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Not as open as I thought

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Always I have considered myself as an open person. There are some things I don't offer for safety's sake. After that, I share whatever I think my benefit someone or is at least worth a try. 99% of all that is from my own experiences and quite personal. However since I have started my self awareness blog prompts, I have found I'm not quite as open as I have thought.

The blog prompt is: Day 09 Ā® Someone you didnĀ't want to let go, but just
drifted. "

Answering this, I discovered this is about someone I felt deeply about and it is difficult to let anyone know just how much. Because of this, I blogged in my private journal instead. So I apologize to my buds because my intention was to share something with you about each prompt. Today I just could not do it. I know everyone will understand, but still, I feel bad about wanting to keep my feelings on this topic to myself.

Have any of you ever had a similar experience? One where your intentions were quite good, but things turned around for you in the end and you found you couldn't do it. How did it make you feel?


And now for a technical update about how SP site can't make up its mind when it lets me do which action it wants to permit. emoticon

Since Monday I have been able to huddle, but still can't post in the team forums. emoticon Yesterday I couldn't add anything to my other goals which was frustrating when trying to continue on my streaks!! One day I also could not comment on SP member pages. I also couldn't get the bonus points from the wheel and the login spinner would go so far and stop and just sit. Then it would go around again with the same outcome, finally it finished spinning and logged the points for me. This entire thing has been so frustrating I have simply wanted to scream. Most likely the entire thing is my own fault anyway. I have been praying for help being more patinent. I probably don't have to mention that I'm not much of a typist and my spell check on SP hasn't worked in months. For someone like me with typos, this is a tragedy! emoticon


Does everyone have plans for father's day this Sunday? Is it celebrated in other countries at this time, too or even celebrated at all? Bob got his presents from me early. Yeserday we picked up the blue-ray player I had chosen and today "Saharra" in blu-ray arrived in the mail. He connected the unit and watched the movie when it arrived. He was really surprised with both gifts. I want to take him for a nice dinner, but the place I want was closed to anymore reservations when I called last week. So, I asked him when he'd like to go. I didn't tell him where, but he knew! I guess that's because it is one of his favorite places, but it is a ways away and we don't go there very often. It is sort of a buffet. You have a choice of a meat, then there is a salad bar and a hot veggie table. You can order off a menu if you'd rather do that. They also have a terrific dessert bar for those who wish to have it extra. Since I can no longer eat sweets, I don't even have to think of it. However the reason people drive there from all over and Bob loves it so much is because they serve what I have been told and read reviews about is the lamb they make is the very best you can get. One lady who travels all over the world told me she had eaten in some of the finest restaurants in Europe and North America and hasn't found any lamb as good as they make. I'll take their word for it as I rarely eat meat any more. You can also chose to have salad and veggies only, too. Most likely that is what I'll do. If you only go once, but can't finish they permit you to take it home if you wish to do so. That policy works well for me since I have to test so many things to see if I can eat them. I found Ranch dressing is no longer an option for me as it burned my mouth so bad tears can to my eyes. Most of the time I use cottage cheese as a dressing. Once in a while I'll use blue cheese on the side and dip into it rather than let them go all over. I end up using a very, very little of it doing it this way.

How do y'all feel about buffet's in general? This place keeps cold things cold and warm things quite warm and change things over every hour so it is always as fresh as possible. And believe me it is all so good, most of it goes quickly and this isn't a problem. That said, I know it is at others and I refuse to eat at those.

Peace and Love and blessings to each of you. I thank you for all your love and support.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HIKETOHEIGHTS 6/24/2012 3:19PM

    My thoughts are along the lines of "To be or not to be private". Some people prefer it and I get that. I think we do need to be careful about some private details. The sad part is some people just feel the need to put everything one says or does down, no matter what. They just have an evil seed in them planted just to make trouble until they learn how to control their mouth. For that reason, we can't share everything. I respect your choice to keep somethings private. Sorry you are having some difficulty right now.

