing this.

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REBECCATKD 10/14/2011 10:13PM

    Thanks for the extra motivation!

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YAGERMONSTER 10/13/2011 4:01AM

    Great call! I do believe those are words to live by. Thanks

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MIQUEY73 10/11/2011 8:37PM

    Hahaha! Love it!

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DEZZIEJAMES 10/11/2011 1:39PM

    Love it FFK!!! Let's kick some gorilla tail!

emoticon

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KKINNEA 10/11/2011 12:31PM

    Agree!

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FUSCHIA6 10/11/2011 8:32AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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VYVIENN 10/11/2011 2:04AM

    Awesome! Though I'd rather run than take my chances with a gorilla, lol!

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GETSTRONGRRR 10/10/2011 11:13PM

    Very nice...kind of like "I don't have to outrun the bear...."


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SKYFROG 10/10/2011 10:51PM

    Thanks - just what I needed to read! You're the best~

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LITTLEFARMMOMMA 10/10/2011 10:13PM

    That was great! See you next week when I get back from Chicago! emoticon

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APIRLRAIN888 10/10/2011 10:07PM

    lol love it

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Becky is a wimp

Thursday, October 06, 2011

One little cold / flu and she collapses in a pathetic pile of goo. "Oh, we're sick, let's eat obscene amounts of baked goods and stay in bed all day, we're too sick to exercise. That's the only way to get better."

This is the crazy alter ego who wanted to run a marathon after completing a single 5k, who wanted to enter a triathlon even though we can barely swim a lap and who jumps around like a cheerleader on speed, chanting faster....faster....faster when we run.

This last week she's been chanting muffins...donuts...bagels...please please please!

FANGFACEKITTY has had to be the grownup and say not a chance baby!

I forced our backside to go to the track Wednesday. 200 meter as fast as you can go runs (that is half of one lap) with a slow jog for 200 meters...and repeat 12 times (3 miles total)...and our uber sadistic coach made us do the 200 meter run in under 1 minute each time (8 minute mile pace or faster).

If you can't beat a cold...outrun it!

Tonight Becky was still whining..."we've been sick, we need to ease back in to exercise, let's just do a few minutes on the bike so we don't over tax ourselves."

Yeah, right. Don't think so sweetheart. Two miles in 17:04 on the treadmill, a 5k in 28:54, and jog for another 36 minutes. Two new PRs. Now we know who is in charge here, and it's not the fair weather muffin addict psycho cheerleader on speed (yeah, I'm talking to you Becky!).

FFK is back baby! RAWR!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BBAHONORS 10/20/2011 1:58PM

    Can I borrow your alter ego next week to get myself off my duff?

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KAREN_NY 10/17/2011 11:47AM

    You are the QUEEN of No Excuses!

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DEZZIEJAMES 10/17/2011 9:57AM

    emoticon I love reading your blogs. WB FFK!!!

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SDM0618 10/15/2011 9:07AM

    emoticon You go Girl!!! emoticon

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KARENE10 10/15/2011 8:52AM

    emoticon

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JAZZEJR 10/14/2011 10:04PM

    You go, Girl! emoticon

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SM-ARTGIRL 10/14/2011 9:29PM

    FFK - Miaow! You Rawk!

"the fair weather muffin addict psycho cheerleader on speed" - you must have jumped into me- just a minor cold has thrown me off my run training for a week!

I think your strategy of meeting a group or coach to train works, I am checking out running groups in my area for next year. emoticon

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TEENY_BIKINI 10/14/2011 8:25PM

    You are amazing!!

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DISAPPEARING1 10/10/2011 4:19PM

    Love this - thanks for sharing!

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CBAILEYC 10/10/2011 11:42AM

    FFK rawks!
emoticon
C~

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DANA564 10/8/2011 12:13PM

    Great blog!! My alter ego needs to start listening a little better or I need to get a little tougher!

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RUSSELL_40 10/7/2011 2:37PM

    I went the sleep till 1 p.m., wait till Sunday route..lol.
Now I feel guilty. I am using my heart problem as an excuse. Having to force myself to work today. Think the end of the sickness is approaching.

Good job with the way you did it. I was too weak of will and body.

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MJK0430 10/7/2011 12:21PM

    What a great blog! Love FFK!!!

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SPARKCHANTAL 10/7/2011 5:30AM

    a group of centenarians were asked about their lives... and they all said they had worked hard their whole life through. so at this rate you might reach 200!

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VYVIENN 10/7/2011 3:42AM

    Hahahahaha!! emoticon Oh woman, you kill me! Your running group is working out great for you, that's awesome! You're basically on track for the Black Belt then, aren't you?

What I think is totally funny is that EVERYONE in my active group of SparkFriends has just had that weird in-the-dumps phase, whatever the various reasons might be. I'm glad we're all coming out of it, though.

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LITTLEFARMMOMMA 10/7/2011 12:02AM

    I sure like your spunk! You sure didn't take any guff! emoticon

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KKINNEA 10/6/2011 11:11PM

    Whipping into shape!!

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GETSTRONGRRR 10/6/2011 10:32PM

    Good to hear you told the Beckster to take a hike. Maybe she needs a one way ride in the min-van on a Thursday!

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GEORGIZ 10/6/2011 10:30PM

    The weirdest thing just happened! I was laying here (I've been in bed all day with a cold) wondering if I should get up tomorrow and go to the gym or if I should just sit it out for a while. Then I thought to myself, "what would FFK do?" and motored on over to your blog. Needless to say, my alarm is set for 4:30am. You are so obviously a mother because you're such a good example to others!
emoticon

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APIRLRAIN888 10/6/2011 10:24PM

    wow does your alter ego know mine by any chance! great job

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IAMWINNING 10/6/2011 10:06PM

    Ok, FFK - like your spirit! LOL

And I have to ask, (since you didn't stay home today) how did THIS Thursday go? Had my fingers crossed for you. : )

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