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Hateful and mean

Thursday, May 17, 2012

#8 question in my self discovery blog: Someone who has treated you badly.

In this blog I am talking about my experiences and am not trying to be hurtful or judgemental of anyone and their beliefs.


There is a woman in Wisconsin I have called "friend" for over 15 years. She was vital in Bob and I meeting. A few years ago she was going through a divorce and we even offered her a house to live in until she could get on her feet. She didn't want to leave her son and his family. He is studying to be a Luthern youth minister. She, too is Luther and considers herself very much a Christian and quite religious.

Now I rarely talk about my religious or political views. However I must do so to get the point across how hurtful, hateful, and mean what happened was. To me being Christian is to be as Christ like as is possible. No one can ever achieve being totally sinless because we are humans. I consider myself a Christian, too. I have gone to church since my earliest memories. When I started to college, I went to a Methodist sponsored college and my major was Christian Education. I don't always agree with my church's views on social issues, but that is only a small part as far as I'm concerned. Never do I judge anyone for their beliefs. I was always taught we are all more alike than we are different.

Never in my voting years have I missed an election nor have I ever voted a straight party ticket. I look at the candidates and see which ones back the issues which are most important to me. Because of social isssues, I am a registered democrate. Once more, I may not agree with everything the party says and I try to be respectful of others beliefs. I know around election time there are lots of jokes that go around about all of the candidates, even the ones I support. I laugh along with most of them, too.

Now back to my friend. She is on facebook and constantly writing things that are totally out of line. A lot of it is name calling and most of it is against our
President. To me this isn't very Christian. She'll do the name calling in one post and in the very next talk about going to church. Actually she probably needs to go more than anyone! I know I pray for her and her hurtful ways. I have been able to overlook a lot of what she says and just not read if I see the way it is going. This week she had a post that was one sentence:

"ALL demorats (yes, that isn't a typo) are communists."

This shocked me. She knows a number of her friends are democrats and I just don't understand how she could write such a thing! Not only was it hurtful, but it was hateful and down right mean, too!!

Needless to say, I haven't mailed or called her since this appeared. I don't know if I ever can again. I won't be disrespectful, but I doubt I'll ever be as close with her as I have been in the past.

You might think that is the end of it, but noooo! Today she wrote another one liner:

"To be a liberal you are against God and aren't one bit patriotic or Christian."

As I said, it's hurtful, hateful, and down right mean. And I'm about sick of people talking like this. So now the story is finished and I think this is the worst I've ever been treated. In the past we've always agreed to disagree and neither of us talked about these subjects.

Take care my friends and don't ever let anyone try to take control of your life by the things they say or do. Place yourself above that and if you believe they are in the wrong, pray for them. Like me, if you feel disrespected and lose trust, be an adult and speak to them, just keep your distance.

Peace and Love to all my Buds,

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CITYZOZO 5/21/2012 9:00PM

    i think i would remind her how kind you were to her and then explain gently how you don't know if your friendship can continue or try to work it out and get out your feelings even if she doesn't get it.. you could write it in a letter.. that is pretty bold.. oh my i'm sorry.. why can't we have differences.. when did it become so raw?

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ANARIE 5/21/2012 1:08AM

    Have you let her know that you're offended? It would take a lot of courage to tell her, and I don't blame you if you don't, because it could easily turn ugly. But I think a lot of people who say, "All XYZ's are ABC" just don't think about the fact that XYZs are PEOPLE, real people, just like themselves.

I actually saw this in my own father when I (and he) was younger. He would say some really racist things, but if anyone ever named a person he knew who belonged to the group he'd been slamming, it would completely flummox him. He just had to meet one person (or have it pointed out that he knew one) from the group he "hated," and he would stop hating them. It took about 15 years of his kids introducing him to their friends of all races and religions and orientations, but he really did change. He really does see people as individuals, not groups.

If you think this woman has good in her, you just might want to tell her, quietly, "I am a Democrat and I am not a communist. I am-- or was-- the friend who offered you a home when you were at the lowest point of your life."

And THEN unfriend her.

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PURPLESPEDCOW 5/20/2012 7:28PM

    I agree with you. Christians need to lead by example. She isn't.