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CHERIRIDDELL 6/16/2012 11:33PM

    I tend to be fairly open but I don't know everyone seems worried about privacy these days. Then I have my page set to private cause my husband is military and often deployed so perhaps I am just trusting I figure if you are my Sparkfriend you are safe.

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EJOY-EVELYN 6/16/2012 1:08AM

    Wow . . . you have certainly probed with a wide array of questions here. 1) I am of the mind that if we do not have something good or useful for quality instruction to say that will lift people up, Ephesians 4:29 tells would discourage us from sharing. We are also reminded numerous times to become Christ-like, to be merciful, kind, forgive, slow to anger (ie murmur, grumble, and complain) . . . and through our sinfulness, must be forgiven over and over again. 2) I hope your Spark experience settles down with all the options you should have Ė itís been working fine on my end, but I have notice some recent changes. There is a thread you can find through a Spark search to let the Spark staff know you're experiencing difficulty or learn if others are also experiencing something similar. 3) Fatherís Day will be a day of worship, fellowship, and renewal in Godís word (hopefully with a cousin who comes in tonight from being away four weeks) Ė Iím hoping to spend the day with my Dad on Monday. Motherís Day became a legal holiday in the States in 1914 while Fatherís Day became legal in 1972. It really is celebrated worldwide on various dates. 4) I belong to the clean plate society (and lost 100 lbs) and only take what I know I will eat. For me, buffets and salad bars are my favorite friend as I can make such great choices and fill my plate with about 50-80% freggies. I strive to make sure my visually or physically impaired dinner companions are well taken care so that we can return again with a sense of joy.

May you have a terrific week and holiday! Godís peace be with you.

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CATHOLICCORGI 6/15/2012 8:10AM

    Morning, Ev!
I think as we age we need to learn to set boundaries as to what we share. We can still be pretty honest and up front about things, but we need to ask God for discernment as to what we share. In writing online, it is hard to show emotions, and the printed word can be misleading or misread.
My DH and I's Dad's are deceased, and we have no children, other than the Corgis. I'll go to Mass and be grateful for my "Father Ed".
I love buffets! I am fortunate that they do not "bother" me. I go check it all out and then make a nice salad. I enjoy it, then fix a plate with only two or three bites of what I like on it(I use a salad plate instead of a dinner plate). I finish with a bit of fresh fruit. We only go top one local buffet near us, and I know what is usually on it. I track what I get on my phone before I even eat. That way I make sure I am accountable. Works for me, anyway! LOL!
As to SP being weird, I haven't been able to use spell check for months now. I wrote to the SP team, and heard nothing. So I just double check it before I post. SP isn't perfect, but it has what I need to meet my goals. I work with what I have.
Hope your weekend is great!

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KARIDIAN1 6/14/2012 10:22PM

    My dad and my husbands dad have both passes away some years ago now. We will be at our Gun Club picnic on Fathers Day. For once i am not working!

I like buffets. We don't go to them very often. Mainly because since we are eating better and not as much, it's kind of a waste to pay for the buffet and then not eat a lot.

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PMFISH 6/14/2012 10:19PM

    I have been using Foxfire for Spark and have minimum problems, so you might want to give it a try.
Nothing for Father's Day - just son, but don't see him that often anymore.
Do not care for buffets, when I dine out - I want to be waited on. Guess I am just spoiled. Don't eat out as much, too hard to get foods prepared to suit my diet. Did eat out today, there is a bar-b-que place that has wonderful bar-b-que chicken breast, great cole slaw and of all things cornbread pudding. Very small serving of cornbread pudding is dessert.
Don't know if you can eat tuna fish, but have discovered you can use Greek yogurt instead of mayonnaise, hard boiled egg and diced onions for a great tuna salad. Enjoy Father's Day with DH.

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LINDA! 6/14/2012 9:08PM

    Enjoy your Fathers Day weekend. Uncertain what I am doing for hubby. Both of our fathers have been deceased for years.

Take care! emoticon

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COACHPENNY 6/14/2012 9:16AM

    Ev, I think with age comes wisdom and some reticence. I used to be an open book and to some degree, still am. But, sometimes regret for over sharing would leave me feeling that I gave too much away. We do need some secrets.

