EVWINGS   100,457
100,000-149,999 SparkPoints
EVWINGS's Recent Blog Entries

Members vs. #1 killer of women

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Heart Attack is the #1 killer of Women in the US.

Symptoms are different for women than men.

This info comes from the American Heart Association.

We’ve all seen the movie scenes where a man gasps, clutches his chest and falls to the ground. In reality, a heart attack victim could easily be a woman, and the scene may not be that dramatic.

“Although men and women can experience chest pressure that feels like an elephant sitting across the chest, women can experience a heart attack without chest pressure, ” said Nieca Goldberg, M.D., medical director for the Joan H. Tisch Center for Women's Health at NYU’s Langone Medical Center and an American Heart Association volunteer. “Instead they may experience shortness of breath, pressure or pain in the lower chest or upper abdomen, dizziness, lightheadedness or fainting, upper back pressure or extreme fatigue.”

Even when the signs are subtle, the consequences can be deadly, especially if the victim doesn’t get help right away.

‘I thought I had the flu’
Even though heart disease is the No. 1 killer of women, women often chalk up the symptoms to less life-threatening conditions like acid reflux, the flu or normal aging.

“They do this because they are scared and because they put their families first,” Goldberg said. “There are still many women who are shocked that they could be having a heart attack.”

A heart attack strikes someone about every 34 seconds. It occurs when the blood flow that brings oxygen to the heart muscle is severely reduced or cut off completely. This happens because the arteries that supply the heart with blood can slowly become thicker and harder from a buildup of fat, cholesterol and other substances (plaque).

Watch an animation of a heart attack.

Many women think the signs of a heart attack are unmistakable — the image of the elephant comes to mind — but in fact they can be subtler and sometimes confusing.

You could feel so short of breath, “as though you ran a marathon, but you haven't made a move,” Goldberg said.

Some women experiencing a heart attack describe upper back pressure that feels like squeezing or a rope being tied around them, Goldberg said. Dizziness, lightheadedness or actually fainting are other symptoms to look for.

“Many women I see take an aspirin if they think they are having a heart attack and never call 9-1-1,” Goldberg said. “But if they think about taking an aspirin for their heart attack, they should also call 9-1-1.”

Take care of yourself
Heart disease is preventable. Here are Goldberg’s top tips:
•Schedule an appointment with your healthcare provider to learn your personal risk for heart disease. You can also learn your risk with our Heart Attack Risk Calculator.
•Quit smoking. Did you know that just one year after you quit, you’ll cut your risk of coronary heart disease by 50 percent?
•Start an exercise program. Just walking 30 minutes a day can lower your risk for heart attack and stroke.
•Modify your family’s diet if needed. Check out these healthy cooking tips. You’ll learn smart substitutions, healthy snacking ideas and better prep methods. For example, with poultry, use the leaner light meat (breasts) instead of the fattier dark meat (legs and thighs), and be sure to remove the skin.

Heart Attack Signs in Women
1.Uncomfortable pressure, squeezing, fullness or pain in the center of your chest. It lasts more than a few minutes, or goes away and comes back.
2.Pain or discomfort in one or both arms, the back, neck, jaw or stomach.
3.Shortness of breath with or without chest discomfort.
4.Other signs such as breaking out in a cold sweat, nausea or lightheadedness.
5.As with men, women’s most common heart attack symptom is chest pain or discomfort. But women are somewhat more likely than men to experience some of the other common symptoms, particularly shortness of breath, nausea/vomiting and back or jaw pain.

If you have any of these signs, don’t wait more than five minutes before calling for help. Call 9-1-1 and get to a hospital right away.

To all my Spark Buds, please take good care of yourselves. You are too important to Spark and the other members to have you be gone for any length of time!! By joining Spark and making your lifestyle healthy, you have taken the first step towards a healthy heart.

At the site listed at the end, I have signed up for email info that comes about once a month or less. I also signed for the Go Red For Women program. i hope some of you do, too.

I love each and every one of you!

Peace, love, hope



  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SNUZSUZ 9/2/2012 8:18AM


Report Inappropriate Comment
DADDYS_GIRL6 9/1/2012 9:49PM

    Thanks for sharing this info. We precious women need to hear it often! :)

Report Inappropriate Comment
JAE_HENNINGTON 9/1/2012 1:44PM

  I was drawn to your blog by brave_one.. thank you so much for posting such valuable info

Report Inappropriate Comment
IMAGINE_IT 9/1/2012 1:43AM

    emoticon and life saving info!! Thank you very much for taking the time to write this blog!

Report Inappropriate Comment
CHERIRIDDELL 9/1/2012 1:06AM

    Thank you for this important information Ev

Report Inappropriate Comment
DEE107 8/31/2012 11:30PM


Report Inappropriate Comment
BRAVEONE92 8/31/2012 11:22PM

    Ev, thank you so much for the great information
for women! This is fantastic news to me. I
have shared it with many of my dear friends. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
LOLAINSC 8/31/2012 1:53PM

    Wow, great post! Chances of heart disease go up considerably after menopause, but even many doctors do not seem to take that fact into account when treating post-menopausal women complaining of fatigue, so we have to be vigilant for ourselves.
emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
HIKETOHEIGHTS 8/31/2012 1:18PM

    How thoughtfully sweet!

