EVRLNGFOO   31,563
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motivation

Thursday, December 17, 2009

so my mother in law says to me, did you lose weight? yes! finally someone noticed! so that was a great feeling and rather motivating.

ok, so i know you're not supposed to buy clothes with the hope of one day fitting into them. and i really try not to. today i went to jcp to buy a pea coat they had on sale. i tried on the xl, it was a bit small with my sweatshirt on. but that is too big on me. so i tried the large. that was almost too small. so i bought the xl. when i got home and tried it on without my sweatshirt it was a bit too big, but comfy. and i know if i continue to lose weight it's going to be too big and by next year i won't be able to wear it. i hope!

so here's my plan. i can't wear it til after christmas cause i bought dh a coat on black friday he's wanted for awhile. if i wear mine he'll either know i got him one or whine that i didn't. lol! so i have a week to get into the large and hopefully return the xl for that size. this will hopefully give me motivation to get through the holidays.

sounds like a doable plan?

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOMFAN 12/21/2009 12:14AM

    I had to buy a new coat for this winter. If it doesn't fit next winter, I will be buying a new one! You go girl, you can do this!

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CHEERFULJANE 12/18/2009 9:36AM

    I think it's a grand plan :)

Go for the large !!! You can do it !!!

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FITKAT2010 12/17/2009 8:53PM

    A new coat is a wonderful motivator, when it is in a smaller size. People noticing your weight loss is also.

But, there has to be more than that.

Make a list of why this is important to you.

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POPSGRYL63X 12/17/2009 8:10PM

    I like your shopping strategy! Happy Holidays!

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daily goal and food, inc

Thursday, December 10, 2009

today i am going to work out! i can't remember the last time i worked out. november something. before thanksgiving. ugh, this is why i'm suckage lately. i'm going straight to the library after work. then straight home to work out. no excuses! no putting it off til a little later. no kitchen to clean. i have no excuses!

on friday i watched "food, inc". i was going to do a blog about it, but forgot til now. i've read "fast food nation" and "skinny bitch", seen "super size me" and "fast food nation" (which did not do justice to the book) but this movie was just wow! it was more like the book ffn (it was produced by the author). it shows the horror of the food industry, the slaughter houses, the illnesses, the abuse to both animals and humans. it's awful! i cried, i gagged,was in disbelief, but i want to watch it again. it's a documentary, similar to something you may see on the discovery channel. it's something people need to know about and be aware of. it shows how you can get e coli from spinach. how animals are raised and then butchered in mass warehouse/slaughter houses. ew. you don't eat dirt, but you'll eat that steak.
then it shows an organic farmer who raises both cattle and chicken (maybe more) and how he butchers his meat. which the fda does not approve of. they'd prefer your cattle stand knee deep in manure before getting shot in the head.

it talks about the rise of organic foods and companies. btw, don't buy horizon brand organic dairy. they don't use actual organic methods. just fda methods, which aren't fully organic. anyway, the market for organic foods is growing very quickly. which is something that needs to happen for consumers like us to be able to afford it over cheap, low quality food and fast food. surprisingly, with the help of wal mart the market is soaring. the more organic food we buy the lower the prices will become cause the farmers are making more profit. the reason fast food and other processed foods are so cheap is cause they are so cheap to make. they have so many chemicals and the food is engineered to taste certain ways. it doesn't actually have to contain fruit to be fruit juice. their profit is huge! we as a nation need to turn this trend around and make healthy food more affordable to the masses.

if you have netflix "food, inc" is available for instant queue. i strongly recommend watching it. it's an eye opener. if you ever needed a reason to eat healthy and stop with the mc donalds this will help you!

i decided earlier that i would work on making my diet mostly organic and unprocessed for my 2010 goals. i've now added zero fast food. i'll allow subway if there is no other choice.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DAUSTINFAN 12/10/2009 7:06PM

    I think you just convinced me to go rent the movie!

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CHEERFULJANE 12/10/2009 12:54PM

    Great blog. I wanna watch that. Sounds very educational. Will check netflix. I've seen the others you listed.

I stopped eating processed foods months ago. I feel and look so much healthier.

The FDA regulations are ridiculous. Films like this are a great way to educate people and get them to take action.

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are you ready!

