Friday, September 07, 2012
5. What is your weight history like? How old where you when you first 'went on a diet'? Have you lost and regained? How is this time different from others?
Most of my life i have been "big" and "heavy". When I was in 6th grade and 10 years old, I was 5'4" and 124 lbs. I had started wearing a bra the year before and my very 1st one was a 34B. But even in first grade the kids would call me "Elephant". i wasn't real fond of going to school. I enjoyed my other activities, but not school, especially on the way to and from. The name calling really hurt my feelings. When i look back at pictures from then, i don't think I was over weight for my height, but i guess some of the other kids did.
The first "diet" I went on was between 9th and 10th grade. i was 160 pounds and my mother felt I needed to do so. She had me eating tuna on whole wheat - 1/2 a sandwich for lunch. Sometimes she would give me some chicken meat and allow me a teaspoon of mayo and always a glass of milk. I also had fruit with each meal and when in season, i'd have tomato slices on my 1/2 sandwiches and cut up with the chicken. Once in a big while she would let me have a cup of soup (not creamy) with 5 crackers. Whenever I had it, she would add fresh veggies to it. When i went back to school after 3 1/2 months, I was 140 pounds. By the time i was a senior I was 130. I was a majorette and went to majorette camp between jr and sr year. I practiced so much in those 10 days, I really lost. I looked great and better yet, I felt wonderful!! The summer I was home from freshman year at college, I worked at a department store and lost down to 124. That Christmas I was engaged and married the next May. My wedding dress was a size 11 and had to taken in. That is the smallest size i had ever been. My husband was in the Army and went to Viet Nam. While he was there, I was so nervous all the time, that I had a lot of emotional eating. By the next summer when he got home from Nam, I was up to 140 again. The next summer was when he came home from Japan and asked for a divorce. More emotional eating. By January when I had to go to court, I was up to 165. Any way, I had events that the emotional eating kicked in to be able to handle it all. Then I would lose again until the next event!
Why will this time be different? Well, I believe it will because I now understand more about changing lifestyle. I have also learned about emotional eating, which I didn't do when I was told about each cancer and going through the treatments. I really think I have that licked. If there would ever be a time i'd go back to that kind of eating, it would have been then. I have also learned portion sizes and don't deny myself if there is something I really, really want. I simply limit the amount and how often. A good example, I love Coca Cola. Sometimes i would even have 3 a day!! Now I have limited myself to one soda a day. I have either Coke or Sprite Zero. No sugar, no salt, no calories although the Sprite does have 5 g carbs. I enjoy having my seatbelt fit again without being really tight and fitting into chairs and other places I was too big to get into. I am much more positive and don't take anything for granted. I try to exercise daily, but if I can't, I don't beat myself up over it. All of these things make me believe this time it is different and will take.
6. What has been most challenging about maintaining a weight loss (now or in the past)?
In the past, I thought it would be OK to go back to how I was eating before the loss. Wrong!! Also a struggle was with emotional eating. Being bipolar with PTSD, that emotional stuff occurred often. Now that I have been getting therapy, on meds that are adjusted so I am even moods 99% of the time, and learning how to handle the stress of an event rather than eating whatever it is, I have done better this time. Since i reached my goal weight nearly three months ago, I have been able to continue doing what I was doing. The only difference is, I have upped my calories a little to try to stay where i belong rather than lose even more.
Hope all my Buds have a great time this weekend. Y'all mean so much to me, I love each and every one of you.
Peace, love, and faith that all will be right with your world.
Tuesday, September 04, 2012
3. Who have you shared your weight loss goals with? What has been good about sharing your goals?
I have shared my weight loss goals with all of my Spark Buds, on Facebook, my family, several neighbors, and my sorority sisters on line. I felt I had to do this to help explain what was happening. It is a good thing I did, too, since they knew this was something I had planned out to do, the weight loss wasn't totally from my cancer treatments. I believe they also understood when i requested to please not use food to tempt me. My brother and SIL paid attention and for birthdays and the holidays or just to help me celebrate a big goal achievement, they have been sending me baskets of fruit!! Oh yum!! There have been apples, pears, oranges, and sometimes plums.
Something a little humorous happened, too. Each month my on-line sorority chapter has virtual food at the meeting. Once the ladies knew what I was doing they always had something they knew I could eat for real. I thought that was very thoughtful and very cute of them. I always had a dessert on my plate, though, as I can't tolerate them for real and this way I feel I really had some. For a strange reason, just doing this via email made it work and satisfy me.
The biggest benefit I got from telling others is, it has all kept me accountable. I had a friend who I believe was questioning my loss, asked me what I did "now that you are a size 6". Since she now lives in Wisconsin rather than FL, I posted a newer picture for her on her Facebook Wall. I think she must have been embarrassed as she never said anything "negative" again. She congratulated me when I met my goal and understands why I have moved it to 125 from the 120 I had.
Day 4 Entry
4. What are (or were) your fears about weight loss?
Oh gosh, did I fear almost everything when I started out. First off I was afraid of failure. Then I was afraid of exercise since I was in a power chair. I was so happy I found Spark People site. I learned so much about foods and not having to do away with anything, just watch how much of some things that I eat. I have always believed that too much of anything isn't good for a person. I had already cut the amount of meat I eat, so that was never a problem or a worry. It would seem when i would eat meats, especially red meats, i felt very sluggish to the point of nearly passing out. I kept reading and learning here. I could hardly believe that all this was free for members!