Report Inappropriate Comment
Q8PRINCESS 8/31/2012 10:58AM

    Good info

Report Inappropriate Comment
COACHPENNY 8/31/2012 2:26AM

    A wonderful reminder, Ev. This should be printed and kept handy.

Report Inappropriate Comment
JINLYNN 8/31/2012 2:06AM

    Great blog with important information. Thanks for sharing.

Report Inappropriate Comment
JAMER123 8/30/2012 11:23PM

    Excellent information to post! The AMA hasn't promoted the signs & symptoms of women in the past as they really treated them the same as men. Now we know there is a difference & women need to learn them. Also, women are usually the caregivers of their families and put themselves AFTER all the family is settled. Often too tired to think the fatigue could be a symptom.
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
KARIDIAN1 8/30/2012 9:46PM

    Very good information. Also to note- Parkinson,s and diabetes cam mask the "normal" heart attack systems. That is what happened to my Dad. He thought he had the flu or a bad upset stomach.

Report Inappropriate Comment
SANDRALEET 8/30/2012 9:40PM

    So true We as women have to take better care of them selves. emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MOTLEM 8/30/2012 9:18PM

    Same for women all over the world, not just in America.
Good, thank you.
emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SWDESERTLOVER 8/30/2012 9:07PM

    This is very good information for all women to know. Thanks for sharing.

Cindy emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment

I'm not going to do it.....well maybe a little

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Today was the day. I had a checkup with my radiation oncologist. I'm not too happy about all he had to say. First let me say that according to the US
Department of Health and Human Services, the lowest number for being a healthy weight is 18.5 and mine is 19.5. Well the first thing Dr K told me was that I looked like someone just released from a concentration camp!!! Then he said I am malnourished and I needed to gain 20-40 pounds!! He said more protein and good fats. He also said I should be eating 7 meals a day to reach 2000 calories a day!! He suggested a personal dietician. To say the very least I am NOT going to gain weight to put myself in the overweight category!! I would then be at the first of the overweight numbers if I would lose all he wants me to. He said in Feb I was 149 lbs and today I am 117 lbs. He said that isn't a healthy loss. I told him I was feeling fine and I only have bad days once in a great while. He said he wasn't going to sit by and watch me starve myself to death!

My cancers appear to be totally gone, but I'm to get a PET scan in two weeks and if I don't have another cancer to make me lose so much weight that whatever I'm doing is wrong. I'm to also see him next month to see how I'm doing in gaining weight.

OK Buds, this is the last picture taken of me last month and I am at 120 - my goal weight. Tell me honestly, do I look malnourished? I really want to know one way or the other. if most of you think I am, along with my doctor AND Bob, I'll try really hard to gain some. But i REFUSE to gain to where I am considered overweight!! Please, please, please be honest. It is what i need. I am also going to check on the dietician for her fees as insurance nor medicare will pay for any of it. Oh, I nearly forgot he is wanting a home health worker to give me a medical examination. That I can go along with. What worries me the very most is how much he wants me to gain. He said at 150 lbs., but I really cannot do it. I'm nearly in tears from all this. I'm not sure how much more I can do today.

As positive as I try to be each and every day, this has taken the wind right out of my sails. I've been so proud of reaching goal and to be told what I was today, hurts so bad. It also makes me angry, too, because I feel that I was in the healthy range on the BMI and that was never considered at all.

I am going to try to do as much as possible because helping others cheers me and makes me happy. I'll see how that works out before I make up my mind.

Thank y'all for listening to my rant and rave. And please be sure to comment on the picture when you leave your other comments.

Peace, love, and happiness to all my Buds. I love each of you very much.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

STILLWATERSSB 8/30/2012 12:31PM

    Congratulations on the cancer being gone and I hope your next PET scan confirms that. Listen to your body.....I used to listen to only the dr since they were experienced but then I discovered I knew me better than they did. The nutritionist couldn't hurt to make sure you are taking in what you need vitamin wise and especially after battling cancer that could've depleted needed nourishment. I don't think anyone other than you can actually pinpoint a number that makes you feel good. Find what gives you energy and makes you feel good without going to either extreme!

Report Inappropriate Comment
LADYPIXEL 8/30/2012 12:17PM

    I know that when my mother-in-law was battling cancer, she was told to eat, eat, eat after the radiation treatments, mostly because it's so very easy to lose too much weight because of chemo/radiation. I suspect that's what your doctor was seeing, rather than seeing someone who is trying to maintain a healthy weight level while going through it all.

With that said, do note that the Dept. of Health's present guidelines are "optimal" guidelines, and don't necessarily reflect reality -- they're based on looking at strings of numbers, not on reality. You look as though you're in good shape, but at the same time you don't want to risk going underweight for your body frame, either. It may be time to consider a nutritionist, as others have recommended. :)

Report Inappropriate Comment
LOLAINSC 8/30/2012 11:45AM

    Sounds like someone got out of the bad side of the bed that morning and it wasn't you! Your doctor may have a point that you need a few more pounds (certainly not 20!) but it sounds like his manner left much to be desired and was offensive enough to have the opposite effect on you. Just please be careful not to lose any more and count your achievements and blessings even if your doctor doesn't. Congratulations on your healthy report! Personally, I would try to keep my weight between 120-130 and tell the doctor in no uncertain terms that that is where I intend to stay for the sake of my energy level and my heart.

