Saturday, May 18, 2013
The last time I blogged I set out a real solid plan for myself to continue blogging, to exercise, to set goals and to eat healthy. However, that did not happen... shortly after blogging that one time I never blogged again - I never followed through with my action steps. I could give a million excuses as to why I did not follow through.
However, I know why I didn't follow through. I got distracted. My younger brother passed away a few months before that post at age 20 on 11/29/10. I think up from November till July I was completely numb to his death. It finally set in, in August/September. In my grief I forgot about my health. I gained a whole thirty pounds after entering a full-time therapy program. Going from 157 to 187. It almost killed me.
Then I got sick. With abdominal issues and biliary disease. Most likely from the weight-gain. In 2012 my life changed drastically again. I went from no pain to pain once every month that drove me to the ER, then once every two weeks I was in ER, it went all the way to a point where I was in such critical pain I was in the ER twice a week with about 35 hospitalizations under my belt.
They found that I had a Sphincter of Oddi dsyfunction and needed a procedure to fix my spasming inner muscles known as an ERCP at the beginning of 2013. I dropped the 30pounds I had gained in 2011 by being sick, so it wasn't really the healthiest way to lose weight and it didn't fix my abdominal issues.
Through this year I've had a second ERCP as well as my gallbladder removed most recently. Where I spent 24 days in the hospital followed by a seven day break and another 17 day stay. I just got out yesterday from the 17 day stay after they did a nerve block that stopped the pain in my stomach. I still have signs of abdominal pain, my legs, back, arms and hands hurt which is an indication that my stomach isn't that great but at least I don't feel the pain in my abdomen which makes it that much bearable.
Today, I want to keep a walking routine and eat healthy so that I can feel better and physically strengthen my body. Being healthy is now about more than losing weight - its about working hard to feel better both physically and emotionally.
Friday, July 08, 2011
I do not quite know where to begin right now. I feel a little bit lost because, I have been working hard but I keep on missing goals and telling myself "it's alright," "you'll get it next time," secretly knowing that I'll just tell that to myself AGAIN next time. The truth is there becomes a moment in your life where you run out of excuses, and that moment is now.
I hardly rarely ever publicly post my weight online for all to read but I'll be honest, I'm 157 pounds and 27.1% body fat at a height of 5'2" now, while this is hardly anything to be ashamed of, I am. If losing the fat is going to make me feel better then I should do it for me right?
So I've broken down a program. Starting with a phase one goal of four pounds. I want to be 153 pounds on August 1st. To get there I need to do a few things:
1) EXERCISE. I'm going to be on vacation for a week in August and the goal during this vacation is to EXERCISE. I looked up my hotel, its next door to a little park. I can get up in the morning and EXERCISE. I'm going to do walking intervals in the park for 1hour everyday for the full 6days while I am on vacation. Then after that I'm going to do walking intervals for 1hour everyday in the morning and 1hour everyday in the evening when I'm NOT on vacation so that I can maximize my results.
2) EAT RIGHT & EAT MORE. I know it sounds counter intuitive but I'm going to eat more and eat right. With the amount of exercise I am doing and the number of calories that are burned I need 2300 to sustain my weight. So in order to lose weight I'm going to go on a 1500 - 1800 calorie diet. While this seems far greater than my normal eating of 1200 calories, I think it'll be good to get more fuel into my body but, only if I'm eating the correct things like protein and veggies.
3) BLOG. I'm going to blog how I'm feeling on this journey. I want to succeed and I need to be true to myself by blogging I can see how I'm doing and put a stop to bad behaviors/thoughts/patterns.
So there you have it. This is how I'm going to lose 4 pounds by August 1st. I'm not going to stress about how many calories I burn in a work out, I'm just going to do it and give it my all. I'm not going to count 1200 calories. I'm going to count 1500 and most importantly, I am going to document my journey and hopefullly, GET SOMEWHERE!
Wednesday, October 06, 2010
So with only one week left at camp there have been a few changes. I've been planning, making and eating my own meals as well as living out of camp. You would think that living out and eating my own meals would prove to be a difficult challenge but every morning I find myself getting up getting to the gym, working out, coming home, organizing food for the next day and doing it all over again. At least that is my typical day in a nutshell.
I'm working on making entertainment food a part of my plan and working on always having a plan so I'm not so spontaneous with my eating habits. Friday was an entertainment meal. I thoroughly enjoyed an Protein Style In-N-Out Burger with cheese and no fries or soda. I like cheese so I sacrificed the bun for the cheese and I don't need or enjoy fries or soda all that much so I was able to say no to it.
This Wednesday I am planning to go out for Sushi. I intend to eat a bit more than usual but I do not intend to go crazy with eating sushi. We shall see how it goes, I generally like to get one hand roll, miso soup, sashmi, and either a dessert or alcohol.
Last week I had a few questions that I did not have any answers to. Today I do have those answers quite simply my questions and answers are:
1. How can I control impulsive behavior?
I can control impulsive behavior by having a structured food plan week to week and by planning my entertainment meals so that it is all part of the plan.
