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I feel like a horse owner at the final race lap & mine is on a different track!

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Here I sit like a broken record - in pain. The sores in my mouth are so bad I can barely smile let alone swallow!! And tomorrow is my last day of radiation and potassium booster at least for awhile. Chemo ended last week. So one might say tomorrow it will be done. WRONG!! Most likely when I have my port flushed every 6 weeks, I'll also have a potassium boost. It will take about 4 - 6 weeks for my throat and mouth really heal enough for me to start to eat normally. I'm so glad I had the feeding tube put in from the get-go!! Depending how I do, I may be able to have it removed in that same amount of time. I'll also be able to have therapy to learn to swallow and eat at the same time. Thankfully the nurse has emphasized the importance of swallowing, so it isn't as bad as it might have been. There is also the weight issue. They had wanted me to be within a 15 pound range this whole time and I do believe I have done that or darn close. I have been keeping track of food enjoyments and abilities to do so once more are my favorites. Interested?

1) orange juice
2) bananas
3) lemonade
4) spinach pizza
5) shrimp
6) salads with lettuce, tomato, cucumber, cheese, bacon, etc
7) crackers
8) pulled pork
9) chicken salad on pita
10) pasta of almost any sort
11) Buffalo shrimp
12) clam chowder
13) cheese biscuits
14) ham and turkey burger
15) taco salad

Yes, tomorrow is the big day, my horse is almost a length behind all others at this point, but I can see an end and I must admit, no more daily "training" really has me psyched. Now if I could be rid of the pain before getting hooked on the morphine.

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

1BEACHWALKER 9/6/2011 3:51PM

    Wishing for you a speedy recovery! emoticon emoticon

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HICKOK-HALEY 8/28/2011 5:15AM

    Thank goodness you are ending the therapy. I pray your mouth heals quickly. You have done a fantastic job!! emoticon emoticon

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PUFFPASTRY 8/27/2011 11:43PM

    Hang in there, Ev! I'm so sad to hear it's painful to smile, because the WORLD NEEDS YOUR SMILES!!! But you know, the world can also wait a little while if it has to. emoticon You know how women experience a huge endorphin rush after childbirth that helps them forget all the pain of labor (and helps our species propagate...because if women REMEMBERED how painful labor was, they'd never have a second child?)? I bet that when this is all over, you'll have this enormous endorphin rush that'll blur away these months of discomfort and unpleasantness and make everything feel bright and brilliant and fantastic. I have a feeling. Until then, many hugs!!
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TBID227 8/26/2011 10:04AM

    So I take it you love shrimp! You are going to get through this even stronger! Hang in there and don't worry too much about becoming addicted to pain meds, use it as necessary to keep you feeling good! Great job on staying within the range! Keep on keepin' on! *hugs*

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PMCFARM 8/26/2011 12:04AM

  Ev... you are emoticon!

Comment edited on: 8/26/2011 12:06:05 AM

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SUSIEPH1 8/25/2011 10:24PM

    Ev Love,
You have been so brave through all this .. you are so strong ... Now you are nearing the winning post do not falter ..
The prize will be worth it in the end ..
Love and Hugs to you and your darling Hubby .
Susie emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JUSTJUSTY 8/25/2011 10:18PM

    Ev, I pray for you every night. You have the best attitude (even when you don't think so) and display such strength (even in pain). I am so proud of you! You are a fighter and an amazing woman. You will conquer all this and we are here for you all the way. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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OUTDOORGIRL69 8/25/2011 8:45PM

    You will make it and do just fine. emoticon


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CELLOPLAYER1 8/25/2011 8:28PM

    You can get through this. Once your treatments are finished hopefully each day will show improvements. Hang in there you are one tough lady!

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TERJEGOLD 8/25/2011 8:10PM

    You will get through this, I just know you will. The treatment for this type of cancer seems to be really tough on levels I never saw with my BC treatment. You have definitely earned my respect.

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JKURJACK1944 8/25/2011 7:39PM

    Ev, you will make it. It's just about over and with your strength you will get through the next weeks. God bless you and Bob.

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Here We Go Again - In the final week

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Yesterday with the doctor: Mouth sores have gone from 10 (being the best) on Friday to 1 (being the worst on Monday). New antibiotic. New pain med. Dr S's office called to say potassium wen from 3.5 back down to 2.5 over the weekend. More drips daily this entire week. This morning was told radiation would last the rest of this week, too. My Ev is in so much pain, I don't know what to do anymore. Please just send some more prayers her way.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

COACHPENNY 8/26/2011 6:15PM

    Hearts and Prayers sent!