Buffets.....I used to love but, just can't do them anymore. I end up feeling too full which I guess, is a good thing LOL!

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BUSYGRANNY5 6/14/2012 8:39AM

    I enjoyed reading your blog! I am a fairly open person, however I'm not open to the point that I am able (willing) to share too much on an open forum, instead I strive to reach a balance, sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't... kind of like a ride on a teeter totter!!

Have a great day!

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SANDRALEET 6/14/2012 7:33AM

    I will pray that God will help you with what ever is troubling you.

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JESSIG5 6/14/2012 5:52AM

    I also have a problem with accounting for streaks with Spark. It says that my streak for logging in is six days and I know I have logged in every day. for weeks.

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TDWANDD2MYK9 6/14/2012 5:07AM

    I have issues with SP privacy, so am defiantly not as open as I used to be, it's just not safe! You are looking fabulous. emoticon

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DMF2012 6/14/2012 4:58AM

    Your problems with SP may be the browser you're using. Try using Firefox (can download for free)

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JAMER123 6/14/2012 12:45AM

    I do have many things I am not open about. Some I will take to my grave before I share any of it. I think everyone has something they feel just can't be shared even though it may not be healthy to hold back.

Buffets; I enjoy them immensely as one can take a little taste of many things or try something new without having to order it or make it at home just to toss it out because you didn't like it. That said, I almost always over eat and then get mad at myself for doing it because I know better. Then I go again at a later date doing the same thing so I tend to try to stay away from them.

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NIGHTOWLKIM 6/14/2012 12:38AM

  I have problems openingn up too. It's hard finding that balance between wanting to be open and wanting to maintain your privacy.

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FLEMIDG 6/14/2012 12:35AM

    Sorry for all the problems you are having with the Spark site. I hope the problems get resolved for you. Sounds like a nice day planned for Father's Day. Hope you have a good time.

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Q8PRINCESS 6/14/2012 12:16AM

    There's lots of things I'm not very open about. LIving overseas you find out quickly. You do learn to let go of some things because you find they didn't really matter in the first place. Also people come and go in and out of your life and all you can do is keep moving forward.

I have not been able to upload any photos for months. Had one of Lucy Bella's summer haircut but after 3 months, I gave up trying.

Buffets can be nice depending on what they are serving. I like strange combination of foods so sometimes it suits me. The most important rule is not to over eat. When travelling I've run into some buffets that I couldn't find much I wanted to even eat. I do like a nice well prepared sit down dinner, especially when you get all dressed up for it.

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As promised with pics

Saturday, June 09, 2012

Well, I promised a story about my new jeans, so here goes.....

My size 10's were really loose, so I thought I'd try on a size 8. The size 8 was big, too!! So I went straight froma 10 to a 6!! I'm really truly out of double digits and I do believe it will be forever!! emoticon

Me with Dr Mark - the one who is leaving

Tell me what you think.

Everything is going well and I believe I'll be getting my computer issues with Spark fixed fairly soon as I'm already getting some things back these past two days. Yay!!

Peace, love and blessings to all my Spark buds.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LOSTLIME 6/13/2012 7:46PM

    You're looking good!!!!!!!!!!!!! Great job!!!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MIRAGE727 6/13/2012 8:20AM

    I was just thinking of you, Ev! Fabulous determination! Stay strong!

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TRACYZABELLE 6/12/2012 5:56AM

    WOOHOO! Look at yoU!

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OPALMOON 6/11/2012 3:42AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CHERIRIDDELL 6/10/2012 9:55PM

    You look amazing Ev !

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PMCFARM 6/10/2012 9:11PM

  You are looking so GREAT emoticon emoticon emoticon

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PIMPINELLAN50 6/10/2012 8:22PM

    Looking good Ev! emoticon emoticon

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MOM2ACAT 6/10/2012 3:17PM

    That is awesome! You look great!

