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taking a break. eek!

Thursday, January 21, 2010

this is month is terrible as far as bday's and eating bad food goes. december is easier for me to get through than january. my birthday, my bff's son's bday, my mil's bday and my sil's bday. sheesh! so every weekend there is a party or dinner event to attend. my birthday is monday and my party is saturday. so i've decided to take this week off. off as in, not tracking everything and not stressing over what i do end up eating this weekend. i know myself and i know if i am trying to keep track of everything i eat, yet keep saturday in mind and try to be cautious cause of it, i'll eat anything and everything! so far i've made smart choices. i know what i should and shouldn't be eating. i'm getting good at recognizing portions sizes. i've done real well so far!
my biggest fear when i'm really keeping track of everything i eat is when i run into something i can't get info on. like restraunt food. only major chains have online info. it scares the crap out of me to not be able to accurately record what i'm eating. i feel an anxiety attack coming on. with this in mind, i decided to record nothing and see how i do. i have a psuedo healthy dinner planned for my birthday (monday): homemade pulled pork sandwhiches and homemade fries. i just have to get through this weekend and next. then i'll be done and can avoid restraunts til march! i'll get back to tracking next week though. but i'm curious to see how my weigh in monday goes. up, down, the same...i'm totally freaked! it's helping me to stay in line and i hope i can keep this cautious feeling going all weekend.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

OBNOXIOUSGIRL3 1/23/2010 8:16PM

  Sometimes you need to get off track so that you feel better when you get back on. The biggest thing is that you are getting back on.

Hang in there. This is only temporary

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MOMFAN 1/21/2010 8:50PM

    Do the best you can. Have you check sparks to see if the restaurant is listing on Sparks with healthy alternatives? I would just put the restaurant name in on the search and see what comes up.

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TRIPLE_EMME 1/21/2010 11:23AM

    Good luck to you!

To help relieve some of the anxiety/stress that centers around the nutrition tracking component, perhaps you can add some extra activity during your "break" from the tracker? Just a suggestion.


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FITKAT2010 1/21/2010 10:58AM

    You have to ask yourself what you want your Lifestyle to be like and if that is what helps you lose weight and feel great, if indeed you want to lose weight and feel great..LOL

This is a battle. More of the mind and our conditioning than what we do/don't do. I'd take a look at that conditioning and see if anything needs to be changed. Such as fitting in with the family and friends. Wanting comfort sometimes wins over wanting healthy and fit.

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soda test: i drank 1 liter of diet dr. pepper

Monday, January 11, 2010

i gave up soda for my 2009 new year's resolution. i had my first rum and diet dr. pepper at 12:01 am january 1. then i had another january 2 cause the other one wasn't as enjoyable due to the alcohol i had consumed prior. those were enjoyable drinks. it's my favorite drink and i had missed it over the year. but i hadn't missed soda. before that year i would drink almost a liter a day. i knew it was doing things to me, but i didn't really know what. i decided in december of '09 i would drink a liter of soda at some point in january to see what it did.
the only concrete conclusion i had come to over the year was my headaches were gone. i would get bad headaches that would leave me darn near immobile for a day. i couldn't do anything but rub my head. they weren't constant, but they were annoying. last year i suddenly realized i wasn't getting them anymore. i rarely got headaches at all! just from allergies and stiff necks. wow! soda was causing my headaches.
going into this test i had a fear my somewhat addiction would come back. i feared my headaches would start again. but i needed to know what i was doing to myself so i could stop. yesterday i decided to give my body the test. i already knew the caffiene would freak me out. i've barely had any over the year. i went to the store and bought a liter of my old friend diet dr. pepper. i came home, poured it in a glass with some ice. and savored the wonderful dr. pepper taste. i sat down on the couch to listen to my body. first thing i noticed was my drunk-like chattering. some weird hyperness took over me. i had the munchies almost instantly. as i made my way through the bottle my stomache started to burn. not in a heart burn sort of way, more in the way your throat burns when the bubbles go down. i recognized this feeling! i had it almost daily in my soda days. then i realized as my tummy got more full of soda i had this hollow, empty feeling in it. like i could actually feel my stomache and knew it was empty. but it wasn't! it had soda and chips in it! i knew if i had been doing this mindlessly i would have found more food to eat. as i went through glass after glass i wanted more. even when it was gone i wanted more! this scared me! i didn't want it to turn into an addiction again. so i drank some carbonated water and tons of cold tap water. this seemed to help. then i ate dinner. my cravings were gone but my body was still feeling the effects. it was 8 o'clock, i should have been winding down. but my body was still feeling the buzz from caffiene. and whatever else was making it feel funny. chemicals, no doubt. i went to bed about 9:30, not cause i was tired, but because i feared i would never sleep. i was in bed with this weird awake and tired at the same time feeling. my body was tired, but my mind was not. luckily my body won over and i fell asleep without too much tossing and turning.
this was a great learning experience. i recognized all the feelings, physically and emotionally that the soda brought on. i had felt them all before. back then they seemed normal. yesterday they were foreign and slightly freaky. i can't believe i was doing that to myself all that time! i woke with a clear mind this morning and realized i wouldn't have an addiction problem of any sort. i was able to easily give it up last january and have no fear that staying away in the future will be a problem any time soon.