Tuesday, December 08, 2009

i'm reading this book, are you ready, by bob harper. in the first couple chapters it asks you to figure out how you got to where you are now and what makes you want to change your life.

so i'm thinking...i gained weight in my early 20s. i was about 30 lbs overweight then i decided to lose it all. i was unhappy. i needed a change. i got about 5 lbs from my goal weight and just started putting it all back on. plus about 50 for good measure. i'm not really sure what triggered the weight gain. this was 2005, i can't pinpoint a good moment or event that i can reflect on and wonder why. but i do know i've been very unhappy for the past few years. i feel like a failure in life. i'm almost 30 (in a little over a month) and i have very little to show for it. i have no kids, i've been married for 8 years and i have just now bought my first house. i know those last two things are wonderful accomplishments. but they are tarnished by the fact that it's taken me 8 years to get a house. and who doesn't have children within the first 8 years of marriage? ok, i'm sure there are plenty of people out there who fit into that category. it was never my intention.

i just feel like i've wasted my life.

i'm sure this unhappiness has caused me to gain the weight. i just don't know how to change it and who i am. or what i've become. i can't just go out and get pregnant tomorrow. i am not financially stable enough to do that. not to mention healthy enough. i'm not getting any younger, time just keeps slipping by. i've lost control of my life and i need to fix it.

i'm sure crying over this isn't going to help. but it seems to be all i can do. at least that kind of makes me realize i've answered bob's questions. i know why i am here today, and i know why i want to change. but i feel like i'm hitting a wall. i can't move forward cause i can't change what i'm so disapointed in. i keep looking too far into the future. it's too overwhelming. i need to focus on today. but today is so stressful. it's all about making ends meet, hanging on to a job, buying christmas presents, ect. the stress just keeps piling on.

i need to get around this wall and move forward. i have goals! i want to succeed! i feel stuck and i don't want to feel that way anymore. i know sp and all it's tools hold the tools to my journey. but i can't seem to figure out a way to really get started.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALLYBGOOD05 12/9/2009 8:57AM

    First of all, like everyone else has said, you are doing something about your unhappiness and that's the most important thing. Second, there is NOTHING wrong about NOT having kids in the first 8 years of marriage. My parents decided to wait 13 years before having me so they could enjoy married life...go on vacations, have parties, all without kids. Let me tell you something too...I am 22. I had my son at 20. I was not at all ready financially (or mentally for that matter, LOL) to have children. This stress sent me into a deep post partum depression. If you have been unhappy because of various circumstances, you're far better off waiting to have children. And if you don't think you're financially stable, you are blessed to have waited. It is very agonizing worrying about money while getting two hours of sleep a night and waking to a screaming baby. I also see nothing wrong in not getting a house right away. I understand your feeling, because a lot of people I went to high school with are now buying houses and I'm here with my son in our little townhouse, but hey, NOTHING WRONG WITH IT!

What matters most is you're happy and healthy. For you, for your husband, and for your FUTURE children. You can do all this. There is nothing wrong with you, in fact, you are amazing that you are willing to step out there and take this journey. Good luck with everything. emoticon

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ZOLLINGERMOMOF3 12/9/2009 4:07AM

    You have made progress by deciding to make changes. Not accepting life as is...and that you can be healthier! You are in the right spot...keep blogging and reading the inspirational stories here on SP!God Bless! emoticon

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FITMYPANTSO9 12/8/2009 11:13PM

    You are going to be okay. Learn to accept yourself and what you are now....what you have now. Use the future as a goal to work too. Set small goals....and before long you will be where you want to be. When we look at the big picture....we can get overwhelmed. When we set one large goal...we have no way to get there and then we devastate our self-esteem more. These are not magic words to make everything better...but they are a way to get a footing to weight loss or any goal in your life. Sparkers are here for you and please email me anytime you need someone to listen or for some motivation and I will do the best I can to help. I know the support from our fellow Sparkers is a great help to me...it simply motivates me....it is a blessing from God. Thank you for sharing your story and struggle with us. emoticon

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CHEERFULJANE 12/8/2009 9:57PM

    You haven't had kids because you're smart. You're gonna be a great mother one day because you know that it takes your full commitment and financial stability. You're only 29 !!! You have plenty of time to have kids !! It doesn't matter how long you've been married for.

You have a house. That IS a MASSIVE achievement. emoticon

Looking ahead to the future is NOT a bad thing. It only becomes overwhelming when you don't plan in small chunks.

When I was 12 I made a decision to spend my 20's traveling the world and then settle in either the UK or US when I was 30 and then get married and have kids.
I did just that. I am 32 now and only got married last year. I plan on losing the weight and then having a kid or 3 :)

Don't stress. Take it one step at a time emoticon

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TRIGFROST 12/8/2009 8:31PM

    You know you have to go though,to get to the other side,

1. You're better off then some, Your mature. Not homeless.
& this is quite a [big deal] in the long run.
2. Steady on your feet..not broke.
3. people love you
4. You count your blessings your self .
5. you are working on your weight.
6. Focus on the Postitives, not down, look up.change your
direction...and talk..
7. Quite looking at the wall. look though the wall to the other side and walk, the wall will disappear...

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REAL_FOOD 12/8/2009 8:23PM

    And, yes, that is the oh-so-hot-and-gorgeous Jared. *drooling* So now he's on your page, too!