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JUSTJUSTY 8/25/2011 10:11PM

    Bob, I am so emoticon Sending many prayers emoticon emoticon

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PMFISH 8/25/2011 9:12AM

    What a difference a couple of days can make! Hopefully since this is now Thursday, the numbers and pain have reversed.

So sorry Ev is having to go thru so much pain. Prayers and good energy heading your way. Will double the prayers, He does listen.

God Bless you Both


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PMCFARM 8/25/2011 12:29AM

  Holding you and EV in my thoughts and prayers.

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1BEACHWALKER 8/24/2011 2:23PM

    emoticon emoticonHang in there Bob. We are all hoping for the best for Ev and you. Take care.

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TERJEGOLD 8/23/2011 9:47PM

    Bob, thank you so much for keeping us informed so we can send prayer support as well as good thoughts. This treatment is definitely not for the weak or weak hearted. Is she almost finished? I keep thinking she has just one more week to go.

Please let her know she is in our daily thoughts and prayers as are you. The care givers are the true heroes in my opinion. The ones with cancer have no choice but the caregivers could take off and leave and yet they don't. Bless you.

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SUSIEPH1 8/23/2011 7:09PM

    Hi Bob !
All my loving thoughts and healing vibes are coming your way ...
Ev is a very strong lady she will fight this ..
Tell her we love her and she is always in our thoughts and heart ..
Love and Hugs Susie emoticon emoticon

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    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JKURJACK1944 8/23/2011 6:32PM

    Bob, You and Ev have all my prayers. Ev is a strong woman and determined. She will get through this week and so will you. God Bless you both.

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ELLEN0407 8/23/2011 6:28PM

  oh my. super prayers are being sent.

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What does 2.3 potassium level mean to those of you who know?

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Here it is Wednesday morning at 1:53 AM. I can't sleep. I had the iron infusion yesterday along with some yummy water and potassium. They tell me the 2.3 level is the lowest they have seen on me and the doctor has added a 2 hour drip of it for today, during the chemo Thursday, and Friday. It'll be checked again Monday to see where we go from there. Oh, they also upped to 2, the doses I receive via the feed tube daily. I know all of this doesn't sound good, but they were so busy today, I feel I got the answers I was going to for the day and thought I'd ask here. One more thing, the 1.0 ml @4 hours of morphine via feeding tube was not making it, so I got to have another .05 added to my feeding.

Earlier this evening I could tell things are getting to the surface from the treatments. There was blood around my ear in a different place, around my lips, one place under my nose, and when I "brushed" with the Q-tip the gums started to have faint blood as did my nose when I gently blew it. But I don't think there is any infection as my temp has stayed at 98.2 F all day. Oh, and I lost another pound today. I'm really hoping not to lose anymore until this all ends.

Everyone has been so supportive with suggestions and prayers along with encouragement. I don't really have the words needed to thank you all. I have gained such many wonderful friends since I started my weight loss/healthy lifestyle journey. Little did I know I would have two more journeys added and that they would be the ones for my life. Attitude does make a difference in everything we do. The days I haven't wanted to go on or haven't seen the reason to do so, or even thought there may be no tomorrow. I have had all of you making the difference for me. It is all in the wheel - it goes around, it comes around, and it is faith and love, and peace.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EFFIEANNIE 8/20/2011 4:28PM

    This is the first blog of yours I have read, I will read the rest. Sounds like you are a wonderful lady. I will say a pryer for you. I am a nurse and have seen so many success stories, following a rough patch. Just hang in there. As someone else mentioned with a low potassium they sometimes monitor your heart-that is because you have increased cardiac irritability with such a low potassium. Therefore they keep a close eye on you unitl they raise your level. Sue emoticon

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PMFISH 8/18/2011 2:10PM

    Ev, great to hear you hanging in there! You know a bit of my story, how I had to have a nurse take care of me for 18 mos. etc. I am doing things today, I was not sure I would be able to. I am now living in a townhouse and navigating the stairs quite well. Have been off the oxygen 24/7 since January, so you have no idea what God has in store for you lady! He is keeping us around for a reason. Get your strength back and start exploring your reason. As always my prayer and positive thoughts are headed to you and Bob!


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JUSTJUSTY 8/17/2011 8:09PM

    You are in our thoughts and prayers Ev. Thanks for posting. Sorry you couldn't sleep. I hope you get all your questions answered. You hang in there lady!! emoticon

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COACHPENNY 8/17/2011 5:06PM

    Ev, I found this info...............

"People suspected of having severely low potassium need to be placed on a cardiac monitor and have an IV started.