as a side note, i only drank diet soda. but diet dr. pepper was my first choice. so i thought it would be a great subject for this test. i'm sure the results would have been the same regardless of the soda i used.

i did not drop a significant amout of weight giving up soda. i only drank diet versions. i did however lose water weight/bloating, whatever you want to call it. and i snacked a whole lot less. that empty feeling i mentioned above was surely the cause of the snacking!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DANASEILHAN 2/1/2010 8:18PM

    I cope fine with sucralose (Splenda), but there is no major soda brand out there that only uses that as a sweetener. They all have aspartame or else a combination of sucralose and aspartame. I feel weird drinking any of them, although I love the stuff, much to my sorrow.

But if I'm just having Splenda-sweetened coffee, I'm usually OK. I usually limit myself to two cups a day, though.

My little girl's dad reacts to anything that isn't natural sugar. Even the polyols/sugar alcohols, which means he can't have Purevia or Truvia either, because they're both erithrytol-based. He does fine with plain stevia though.

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SPARKYNAZCA 2/1/2010 8:16PM

    What an interesting experience... I gave up MY beloved diet dr. pepper just this morning, coincidentally. This gives me motivation to give it up again tomorrow!

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TEALADY0531 1/25/2010 12:52PM

    I can't drink or eat anything with aspartame or sucralose in it because it is a migraine trigger for me. My husband used to drink a *lot* of Diet Pepsi; but gave it up when he began having headaches, stiff necks and dizzy spells. Lo and behold, as soon as he gave up the diet soda, those problems went away. Now he steers clear of artificial sweeteners as well. I have done my best to give up regular soda, as well, aside from an occasional glass - but am struggling to give up sweet tea! emoticon emoticon

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TILLIEBEE 1/25/2010 8:27AM

    Soooo interesting.
I gave up soda when I joined SP last year after a lifetime of drinking Diet Coke instead of water. I never connected those side effects, but now I do.
Thank you for writing this!

emoticon emoticon

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MOMFAN 1/16/2010 3:19AM

    Wow! You blog says it all!

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OBNOXIOUSGIRL3 1/12/2010 8:44PM

  Great Blog, Thanks for the info.

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NOEXCUSES4ME 1/12/2010 3:54PM

    Same here! Check out my page and my blog on Aspartame. You'll know exactly why you felt the way you did while drinking soda or pop!

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DEESJOURNEY2FIT 1/11/2010 5:30PM

    I love regular Dr Pepper. I have not had one in a week and am trying to keep it that way. Bravo to you to test yourself and see what would effects you would experience. A liter is a lot of soda. I'm glad you are doing better now!

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FIGHT2SURVIVE 1/11/2010 2:20PM

    I gave up soda last summer. Even though I drank diet, we are still told that may be even worse for us. The last three nights, I have had one de-caffeinated diet pop each night and my blood sugars rose as a result. I never heard of the dangers of diet soda until I joined Spark. Why aren't the doctors telling us these things?

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STITCH777 1/11/2010 1:18PM

    Wow, I am glad I read this. I have been drinking Diet dr. pepper and diet coke for years. It is amazing that some people tell you there is nothing wrong with diet pop and it is better than drinking regular pop. Others say it is not good for you at all. So I have been trying to cut back the pop I was drinking. I have noticed that I get hungry every time I drink it and that it is hard to eat something that satisfies the hunger. I thought this was probably all in my mind just a thought. Now that I read what you said I'm sure it is the pop. I will have to try harder and stop drinking it all together. Thanks for the blog.