2. How can I not feel deprived?
In order to not feel deprived I need to allow myself to eat different varieties of foods I like. I need to plan when I am going to eat for entertainment. Planning is so key. I am a person that needs structure. Knowing that about myself I need to make sure there is always a plan and enough food in the fridge for the plan.
3. How can I understand and prevent the "But I..." and the "F-it" factors?
I can understand that sometimes it will get hard I will feel like saying "F-It!" or "But I..." I need to realize these are excuses for poor behavior. I need to realize that in order to prevent myself from making these excuses, I need to remind myself of my purpose. My purpose is to be successful in a variety of aspects of my life. In order to be successful I need to feel good about myself. Being a healthy weight and healthy overall makes me feel good about myself which will equate to my success. Reminding myself of that will be key in avoiding making excuses for myself. Taking responsibility for my actions will also help in understanding and preventing the "But I..." and "F-It" factors.
4. How will I go to the GYM?
Just like my food having a plan will help me go to the GYM. I am going to join the running club at my school. This month will be spent working up to doing a 7mile run so I can keep up with the runners at my school. By making a commitment to the running club I will be making a commitment to myself and I will have to remind myself of the bigger picture. "IF I go to the gym today I will be stronger for the running club and for myself!"
5. How will I maintain?
I will maintain my new weight by having a plan at all times and plans within plans. Such as the plan is to write out a plan every Sunday. Physically write it down. The plan within the plan is to plan my food and then plan my exercise. Its a commitment just like going to class is. I need to be prepared. I plan out writing papers, this is no different.
6. How will I get involved without food?
I will get involved without food by joining social activities that are active. Such as the running club. When I go out to malls I will use the money I would've spent on food on cool clothes. I will plan social meas no more than twice a week and I will do more relaxing things with friends such as getting my nails done, or going to a spa! Its money better spent!
7. How will I cope outside of the program?
I will be able to cope outside of the program by re-reading journal entries, reminding myself of my purpose and always having a plan.
Last week I worried a lot about the idea that:
I'd like to lose 5-10 more pounds, I don't really want too.
This week I am proud to say I feel motivated. Motivated to keep on working. I found that motivation by developing my own plan. Having control over my own meals and by realizing its not how you start its how you finish that matters.
Wednesday, October 06, 2010
My purpose is to have success in my life. In order to get there I feel like I need to be successful with school, work and family. Starting with school, then work and finally family I hope to be a well rounded successful individual.
In order to be successful with school I need to define what I want out of school. I want to graduate law school. To graduate law school I need to start by taking it class by class I'm already at UCLA as an undergrad so right now its crucial to make sure I get a "B" or better in each class. Next summer I plan to begin studying for my LSATs and then taking them. Next I will apply to law school. After getting accepted to law school it should be pretty easy to work hard and graduate. After graduating law school I need to pass the California Bar. Oh. Yeah. I want to attend law school in California.
Work is actually easier, I don't necessarily want to be a lawyer so I'll probably go into music management or internet marketing to get there I will do internships during school and apply for jobs after school depending on the industry will depend on how well I do that.
With my family it starts now with my parents. I need to follow their advice more and trust that they are right (this is getting easier) This is a day to day event and eventually I will date some and after dating I will find the right guy who works for me and from there I will get married and have two kids. I want to be able to spend time with them and possibly educate them in Europe so I'll need to make sure I'm stable with my work and finances first.
In a nut shell thats my Success Map!
Wednesday, October 06, 2010
So after last week, I've decided to make it my goal to lose 3 pounds this week and only allot for one cheat meal. In order to do this I need to maximize my eating and burning activities.
We can safely estimate that I burn 1600 calories at rest during a regular day (My Basal Metabolic Rate) So if that is the case we can multiply 1600calories x 7days = 11,200calories
I also know following the meal plans 100% I consume 1,210calories x 7days = 8,400calories
So we know just by living and dieting right I would burn 11,200 (BMR) - 8,400 (CONSUME) = 2,800 Calories burned just by eating right during the week.
Now thats nearly a pound. 3,500 calories is one pound. So in all reality we can also imagine that my cheat meal will be about 700 calories. so that 2,800 calories burned just by living and eating will really be about 2,100 calories and since I want to burn 3 pounds of fat I need to be burning a total of 10,500 calories this week. Since I will be eating right 10,500 - 2,100 = 8,400 calories that need to be burned through exercise over 7days equates to a burn of 1,200 calories per day.
So to stay in check my goals are simple this week:
STICK TO THE MEAL PLAN
BURN 1,200+ CALORIES PER DAY
I wisely decided to use my cheat meal this Wednesday night actually, to get it out of the way and in order to burn it up early on versus dealing with its side effects later on. I feel pretty good about these goals this week. I'm also very determined to KILL IT and get it done. I'm also curious to see if my body is more average and adds up correctly. Does 3,500 burnt calories equal a pound for me or not? Only time will tell how "average" my body is right now.
Today I'm feeling really good I had my cheat dinner, made it special and now I have 6 more days of hard work. I also burned 1,495 calories today through exercise so I'm a happy clam. The hard part is going to be to stick to my goals through the trials and challenges of the week but I know I can do it and feel better about who I am in the end.
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