Report Inappropriate Comment
JAMER123 8/30/2012 1:17AM

    Hi beautiful EV!! I am glad you read my blog as I had missed yours due to being locked out of SP all night last night. I go back to my main question. Are you happy with you? You look good and sounds like you are feeling good too. We all know that when one loses weight, it is easy to regain it and many times we don't stop. A couple of pounds can turn in the 20, 30 etc. You BMI looks to be appropriate but when you are being treated for cancer, you need some reserves for health. So I would add proteins and an additional carb. to what you are doing. Hope this helps a little.
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
PATRICIAANN46 8/29/2012 10:01PM

  Hi Ev.........
It is difficult to go by a picture...........seeing you in person would be much better in order to give my opinion. I wish that I looked as good in my jeans as you do in yours, but I am not your Dr. I am very glad to hear that you are cancer-free. Maybe he feels that with all you have gone through, that having a few extra pounds is like a security blanket. If you can possibly do it, I would listen to a Registered Dietician. She can zero in on exactly what you need to eat to be at your optimum health.

Report Inappropriate Comment
BECKYANNE1 8/29/2012 7:33PM

    You don't look under weight to me, but I understand your Dr. concerns. When I last saw my Dr. he told me not to lose any more weight. I was still a couple of lbs above my healthy BMI, but those BMI's aren't totally accurate and I'm sure he's looking at the whole picture. My Dr. wanted to know if I wanted to see a dietician also because for me, I don't always get the amount of protein I need. I don't do it intentionally, but with the hot summer we've had, I found myself eating much lighter than usual. Eating healthier foods too. Try and not get too upset with him. He is just looking out for your best interests. Take care!

Report Inappropriate Comment
CAROLIAN 8/29/2012 5:43PM

    You look great emoticon So glad your cancer is gone xxx

Report Inappropriate Comment
MISSDAISY23 8/29/2012 2:56PM

    I am happy to know that the cancer is gone! Honestly, you do not look malnourished. You look better in the picture of you I just commented. I am agreeing with other ladies here that says to go with 125.

Take care and have a fabulous day! emoticon


Report Inappropriate Comment
PMFISH 8/29/2012 9:50AM

    Ev you look great! You know your body better than anyone else. You are a couple of inches taller than me (now 5'3" from 5'43/4) and at 152 and I need to lose at least another 20 pounds. I know you have had difficulty eating, but you need to listen to your body. Dr.s can be great, but they can be thoughtless and incorrect, that why they call it practicing. If you need some good fats, I discovered coconut oil this year and of course avocado are a great source of good fat. Can you drink protein shakes? Please do not let this dr stress you out. Stress causes multiply problems. You are a smart woman, listen to Ev and ask for God's guidance. What does your blood work say!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
ILOVETOCRUISE 8/29/2012 9:12AM

    First, so glad the cancer is gone. I also think you should see a nutritionist. I would not worry about the BMI for you. Do the 125 and talk to your doctor. Good luck and emoticonfor you.

Report Inappropriate Comment
ABBYSHARPE 8/29/2012 8:48AM

    I like the suggestion of seeing a nutritionist.

Report Inappropriate Comment
COACHPENNY 8/29/2012 4:09AM

    I'm going to go against the grain here. The most recent pictures of you have given me pause more than once and I am glad that Bob and your doctors are bringing it to your attention. I think that they are right. Not only because you've been so ill but also, as we age being as thin as we would have like to be, is not always a good idea.

Ev, we've never met in person so, I cannot accurately "see" how you carry your weight. I do know that you've been battling some extreme health issues and you've struggled with your weight, most of your life. The weight loss was something that you could be positive about while the cancer darkened your doorstep.

In your pictures, just before this last big weight loss, you looked beautiful (I recall the pic of you with your hair done and holding two of your little dogs). Such a lovely face with exquisite, high cheekbones. The most recent pics, as I said, have given me pause. You do look gaunt. You've lost the robust look of health. I say this at the risk of hurting your feelings and as much as I like you, that is the last thing I would want to do. The goals that you made for yourself may have been too extreme, especially given the state of your health. As we age, carrying a little of extra weight is not a bad thing.

I'm sure I'll take some flack for this. Being fit is not about being thin. It's about being healthy, active and strong. At 120, you do not look fit, you look frail. Please listen to Bob and your doctors.

With much affection........


Comment edited on: 8/29/2012 4:10:54 AM

Report Inappropriate Comment
BLUE42DOWN 8/29/2012 1:28AM

    First off, if that 18.5 you're talking about is BMI, that's the low end of a "normal" range. You're above that, which really makes it sound like the concentration camp reference is misguided.

I know when I think of someone grossly underweight, I think of a very distinct rib-cage and prominent hip bones. In fact, all the joints, such as shoulders elbows and knees, start looking over-large in proportion to the arms and legs. (None of that is going to be easily visible in a clothed picture.)

One thing I would say - if you've lost three more pounds in one month after reaching your goal weight, and it isn't just a fluctuation, it might be worth bumping up your daily calories. Not so much as the doctor is suggesting, but by around 250-400. Focus on healthy foods to gain that boost.

In fact, if the recommendation to see a personal dietitian would be feasible, might be worth going for. He or she might be able to independently give you an unbiased estimate of how much you need to be eating and ways to maximize your nutrition - which is good whether we're losing, maintaining or gaining.

