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Aunt Edna's Gone

Monday, July 13, 2009

My inspiration for trying again to lose weight is gone. A big celebration was planned for her 100th birthday next month. Saturday, my cousin called to tell me she had passed away that morning. I had just talked to her the week before and was looking forward to seeing her one more time. She was the one relative on that side of the family who always saw me as a normal human being and not a failure, the black sheep, or some retarded, slow brained outcast. Now I don't have my parents or my aunt to talk to anymore. They have decided that her party will go on, but as a memorial and celebration of her life. I might or might not go. She is the only one who would have wanted to see me there, but I know that she would have.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WANDAC2013 7/14/2009 5:28PM

    First off, I am so sorry to hear about your loss. You wrote about my blog being like your life and that you hope to be as strong as me. Oh sweetie, God bless you. I wish I had words to fix things for you because you have so touched my heart. But all of the words that I or anyone else can say will not change what is in your mind. I know this from experience. Thank God for your Aunt Edna and all the positives she gave you. Remember her and honor her by accepting that all the encouragement, love, and acceptance she gave you was for a reason. That reason being that you deserve it. Now she is no longer here to give you those things...it is your duty to do it for yourself. It can and will become habit. I believe in you. You can believe in yourself, too. emoticon emoticon

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TXSPLA 7/13/2009 10:47PM

    I am so sorry for your loss. Your dear Aunt Edna is looking down on you and still cheering you on. I know it will be difficult if you go, but if you do, go with your head held high and celebrate her life.
You are in my prayers.
Peggy
emoticon emoticon

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MOM2ACAT 7/13/2009 6:44PM

    emoticon Even though she is in Heaven now, your aunt is still in your corner, and cheering you on! Please don't give up, I know Aunt Edna would want you to keep on trying.

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ALMMOM 7/13/2009 12:34PM

    I'm sorry for your loss. It is hard when a key person who is such a good influence on you passes on. You have the memories.

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MMEQUEEN 7/13/2009 12:22PM

    I am so sorry for your loss. She is with you in spirit. I hope you do go to celebrate her life, but I understand if it is difficult.

emoticon

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Today was a better day

Thursday, July 09, 2009

I didn't try weighing in, so I doubt that there was any improvement there, but I had a fun time at the pool today. I met the therapist there to get reminded of the exercises for my shoulder problem, which turned out to be considered strength exercises. You use the floats and the water to react like weights, only you do them the opposite direction as weights.

After Matt left, a lady came in and asked if she could have a ball. They brought in a big beach ball and we batted that around for the next hour. I wasn't quite sure how to put it in the fitness page, but I know that I ended up working more doing that than all the swimming across the pool I have been doing. The lifeguard joined us in the ball playing. That was such a fun way to get in an hour of exercise.

  


Depressed today

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

I am depressed and about ready to give up on the idea of losing weight. I did make a mistake on my starting weight, so it shows I lost more than I did. I went down to 210 after being sick one week and have been working to get it down lower with swimming and some weight training. Last week I got down 4 more pounds, but Friday, after 4 days of swimming and water aerobics, I had gained all but one back. Today that last one is back. I have not been going over the calorie limit and only a couple times over the fat limit. I just eat as much as I can, but usually am just below the calorie allowance. I cannot eat many vegetables without it setting off IBS problems. I am so frustrated and upset that I had ice cream (less than a half cup and the low fat kind) for lunch.

Measurements are not going down, either. I am so tired of being like this, and so tired of being sick and tired all the time.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KAT7457 7/7/2009 9:39PM

    DONT GIVE UP TAKE IT ONE DAY AT A TIME.REMEMBER BABY STeps and drink lots of water. sometimes it takes a while to see a loss but i know you can do it, are you tracking everything you are eating? maybe your scale is off i know mine is by 5 #. things will get better. keep doing what you do and you will see a differences. taking a 5# goal and when you reach that reward yourself with something small and when you reach that do another 5#. hang in there it does get better. if you want to talk just sparks mail me be glad to talk to you., emoticon emoticon

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MOM2ACAT 7/7/2009 8:56PM

    Don't give up! When I first joined Spark, it took 6 weeks before I could lose a pound and have it stay off, but it finally happened, slowly but surely.

You are doing all the right things, and if you stick with it, you will start seeing a difference. Even if the weight is not coming off right now, the exercise is still very good for your health. emoticon

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SMILE4ME05 7/7/2009 5:13PM

    I completely understand your the frustration. There are a lot of reasons why someone gains back or doesn't lose over the short term, but over the long term the basic equation (more out than in) works. Commit to two more weeks (no scale!) and if not, then its time to re-evaluate. Also, check your food tracking and make sure it is 100% accurate. Good luck- DO NOT GIVE UP. Whenever I am down my sister reminds me that losing weight is like the lotto (slogan)- you have to be in it to win it. Giving up will SURELY make your weight go up but there is a good chance that if you keep at it the scale will eventually go down!

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KNH771 7/7/2009 4:29PM

    Hang in there! You are doing the right things, and eventually it will show up. I just got off a plateau that lasted 6 months! My calories, exercise, and everything were fine, but it wasn't showing up on the scale. I even went to the doctor to see if something was wrong! She told me to stop worrying so much and keep doing what I was doing. So I did. For another three months. And then suddenly I dropped 13 lbs. in a month. If I had given up, I never would have gotten there. Maybe it will be helpful to set other goals instead of the weight, like staying in your calorie range 20 of the next 30 days, or getting 25 grams of fiber each day. Something that shows that you are getting healthier, but isn't linked to the scale.

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ALMMOM 7/7/2009 3:45PM

    Weigh yourself no more than once a week. Your weight flucutation day by day are not a true indicator of your overall weight. Make sure you eat well, if vegetables set you off, do an alternative. Sometimes we lose weight a little slower - and that's ok too. Don't go below your calorie count. With the exercising, you need fuel to keep it up. Follow the plan - you'll get there.

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WALLACESUZANNA 7/7/2009 3:22PM

    You know we all have our discouragements from time to time. Don't focus on the small picture of gaining a little weight from time to time or eating off track. Look at the bigger picture that you have your whole life to get on track. Eventually your weight will come off if you eat right and exercise. Trust me I know, this weight thing takes a long time. I have been at it since January of 09, and only lost 15 pounds. But hey it is better than nothing. So cheer at every weight you do lose, because it is not easy, to lose even a pound. Good Luck.

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June 29 - Frustration

Monday, June 29, 2009

Yesterday I had lost 2 1/2 more pounds and was ecstatic. Today, not so great. I have gained back what I lost last week. ALL of it. I did eat a piece of cake at a celebration yesterday, but I entered all I had eaten and still didn't go high on my calories or carbs. Walking is hard because my hips hurt, but I am trying to swim at least 3 times a week and trying to get to the weight room (though that was only successful once last week). The next two weeks I will have very little protein because I don't have the money to get anything but what I have here at home. I will eat what I have protein-wise.

Saturday I did have a nice day with friends. I did a cook-out on the grill and had a pretty good meal there. I even kept it healthy.

  


Saturday 6/13

Saturday, June 13, 2009

This morning was busy with helpers here to get my lawn cleaned up. It had gotten out of hand because I can't bend over long enough to bind branches or cut wild trees. It sure looks a lot better.

This afternoon I suffered from another IBS attack. I can't seem to eat anything except maybe bread without getting sick. What I'd like to know is why I can't lose weight when I can't keep anything in me long enough to get any calories out of it.

Well, I guess I will try not eating the vegetables again. Maybe that will help there.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CATHYG51 6/29/2009 2:56PM

  What is IBS

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