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HIKETOHEIGHTS 5/20/2012 7:10PM

    I wish I could say I am shocked or surprised. Mean people just shock me & they come in all shapes & sizes and yes, even Christians can be mean. I have seen people in all walks of life be cruel but never as much as in this country when our president took office. The cruelty just spread like a wild fire. Did not get it when it started and I don't get it now. We need to invent a spray that will spread kindness & carry it in our pockets emoticon

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PUDLECRAZY 5/20/2012 4:53AM

    It is so sad how people can be so hostile toward other people's religions, political beliefs, race, and yes, sexual orientation. What makes us human, interesting, unique are not only the things we share but our differences. The current religious and political climate is very hostile - gone are the days when people could have an honest discussion about either without fear of hatred coming back at them.

Funny about the political scene: the thing that makes our country great is that it is NOT a one party system. Our government was built on the premise that many different opinions and approaches make it work; not the other way around. Checks and balances.

Funny thing about religion: the basic premiss of most religious beliefs are violated as soon as people start being hateful to others instead of compassionate.

I have 'unfriended' people on Facebook, not for their differences of opinions, but for hatefulness. I just don't need that in my life. It is more important to have people in our lives who share kindness, support, generosity, and love. It is important to take stock of friendships and relationships. There are those worth nurturing and those which can be let go as people change.

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COACHPENNY 5/20/2012 1:19AM

    I'm sorry, Ev that your friend has disappointed you so.

I don't know why the extremists have seemed to taken over. It's almost as if an alien ship landed and replaced a whole lot of people (that we know and love) with some other life form. I too, try to avoid the subject except for specific forums (such as teams here where we debate issues). I do not send negative political forwards and ask that they not be sent to me

I am a moderate. I use to vote for the person and voted both sides of the aisle for many years even though I find myself mostly aligned with the Democrats. Slowly over the last decade or so, that has changed. I find myself disgusted with the tactics of the extreme right which seems to have taken over reasonable conservatives. It started with President Clinton and became much worse when President Obama was running. I always felt and still feel that he is a moderate. Living in Illinois, I watched as his political career unfolded and I was always impressed by him.

In our neighboring state of Indiana a long time conservative icon, Sen. Dick Lugar was defeated in the primary by a tea party candidate. WHY? Because Dick Lugar worked and compromised across the aisle to get things accomplished for America. His opponent promises to compromise....NEVER!

An old friend of mine, who was a Young Republican in HS and a staunch conservative most of his life, voted for Obama. He told me that he didn't leave the Republican party, The Republican party left him.

I'm not saying there are no far lefties on the liberal side. There are those who think Obama hasn't done enough. To that I say, in today's climate, it's remarkable that he's accomplished anything at all. It makes me sad when people I love say such horrible things about President Obama and I try not engage with them on this subject. I have however, become much more militant in my responses to unreasonable people who engage on political forums and teams.

Before this last election, I had never participated in a political debate forum online. When I stumbled upon this hatred and anti Obama rhetoric, I was shocked out of my complacency and joined the fray. As a Christian, I am offended by those who slam him in God's name. I continue to support our President and pray for his re-election.

Peace to you, Ev.

Comment edited on: 5/20/2012 1:21:30 AM

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MISSCUS 5/19/2012 9:38AM

    We pick our friends, and sometimes they become not so friendly. Busygranny said it right, block her on FB so you don't have to see her hurtful comments. Dirty politics has always been around since politics began. Not much you can do that would sway her, she has fixed views and shares them on FB. I blocked my youngest sister because of something similar but about another family member.

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EJOY-EVELYN 5/19/2012 9:14AM

    I, too, have a rather radical evangelical Christian who will say some of the most unloving things. She believes you cannot be a democrat and a Christian simultaneously. We are no longer "close" friends but share close friends who prefer not to upset the applecart (so to speak).

To be Christ-like is to be able to share your differing views while remaining kind. Christ was compassionate to his father's will when he talked with people who were living in sin. I so love the stories and parables, too. Showing a level of hatefulness will lose you good friends. It's very difficult to not be offended, but we can't let it cause us ungodly behavior (if at all possible). Stand up in the name of Christ and love. Do continue to pray for her.

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LINDA! 5/18/2012 8:50PM

    Ev, I agree. People are so mean spirited anymore. I don't affiliate with either party. I like some of the beliefs of the Republicans and the Democrats. I am shocked at how people slam one candidate or another. After doing so, arguments ensue and it is so ugly. Yes, I do see many Christians taking the low road. It is as though they feel entitled to voice their political views on anyone that would listen. I do attend church regularly. I am a Christian. I do not feel that it is the Christian way to resort to some of the vicious words I hear from other Christians.