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REAL_FOOD 12/8/2009 8:23PM

    I can hear how discouraged you sound. You have the way, you have the will, but you're having trouble putting them both together.

The way to start anything is just to start. One day, one meal, one credit card payment, one baby-making session :) at a time...Whatever it is you want, you know how to get it. So you just DO IT for one day. If your weight loss is the priority, then sit down and make a plan for what you're going to eat and what kind of exercise you're going to do and then DO IT. Don't make it overwhelming and impossible...don't say you're going to eat three leaves of lettuce and a grape and do 60 minutes on the elliptical; that's a sure route to failure. Just sit down and write out maybe 3 breakfasts, three lunches and three dinners that you could eat over the next week. They don't even have to be necessarily low in calories. Just controlling what you eat at this point will be beneficial and you will see a drop on the scale, even if it's not 1400 cals or whatever crazy number spark tells you to be at.

For the fitness, my favorite way to get started is to get yourself an early Christmas gift of a pedometer. A decent one will set you back about 12 bucks. If you're not moving much right now, shoot for 5,000 steps a day. If that's a piece of cake, go up by 1,000 every day till you get to 10,000. That's how you do it...one step at a time.

You've succeeded before. I had, too. Lost 30 pounds on WW and gained it all back plus another 20 when I had my first child, who is freaking EIGHT! We lost the weight through mindful eating and regular exercise. We didn't gain it back because there was some big trauma in our lives, we gained it back because we were lazy and lost our focus. It happens.

But it can also change. You can't "undo" a family crisis, or the loss of a job, or the death of a loved one. You CAN undo mindlessness and complacency.

You can do it. I'm doing it every day and so can you!! It's not always easy, but it's worth it and the only way I can imagine living.

GOOD LUCK!!!

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i need to put myself first

Sunday, November 29, 2009

i haven't been here since wednesday morning. that can't be good! i've sucked this weekend. not only on thursday. that i can forgive myself for. the rest, i just need to forget about otherwise i'm going to come up with lame excuses. so moving on...

i came to realize this weekend that i have a few good friends (and i really need to decide who they are) and i have a few friends who bring nothing but drama and stress to my life. i know who they are. i just need to figure out if any of them can fit into the first category. i need to surround myself with the friends in the first category. the others, well, if they are real friends they will be around when i'm in a position to let not-so-great things back into my life. right? they make me feel bad about myself, make me want to drink, pressure me to do things i don't want to do, cause a lot of stress and drama i'm not even involved with. worst of all, they make me feel ashamed for wanting to be the best person i can be. now granted, these people don't know they do all this. i can't blame them for causing some of these problems. i'm the type of person who absorbs the moods and feelings of people i'm around. whether it be friends, family or co-workers.

so right now my plan is to avoid darn near everyone to decide what it is they bring to my life. good or bad. it'll be easy, everyone is so busy with the holidays they don't have time for others themselves. i'll just be real busy. and once the holidays are over i'll be trying to cut back and save up some money from the hit my savings account took from christmas. doable, right?

my birthday is in january. i already have a hunch who is going to show up for that. that will really help my decide who cares about me.

i really hope this isn't sounding mean or selfish or anything. i just have a lot of toxic people in my life. they aren't helping me to become the best person i can be. they aren't supporting me in my weight loss journey. and that's what i need right now. and since i'm thinking these things about them, i'mprobably not doing them much good either.

the next few months will consist of me focusing on me. getting in shape, losing weight, focusing on changing my life for the best. getting my finances in order, starting a family, and just eliminating stress. i've been living with it for too long.

this has all been weighing heavily on my mind. saturday it exploded after having built up for so long. i hope i can focus and do what i need to get my life going in a positive direction. i need to remember who i am, that i'm important and that i need to put myself first.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BGMUNCHKIN 11/30/2009 11:04AM

    Oh boy! I can relate to your situation. I too have friends who are what I call toxic for me. the encourage me to drink when I know I don't really need to drink. They create drama around them and then i suck into the drama that is not my own. I also have birthday in January and am waiting to see what people will do for my birthday. I won't make a fuss about my own day, but will for friends. Good luck with the stepping back and assessing what you want to do about your friends. You can make the best choices for you. emoticon

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LINDA25427 11/30/2009 7:32AM

    Sweetie you need to put yourself first on this journey to lose weight it is a hard journey and you need to focus on it . If the people in your life are dragging you down you need to move away from them and concentrate on you and what you want first take care of yourself then you will be strong enough to take care of the rest .i wish you the best on this journey . We are here for you . Take care .God bless. Hugs emoticon

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FITKAT2010 11/30/2009 6:36AM

    Emotional Eating and emotional drama go hand in hand. Throwing in the towel with your program follows.