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MUSOLF6 6/10/2012 7:46AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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WOLF648 6/10/2012 6:14AM

  emoticon emoticon

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IAM_HIS2 6/10/2012 5:04AM

    What a wonderful victory!!

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MOTLEM 6/10/2012 1:25AM

    I think size 6 jeans in US is size 8 or 10 in Australia. Wow, that is so awesome... you ROCK, girlfriend!!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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EJOY-EVELYN 6/10/2012 1:20AM

    Congrats on the great new sizing! What a great accomplishment you've made in reaching your goals!

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SANDRALEET 6/9/2012 9:09PM

    You my dear look wonderful Happiness and peace to you.

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KARIDIAN1 6/9/2012 9:01PM

    Congrats on the size 6 jeans. You look great. Are you a Twilight fan?

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YELLOWMOM 6/9/2012 9:01PM

    Way to go Ev!! You are such an inspiration!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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12 years ago on D-Day

Wednesday, June 06, 2012

Today is D-day for Americans. 12 years ago on this date, Bob and I met face-to-face for the very first time!! So it is an anniversary of sorts for us. I had a therapy appointment today and when he mentioned it to my doctor, he said his wife is the same way and he concedes to her and they celebrate.

Before I tell about other things, I have to mention after three plus years, I'm going to be getting a new doctor for my therapy and I'm not going to see him until the end of August. My doctor now is moving across the state and I must say, I'm going to miss him tremendously. He was my fourth doctor at Shands and we clicked immediately. When he left the part of Shands where I was a patient, he took me with him to another part of UF where he stayed until now.
To tell you an example why I liked him so much is when I was going through all my treatments and couldn't get to see him, he had Bob email him a weekly update on how I was doing. Then when I had to go to the hospital and they needed info on his records, he text messaged with Bob to be sure they got the right info right away!! I have said it before, but I have had the greatest doctors caring for me. They all get to know us and personally interact with us and that is simply unheard of in these days.

We had a celebration of sorts. We went to Red Lobster for lunch. There was way too much food and all I could handle was a cup of soup, most of my salad, and one bite from my entree, and nothing at all of my dessert! Needless to say, I stayed within my nutritional tracker points for the day.

It was another day with an upset stomach, too. I wish I could locate the triggers, but I can't seem to do it as it is so random - even with the time of day.
We stopped at a Walgrens to get some medicine to help me feel better. We stayed until I did and it put us home later than normal, but it was still light out.

Bob even gave me an anniversary present or two or three!! A new blouse, a new pair of jeans that I'll blog about later in the week, and a bookmark that is breast cancer positive words in holigram form. Everything is really nice, but that bookmark is beautiful!!

When we first met on that fateful D-Day, I was visiting my friend in the Twin Cities and he drove from just south of International Falls to meet me! I was with C and her hubby at the time and I had my former Sgt. check him out with his local PD. Sometimes it's good to have been in law enforcement! Anyway, I wasn't afraid of meeting him nor being alone with him. When I first saw him I knew right away who he was. We were both nervous and like teenagers, blushing like crazy! But I have to say, we were driving from the airport to C's home and when I asked him to stop, he did so right away and I knew I loved him and he was THE one!! You see, my ex never stopped on a trip unless we needed gas or he wanted to - it never matter about what I wanted or needed for that matter. So this was a very welcomed change.

When I think about how quickly everything happened between us, I'm amazed. He has been wonderful to me and for me. I'm sure most of us feel our husbands are special, but I'm lucky because I know mine is. My entire family feel the same way and have told me how happy they are to see me laugh and smile so much and how they know by the way he treats me that he really loves me.

It's late and I need to finish here and do some emails, then get some rest.

Thank you all for being my buds. I am so blessed to have all of you along with such a good man. God really knew what he was doing when He brought all of us together. Just as Bob came into my life when I needed him most, so have all of you. This journey wouldn't have been quite so successful for me without any of you.

Peace and love to each SP Bud.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

1CRAZYDOG 6/9/2012 9:45AM

    What a sweet story. Thanks for sharing it. Happy anniversary! HUGS!