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FLORIDASUN 5/18/2012 5:21PM

    Hi new sparkling friend. I SO hear you on this one. It's pretty shocking isn't it? I almost lost a 20 year friendship with a person I thought of as my sister from another mother. This was one issue that we just locked horns on and the rotten things that came out of her mouth about our then candidate President just stopped me in my tracks! COLD! I actually told her that I knew SOOO many things about her from all of our years of friendship but I never knew she was a bigot. Simply blew me away...I can't even hardly type the word.

We have another set of what I call the extreme churchers...that means "I can say ANYTHING and it's okay because I'm better and smarter than the non-church attending sinners of the world!" Again such a poor poor example of what a Christian should really be.

It's just...staggering bigotry...the hubs and I have actually gotten up from the table in some restaurants with this crowd and walked out. Our meal was ruined by such extremism. It sickens the stomach and ruins the appetite. I steer clear of this group now. It's just not worth my time to try and defend a position that they are too biased to look at clearly.

My arms are around you...I know the shock and the sadness about discovering this cold dark secret in a heart that's you've always though is supposed to be open and accepting.

Our world seems to be getting more and more intolerant of others and it just makes me sad! emoticon

I'm happy to know another sensible sparkie friend...happy AND THANKFUL! emoticon emoticon

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MOM2ACAT 5/18/2012 4:01PM

    I've let go of the people in my life that are like that. Life is too short to be surrounded by negativity.

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LIS193 5/18/2012 2:33PM

    Sorry t0 hear your friend is upsetting you like this. She has some strong opinions and feels free to air them, no matter how mean or un-christian they are... you are free to hide her posts on FB or even un-friend her. It's understandable you are upset by her posts as she is a long-time friend but as she keeps posting, there is no need to keep reading them.
People's opinions are theirs and therefore their problem - the best you can do is pray for her.

Comment edited on: 5/18/2012 2:33:52 PM

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1CRAZYDOG 5/18/2012 9:06AM

    Praying for her sounds klike the most kind thing to do. Certainly she has and is saying very untrue things that are hurtful. I don't like turning my back on others but sometimes when they are toxic in my life, there isn't another choice. Difficult?? Yes. Necessary? Sometimes.

You are citing one of the reasons I do not like Facebook. It is one more venue for things to be written which shouldn't. The problem is it written it reaches many more people than you can imagine. And it can't be taken back!!!

I agree with the THINK philosophy KASEYCOFF wrote in her response. Good idea.

Wishing you peace. We know God hears prayers, and that's about the only way you can hope to reach some people's hearts.


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SANDRALEET 5/18/2012 7:25AM

    You are so right.Allso pray for your country for the harm they can do.

Comment edited on: 5/18/2012 7:29:09 AM

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KASEYCOFF 5/18/2012 3:39AM

    Abraham Lincoln once said something like "When I do good, I feel good; when I do bad, I feel bad; and that is my religion."

Works for me. If we try to orient every action, every word, everything we do in the way we live our lives, to emanate from KINDNESS, why, we won't be spouting hate or envy or cruelty, will we?

I have a poster on my computer that says "Before you speak ask yourself if what you are going to say is...
T rue?
H elpful?
I nspiring?
N ecessary?
K ind?
If the answer is NO, maybe what you are about to say should be left unsaid.


Comment edited on: 5/18/2012 3:40:57 AM

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CHERIRIDDELL 5/18/2012 12:38AM

    My Mum always said that going to church did not make you incapable of sin.I am an almost apolitical person ,I don't care how you vote or who you worship as long as you are kind and sincere. I like you Ev .Whatever your religious persuasion is whatever your political leanings.

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BUSYGRANNY5 5/17/2012 11:22PM

    I think you are wise to simply let this person work her way out of your life, no additional bitter, angry, or hurtful words need to be spoken... simply block her messages from your FB page and get on with your life...


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STLOUISWOMAN 5/17/2012 10:52PM

    I think we all know at least one person like that. Have you considered telling her how you feel about her comments & how hurtful they are?

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BUDDYSMYFRIEND 5/17/2012 10:07PM

    Well, like the old saying goes....Sitting in church doesn't make you a Christian any more than sitting in a garage makes you a car. Your friend certainly is over-the-line with her postings. I, myself, am more of a conservative, though I disagree wholeheartedly about some issues. I would never call someone on the other side of the fence a communist, or question their patriotism. That's just wrong.

My parents claimed to be born-again Christians, but after church my father would be molesting me. Anyone can claim to be Christian, but if they are hateful and negative, they are doing a disservice to the name.