Usually, those with mild or moderately low potassium levels (2.5-3.5 mEq/L), who have no symptoms, or who have only minor complaints only need to be treated with potassium given in pill or liquid form. This is preferred because it is easy to administer, safe, inexpensive, and readily absorbed from the gastrointestinal tract. Some preparations, or too high of a dose, may irritate the stomach and cause vomiting."

There was also info in this article on causes . Malnutrition(for various reasons) and certain antibiotics can cause a drop in potassium levels.



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HOPE2BE 8/17/2011 2:39PM

    You are in my thoughts and prayers Ev. It sounds like you have really good Dr.s I'm glad they're on top of things with you. Take care. Hope

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1GR8FULGAL 8/17/2011 10:50AM

    I understand that each lab has its own normal values, so it is best to check with your provider, or at least the lab, if you are able to do so.

All the best to you; I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

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TERJEGOLD 8/17/2011 10:49AM

    Your medical team sounds like they are really on top of your progress. That makes me happy. This treatment is short but tough. I am wishing you the best as you near the end of the hard part.

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PATRISNA 8/17/2011 7:12AM

    Ev & Bob,

You both are in my thoughts and prayers. Hope the treatments are helping. I have read all your recent blogs. You have been through so much. I love your spirit. The two photos of you as a baby and now. you have such a sweet smile. Love and positive thoughts sent your way.


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SUSIEPH1 8/17/2011 5:01AM

    I too hope the bleeding stops .. I am sending Positive thoughts and love your way !!
Hugs Susie emoticon emoticon

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HICKOK-HALEY 8/17/2011 4:20AM

    I hope the bleeding levels out for you. We all have you in our thoughts and prayers! emoticon

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Hey you! Yeah, you over there... don't be like me, be yourself!!!

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Thursday was a horrible day. Right when I think it can't get worse, along comes something like oh, say, ..Friday. I was so sick, we couldn't get 5 miles from home on the way to treatment. FINALLY Saturday morning about 6AM, I threw up one last time and it all quit. Yep, just like that. So, I managed to get tons of sleep from the morphine and with that comes lots of peaks and valleys.

During these types sleeps I tend to dream and reflect a lot. The problem comes when I try to put it all together, find proper words and put them together to form sentences that make sense, and see clearly enough to write it down. I tend to get a wonderful thought, lose the words, and go off on the tangent of whether or not other writers have the same problem. I really don't remember that happening before, but then I must ask myself, "Before what, Ev?" Perhaps when I was younger things came much easier for me and I never noticed.

But this all seems to bring me back to Spark People. All of the years I knew exercise was needed to have a successful healthy life style. And how many more years than that I knew which foods were best and which would hurt. Sadly when I started smoking enough of what was known wasn't relayed to the public. But thinking back to being a young brat starting college, I doubt I would have listened. After all, 17 was a time to know best for myself and do as I pleased. Well, I sure am paying to going to the movie I can't recall the name of and outspending myself on theater food that I can barely stand the smell as it cooks today and the agony of becoming smoke-free cold turkey, rather than taking a walk, cracking a book, and chowing down on my favorite fruits and veggies as I would do in the same position today. I walked 10 minutes yesterday afternoon and this morning and how nice it would be to be back to have those minutes move to at least 40-60 per day. And to taste the good food without burn and salty tastes. I'm finding myself very, very impatient to get back to all the good stuff. I can still hardly believe one of the first things I could no longer tolerate is frozen yogurt and single pieces of chocolate!! Is this truly me? I actually uttered the words, I don't want anything with sugar added - at least more than once a day! Spark has reinforced me back to my grade school days when I knew better and practiced what Sparks tries to teach us!

No, you don't want to be like me and wait far too long to miss out on all the wonderful great things available for you. Exercise to put a smile on your face, eat for balance, live a lifestyle that keeps you happy and thriving and just keep on being yourself. Don't let yourself balloon to 255 because you are unhappy and you're unhappy because you don't like the way you look because you ballooned to 255. Be good and kind to yourself and realize no one is perfect. If you slip and fall one day or even one week, you CAN always start again. Learn from the mistake and just be the best you that you can. Some days may be a struggle, but look how many aren't!! "Yeah man!! You CAN do that." You have faith in yourself and that enables others to have faith in you, too.

I really have to ask myself if I wished myself to be like someone else who I had no clue what their life was like, when I should have been working on being the best Ev that I can be.