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WILDHONEYPIE1 1/11/2010 12:54PM

    Wow, what an interesting experiment/observation. Thanks for sharing.

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ODALIS1 1/11/2010 11:02AM

    That's incredible. Our bodies really do tell us what they need and want. I'm so glad you rid yourself of a habit that was hurting you. Now keep going and do other amazing things!

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a long time ago we used to be friends

Thursday, January 07, 2010

a little over a month ago i wrote a blog about putting myself first and weeding out my toxic friends. yesterday i was texted by one of these toxic friends. we were best friends 10 years ago and in the past few years we've grown apart. this causes great heartache to me. especially since i'm the one who caused it and i can't do anything to fix it. it is what it is. he moved to florida in september and is back here now, though i didn't realize it. i just thought he was here for christmas. apparently he's staying here till he can move to california. this is how his life is. i just go with it.
he texted me yesterday to find out if i had a cd he wanted to copy. this is the only reason i knew he was in town anymore. he tends to contact people when he needs something from him. so yesterday i guess i sort of freaked out! i didn't work out. i bought potato chips and french onion dip! and this morning i didn't work out telling myself i'd do it after work. which is doable, but i haven't! and i didn't yesterday. ugh, my latest streak, as i mentioned yesterday, is over before it even got started!

guess i found one of my emotional eating triggers. i'm feeling pretty low right now and the chips just aren't cutting it. i was doing so well with my eating too! perfect since sunday morning! that's ok. i can pick myself up and brush off the dust before this gets the better of me.

even with all this i'm doing pretty well staying away from my more toxic friends while i get myself in order. this one just threw me off. i wasn't expecting him to make contact like that.

back to my isolation. haha! sounds worse than it is. i'm learning a lot about myself right now.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JESSYVIRGINY 1/8/2010 9:38AM

    don't worry, we al have friends like that. it gets better with time.

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TEENY_BIKINI 1/8/2010 7:26AM

    That was a beautifully written and honest post about real issues we face in life. Even though your friend is toxic, he helped to make you aware of a trigger and this is useful information. Knowing how to deal with our triggers is important - maybe that is a small positive to come out the situation. Also, you've learned something about yourself. So don't be so hard on yourself. You'll be okay. Get back on the wagon right away. And keep fighting for change.

You've accomplished a lot! You are awesome! And you can turn this situation around and come back even stronger.

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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REMCMFA 1/7/2010 9:26PM

    We all have friends like that. It seems that he texted you because he wanted something from you (to borrow a CD?). It didn't sound like he wanted to re-connect. Put the chips down and start your diet and exercise stuff now! Have a good day. Let him go.

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OAHARRIS 1/7/2010 8:40PM

    I also have a toxic friend. I felt so used by her. I finally let go. Recently, I've been thinking of her and wanting to call and see how she is doing but I know where it will lead. Can you do this or that? I've even eaten over it but I've moved on and until she figures out what she has done I'm going to continue to work on my own goals.

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ATHENA130 1/7/2010 8:33PM

    I think we all have some of those friends. It's funny because I had a similar thing last summer. Out of the blue, a friend from high school tracked me down and called me up on my birthday. Huh? There is a definite reason we lost touch - she wasn't really a friend and about 10 years ago, I made the mistake of going for lunch only to be subjected to a comparison to see who was doing better and then an all-out assault on what a terrible person I am because she wasn't doing better than I was and that I was to blame for everything wrong in her life. Ok... So needless to say when she contacted me I wasn't too thrilled to meet up because I figured it was another opportunity for a comparison and judging by the phone conversation, I know that I was right. She wanted to meet up again and being caught off guard, I told her maybe later and provided my email. She emailed me around the time I said that I might be able to meet up. I really didn't want to so I replied that I wasn't interested. And I got a nasty response back which just shows I was correct and I don't need toxic people like that.

But I know what you mean about it causing you stress and looking to food for comfort. But it does get easier! You deserve to have people in your life who truly are your friends and who care about you. Anyone who just wants something from you or who drains your energy is toxic and get rid of them!

Next time one of them contacts you, remember to put yourself and your needs first and no matter what they say/do, you are looking after yourself and that's the most important thing!