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MY9STONEJOURNEY 5/17/2012 9:30PM

    Thank you sooo much for sharing!!! I have friends on FB that do the exact same thing say they post the most HATEFUL/ UNCHRIST like things and in the next breathe they are talking about GOD!!! I just don't know! Some people you just truly have to pray for and keep going!!!

Thanks Again!! emoticon

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Genealogy and me

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

I have been working on some genealogy lately since the 1940 census has been released. Doing so has made me stop and think about where my roots are. I have been in contact with my cousin and she has shared some pictures with me and I have had some of my own. I hadn't looked at these for a long while and I had forgotten a few things.

My great grandfather had two sisters who never married and were seamstresses. Looking at a picture of the entire family circa 1865, I discovered how heavy they were. In other pictures I noticed my great grandmother was heavy, too. I never knew my paternal grandmother, but in the one picture I found, she was heavy, too. My dad had his tummy and had to lose weight before he could have his open heart surgery. With three generations having weight issues, I can't help but wonder if when I was so inactive part of my weight gain was heiredity. Did I really stand a chance? But then I thought further.

My being heavy had nothing to do with ancestors. I did it to myself with every unhealthy, high fat, sugary foods I put in my mouth. Not to mention how much of it at one sitting!! I have to own my bad habits. I can't blame them on anyone else. There have been some physical limitations with exercise, but with the help of Spark and my chair team I have been able to overcome a lot of those, too. The thing is, if we can control whatever hinders us, we need to do it! If it is out of our control, we need to find ways to try to alter around those to be able to do some moving, food choices, etc.

Looking back on my family I discovered lots of interesting things I had forgotten. My maternal grandfather was born in 1876, the year of the 100th anniversary of the US. My maternal grandmother was born in 1879. I knew them well and spent a lot of time with them. When they were born, there was still a "wild west" and we weren't that far removed from the American civil war. My grandfather was in the Spanish American War. All of this amazes me. I have come to realize the stories they told me were all true. The neat part is, I have been able to prove those stories.

This has little to do with the 1940's cencus except both of my parents were living at home when it was taken. My grandfather died in 1963 and my grandmother in 1972. Oh, the things they saw in their lifetimes. I can only hope that changing to a healthy lifestyle, losing weight, and learning to exercise, I can live as long and healthy life as they.

Peace and love to all my Spark buds. Blessings to you all. I love you!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SAMMIESMOM13 5/22/2012 9:44AM

    Lovely blog. Enjoyed it. I did alot of genealogy when I was younger and found it fascinating. Sort of like doing a "never-ending" puzzle- there will always be pieces you can't find! Also a very good realization and choice to own what you need to. Proud of you.
Hugs. Carol
PS. Would love it if you would join us now and then on the chihuahua team group chat.

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HIKETOHEIGHTS 5/21/2012 12:18PM

    i remember it is called "do you know who you are?" very interesting show

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HIKETOHEIGHTS 5/21/2012 12:18PM

    I have never tried this, but it sounds interesting. I have watched that show ... where did I come from? something like that. Do you know what show I mean?

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HICKOK-HALEY 5/16/2012 4:03AM

    That is so much fun, and work, finding ancestors. I never knew my Grandfathers, and barley knew my Grandmothers. How lucky you are, and to have such wonderful stories.

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CHERIRIDDELL 5/16/2012 12:06AM

    How very interesting I was an afterthought so my Nana was dead by the time I was 5 and my grandad when I was 10 so I only remember a little but I love hearing from people who have more memories of their grandparents.

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KLASSIE 5/15/2012 4:02PM

    I enjoyed reading this blog. I enjoyed your honesty and willingness to own your destiny rather than chalking up any weight issues to fate. As I read the saying "if it has to be, it's up to me" replayed in my head. Good luck on your journey, and I wish you a long and healthy life.

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KARIDIAN1 5/15/2012 3:26PM

    I really enjoy history too, especially if it is history regarding family.

Good hunting in the census data.

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OPALMOON 5/15/2012 11:42AM

    Thanks for sharing this fascinating story of your ancestry, Ev! Have a great day. Hugs and blessings, Nattacia

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KASEYCOFF 5/15/2012 5:46AM

    Ev, what a wonderful tie-in between your family history and the heredity - combined with 'choice' - of health. I too engage in quite a bit of genealogy and research, and like you, there are some connections I've found that have got me wondering about what's in the genes versus what's the result of lifestyle and just where the overlaps (if any) occur.

Great food for thought this morning, hon...
p.s. Love your teatime background too - I stole it off'n ya, lol...