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Have a super terrific week.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PENGUINLADY! 8/17/2011 6:34PM

    You are so amazing. Hang in there. emoticon

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JUSTJUSTY 8/17/2011 12:21AM

    You are one of the most amazing woman I have ever met even if it is just vicariously through blogs! Here you are traveling this horrible path and yet you still give so much to others. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. (and Bob too!) You'll get through this and I'll be right there beside you in prayer and spirit! God Bless emoticon

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GRAMMAP1 8/15/2011 9:21PM

    I think MOM2CATS has a very good suggestion for you. You have a lot of determination to Blog and that is good. Then Bob steps in when you can't and I consider that emoticon emoticon
teamwork. Blessings, Jane

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MOM2ACAT 8/15/2011 4:38PM

    I think you are beautiful Ev!

Just an idea, maybe you could get a tape recorder to keep besides your bed? Then when you think of something you want to write about it later, you could record your thoughts then when you are feeling better listen and sort them out.

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PMCFARM 8/15/2011 12:48AM

  Ev, You and Bob remain in my thoughts and prayers (LOL you may want to give away the goodie I sent after reading yesterdays blog from Bob)

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PANSYLADY2 8/15/2011 12:10AM

    Love reading whatever you have to say, sweet girl. You haven't changed a bit!!

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COACHPENNY 8/14/2011 10:28PM

    Still a cutie....look at those cheekbones....will ya?

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TERJEGOLD 8/14/2011 8:19PM

    Great blog, sweetie. When your head clears, it clears beautifully.

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JKURJACK1944 8/14/2011 7:30PM

    Well my goodness Ev. You havn't changed much. You may have more knowledge, but I bet you were always strongwilled. Look at the determined look of you as a baby and now. Prayers for you, Bob and mini EV.

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It is slowing down towards the end and new stuff seems to get in the way!!

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Ev had a nasty radiation treatment this morning. The closer we get towards the end, the harder this is becoming for her. The sores in her mouth are awful and she has trouble swallowing. It amazes me that she can handle any of her radiation at all. I still give her the morphine every four hours, and she knows when it is time and let me know, too!! She carries her special mouth wash where ever we go now. The radiation burn on her left side is going away, but her right side has increased somewhat. The tumor is shrinking as they had anticipated. The radiation doctor and nurse say she has done fantastic for all she has endured. To top it off, she has taken off 11 lbs where they though she would have lost too much. Over all they are happy. She has 9 more treatments if all goes well.

Her sight has improved greatly. They changed her chemo med for nausea and that seemed to do the trick. Both her Chemo oncologist and nurse say you can see the pain and nausea leave her face as she "finishes" that portion.

But all is not well for her. Where the red cells were low. they are still down, but now the white count is acting up, too. She received some beautiful flowers, but they say until the white count is normal again, she can't be around fresh flowers. Neither of us can remember if they are up or down. This could also be a sign of her infection and something has been "masking" it.


Her iron is way low and as the doctor put it, giving it to her is liking trying to fill an empty hole. Thank goodness I see them tomorrow while Ev is having her radiation and see what is missing from her schedule papers, because something must be.

She slept most of yesterday when we got home and during today's chemo and so far this afternoon at home.

Please keep her in prayer and hold her up where she might fall.

Thanks to all who keep her in thoughts and cheery mail and goodies.


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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JUSTJUSTY 8/17/2011 12:08AM

    emoticon for you both.

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BOBBIENORTHERN1 8/12/2011 5:46PM

  emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon Much love sent to you and prayers to the Father in the name of Jesus to get well and healed from the top of her head to the soles of her feet be made whole and shining health and energy.

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CHRIS3215 8/12/2011 2:05PM

    She is in my Prayers too..

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PUFFPASTRY 8/12/2011 2:08AM

    Aw, hang in there, Ev. And Bob too. I hear you on the iron issue -- I have a mysterious iron absorption problem where I can't seem to get my hemoglobin or hematocrit up to normal levels even after a YEAR of taking iron supplements, and no one knows why. Grrr! Here's to healthy, happy bodies all around! Many hugs! emoticon

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MOMMYTO5CUTIES 8/11/2011 11:48PM

    WOW, thank you so much for updating, I will EV in my thoughts and prapers.

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OUTDOORGIRL69 8/11/2011 9:28PM

    My prayers are there for her.


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TERJEGOLD 8/11/2011 6:41PM

    Sweet Ev and Bob. I think about the both of you daily. I know exactly what you are going through, having gone through it with my Daddy quite recently. That mouth wash stuff is a miracle liquid, isn't it?

Continuing to send prayers that both of you can get through this last week and start the road back to health and happiness. You both certainly deserve it. Thank you for your continued updates. They are appreciated.

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CELLOPLAYER1 8/11/2011 6:36PM

    emoticon and Prayers to both of you!

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JKURJACK1944 8/11/2011 6:25PM

    Bob, Ev is in my prayers and will remain there until she is recovered. You, also, are in my thoughts and prayers. Thank you for your updating us when Ev is unable to do so.

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