Thursday, May 17, 2012
#8 question in my self discovery blog: Someone who has treated you badly.
In this blog I am talking about my experiences and am not trying to be hurtful or judgemental of anyone and their beliefs.
There is a woman in Wisconsin I have called "friend" for over 15 years. She was vital in Bob and I meeting. A few years ago she was going through a divorce and we even offered her a house to live in until she could get on her feet. She didn't want to leave her son and his family. He is studying to be a Luthern youth minister. She, too is Luther and considers herself very much a Christian and quite religious.
Now I rarely talk about my religious or political views. However I must do so to get the point across how hurtful, hateful, and mean what happened was. To me being Christian is to be as Christ like as is possible. No one can ever achieve being totally sinless because we are humans. I consider myself a Christian, too. I have gone to church since my earliest memories. When I started to college, I went to a Methodist sponsored college and my major was Christian Education. I don't always agree with my church's views on social issues, but that is only a small part as far as I'm concerned. Never do I judge anyone for their beliefs. I was always taught we are all more alike than we are different.
Never in my voting years have I missed an election nor have I ever voted a straight party ticket. I look at the candidates and see which ones back the issues which are most important to me. Because of social isssues, I am a registered democrate. Once more, I may not agree with everything the party says and I try to be respectful of others beliefs. I know around election time there are lots of jokes that go around about all of the candidates, even the ones I support. I laugh along with most of them, too.
Now back to my friend. She is on facebook and constantly writing things that are totally out of line. A lot of it is name calling and most of it is against our
President. To me this isn't very Christian. She'll do the name calling in one post and in the very next talk about going to church. Actually she probably needs to go more than anyone! I know I pray for her and her hurtful ways. I have been able to overlook a lot of what she says and just not read if I see the way it is going. This week she had a post that was one sentence:
"ALL demorats (yes, that isn't a typo) are communists."
This shocked me. She knows a number of her friends are democrats and I just don't understand how she could write such a thing! Not only was it hurtful, but it was hateful and down right mean, too!!
Needless to say, I haven't mailed or called her since this appeared. I don't know if I ever can again. I won't be disrespectful, but I doubt I'll ever be as close with her as I have been in the past.
You might think that is the end of it, but noooo! Today she wrote another one liner:
"To be a liberal you are against God and aren't one bit patriotic or Christian."
As I said, it's hurtful, hateful, and down right mean. And I'm about sick of people talking like this. So now the story is finished and I think this is the worst I've ever been treated. In the past we've always agreed to disagree and neither of us talked about these subjects.
Take care my friends and don't ever let anyone try to take control of your life by the things they say or do. Place yourself above that and if you believe they are in the wrong, pray for them. Like me, if you feel disrespected and lose trust, be an adult and speak to them, just keep your distance.
Peace and Love to all my Buds,
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
I have been working on some genealogy lately since the 1940 census has been released. Doing so has made me stop and think about where my roots are. I have been in contact with my cousin and she has shared some pictures with me and I have had some of my own. I hadn't looked at these for a long while and I had forgotten a few things.
My great grandfather had two sisters who never married and were seamstresses. Looking at a picture of the entire family circa 1865, I discovered how heavy they were. In other pictures I noticed my great grandmother was heavy, too. I never knew my paternal grandmother, but in the one picture I found, she was heavy, too. My dad had his tummy and had to lose weight before he could have his open heart surgery. With three generations having weight issues, I can't help but wonder if when I was so inactive part of my weight gain was heiredity. Did I really stand a chance? But then I thought further.
My being heavy had nothing to do with ancestors. I did it to myself with every unhealthy, high fat, sugary foods I put in my mouth. Not to mention how much of it at one sitting!! I have to own my bad habits. I can't blame them on anyone else. There have been some physical limitations with exercise, but with the help of Spark and my chair team I have been able to overcome a lot of those, too. The thing is, if we can control whatever hinders us, we need to do it! If it is out of our control, we need to find ways to try to alter around those to be able to do some moving, food choices, etc.
Looking back on my family I discovered lots of interesting things I had forgotten. My maternal grandfather was born in 1876, the year of the 100th anniversary of the US. My maternal grandmother was born in 1879. I knew them well and spent a lot of time with them. When they were born, there was still a "wild west" and we weren't that far removed from the American civil war. My grandfather was in the Spanish American War. All of this amazes me. I have come to realize the stories they told me were all true. The neat part is, I have been able to prove those stories.
This has little to do with the 1940's cencus except both of my parents were living at home when it was taken. My grandfather died in 1963 and my grandmother in 1972. Oh, the things they saw in their lifetimes. I can only hope that changing to a healthy lifestyle, losing weight, and learning to exercise, I can live as long and healthy life as they.
Peace and love to all my Spark buds. Blessings to you all. I love you!