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For Mother's Day

Saturday, May 12, 2012

This is my mother's story and what she went through after my brother and having me. She has been gone since July 1998, but lives on in my heart. Thank you, Mama for all you did for me. I love you.


The woman stood by the crib watching her daughter in slumber. She was still amazed with the miracle of the tiny bundle before her. The bright blue eyes gave the promise of not changing color. The soft down on her head was so blonde she looked bald. The woman chuckled to herself thinking how often she had to explain that indeed, this was a girl child.

Assuring herself that all was well, she sat down in the rocker for a little rest herself. As she covered herself with an afghan, her mind wandered to another January five years earlier. It was then that her struggle to have her little girl really began.

It was six weeks since Pearl Harbor. The entire country was in turmoil. Her mother insisted that she be at her family’s farm for the birth of her child. It was too risky for her to be alone at such a time. The old country doctor lived near by and could be summoned quickly should there be a problem. The birth went well and she and her new son returned to town with her husband.

The boy was fine, but she was not. Most of the doctors were now gone to service and the few that were in the area were over worked and tired. The one she managed to see would look at her breast and send her home. The infection got so bad her husband took her to the hospital. The nurses told him all would be fine and sent him off to work. Several hours later the doctor told her she would need to be put to sleep so the infection could be drained and the pain would stop.

When the woman awoke from her surgery, she realized she was alone. She also somehow became aware her breast had been removed. “Dear Lord,” she said. “I am only twenty-seven years old. What am I to do?” There was no one there to answer her, only the painful silence of being alone. It was to take a year before she would be well physically and emotionally. The love and support of her family helped her to overcome.

The war was all but over and she really wanted another child. Her doctor told her she shouldn’t have any more. Her husband said he was happy with their son and did not want her to risk her life. She and her mother quarreled over the issue. In the end, it just happened. Her pregnancy had no problems and the delivery was smooth. Both she and her daughter were fine.

The baby stirred and the woman awoke from her reverie. Her son would soon be home from school and her husband from work. As she reached for the little girl, they both smiled at each other. They would have that special bond all the days of the woman’s life.


Blessings to all my SP friends who are mothers. Enjoy your special day tomorrow.

Peace and love to all,

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    Your mother is bound to you forever ~ a love line that reaches far beyond this life.. we are bound to those amazing women who brought us here and who are waiting to see us again one day - Happy Mothers Day to you and your mother - she is right beside you.

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OPALMOON 5/13/2012 10:11AM

    Just lovely! Thanks for sharing this story with us and a happy Mother's Day to you!

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SNUZSUZ 5/13/2012 12:56AM

    What a beautiful story! She will always be in your heart:)

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CHERIRIDDELL 5/13/2012 12:12AM

    What a wonderful story ! love and hugs to you !

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JAMER123 5/12/2012 11:44PM

    What a beautiful story!! Thank you for sharing!
Blessings to you and have a Happy Mother's Day!! emoticon emoticon

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KARIDIAN1 5/12/2012 11:02PM

    Thank you for sharing your Mom's story. Have a wonderful Mothers Day!

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GATOR12 5/12/2012 8:05PM

    This is such a warm, heartfelt "love story". Moms & daughters everywhere can relate! Now we know where you get your determination & "can do" attitude!

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LINDA! 5/12/2012 7:25PM

    Lovely!!! emoticon

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COACHPENNY 5/12/2012 7:00PM

    A Mother's Love.......there is nothing else like it on earth, it must come from heaven.

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SANDRALEET 5/12/2012 6:06PM

    You had a wonderful Mother.How lucky you were in that.She helped you to become the survivor you are.

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LOSTLIME 5/12/2012 5:06PM

    Thank you for the beautiful story. You were a very lucky woman to have such a wonderful mother! Happy Mother's Day to you!

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An entire person

Friday, May 11, 2012

Today as I had my weekly Friday weigh-in, and I saw the results, I realized that I have lost an entire person! Today I weighed in at 127 and have lost 128!! Knowing how I feel now, I can't imagine that I carried around this person! I think I'll name her - Kathy! Hey, if I can name my power chairs, I certainly name the person I used to carry around with me.

When I started Spark I was at 255 pounds. I never thought I could get below 200 again let alone in the 120's. I have always been big. When I was 10 and starting sixth grade, each of us was weighed and measured. I was 5'4" and weighed 124 pounds!! I was never that weight again. When I graduated, I was 5'5.5" and 130. When I married the first time at 19 I was at 5'6" and 126 pounds. Then living on an army pay check and a clerk's salary, I gained to 145.
Everything went up from there.