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LOSTLIME 6/8/2012 7:18AM

    Happy Anniversary! Thank you for sharing your blog with us.

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KARIDIAN1 6/7/2012 10:46PM

    Happy Anniversary and for sharing your meeting with us.

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    Happy Anniversary and Congratulations on your happiness. You are living the dream!

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MOM2ACAT 6/7/2012 3:33PM

    Happy Anniversary!

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GATORJOY 6/7/2012 3:19PM

    Thanks for sharing....

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OPALMOON 6/7/2012 12:16PM

    Thanks for sharing your lovely story about DH! I very much hope that your new doctor will be just as good as the one who is leaving. It really makes a difference when one can have a rapport with a caring person in the medical profession.

Hugs and blessings, Nattacia


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MUSOLF6 6/7/2012 7:25AM


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TRACYZABELLE 6/7/2012 6:38AM

    What a nice anniversary and for someone else to celebrate theirs is sweet too!!

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1STATEOFDENIAL 6/7/2012 2:15AM

    As for the stomach pains, remember that it takes 24-48 hours for food to go from one end of the body to the other, so just because you have abdominal pain and can't figure out what you had just eaten to cause it, there's a possibility that something you ate 2 days earlier is what is actually causing the problem. So whenever you have pains, look back over the past 2 days and see what you've eaten, then do so again the next time, and the next, etc. If there's something in common then that could be the culprit.

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SHOES17 6/7/2012 1:17AM


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EJOY-EVELYN 6/7/2012 12:08AM

    How refreshing to see thanksgiving and appreciation even when conditions are not prime. Praise God from whom all blessings flow!

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Q8PRINCESS 6/6/2012 11:42PM

    Love hearing how you meet. Wonderful you are still together. Happy Anniversary!

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CHERIRIDDELL 6/6/2012 11:38PM

    Oh Ev what a lovely heartwarming story I feel you deserve your dear husband you are such a wonderful person.I may have only known you on Spark but you feel like a friend.Your positive attitude shines through and some days you are my inspiration.I am thankful to have a friend like you! hugs,Cheri

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....and the wind got my hair

Monday, June 04, 2012

It was windy today, but Bob had his camera with him and wanted to take some pictures. The wind really tossed my hair around and it doesn't look good at all. But some of my sparkbuds asked to see it and me in my size 10, so here you go! The t-shirt I'm wearing says "If you think a mammogram is scary, try finding a lump"!!

This isn't very long tonight but I have had another upset tummy. This is occurring about three times a week and I'm tired of it!!

Without further ado, here is my picture taken this morning. I'm getting into our Gator mobile. When Bob was finished with the pictures (there are two more), he came and stood behind me to help me into the truck. My knees still give me trouble and somedays I need the extra help.

Peace and love to all my buds. I love all of you.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    You are a hottie for sure!

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SARAWMS48 6/7/2012 9:07AM

    Wow! You look like a naturally thin woman.

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MISSCUS 6/6/2012 8:25AM

    You look good! I get the upset stomach about 3 times a week too so I can comiserate with you on that. I don't know why I get it either. I tried to watch what food causes it but I still cannot pinpoint the triggerfood.
Maintain well friend!

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DRUIDPRINCESS 6/5/2012 10:49PM

    You look awesome! Congratulations on looking so svelte and working hard to achieve it! Hope I look as good as you one day!
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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GATORJOY 6/5/2012 5:59PM

    You look nice! I love being thin, don't you?

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MOM2ACAT 6/5/2012 5:58PM

    I think you look beautiful!

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SANDRALEET 6/5/2012 9:30AM

    Peace and health to you my friend.

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TRACYZABELLE 6/5/2012 6:26AM

    love the step!!

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CAROLIAN 6/5/2012 3:55AM

    You are looking GREAT love the T shirt emoticon emoticon

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OPALMOON 6/5/2012 12:36AM

    You look amazing, Ev! Way to go. Sorry to hear about the tummy upsets though - I sure hope they settle down soon. Take care - hugs and blessings, Nattacia


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GRAMMAP1 6/5/2012 12:27AM

    Wow! You are oine streamlined Gal. Great job! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CHERIRIDDELL 6/4/2012 11:45PM

    Ev you look wonderful ! Your tee shirt is brilliant too!