Comment edited on: 8/29/2012 1:28:30 AM

Report Inappropriate Comment
Q8PRINCESS 8/29/2012 12:41AM

    You do look good. I think 125 might be a better weight. I'm trying to aim for 22.5 BMI right in the middle of the healthy zone. Sometimes, when I don't agree with a doctor, I just say that they made some very good points and I am going to go home and think about it and do some more research on it. Lots of time the next visit they don't even mention what they said last time.

Report Inappropriate Comment
CHERIRIDDELL 8/29/2012 12:40AM

    You look healthy to me Ev .You seem to be doing loads of things .What does Bob say? If you are managing to eat healthy portions and you can do the things you want to do then all is well.Trust me I have seen people 's photos who were released from concentration camps ,some of our family friends were prisoners of the Japanese after world war 2 and some of them were prisoners of the Viet COng , you bear no resemblance to what I saw.I can't imagine Bob standing by and letting you be malnourished this is the man who posted to your friends as he knew we would worry about you when you were ill. Eat healthy and stay healthy and happy where you are,love and hugs,Cheri

Report Inappropriate Comment
MEDDYPEDDY 8/29/2012 12:17AM

    From your picture you look fine - but I know that "alive" is often something else and I aso know that when you lose as fast as you have done, you might look a little starved until the skin has accomodated, and ny that I don´t mean that it will shrunk altogether, but it will look more ...healthy (I don´t know any english word for this)

It is good that you trust that doctor - I can´t help but feel that he was unecessary harsh towards you. I also understand that eating has become hard to you so need to find a way to stay balanced. I really don´t have any good advice, just want to tell you that you look ok!

Report Inappropriate Comment
EVWINGS 8/28/2012 11:58PM

    My weight range is 110 - 149

My BMI is 19.5

Report Inappropriate Comment
KARIDIAN1 8/28/2012 10:53PM

    Ev, I think you look good. What is the suggested weight for your height and build? If you fall in that range and your BMI is good I would think your doctor should be happy.

Report Inappropriate Comment
EVWINGS 8/28/2012 10:46PM

    When I first started with my radiation, I told Dr K that I was working to lose weight and have a healthier life style. He seemed to dismiss it by telling me I was big breasted. Well,I knew that!! I'm thinking I was about 225 at that time. Then last summer he told me he wanted me to try and stay the size during my treatment because I would need all the calories I could. When I finished that last August, I was at 215. So I do believe that is part of the problem, too. He was used to me being heavy. BTW I am 5'5" - I have shrunk from 5'6". My point was I feel so much better and enjoy being able to get into places I couldn't before. My seat belt even feels better! I trust him, and I heard what he said just i am hearing what all of you are saying. I already have decided to change to 125 as my goal weight and to try to build some more muscle to account for the gain. Perhaps he doesn't see that for whatever reason.

Report Inappropriate Comment
EBEAMS 8/28/2012 10:32PM

    Here's my thoughts. Pictures can be deceiving because they can add or take away weight. And it's hard to pin down what 150 looks like unless I know how tall you are. If you are 5'1", then 120 lbs might be appropriate for you. If you are 5'7", probably not. Do you look malnourished? NO! However, your doctor is an educated professional that has no reason to lie to you about what is healthy for you ... if he is, then you need a new doctor! While you may feel like everything is perfect right where it is, there might be another point of view that you aren't considering. I think the dietitian is a great suggestion. And I respect that this struggle has to be very, very hard. Wishing you comfort and clarity in your thoughts ... Hugs, Eda

Report Inappropriate Comment
1STATEOFDENIAL 8/28/2012 8:44PM

I sorta know how you feel. With my stomach issues causing me to lose so much weight (though I really was underweight) and now I've gotta back to goal and added 10 more pounds, I feel strange at this weight. I could stand to drop 5-10 lbs by exercising and gaining back the muscle I lost, but it's so weird to think about having to gain.

Take this with a grain of salt, but maybe if you made your goal weight 125, just up a little, and try to gain by adding some more muscle, that might be beneficial. Doctors are used to seeing people who are overweight or obese (that's over 60% of the population after all), so when they see someone at the low end of normal they don't like it. I figure you could appease him by meeting with a nutrionist/dietician and showing her/him a printout of anything you've been logging on SP. This will show that you're serious about being healthy. You could also get a 2nd doctor's opinion. Doctors are human after all and if most other patient he's seen in the past week was overweight, then sure you'd look too skinny to him! Having another doctor's input, or at least the dietician's approval, should help him understand the reality: you're at the low end of normal but that's not emaciated.

I know in your case, adding muscle might be difficult. If you can find a way to get into physical therapy and/or water therapy, maybe that will help you add some muscle and bring up your weight in a healthy way. It will prove to your doctor that you're doing everything you can to be healthy. And it will help you feel good.

I think you look okay in the picture (hard to tell with your shirt a little baggy), and gaining 5 pounds of muscle would not make you look bigger.

Report Inappropriate Comment
BELDONDOG1 8/28/2012 7:47PM

    I think you look fine, Ev! You don't look malnourished to me. All you can do is put it in God's hands and pray for the best. I'll be praying right with you. Noel

Report Inappropriate Comment
THRIVE2DAY 8/28/2012 7:23PM

    I think you look good, Ev! Congrats on reaching a healthy BMI and for reaching goal weight!