I have found I enjoy good food. My aunt used to have a huge garden and would freeze corn, green beans, and waxed beans for us. Then she would also give us those things fresh along with lettuce, radish, broccoli, tomatos and cucumbers. I'm back with all those except corn and radishes. Corn is next on my list to try. With so many teeth pulled before radiation, I can't make it on the cob. I have asked Bob to grill it and we can take it off the cob and it should be fantastic. I had forgotten how good all of this could be. When I started going through all the tastes being so yukie, about all I could handle was salads. Cottage cheese was another, so I would use it for my dressing. I'm so glad I have been able to add more foods, but there are many I miss. I have to admit that water still tastes like salt was put in it, but I still drink it with lemon to cut that salty taste. It has been many years since I added salt to anything. We also use sea salt when we cook and always use about 1/4 of what is called for in the recipe. Depending on the other foods involved, I'll not even use it.

Exercise I could barely do. I spent so much time in my chair, I thought it was impossible for me. Then I joined SP and was recommended to check out the chair exercise team. I did and joined. It was the best thing I did after joining the site itself. Then I discovered Coach Nicole has a series of videos working in a chair! For the most part my program includes some walking although some days I have to use my walker. Then most others are videos for in chair or some of the challenge ones. Most I do are on the floor and some standing that use the light weights and bands. I would love to add several other items to this and change it up a bit.

Along with the support and encouragement from my Spark People friends and those on my teams, this program, and simply trying to put it all together to take those first baby step has helped me to be so close to goal (120). Now Kathy can go away for good. I hope I never have to see her again in my life!!

Peace, love, and blessings to all my SP Buds.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EJOY-EVELYN 5/15/2012 3:46PM

    WOW . . . what an incredible journey you've made. The generic name I gave my weight loss was that I lost "one supermodel" -- Fun!

Naming is an important process. While in sin (excessive eating), one of my ministers recommended we name the sin so we could get a better handle on making the needed changes in our life to becoming more Christlike.

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SANDRALEET 5/12/2012 6:01PM

    There is so much in each persons life that few now about .How many untold stores are there.Your Mother was a wonder full and caring women. For that you were very lucky.

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MOM2ACAT 5/12/2012 3:41PM


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OPALMOON 5/12/2012 9:01AM

    What an incredible achievement, Ev! I hope you will again be able to eat the foods you miss. Love the new background pic as well!


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CHERIRIDDELL 5/12/2012 12:23AM

    Congratulations.Farewell Kathy!

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PIMPINELLAN50 5/11/2012 11:50PM

    I feel so happy and inspired while reading this.Congratulations on reaching your goals! emoticon
Your positive attitude and determination is emoticon!!!

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Q8PRINCESS 5/11/2012 11:48PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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FLAMENM 5/11/2012 11:26PM

    You are such an inspiration. Thank you for sharing.

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SNUZSUZ 5/11/2012 10:56PM

    What an awesome, inspirational story you have to tell! Congratulations!

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BIBS4664 5/11/2012 9:07PM

    Be Kathy...hello gorgeous!!

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LOSTLIME 5/11/2012 8:44PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticonWhat an inspiration!

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KARIDIAN1 5/11/2012 8:37PM

    Good thing I spell my name with a C and not a K emoticon

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CARO488 5/11/2012 8:29PM


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PMFISH 5/11/2012 8:29PM

    I think that person you lost all melted right into your heart!! You have had an incredible journey, and it is not over yet. Know you feel like you are just starting without Kathy!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ONEKIDSMOM 5/11/2012 8:01PM

    What an amazing job you've done, taking care of business and getting healthier again! It's not easy, it is said, but it IS worth it! I should also mention you look amazing!

And I have to love the pups, too! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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BESCATS 5/11/2012 7:46PM

    That is just AWESOME, you look great. You have 3 dogs, so you are definitely a good person. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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USMAWIFE 5/11/2012 7:44PM

    OMG that is INCREDIBLE emoticon emoticon

One day I hope that is finally me

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So stunned and happy, my eyes teared (pics, too)

Monday, May 07, 2012

Today I received a goodie with the nicest note included. The note was so meaningful to me that I was both stunned and happy. And yes, my eyes teared and I could barely speak to tell Bob why. I received this right when I needed it the very most. I truly believe we receive what we need and when we need it. It is taken care of by God and not by us. The journey we are on in life is the path He has chosen for us. We still have the power to make decisions, but He knows the outcome.

