Wednesday, May 19, 2010
I watched Biggest Loser tonight and I got to wondering if it is really possible for someone who is already 59 and had stage 4 cancer to get fit enough to even walk a marathon, much less run one. Of course, there is a problem with weak ankles (they twist on about the 2nd step whenever I try to run) and the arthritis in my hips that the radiation therapy gave me. I can't even seem to get up most days other than to come in here to the computer. I wish I had someone who could get me up and out of here, but I am alone. I was doing good last year for a while and got down 15 pounds. Now it is back on and I just want to eat bad stuff. Somehow I have to get back at it.
Tomorrow I have an appointment to find out the results of my last MRI. I pray that nothing has started showing up again. Maybe I can get back in the groove of eating right and exercising when that is over. And maybe, just maybe, I can get so I can at least walk a 5k or 10 k sometime in my life.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Other than diet-wise, since I didn't have time for breakfast and they didn't have healthy options at the convention center.
I went to the Diabetes Expo here in Denver and there seemed to be several new things along with the usual older ones who repeated. One booth had Kim Lyons, who was a trainer on The Biggest Loser a couple seasons ago. Kim gave out autographed copies of her book "Your Body, Your Life" on the even hours and on the odd hours she gave resistance bands and demonstrated exercises with them. Those who got the bands did the exercises along with her and she got down in the audience with them to help some of them with their form. They also had cooking demonstrations geared toward diabetes and also gluten-free diets and some other exercise demos, but mostly I saw ones for the children in those. I also got a cook book that is a Disease Prevention Cook Book with the idea of helping prevent Diabetes, Heart Disease, Strokes and Cancer. Gosh, that is 4 books in 2 days and I didn't have to pay full price for any of them.
I also got in a lot of walking today since I was there for three and a half hours. And for the first time in three years of that Expo my hips didn't hurt me. I just actually enjoyed my day. But even though it is early, I am ready to hit the sack now.
Friday, March 26, 2010
Yesterday they came and put the new roof on the house. I really didn't expect them, but it's good they came then because if it snowing again today. I got both dogs out for walks while they were here (one at a time). My hips were hurting quite a bit, but I made it up the block and back twice.
Today the dogs and I went for walks again. Then I took the coupon I got from Borders and went and bought The Spark since I don't think I could finish the library copy I borrowed. It took a bit to find, since I think we are down to two Borders in the area and one is at the northwest area of the metro area, with the other one southeast. The one I am used to is gone. I also found a new photography book on the bargain books rack.
On the way home I went to look and see what produce they had on sale at the Sunflower Market. I also got more chicken breast on sale. I am in the mood for barbecue.
All in all the day was pretty good other than the snow coming in too early for me to go swimming as I had planned to do.
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Wednesday I picked up a copy of The Spark from the library. It took over a month to get it because I was 17th on the waiting list. I have started reading it and hope that I can get through it. I have some trouble with reading (seeing the print). I hope it can help me. I have started taking notes and trying to figure out how to set up goals.
Tomorrow they have a Home Show in town that a friend and I are planning to go to. I need a new faucet in the kitchen, but they don't make any that will work to replace the one I have. I have to replace the sink and cabinet to put one in there. Boy, did they do things stupidly back when this house was built. Counter tops won't match the old counter top, either. The home show has Habitat Outlet and another Outlet place, though, so I am hoping that they might be able to help me with having low-cost cabinets and sinks. I guess I should measure the one I have, though. There is also some drawing for landscaping and I could sure use some help with that. I don't know if I can even get a garden put in.
I am feeling better today, but I have my ups and downs. Yesterday I got really worried (no make that terrified) that the cancer from four years ago has come back. I know that I am supposed to trust in the Lord and continue believing that He will not let it come back, but sometimes I wonder if what I thought He told me almost 4 years ago was really from Him. I don't think I should doubt my thoughts like that. It would be much better if I didn't. The problem is my gut hurts like crazy, not like a stomach ache, but a pain. I am trying to figure out foods that are easy on that area that won't be too high in the fat and calorie range and are healthy. Maybe I'll go have one of those yogurts that I froze.
Thursday was a great day. It was pretty warm though breezy and I went and saw Fancy. I stayed out at the barn for around 3 hours. It is peaceful there.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
I have lost all my motivation. For anything.
I was checking out one of the teams today and it had as one of the challenges to write one thing you liked about yourself each day (or week, can't remember which). I couldn't do it. I don't like anything about myself. I am fat. I have always been the one everyone calls ugly. I am considered stupid, not because I don't have any brainpower, but because of the way I look, my soft voice, and the way I walk (can't figure the last one other than I don't walk fast anymore and have no bounce to my step because I was told all my life that it was the wrong thing to do). I don't have any confidence to do anything. So I can't.
I thought I finally had things worked out so I could let my dogs both be out with me. That didn't work out. They got in a fight today again. So people will put me down because no matter what I do they always fight. I just can't do anything right, so I have no motivation to even try.
If I ever get any happiness again, maybe I will blog. Otherwise, I don't feel like blogging again and ruining everyone's day. I'm sorry to be so down all the time.
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