Saturday, May 12, 2012
This is my mother's story and what she went through after my brother and having me. She has been gone since July 1998, but lives on in my heart. Thank you, Mama for all you did for me. I love you.
The woman stood by the crib watching her daughter in slumber. She was still amazed with the miracle of the tiny bundle before her. The bright blue eyes gave the promise of not changing color. The soft down on her head was so blonde she looked bald. The woman chuckled to herself thinking how often she had to explain that indeed, this was a girl child.
Assuring herself that all was well, she sat down in the rocker for a little rest herself. As she covered herself with an afghan, her mind wandered to another January five years earlier. It was then that her struggle to have her little girl really began.
It was six weeks since Pearl Harbor. The entire country was in turmoil. Her mother insisted that she be at her family’s farm for the birth of her child. It was too risky for her to be alone at such a time. The old country doctor lived near by and could be summoned quickly should there be a problem. The birth went well and she and her new son returned to town with her husband.
The boy was fine, but she was not. Most of the doctors were now gone to service and the few that were in the area were over worked and tired. The one she managed to see would look at her breast and send her home. The infection got so bad her husband took her to the hospital. The nurses told him all would be fine and sent him off to work. Several hours later the doctor told her she would need to be put to sleep so the infection could be drained and the pain would stop.
When the woman awoke from her surgery, she realized she was alone. She also somehow became aware her breast had been removed. “Dear Lord,” she said. “I am only twenty-seven years old. What am I to do?” There was no one there to answer her, only the painful silence of being alone. It was to take a year before she would be well physically and emotionally. The love and support of her family helped her to overcome.
The war was all but over and she really wanted another child. Her doctor told her she shouldn’t have any more. Her husband said he was happy with their son and did not want her to risk her life. She and her mother quarreled over the issue. In the end, it just happened. Her pregnancy had no problems and the delivery was smooth. Both she and her daughter were fine.
The baby stirred and the woman awoke from her reverie. Her son would soon be home from school and her husband from work. As she reached for the little girl, they both smiled at each other. They would have that special bond all the days of the woman’s life.
Blessings to all my SP friends who are mothers. Enjoy your special day tomorrow.
Peace and love to all,
Friday, May 11, 2012
Today as I had my weekly Friday weigh-in, and I saw the results, I realized that I have lost an entire person! Today I weighed in at 127 and have lost 128!! Knowing how I feel now, I can't imagine that I carried around this person! I think I'll name her - Kathy! Hey, if I can name my power chairs, I certainly name the person I used to carry around with me.
When I started Spark I was at 255 pounds. I never thought I could get below 200 again let alone in the 120's. I have always been big. When I was 10 and starting sixth grade, each of us was weighed and measured. I was 5'4" and weighed 124 pounds!! I was never that weight again. When I graduated, I was 5'5.5" and 130. When I married the first time at 19 I was at 5'6" and 126 pounds. Then living on an army pay check and a clerk's salary, I gained to 145.
Everything went up from there.
I have found I enjoy good food. My aunt used to have a huge garden and would freeze corn, green beans, and waxed beans for us. Then she would also give us those things fresh along with lettuce, radish, broccoli, tomatos and cucumbers. I'm back with all those except corn and radishes. Corn is next on my list to try. With so many teeth pulled before radiation, I can't make it on the cob. I have asked Bob to grill it and we can take it off the cob and it should be fantastic. I had forgotten how good all of this could be. When I started going through all the tastes being so yukie, about all I could handle was salads. Cottage cheese was another, so I would use it for my dressing. I'm so glad I have been able to add more foods, but there are many I miss. I have to admit that water still tastes like salt was put in it, but I still drink it with lemon to cut that salty taste. It has been many years since I added salt to anything. We also use sea salt when we cook and always use about 1/4 of what is called for in the recipe. Depending on the other foods involved, I'll not even use it.
Exercise I could barely do. I spent so much time in my chair, I thought it was impossible for me. Then I joined SP and was recommended to check out the chair exercise team. I did and joined. It was the best thing I did after joining the site itself. Then I discovered Coach Nicole has a series of videos working in a chair! For the most part my program includes some walking although some days I have to use my walker. Then most others are videos for in chair or some of the challenge ones. Most I do are on the floor and some standing that use the light weights and bands. I would love to add several other items to this and change it up a bit.
Along with the support and encouragement from my Spark People friends and those on my teams, this program, and simply trying to put it all together to take those first baby step has helped me to be so close to goal (120). Now Kathy can go away for good. I hope I never have to see her again in my life!!
Peace, love, and blessings to all my SP Buds.
Monday, May 07, 2012
Today I received a goodie with the nicest note included. The note was so meaningful to me that I was both stunned and happy. And yes, my eyes teared and I could barely speak to tell Bob why. I received this right when I needed it the very most. I truly believe we receive what we need and when we need it. It is taken care of by God and not by us. The journey we are on in life is the path He has chosen for us. We still have the power to make decisions, but He knows the outcome.