In this note the sender noted about my weight loss, my cancer journeys, and how my blogs were inspirational to her. You know, sometimes I feel that writing what comes to mind doesnn't really help anyone but me and a few friends who have similar issues. Now I know I am actually touching others with my words. Yes that stunned me. Yes that made me happy. Yes, I had tears in my eyes because of it all.

It is difficult for me to remember how much I have told about my weight loss/healthy living journey. The cancer ones seemed to take over because they were so much a part of my daily life for so long. Today is for my Spark journey.

When I started Spark in 2008, I weighted in at 260. When I came back in April of 2010, I was at 255. That's right - 5 pounds in two years. This is not a good thing. But still I didn't do much other than try a few of the recipes. In August 2010 I became really serious about it all. At this time I was down to 245. I had to admit with only a slight change I had lost more than I had in two years. And I wasn't really trying! That is what amazed me. I was trying to change my lifestyle in order to help me walk again on my own and to know my food was better for my body. I had quit smoking 14 years before and I did it cold turkey. I know how hard that was, so I knew these changes were going to take time, but I really felt it was worth it for me. Bob was diagnosed with Type II diabetes and I knew this lifestyle would help him, too. He now walks about four miles every morning and hasn't had to have meds for about 3 months!! I'm so proud of him!! But, back to my journey. By the time I had my first surgery for the breast cancer, I had dropped some more weight - I was at 230 - and had gone from 5 minutes of daily exercise to 20 minutes. I tried to add 5 minutes every week or sometimes two weeks. I had started tracking both my food and exercise daily as often as I could.

My first goal I set for myself was to be under 200, so I made it 195. I didn't make that until Sept '11. The first round of radiation, I lost almost 10 pounds. Even being tired, I managed to get in at least 5 minutes of cardio daily. I was able to this by using a lot of the information I received from the Chair Team. I also lost during the six weeks before the tonsil cancer was found. This time, they didn't want me to lose any weight if I could help it. It wasn't much of a problem when I had to go a feeding tube during the second week. At the end of July 2011, I was at 215. I had to stay on the feeding tube for about six more weeks, and went down to 199. Did I ever do the Happy Dance as best I could. By the first week in Sept. I was at that first goal of 195.

My next goal I set for 160 and the third for 140. When I reached that one, I set yet a fourth for 120. Right now I am at 128 and new size 10 jeans fit perfectly!!
I feel if I stay between 128 and 132 I'll be fine. 130 would be perfect for me, really. Where I am has made me feel good and I could move really well until this past week or so - starting with that fall. I can still do exercise in the chair and on the floor. I do a sort of marching holding on to my walker usually during commercials of my favorite TV programs.

Now I wouldn't be perfectly honest if I said I did this totally on my own. In the fall of 2011, I became very ill and was in the hospital about twice every month. I had a poisoning that caused an infection. I couldn't hold anything down and I couldn't even swallow my meds. If I did manage to get them down, they came right back up. During that time, I did lose more than the 1-2 pounds I had been up until then. Those three months accounted for 20 pounds off rather than the 15 I would have on my own. But I wasn't exercising, so that could be considered more when that is considered. When I got out of the hospital I was weighed and I was at 143. That was Dec.16, 2011.

So here I am and Friday the 4th was when I weighed in at 128 pounds. The weight loss has been like the icing on the cake so to speak. But I enjoy the new way of eating that Bob and I have. Portion control was a big challenge, but one I have under control. I'm content with three scallops rather than 6. Low sodium fqat-free broth rather than noodle soup. The list goes on and on. And I especially enjoy following Coach Nicole's videos.

It is doubtful I'll ever stop tracking, being on teams, and blogging. It's a given that I won't ever stop giving support to anyone I know needs it, just as I include all my Spark buds in need in my daily prayers.

This journey hasn't always been easy. The weight didn't come on in a year or two, it took a few years and major events to do that. Nor did I become housebound over night. It has taken a lot of work and sticking to things, even when I messed up. It has taken overtwo years to get it together enough to get where I am today. But the challenge has been so worth it in the sense I feel so very much better. My self esteem no longer takes a hit like it did before. Now my doctor is telling me NOT to lose more! And I have even been called "small" for the very first time in my life!! Now I'm in search for a new bra. The ones I've had to get are too big and there is nothing left to hold me in, if you know what I mean!! And that, my dear friends, can be an embarrassment!!

When I started in April 2010

31 Dec 2010

21 March 2011

12 March 2012

If my story helps someone here on Spark, I'll be so happy. Please ask if you have any questions for me. And thank you to the one who gave me the goodie with the note. You know who you are!!!!