Comment edited on: 8/28/2012 7:24:00 PM

Report Inappropriate Comment
MARILYNS66 8/28/2012 6:08PM

    From your picture you look ok to me. Would this doc be thinking of height and going from the chart. But what about your BMI - check it out as it goes by your height and weight - and if you are in the health range - I would put his advise up on the shelf.

Report Inappropriate Comment
ZACEVETOB 8/28/2012 5:40PM

    Wow i find your picture of you to look fit and healthy, maybe your doctor needs his eyes checked i would think the dietician will tell you that you look fine and if your BMI is in range i don't see issue with your weight maybe the fact you lost it quickly but that had to do with the treatment you had been going through with cancer. But the way you look i wouldn't recommend loosing any more i think you look good for you :) If you were malnourished you wouldn't be able to smile or raise your arm now would you. How do the people who see you every day view you?

Report Inappropriate Comment

Dear Ms Dion.....

Friday, August 24, 2012

Day #13 in Self discovery Blog - Write a letter to the musician whose music has seen you through bad times and good times.

Dear Ms Dion,

My name is Evelyn and I wanted you to know what a big fan of yours I am. Your 1996 album "Falling Into You" has really helped me through some bad times and good. When i had to travel about 30 miles to get to see my mama and 30 miles back, I would play cds and I would always pick out this one. Mama was in a nursing home and had been molested by an Alzheimer's patient who had no idea what he was doing. Traveling to the nursing home after I had been told the news, I had your album in the player and just played it again. The music was upbeat and helped me to not think about what i was going to be seeing when i got there. With all my experience in law enforcement and rape crisis team, I could hardly bare to see my mama so confused. She could barely speak and her roommate couldn't at all so neither could call for help. When I left I cried. Then I got into the car and put your album in the player and began to feel much better.

My brother still had to be told. I think that was one of the most difficult calls i ever made - telling him his mother had been molested. He got really quiet. Fortunately he was coming to our home from his about 800 miles away to visit her for the weekend so he was with her the very next day. His daughter was with him and she really helped with laws, etc as she has her doctorate in sociology majoring in geriatrics. Once more your album came to my rescue. I had a very difficult time dealing with all of this. "River Deep, Mountain High" was one of my very favorites.

About a year and a half later, mama passed away. Both my brother and i gave talks of our memories of her. We had to do it twice - once at her service here and then her burial service in our hometown. I know it is a love song, but it worked perfectly for me. i read the words to "Because You Loved Me". Especially the lines - "I'm all that I can be because you loved me." "You lift me up when I was down" and "you taught me I could fly".

Thank you so much for giving all of us that song. It quickly became one of my all time favorites. My mama never let me down. Whenever I hear you singing that song, i have such beautiful memories, especially of good times with our entire family. I can't really find the proper words to tell you how much this has all been for me. I had to let you know how you touched the life of one woman.
Thus this letter.

May you be blessed, and have love and peace always.


Peace, love, and strength to all my SparkBuds. I love all of you!!!


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LOSTLIME 8/28/2012 6:10AM

    I am so sorry about what happened to your mother. Music can bring us through the tough times and the good times. I hope that you do send this letter to Celine. May the music get you through all the tough times you have to go through.

Report Inappropriate Comment
MPLANE37 8/25/2012 10:12PM

    Great blog. We sweat the little things, the money, the economic crisis, the job, as if they are the biggest issues ever... Yet life can get so much tougher.

Report Inappropriate Comment
SNUZSUZ 8/25/2012 7:42AM

    What a beautiful blog! So sorry about your mother.

Report Inappropriate Comment
HICKOK-HALEY 8/25/2012 4:31AM

    Music was my heart and soul for so many years. I'm so glad the songs got you through the tough times. Celine Dion is such a passionate singer, and what a voice. I can see why she touch you!

Report Inappropriate Comment
CHERIRIDDELL 8/24/2012 11:47PM

    So sorry for what happened to your Mum,glad that music helped you through that time.

Report Inappropriate Comment
KARIDIAN1 8/24/2012 11:13PM

    A very well written blog with personal insight in to your favorite album and artist. So sorry about what happened to your mother. So sad for all involved and your family too.

Report Inappropriate Comment
SWDESERTLOVER 8/24/2012 8:42PM

    I love her music, and your letter is beautiful. I do hope you send it to her. Thank you for sharing it with us.


Report Inappropriate Comment
LOLAINSC 8/24/2012 12:00PM

    “There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats.” Albert Schweitzer. Lovely blog--I think I'll go sob now.

Report Inappropriate Comment
HIKETOHEIGHTS 8/24/2012 10:51AM

    Great choice she is a huge talent. I love that commercial where she hands the bell boy the rose ! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
GINNJEN1974 8/24/2012 7:08AM

    What a great idea for a blog. I see that you have received alot of strength from Her musi too.

Report Inappropriate Comment
DEBRA0818 8/24/2012 3:58AM

    Music has a way of touching something deep within our souls, an ineffable connection that can hardly be described although you did a beautiful job here describing how Celine Dion's music lifted you up when you needed it most.


Report Inappropriate Comment
MOTLEM 8/24/2012 1:46AM

    Celine Dion is such a great singer.
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
Just so many great singers and musicians around, it's hard to pick a favourite.

Report Inappropriate Comment
FLEMIDG 8/24/2012 12:48AM

    What a beautiful letter. I am sure Celine Dion would be happy to read it.
Thanks so much for sharing.