Join in on your teams and be active and involved with people who have the same goals as you do.

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MOMFAN 11/30/2009 3:44AM

    I understand! Sometimes we just need to take a step back and figure out what is the right thing for us! Coming to the understanding that I am not responsible for others actions, I am only responsible for my action and reactions. That is all God holds me accountable for.

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MAGA99 11/29/2009 11:07PM

    IT MAY NOT BE EASY BUT ONCE YOU DO IT
U WILL FEEL GREAT WHEN ALL THE NEGATIVITY IS GONE

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oh mah effing gawd! i finally lost 10 pounds!

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

squee! i'm so flipping excited! those of you who read my blog yesterday read all about how horrible last week was. i didn't do anything right. i was pmsing, lazy, even unmotivated in my water drinking. that never happens! i was eating crackers, chips, stashed halloween candy. i even microwaved a s'more! all this in the time i should have been exercising. sad. pathetic. never want that to happen again!

monday's are my usual weigh in days, but i forgot yesterday. i was hoping that one day would make up for last week and the excessive amounts of alcohol i had friday night. and the arby's i totally forgot i had sunday. jeez! so i weighed in this morning fearful of what i'd see when i looked down. omg! i lost 1.5 lbs!!! how?!

i'm really not going to wonder how or how much of a fluke it is. are the batteries in the scale dying? i'm going to take it and run! i won't make my goal for november, but maybe i can hit 220? which was, sadly, my sept and oct goal.

i started spark people in may. i actually wasn't looking for the site when i joined. i was reading a book review and someone mentioned it in their review. so i stopped by and thought it was pretty cool so i joined. i've been wanting/trying to lose weight for years. but when i joined i was so busy and broke trying to buy a house. so i lurked, read articles, visted teams, joined some teams, earned points, read and participated a bit in the stages. then came sept. summer was over, the house buying flurry was done. and i had lost 3 lbs. which could have been more from all the sweat and pain i endured with moving. but i drank a lot of beer! i knew the beer was my biggest reason for not losing (and for gaining over the past few years) so last month i pledged to give up alcohol til new year's eve. i've done alright, but i've had a few moments where life got in the way and $&!% happens. i am not emotionally ready to lose weight. i am losing for the wrong reasons. i still need to accept that i need to lose weight for myself. but i forget and just want to look awesome in a pair of jeans. which is when the frustration steps in. so i'm working on doing this for me.

i'm rather disapointed in my progress. basically, i've lost 10 lbs in three months. i know this is because i haven't been trying and working as hard as i could be. i know i have a fear of success. i accepted that about a year ago. but i need to get over it. something happened to me to cause me to gain all this weight. i need to figure out what it is. 2005 i was 5 lbs away from my goal weight. i had been about 40 lbs overweight. cause of school, work, lack of time to take care of myself. from that point i gained over 80 lbs. i want to know why. i gave up on myself. why? my friends all moved away. i hated my job. i was just unhappy. i need to fix all that. and myself.

sorry for being rambly. thank you to all who have read this far.

i'm off to change my profile pic!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JESSYVIRGINY 11/26/2009 10:55AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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EVRLNGFOO 11/24/2009 9:27PM

    thanks for all the wonderful comments, everyone! i really appreciate the support and advice.

5 more lbs and i get a haircut! woo!

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BECKYSRN 11/24/2009 6:59PM

    10 # is a start! The biggest hurdle is figuring out that you have to lose weight for YOU, not for anyone or anything else. You'll get there!
Blessed be.

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JASI27 11/24/2009 3:12PM

    That ROCKS!!! It is these unexpected little surprises that keeps me going. I suffer badly from PMS/PMDD and go through 2 bad weeks a month, so I constantly feel like all my efforts are worthless, but I am still losing, so I keep going on my two good weeks! YOU CAN DO THIS!!
Defeat it, don't let it defeat you! Stay strong girl! Good Luck! Lean on all of your spark friends! We will always be here to help you out!

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CHEERFULJANE 11/24/2009 12:56PM

    Congratulations emoticon

I agree that it can be hard to lose weight if you are not emotionally ready. I hope that you get to figuring it all out soon and get down to your goal weight.

I am on your team in the BL challenge. We've gotta stick together and motivate each other.

BTW... the title of this blog really got my attention... ha ha ha....

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VELLI518 11/24/2009 12:42PM

    Yay!!!!

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POWERGIRL527 11/24/2009 11:48AM

    Amazing on the 10lbs...way to go!!

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ETAGGEL 11/24/2009 11:44AM

    Well done! You have lost 1o lbs! You also realise that you have to do this for yourself. Keep with it!


Phyllis

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LOLEMA 11/24/2009 11:34AM

  Way to go!

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