OK, that took care of the food part of my fears. The next part was huge! I mentioned in one of my teams about not getting exercise because of being in my chair. One of the members sent me a message telling me I should check out the chair exercise team. I did and wow! That made a total difference in my life. There was so much info on the team page along with reviews of chair DVD's and books. And the leaders! Anytime I messaged one of them I got a quick response with the info I requested and needed. I have been doing so well that lately I barely use my chair or my walker. If we are going out, I usually take my cane if I have to. The last fall I had was over two months ago when I twisted my ankle and couldn't stop myself.
So quite quickly I lost my fears, but never took my journey for granted. I understood that I could easily go back to bad habits. One time a friend had chips and dip out for snacks. She totally forgot until she saw me that I didn't "do" that sort of thing anymore. Well, since I had learned so much about proper portions (which was one of my most difficult lessons), I do have treats every so often. So she and I went into the kitchen. She took out her extra bag of chips. I counted out 6 of them and found out was in the dip. She had made it with all low fat ingredients and no extra salt. So, I took about 2 teaspoons. All of that help ease my fears, too.
Because all of those things happened while I was going on my journey, I feel very comfortable now that I have reached goal and on maintenance. I can't picture myself being any other way after 2 years of the program. Even going thru my treatments, I managed to do leg lifts everyday and light hand weights on my right. The left side is where they took the lymph nodes and I could not do them on that side for a long time. It can still be sore sometimes now. When it is, I adjust the exercises I do that day.
All and all, my journey has been helped by Spark and the support and encouragement I received. All the wonderful information was so helpful. I think I have saved almost every article there is!! lol!! But my fears are all gone.
Everyone take care of yourselves. I know y'all make the best choices you can.
Peace, love, and happiness to all my Buds. i love each one of you.
Monday, September 03, 2012
Q. How did you pick your goal weight? Did you pick an ultimate goal weight at the beginning of your weight loss? Did it change? Did you set smaller goals along the way?
I picked my goal weight at first to be under 200 pounds. I really wanted to lose more but getting a healthy life style was my main goal. i figured the weight loss to be the extra reward for that.
Yes, my goal changed several times. After the first 65 pounds, I made the next one for 30 more pounds. After that, I worked with 20 pound numbers. I never put a date to my goals. My thought on that was when I get there I get there. If my better eating and increased exercise doesn't give me more weight off, so be it. Then I made every one. I rewarded myself when I lost the 65 and when I achieved
a healthy BMI for my height and weight. Increasing my goal is on the advice of my oncologist. He thinks I am too light and wants me to gain with more good protein and good fats. I have increased my calorie goals for each day to try to accomplish what he wishes. I want to feel good and to be the best me than I can. And I do feel good.
Happiness has been with me for quite a while now. I have also enjoyed not having to shop in the plus sizes anymore, too. The first time I went to get new clothes, I couldn't believe I had lost so many inches!! I knew the weight came off, but I didn't think much beyond most of my pants were too big for me. When I tried jeans on, I started with a size 18. It was obvious i needed to go down. I ended up with a 10. The next ones were 6! I even have one pair of 4's!! It is great being in single digit sizes. All of my bras became way too big, too. I went from a 50DD to a 36B/C. Again, I was amazed by that. My first bra when I was in 5th grade and 9 years old was a 34B! But the feeling much better and not having to use my chair very much anymore have been the biggest things for me.
The encouragement hand support that my Spark friends have given me, helped to spur me on to get healthy and by doing so, losing the weight. For that i am so very grateful. I love each and every one.
Peace, love, and hope.
Monday, September 03, 2012
1: Your stats. Starting stats, current stats, goal stats. Are you currently trying to lose weight, gain weight, or maintain weight or something else? Do you have a goal for the month of September?
Starting weight: 245
Weight as of Friday August 31 - 117
I have changed my goal weight from 120 to 125
I am trying to gain weight by eating more good protein and good fat
My goal for September is try to get closer to my goal weight.
Those who follow my blog already know of my struggle on my goal weight. I am trying to do as close as I can to my oncologist's weight he would like to see at the end of September.
When I started this journey seriously, I made my first goal at -65 pounds. That put me under 200 pounds for the first time in over 20 years. When i made it, I reset my goal for -30 pounds. After reaching that one, the next ones were in -20 pound intervals until i reached 120. I chose that number because I had been at 123 when I was married at nineteen to my first husband. As soon as he left for Viet Nam, i started emotional eating. It got worse from that point forward. There were some health issue that wasn't found for 20 years. Once that was taken care of, I stopped all emotional eating and got to 140. Then my father died on my 30th birthday, and the emotional eating started once more.
Needless to say I've been up and down over the years with the emotional eating coming into play along with different health issues, becoming smoke free, and simply not caring what into my mouth.
Hopefully I'll be able to get to that 125 easily. But, no more emotional eating for over 20 years.
My driver's license picture from 1991 when I moved to FL. I was at 185.
My picture on 4th of July, several months before my dad passed away. I was at 130.
My graduation picture the summer of 1963. I was at 127.
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