Report Inappropriate Comment
DIET_FRIEND 8/24/2012 12:25AM

    I would probably write to Annie Lennox or Rickie Lee Jones or Sade. Neat letter. Are you going to send it to her?

Report Inappropriate Comment

Today's the Day!! Winners announced for contest!!

Monday, August 20, 2012

Today's the day I promised to announce the top three winners. I had some help in deciding the winners as there were soooo many good entries!! The top prize winner will receive the prize straight from ancestry.com. Top three, please remember to send me your information that I may send to Ancestry and the 2nd and third prizes to the winners. Thank you to everyone who took part in the contest. A huge thank you to Sandy, one of the team leaders for our genealogy team, for helping with the decision. And an even bigger thank you to Ancestory.com for having their ACES hold these contests.

Without further ado, here are the winners along with their entries. I have listed them #3 to #1.


#3 SDANIEL75 :
For Q #1 -There wasn't much available for my dad's side though. His family name is Sweeney and I believe it was shortened from Mc or Mac Sweeney. I would like to know if they hailed from Ireland or Scotland and their occupation.

For Q #2 - I know my grandfather had a cart that sold fresh potato chips somewhere in the northeast but I would like to know what he did prior to or after this venture. He retired to Ozona , Florida in the late 50's or early 60's. His name is Leo E. Sweeney.

Thank you.
Sheila Daniel
1) "What would you like to find out the most about your ancestors?"
I have been searching my history for over 30 years and have amassed quite a lot of information in that time BUT I have 2 main mysteries left to uncover. What happened to my paternal great grandfather's siblings and where did my maternal great grandmother's family come from? Having a very unusual surname for the former, I've been lucky in some regards. The latter name is such a common surname it makes it quite difficult to trace.

2) "What kinds of questions do you feel you will have answered by researching the 1940 Census records?"

As the form of transportation became easier our family moved out across the states. Is the answer to my 2 main mysteries stored in an elusive distant cousin's attic. Tracing those cousins has opened up many new windows for me to explore as well as new stories and photos to add. The 1940 census will offer the ability to easier find these distant families and I have hope that my brick wall will start having large holes in it filled with new information.
1) "What would you like to find out the most about your ancestors?"

In general, the various places they emigrated from - I know some were from Germany, some from France, some from England, and several came into the US in the early 1800s from Canada. I'd like to find out more information, tho. In particular, there's one branch of the French-Canadian connection I'd like to trace - I'm hoping to find documentation to 'prove' which ancestors are actually ours.

2) "What kinds of questions do you feel you will have answered by researching the 1940 Census records?"

Although the 1940 records are the most complete (that is, compared to previous available censuses) they are incredibly difficult to sift thru, to my mind. The country had already begun heading towards a war economy, and consequently many people were already on the move - in my family, an uncle had enlisted in the Navy and two aunts had moved to DC to work in the federal government. This might not have been a big deal if they hadn't moved far, but this involved leaving home and going 400 miles - a very long-distance move at that time. Not knowing quite where they lived (the uncle was based in northern VA, I think, while my aunts - sisters - shared an apartment somewhere around Glen Echo) means I would either have to comb relentlessly through who-knows-how-many pages... or I have to wait until the census is completely referenced and cross-indexed. In short - at this time, I don't feel as tho my questions would be answered by the 1940 census. Grandparents and great-grandparents all lived in the same houses they'd lived in as of 1930 (and in some of these cases, the same houses they'd lived in all their lives), with the exception of one set of great-grandparents who lived 'somewhere in TX.' Eventually, I hope the 1940 census will enable me to find just where the Texas branch were, but in the meantime, I fear it's of little help, as I don't even know what county they were in.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CHERIRIDDELL 8/22/2012 11:40PM

    Congrats to winners

Report Inappropriate Comment
SHEILA-45 8/22/2012 8:44PM

    Thank you Ev! What a nice surprise. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
PMFISH 8/21/2012 7:06PM

    Congrats to the winners! Happy Hunting!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MOM2ACAT 8/21/2012 4:43PM

    Congrats to the winners!

Report Inappropriate Comment
Q8PRINCESS 8/21/2012 3:50AM


Report Inappropriate Comment
KARIDIAN1 8/20/2012 10:43PM

    Congrats to your winners. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MOTLEM 8/20/2012 10:36PM


Report Inappropriate Comment
STLOUISWOMAN 8/20/2012 10:01PM

    Congratulation to all the winners!

Let me add that while I did see the entries, I didn't know who sent them. I just gave my opinion, but left the decision to Ev.

Report Inappropriate Comment
SWDESERTLOVER 8/20/2012 8:46PM

    Congratulations to all the winners!!


Report Inappropriate Comment
EBEAMS 8/20/2012 2:29PM

    emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
LOSTLIME 8/20/2012 2:24PM

    emoticonto all the winners!

Report Inappropriate Comment
SUNNYDAZE9 8/20/2012 2:19PM


Report Inappropriate Comment

Friendship Week and Friendships

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Today(Sunday 8/19) starts Friendship week. I always enjoy these kinds of special days and weeks. So much so that I get reminders from 123 Greetings.

