Thursday, August 25, 2011
Here I sit like a broken record - in pain. The sores in my mouth are so bad I can barely smile let alone swallow!! And tomorrow is my last day of radiation and potassium booster at least for awhile. Chemo ended last week. So one might say tomorrow it will be done. WRONG!! Most likely when I have my port flushed every 6 weeks, I'll also have a potassium boost. It will take about 4 - 6 weeks for my throat and mouth really heal enough for me to start to eat normally. I'm so glad I had the feeding tube put in from the get-go!! Depending how I do, I may be able to have it removed in that same amount of time. I'll also be able to have therapy to learn to swallow and eat at the same time. Thankfully the nurse has emphasized the importance of swallowing, so it isn't as bad as it might have been. There is also the weight issue. They had wanted me to be within a 15 pound range this whole time and I do believe I have done that or darn close. I have been keeping track of food enjoyments and abilities to do so once more are my favorites. Interested?
1) orange juice
4) spinach pizza
6) salads with lettuce, tomato, cucumber, cheese, bacon, etc
8) pulled pork
9) chicken salad on pita
10) pasta of almost any sort
11) Buffalo shrimp
12) clam chowder
13) cheese biscuits
14) ham and turkey burger
15) taco salad
Yes, tomorrow is the big day, my horse is almost a length behind all others at this point, but I can see an end and I must admit, no more daily "training" really has me psyched. Now if I could be rid of the pain before getting hooked on the morphine.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Yesterday with the doctor: Mouth sores have gone from 10 (being the best) on Friday to 1 (being the worst on Monday). New antibiotic. New pain med. Dr S's office called to say potassium wen from 3.5 back down to 2.5 over the weekend. More drips daily this entire week. This morning was told radiation would last the rest of this week, too. My Ev is in so much pain, I don't know what to do anymore. Please just send some more prayers her way.
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Here it is Wednesday morning at 1:53 AM. I can't sleep. I had the iron infusion yesterday along with some yummy water and potassium. They tell me the 2.3 level is the lowest they have seen on me and the doctor has added a 2 hour drip of it for today, during the chemo Thursday, and Friday. It'll be checked again Monday to see where we go from there. Oh, they also upped to 2, the doses I receive via the feed tube daily. I know all of this doesn't sound good, but they were so busy today, I feel I got the answers I was going to for the day and thought I'd ask here. One more thing, the 1.0 ml @4 hours of morphine via feeding tube was not making it, so I got to have another .05 added to my feeding.
Earlier this evening I could tell things are getting to the surface from the treatments. There was blood around my ear in a different place, around my lips, one place under my nose, and when I "brushed" with the Q-tip the gums started to have faint blood as did my nose when I gently blew it. But I don't think there is any infection as my temp has stayed at 98.2 F all day. Oh, and I lost another pound today. I'm really hoping not to lose anymore until this all ends.
Everyone has been so supportive with suggestions and prayers along with encouragement. I don't really have the words needed to thank you all. I have gained such many wonderful friends since I started my weight loss/healthy lifestyle journey. Little did I know I would have two more journeys added and that they would be the ones for my life. Attitude does make a difference in everything we do. The days I haven't wanted to go on or haven't seen the reason to do so, or even thought there may be no tomorrow. I have had all of you making the difference for me. It is all in the wheel - it goes around, it comes around, and it is faith and love, and peace.
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Thursday was a horrible day. Right when I think it can't get worse, along comes something like oh, say, ..Friday. I was so sick, we couldn't get 5 miles from home on the way to treatment. FINALLY Saturday morning about 6AM, I threw up one last time and it all quit. Yep, just like that. So, I managed to get tons of sleep from the morphine and with that comes lots of peaks and valleys.
During these types sleeps I tend to dream and reflect a lot. The problem comes when I try to put it all together, find proper words and put them together to form sentences that make sense, and see clearly enough to write it down. I tend to get a wonderful thought, lose the words, and go off on the tangent of whether or not other writers have the same problem. I really don't remember that happening before, but then I must ask myself, "Before what, Ev?" Perhaps when I was younger things came much easier for me and I never noticed.
But this all seems to bring me back to Spark People. All of the years I knew exercise was needed to have a successful healthy life style. And how many more years than that I knew which foods were best and which would hurt. Sadly when I started smoking enough of what was known wasn't relayed to the public. But thinking back to being a young brat starting college, I doubt I would have listened. After all, 17 was a time to know best for myself and do as I pleased. Well, I sure am paying to going to the movie I can't recall the name of and outspending myself on theater food that I can barely stand the smell as it cooks today and the agony of becoming smoke-free cold turkey, rather than taking a walk, cracking a book, and chowing down on my favorite fruits and veggies as I would do in the same position today. I walked 10 minutes yesterday afternoon and this morning and how nice it would be to be back to have those minutes move to at least 40-60 per day. And to taste the good food without burn and salty tastes. I'm finding myself very, very impatient to get back to all the good stuff. I can still hardly believe one of the first things I could no longer tolerate is frozen yogurt and single pieces of chocolate!! Is this truly me? I actually uttered the words, I don't want anything with sugar added - at least more than once a day! Spark has reinforced me back to my grade school days when I knew better and practiced what Sparks tries to teach us!
No, you don't want to be like me and wait far too long to miss out on all the wonderful great things available for you. Exercise to put a smile on your face, eat for balance, live a lifestyle that keeps you happy and thriving and just keep on being yourself. Don't let yourself balloon to 255 because you are unhappy and you're unhappy because you don't like the way you look because you ballooned to 255. Be good and kind to yourself and realize no one is perfect. If you slip and fall one day or even one week, you CAN always start again. Learn from the mistake and just be the best you that you can. Some days may be a struggle, but look how many aren't!! "Yeah man!! You CAN do that." You have faith in yourself and that enables others to have faith in you, too.
I really have to ask myself if I wished myself to be like someone else who I had no clue what their life was like, when I should have been working on being the best Ev that I can be.
Have a super terrific week.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Ev had a nasty radiation treatment this morning. The closer we get towards the end, the harder this is becoming for her. The sores in her mouth are awful and she has trouble swallowing. It amazes me that she can handle any of her radiation at all. I still give her the morphine every four hours, and she knows when it is time and let me know, too!! She carries her special mouth wash where ever we go now. The radiation burn on her left side is going away, but her right side has increased somewhat. The tumor is shrinking as they had anticipated. The radiation doctor and nurse say she has done fantastic for all she has endured. To top it off, she has taken off 11 lbs where they though she would have lost too much. Over all they are happy. She has 9 more treatments if all goes well.
Her sight has improved greatly. They changed her chemo med for nausea and that seemed to do the trick. Both her Chemo oncologist and nurse say you can see the pain and nausea leave her face as she "finishes" that portion.
But all is not well for her. Where the red cells were low. they are still down, but now the white count is acting up, too. She received some beautiful flowers, but they say until the white count is normal again, she can't be around fresh flowers. Neither of us can remember if they are up or down. This could also be a sign of her infection and something has been "masking" it.
Her iron is way low and as the doctor put it, giving it to her is liking trying to fill an empty hole. Thank goodness I see them tomorrow while Ev is having her radiation and see what is missing from her schedule papers, because something must be.
She slept most of yesterday when we got home and during today's chemo and so far this afternoon at home.
Please keep her in prayer and hold her up where she might fall.
Thanks to all who keep her in thoughts and cheery mail and goodies.
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