In this note the sender noted about my weight loss, my cancer journeys, and how my blogs were inspirational to her. You know, sometimes I feel that writing what comes to mind doesnn't really help anyone but me and a few friends who have similar issues. Now I know I am actually touching others with my words. Yes that stunned me. Yes that made me happy. Yes, I had tears in my eyes because of it all.
It is difficult for me to remember how much I have told about my weight loss/healthy living journey. The cancer ones seemed to take over because they were so much a part of my daily life for so long. Today is for my Spark journey.
When I started Spark in 2008, I weighted in at 260. When I came back in April of 2010, I was at 255. That's right - 5 pounds in two years. This is not a good thing. But still I didn't do much other than try a few of the recipes. In August 2010 I became really serious about it all. At this time I was down to 245. I had to admit with only a slight change I had lost more than I had in two years. And I wasn't really trying! That is what amazed me. I was trying to change my lifestyle in order to help me walk again on my own and to know my food was better for my body. I had quit smoking 14 years before and I did it cold turkey. I know how hard that was, so I knew these changes were going to take time, but I really felt it was worth it for me. Bob was diagnosed with Type II diabetes and I knew this lifestyle would help him, too. He now walks about four miles every morning and hasn't had to have meds for about 3 months!! I'm so proud of him!! But, back to my journey. By the time I had my first surgery for the breast cancer, I had dropped some more weight - I was at 230 - and had gone from 5 minutes of daily exercise to 20 minutes. I tried to add 5 minutes every week or sometimes two weeks. I had started tracking both my food and exercise daily as often as I could.
My first goal I set for myself was to be under 200, so I made it 195. I didn't make that until Sept '11. The first round of radiation, I lost almost 10 pounds. Even being tired, I managed to get in at least 5 minutes of cardio daily. I was able to this by using a lot of the information I received from the Chair Team. I also lost during the six weeks before the tonsil cancer was found. This time, they didn't want me to lose any weight if I could help it. It wasn't much of a problem when I had to go a feeding tube during the second week. At the end of July 2011, I was at 215. I had to stay on the feeding tube for about six more weeks, and went down to 199. Did I ever do the Happy Dance as best I could. By the first week in Sept. I was at that first goal of 195.
My next goal I set for 160 and the third for 140. When I reached that one, I set yet a fourth for 120. Right now I am at 128 and new size 10 jeans fit perfectly!!
I feel if I stay between 128 and 132 I'll be fine. 130 would be perfect for me, really. Where I am has made me feel good and I could move really well until this past week or so - starting with that fall. I can still do exercise in the chair and on the floor. I do a sort of marching holding on to my walker usually during commercials of my favorite TV programs.
Now I wouldn't be perfectly honest if I said I did this totally on my own. In the fall of 2011, I became very ill and was in the hospital about twice every month. I had a poisoning that caused an infection. I couldn't hold anything down and I couldn't even swallow my meds. If I did manage to get them down, they came right back up. During that time, I did lose more than the 1-2 pounds I had been up until then. Those three months accounted for 20 pounds off rather than the 15 I would have on my own. But I wasn't exercising, so that could be considered more when that is considered. When I got out of the hospital I was weighed and I was at 143. That was Dec.16, 2011.
So here I am and Friday the 4th was when I weighed in at 128 pounds. The weight loss has been like the icing on the cake so to speak. But I enjoy the new way of eating that Bob and I have. Portion control was a big challenge, but one I have under control. I'm content with three scallops rather than 6. Low sodium fqat-free broth rather than noodle soup. The list goes on and on. And I especially enjoy following Coach Nicole's videos.
It is doubtful I'll ever stop tracking, being on teams, and blogging. It's a given that I won't ever stop giving support to anyone I know needs it, just as I include all my Spark buds in need in my daily prayers.
This journey hasn't always been easy. The weight didn't come on in a year or two, it took a few years and major events to do that. Nor did I become housebound over night. It has taken a lot of work and sticking to things, even when I messed up. It has taken overtwo years to get it together enough to get where I am today. But the challenge has been so worth it in the sense I feel so very much better. My self esteem no longer takes a hit like it did before. Now my doctor is telling me NOT to lose more! And I have even been called "small" for the very first time in my life!! Now I'm in search for a new bra. The ones I've had to get are too big and there is nothing left to hold me in, if you know what I mean!! And that, my dear friends, can be an embarrassment!!
When I started in April 2010
31 Dec 2010
21 March 2011
12 March 2012
If my story helps someone here on Spark, I'll be so happy. Please ask if you have any questions for me. And thank you to the one who gave me the goodie with the note. You know who you are!!!!
Love, Peace and Blessings to all.
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