I have blogged about friendships and how difficult i think it is to make them and keep them at an older age. I hated leaving all my friends in Ohio. Along with my family that is what I have missed the most. Having friends that grew up with me and went through my laughter and tears with me and I didn't have to explain anything to them are the kind I'm talking about. When I first moved to FL most of my friends were my mama's friends. Then I started to make some on my own. There were three of us who got really close. We all three worked for the City, though Pam and I were on the same watch at the PD. We quit within a week of each other and went to vo tech to get the cosmetology license program. No one believed we hadn't planned it, but we didn't even tell each other because we thought the other would be angry!

My birthday is the end of October, Gerry's was the middle of January, and Pam was youngest with her birthday at the end of January. Gerry even knew my home ground territory as she grew up perhaps 30 miles from me. She knew a lot of the places around where I lived and we figured we were probably at the same places at the same time!! The evening Pam and I took our state boards,
I was exhausted. Gerry called to see how we did and my mama told her I was sleeping and she didn't want to bother me. Gerry said she'd call me the next day. I had just gotten to work when the phone rang and since I was nearest, I answered. It was the fellow I was dating. He called to tell me Gerry and her husband had been on their way to work and a guy who was DUI and running from the police plowed into their vehicle and hit right where Gerry was sitting. She was killed. She was in her 40's. This was very difficult for Pam and I to take. We kept saying the three of us would be in the nursing home at the same time to give all the nurses and docs trouble! Then in Oct 2001, Pam died from breast cancer. She fought it for nearly three years. She was an only child and her parents were gone, so she always told the hospital I was her sister so I could get into see her no matter what. Her death was almost more than I could handle. Even the neighbor I had gone job hunting with and was my mama's neighbor for about 10 years before I came here, died from breast cancer about a year after. I still had tons of on-line friends, but it is different. Not better or worse, just different.

This county is made up of a lot of state and national forest land and a lot of forests that belong to Georgia Pacific as they have a plant here and are a big employer. Even though it is large in square miles, it is low in population. There are about 250 people in the area where I am. The town closest to us is 600. Where we go to church, to our primary care doctor, the outlet store, and where we grocery shop is the next closest town and it is 1700. The county seat is 30 miles away and is 35,000 population. Needless to say, one really needs family or close friends to get support and friendship that they need.

By now I think a lot of you know how close Bob and I are, but sometimes it would just be nice to have someone to talk to, go for coffee or girls' shopping, or scrapbook or do genealogy or just sit and watch the beautiful sunsets. Since we are so close to the ocean, it would be nice to go there and take pictures, walk around town or on one of the beaches. Gerry, Pam, and I went to a lot of craft shows and sales from a lot of the area organizations. Many womens groups and churches have art shows, Christmas shows, style shows, etc. It was really nice to share. They are really good memories that I have.

Even my daily walks and exercises would be a lot more fun to have someone to share them. I had found a Spark Bud from our county seat and I was very hopeful, but she left our site before I could really get to know her. So that never went anywhere. I think with the mobility of our society today, this happens with a lot more people than I. I must say Bob has had a much easier time of it. He has all kinds of friends here. He loves to talk and as I say, he has never met a stranger! But he knows more people here than I do.

There are several books that I would like to recommend to anyone else who is in a similar situation as I or just has an interest in the subject.

1) The Friendship Crisis (Finding and making friends when you're not a kid anymore) by Marla Paul

2) MWF seeking BFF (My year long search for a new best Friend) by Rachel Bertsche

3) Natasha's Words For Friends by Natasha Josefowitz

The last one is a wonderful book of poetry for friends. Believe me, most women will understand them. A friend gave it to me when I was leaving to move here. I miss her.

So this is what has been on my mind. I truly wish some of my Spark Buds were real life buds, too, because that is how I think of them. Good friends I can share anything but time and phone calls and life experiences.

Peace, love, and hope. I love all of you my Spark friends. You mean the world to me.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOM2ACAT 8/21/2012 4:44PM

    As I've grown older, I've come to realize that it is the quality of the friendships, not the quantity, that count.

Report Inappropriate Comment
KATHIES518 8/21/2012 1:16PM

    Thank you for such a beautiful reminder to cherish those that we do still have. You sound as though you are a lovely person and I am sure that special friends will be attracted to your openess and beauty. God bless you in your quest.

Report Inappropriate Comment
KARIDIAN1 8/20/2012 11:03PM

    Pretty much my only best friend is my husband. We have many friends, but for someone I can really confide in, that is my husband. I have no really close female friends, except my mom. My husband and I do pretty much everything together, everyone thinks of us as a team when we go to shooting events. So rare that we are not together for an event.

Report Inappropriate Comment
DEBBY4576 8/20/2012 9:51AM

    I have been thinking about how few friends I have. I have blamed it on my age too. I think we also get alot pickier about who we choose to befriend. Not working also adds to the lack of a "friend pool" to pick from.
I have been working on this though too. We have a group that go for dinner every Thursday night, and have begun going out with them. Part of my problem I think is I am not putting forth the effort enough. Here's to us working towards two new girlfriends by the end of the year!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
1STATEOFDENIAL 8/20/2012 6:05AM

    There are so many ways that we can lose friendships, but losing a friend in such a traumatic way is never a good feeling. No 2 friendships, just like no 2 loves, are ever the same. Each and every one will be different. We don't transfer our love and care from one person to another, we add love to our hearts to share.

I hope you'll find a way to make more friends close to you. It's nice to have that close-by support and people to have fun with offline. Until then, know that your sparkfriends will always care!
emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
Q8PRINCESS 8/20/2012 12:24AM

    I've had very few friends in my life. Living overseas with people who come and go so much, it's rare to find a true friend.