Love, Peace and Blessings to all.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DOLLYHOLLY 5/11/2012 9:27AM

    emoticon Thanks for sharing your journey. LOVE the dogs too.

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CHANGE_4_ME 5/10/2012 10:16AM

    you look great!

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CAPERGRRL 5/10/2012 7:18AM

    You are an inspiration, and your doggies are adorable :) Good luck on your continued journey!

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HICKOK-HALEY 5/10/2012 2:58AM

    Your awesome!! emoticon

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OPALMOON 5/8/2012 11:28PM

    You have one awesome and amazing story and are such an inspiration! Thanks so much for sharing your journey with us. And your doggies are so cute!

Blessings and hugs, Nattacia

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MOM2ACAT 5/8/2012 3:15PM

    emoticon You inspire me! emoticon

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PIMPINELLAN50 5/8/2012 2:40PM

    Thank you for sharing another inspiring Blog about your journey,in words and pictures.You are a true Motivator!

The picture of you and your dogs is lovely,and you have the most beautiful blue eyes! emoticon

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COACHPENNY 5/8/2012 1:08PM

    You are gorgeous.....look at those cheekbones and even more, you are beautiful inside as well.

The photo on the bottom should be your new profile pic!

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HIKETOHEIGHTS 5/8/2012 12:39PM

    You are amazing!

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SARAWMS48 5/8/2012 9:41AM

    You and your dogs are too cute. Isn't it fun to be cute?

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CHLOE453 5/8/2012 9:25AM


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MUSOLF6 5/8/2012 8:55AM

    You are a true inspiration to us all. Keep up the good work. And my prayers are with you. emoticon

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SANDRALEET 5/8/2012 7:41AM

    May God bless and heal you.

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ARTJAC 5/8/2012 7:20AM


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SOXYINMO 5/8/2012 7:05AM

    Thank you so much for your story and pictures! Inspiration, indeed!

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BRAVEONE92 5/8/2012 12:03AM

    Ev, I loved reading the inspiring story of your
life. I also liked looking at your before and
after pictures. You were pretty before, but
you look nice and healthy now. You are an
amazing woman to become committed to
eating healthy for the sake of your body
and that of your DH. So glad that he is
doing great as well. You're an encourager
to me and all who reads your story. emoticon

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NORASPAT 5/7/2012 11:47PM

    Thanks for your story EV, I am certain that your story has inspired someone because it has inspired me to continue on my healthy journey and encourage others to do it too. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Pat in Maine.

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GRAMMAP1 5/7/2012 11:42PM

    What an encouraging blog. It would probably require illness for me to have that kind of success, but I am so happy for you. I dare not become that ill since much of my time is spent caring for DH. With his prosthesis and many diseases, I really don't expect much improvement.
But congratulations on the weight loss. Are you cancer free presently?
Praying for improved health and the ability to maintain. emoticon emoticon

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EJOY-EVELYN 5/7/2012 11:38PM

    What an incredible journey you've made through such adverse positions. Your attitude and zeal for the good life is what truly shows here.

You look marvelous! At a time when we have so many people on this site becoming healthy, the trend in the real world continues to move into greater obesity. Being within a healthy BMI (or an equivalent measure) is one minority group I long to stay in. Keep looking forward and thanks for the prayers. We can all use a prayerful touch from a friend.


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KARIDIAN1 5/7/2012 11:34PM

    Ev, what an amazing story you have to tell. I'm sure it will inspire others as it has inspired me.

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CHERIRIDDELL 5/7/2012 11:16PM

    Ev you look fabulous and you are an inspiration!

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JAMER123 5/7/2012 11:13PM

    EV, what a beautiful story and walk in life. You are an inspiration and I am glad you won't be leaving us. I must comment that you are holding our dog in your right arm. Not sure how you got her but we had to look in the chair to be sure she is back!! (LOL)
God bless and know that you look wonderful! (EV, my initials)
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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EASH5M 5/7/2012 11:00PM

    What a fantastic story! So inspiring. You look amazing. emoticon

Comment edited on: 5/7/2012 11:01:35 PM

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MISSCUS 5/7/2012 10:59PM

    You really have come a long way. I know you must feel better and have more energy than before. Hope so. Now you can maintain. But I hear that can be harder than losing. But I am sure you will do just fine. You learned a lot of skills when you lost all that weight. You can do it!

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LINDA! 5/7/2012 10:49PM

    Hey, you look fantastic!! What a major accomplishment. The road was long but you stayed the course! emoticon

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