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EBEAMS 6/4/2012 10:55PM

    You look fabulous ... and I can't see any wind at all emoticon! I'm with PuffPastry ... great looking abdomen area! NICE job!

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KARIDIAN1 6/4/2012 10:44PM

    Ev, you look great. emoticon

And I love the saying that you have on your shirt. Hope you enjoyed your windy day.

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PUFFPASTRY 6/4/2012 10:16PM

    I am trying NOT to be jealous of your extremely flat stomach...not jealous...not jealous....oh, I give up. I'm jealous. emoticon

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Some SP Buds

Saturday, June 02, 2012

Often times in my status update I'll say to smile a lot or not to forget to make someone happy. I decided that today would be a great day to say "thank you" to some of my SPBuds. I'll do more at another time as I have so many that are always so good to me. These aren't in any particular order.

Coachpenny: She and I have so much in common and have so much virtual fun. It is nice to have someone to "talk" to that you don't have to be afraid of what you say.

Puffpastry: She is always first to give support when I'm having a bad day. She also keeps me updated as to what is happening in MN.

Connielynn11: She never fails to leave me a comment when I cross fitness lines.

Cheririddell: We share a love of scrapbooking and animals. She can make me smile a lot.

Hiketoheights: We also share the love of scrapbooking and dogs. She's just a sweet person and very thoughtful.

Hickok Haley: She keeps me in awe over her beautiful photos. She is also like Bob and me in rescue dogs. They are the best!!

Kaseycoff: She is a fun person and so encouraging with her messages about doing blogs.

Adam2298: He's another Bud who always leaves me a comment of encouragement about my fitness points. He is such a giving man. I asked if he had any Eastern European recipes to share and he sent me three files of them!!!

Trjegold: Helped me to understand my tonsil cancer and let me know what to expect as her father was also going through it when I first got my diagnosis. He passed away not long after he finished his treatments from something very rare and she was keeping it from me as she didn't want ME to worry!!

Thank you my dear friends. I'd be lost without you. Each of you is important to me and a huge part of my life.

Peace and love to all.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    Awe, you are so sweet. I just now saw this & it put a big old smile on my face that you thought of me. Right back at you too! emoticon

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CHERIRIDDELL 6/5/2012 10:57PM

    What a lovely Blog,thank you for your kindness!

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EJOY-EVELYN 6/5/2012 3:03PM

    Beautifully said! Reminds me of part of my favorite set of passages ". . . give thanks in all circumstances; for this is Godís will for you in Christ Jesus." (1 Thessalonians 5:18). Hope you have a fabulous week!

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PUFFPASTRY 6/4/2012 10:20PM

    Aw! Ironically, I'm seeing this 2 days late. Thanks, Ev! You're so sweet! Speaking of MN, it is CRAZY over here -- it's so over-the-top summery you'd think you were in Miami if you walked around any of the lakes. Teeny bikinis and bare chests SWARMING over every inch of grass, path and lake shore. I don't think I've ever seen Minneapolis residents looking so very bare in such massive numbers. I guess everyone wants a tan!
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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COACHPENNY 6/4/2012 1:24PM

    We are like butterflies to the flower......you!

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GRAMMAP1 6/3/2012 11:38PM

    What would we do without our Sparkbuds? I can relate very well to you post. Being encouraged feels so good and so does being the encourager. What a blessing. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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OPALMOON 6/3/2012 2:30AM

    Hi Ev, it's amazing how supportive SP friends are! A bit of encouragement can go a long way. Have a wonderful weekend.


Hugs and blessings, Nattacia

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1STATEOFDENIAL 6/2/2012 11:45PM

    SP is a great place to find great support and wonderful people.

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KARIDIAN1 6/2/2012 7:35PM

    Looks like you have some awesome Sparkbuds.

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