Report Inappropriate Comment
FLEMIDG 8/20/2012 12:22AM

    What a beautiful blog. I can so relate to it. I have lots of wonderful friends at church and of course all my wonderful Spark Friends, but I don't have anyone I am really close to that I can really talk to and tell all my troubles to. Now that my dh has passed away I am finding it very hard. I sometimes feel so alone. I am so thankful for all my wonderful Spark friends. You are a wonderful friend and I am glad to have met you. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MOTLEM 8/20/2012 12:07AM

    Great blog! emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SKIRNIR 8/19/2012 11:12PM

    I so feel like I am in the same boat. My friends didn't die or anything. I was attending and served as secretary at a church for 15 years. The church closed in August of 2011, and I still have not found a church home and a new "family" to worship with. The only people who I might call "girl friends" are from the old church, but they are quite a bit older than me. If I complain about my 14 year old and video gaming, the one looks at me and says something to the effect well you only have one. Sometimes I just want to say, well you chose to have more than one, I didn't. What is wrong with that? I get no sympathy or understanding, because I have one and that doesn't equal the pain and misery you went through having two boys and two girls. I need someone I can talk to who won't judge me. Used to be my twin was easier to talk to, but lately she doesn't want to talk to me anymore either. So I need to find a new friend, at church or somewhere else. :(

Report Inappropriate Comment
EJOY-EVELYN 8/19/2012 11:08PM

    It makes all the difference in the world when you can share a beautiful piece of God's nature with a friend who equally enjoys it. That's the kind of friend I have once a week in a city I typically spend about four months in. When I'm home, I get to visit my Dad weekly and take him somewhere along Lake Superior for a fine photo opp that I can share with family on Facebook. Here's to friends and family -- Cheers! (non-alcoholic champagne)

Report Inappropriate Comment
LOSTLIME 8/19/2012 11:07PM

    I know how you feel. My husband was in the Navy for 20 years and we moved every two years. You meet people but then lose track of them after awhile. My husband also has an easy time meeting new friends whereas I take a really long time to meet people.
Thank you for the books to read. I will look for them when I go to the bookstore.
Hope you have a great week!

Report Inappropriate Comment
COACHPENNY 8/19/2012 11:06PM

    You make me wish I lived near you, Ev. I think you are a wonderful person.

You do live in a lightly populated area but, I think it's more than that. Having lost your two good friends in FL, it must be hard. Somewhere inside, maybe you are afraid to let yourself find someone to be close to because, it's just too painful to think you might lose them.

It reminds me of line from the Garth Brooks song...."The Dance"

"Our lives are better left to chance, I could have missed the pain but, I'd had to miss the dance."

This is the original composer singing the song...........

Don't miss the dance, Ev. Join a group, a book club, historical society....even a support group for people with similar health issues. Somewhere there is someone from your pod......as my friend, Christine and I call it. When we met, we became "The Pod Sisters". It's as though we've know each other all our lives. I wish that for you, too, Ev......to find your "Pod Sister".

Report Inappropriate Comment
MARILYNS66 8/19/2012 11:03PM

    What a beautiful blogg - you nailed it completely about friends.

Hubby and I are in our 60's and we moved to a new locaton 5 year - just started our 6th year in the new city - yes we have made friends but it just seems different. Thankfully we have a good church and have made a lot of very good connections there - more so with this church than the other churches in the previous 2 cities we lived in.

But spark friends are great - I met a lady online years ago - about 10 now from Oklahoma (I am from the west coast of Canada) and the two of us meshed completely - to such an extend that 6 years ago her and her husband though not having much money drove all the way up to visit us for 1 week - loved it - she is so dear to me

Thanks for this great blog

Report Inappropriate Comment
PMFISH 8/19/2012 10:59PM

    I left all my friends that I grew up with when I was 18. Now my children are in their 50's they talk about how hard it is to make friends. Now they are in the area they grew up, but everyone is so mobile, they haven't stayed in touch as much as I have with my old gang. Of course so many of my real estate customers have become like family to me. My children are always so surprised even though I do not have a lot of close friends, that I seem to have more friends than they do. Have very few that I do things with, I don't have the patience. When I want to get some done, I usually just do it. Now that my daughter is back, it has been fun to have her. We always have a good time and laugh a lot. At my age I have to gauge my energy, so I don't get caught short and end up in trouble.

Report Inappropriate Comment
EBEAMS 8/19/2012 10:56PM

    Life is a journey of the unexpected, that's for sure. As I've started into middle age, I find that I can identify with your statements about friends that you don't have to explain things to ... it is just understood. I am blessed to have two friends like that but one is tremendously busy and the other lives in AZ now ... the other friend I had like that passed away in November. My heart continues to grieve for my loss ... but rejoices that she isn't suffering anymore. It's complicated!

Spark friendships are amazing! Sharing the struggle of almost anything is easier with a group of caring people who will gather around you and support you, no matter what. It was very uplifting to me to see your husband posting things for you on Spark People when you were so ill ... and so many people sending prayers, love and support. It isn't like being able to hug you in person, that's true but it is real and it is incredible. Thanks for being one of my Spark friends ... YOU make a difference!

Report Inappropriate Comment

First Page  1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 Last Page