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FINDINGNIKKI 1/7/2010 8:18PM

    It's ok!! I have a few of those frinds.. sometimes I think that's all that's out there...Tomorrow is a new day

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birthday goals

Wednesday, January 06, 2010

i'm gonna stop making weight goals for awhile. though i am in a challege to lose 10 lbs by valentines day. i joined that before i decided on this one. anyway, my goal right now is to fit into large sized clothing by my birthday (jan 25). maybe i should say fit comfortably since i can technically put on a large t-shirt right now. i just wouldn't go out in public. haha.

i also want to buy a new pair of jeans for my bday. preferably smaller than my current jeans. now, this is entirely possible. the jeans i have on right now, for instance, can be pulled down without unbuttoning them. i can't wear any of my pants without wearing a belt. unless i'm just standing still. but i am terrified to go try jeans on. i'm afraid i won't be able to fit into a smaller size. my plan is to start with the same brand as what i'm wearing that day. then i'll just grab the next size down and go from there. but what if i can't get them over my thighs? or i can't button them?! what if i'm forever stuck in jeans that are too big?! man i hate shopping for jeans!

so i finally got "the spark". reading spark guys story, 'my story' has given me the desire to challenge myself to a workout streak. he went over 200 days straight working out! it never did give a total number of days, but i'm sure it's huge! so i'm going to be working on that streak for awhile.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TEENY_BIKINI 1/7/2010 11:15AM

    200 days straight - that's amazing. I wouldn't mind trying that too?

I like your new goal. Not everything is about a number on a scale.

Go diva go!

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MOMFAN 1/6/2010 10:49PM

    That is so not going to happen! Maybe it will even be two sizes lower!

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Jillian Michael's 30 day shred - day 9 (and some other stuff)

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

i've made it! every day! woo-hoo! i even got out of bed early on christmas day to get it done. my focus is now on not skipping new year's day. even if i'm hungover, i will complete the workout!

tomorrow will be my last day on the level 1. i'm nervous and excited about what is waiting for me in level 2. i'm doing pretty well with level 1, some days better than others. i can almost always complete the cardio portion without wanting to collapse. my lunges and squats are getting lower and i can even do a few sit ups.

my goal for the end of the 30 days is to be able to do a real push up and use my 5 lb weights for all the strength. right now i'm swithching between those and the 2 lb. and of course, to complete it in 30 consecutive days. so far so good!

i'm currently reading "the amazing adventures of dietgirl". what an awesome book! i read about it here on one of the daily blogs and reserved it from my library. i finally got it last week. it's so inspiring. and though dietgirl is a lot larger than me (she was 351 when she started her journey) i can totally relate to what she is going through and how she lives her life. if you haven't read this, i strongly recommend it.

tonight i'm picking up the biggest loser 30 day weightloss, or whatever, from the library. i have already read the book and decided i would work on this challenge in january. i'm going to start it sunday the 3. the 1st is not going to work cause i have a big family dinner. and a birthday party the 2nd. alcohol is going to be eliminated for the majority, so why set myself up to fail the first day?

speaking of alcohol, my b-day is jan 25. my mom- in-law is jan 18 and my sis-in-law is jan 26. lots of reasons to drink in jan. so, if the occasion arises, i'm going to allow myself beverages on those 3 occasions. plus we're going out to eat and i don't think that's included in the bl 30 day thing. hopefully by then i'll be in a rhythym and be able to behave myself and make smart choices.

i was hoping to be able to do "the spark" stuff in jan. but i won't even get the book til freaking jan 15th, or so. wth?! i preordered it from amazon and it said it would be released jan 4. now sp is saying today. wth? so i tried to cancel my preorder and amazon said i couldn't. and it will be arriving between the 11th and the 15th. i'm so annoyed! so i'll do the bl thing and study "the spark" until i'm done with that.

i'm going to complete my new year's goals this week then i'll share them with you all.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GETHEALTHY231 1/2/2010 3:58PM

    Great job following through on your goal! Keep it up! I'm impressed and you have motivated me to do the same streak of 30 days with a kickboxing DVD I have. This is day 3 for me! Thanks for the motivation - we can do this! It actually feels great to know we can just do it!

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DARCEYOH 12/29/2009 2:12PM

    9 days is impressive! Keep it up!

Dietgirl is a good book, even if it.... wait won't tell you the ending.

That's weird you won't get the book til then. Mine says the 4th-7th, and shipped out today.

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