Tuesday, December 29, 2009
i've made it! every day! woo-hoo! i even got out of bed early on christmas day to get it done. my focus is now on not skipping new year's day. even if i'm hungover, i will complete the workout!
tomorrow will be my last day on the level 1. i'm nervous and excited about what is waiting for me in level 2. i'm doing pretty well with level 1, some days better than others. i can almost always complete the cardio portion without wanting to collapse. my lunges and squats are getting lower and i can even do a few sit ups.
my goal for the end of the 30 days is to be able to do a real push up and use my 5 lb weights for all the strength. right now i'm swithching between those and the 2 lb. and of course, to complete it in 30 consecutive days. so far so good!
i'm currently reading "the amazing adventures of dietgirl". what an awesome book! i read about it here on one of the daily blogs and reserved it from my library. i finally got it last week. it's so inspiring. and though dietgirl is a lot larger than me (she was 351 when she started her journey) i can totally relate to what she is going through and how she lives her life. if you haven't read this, i strongly recommend it.
tonight i'm picking up the biggest loser 30 day weightloss, or whatever, from the library. i have already read the book and decided i would work on this challenge in january. i'm going to start it sunday the 3. the 1st is not going to work cause i have a big family dinner. and a birthday party the 2nd. alcohol is going to be eliminated for the majority, so why set myself up to fail the first day?
speaking of alcohol, my b-day is jan 25. my mom- in-law is jan 18 and my sis-in-law is jan 26. lots of reasons to drink in jan. so, if the occasion arises, i'm going to allow myself beverages on those 3 occasions. plus we're going out to eat and i don't think that's included in the bl 30 day thing. hopefully by then i'll be in a rhythym and be able to behave myself and make smart choices.
i was hoping to be able to do "the spark" stuff in jan. but i won't even get the book til freaking jan 15th, or so. wth?! i preordered it from amazon and it said it would be released jan 4. now sp is saying today. wth? so i tried to cancel my preorder and amazon said i couldn't. and it will be arriving between the 11th and the 15th. i'm so annoyed! so i'll do the bl thing and study "the spark" until i'm done with that.
i'm going to complete my new year's goals this week then i'll share them with you all.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
i saw the dvd for the 30 day shred on sale this weekend so i picked it up. my goal was, and still is, to complete it in 30 consecutive days. omg! it kicked my butt yesterday! i did it in the morning and i could already feel it in my arms when i was cleaning house. all i could think was how great today was going to be! lol! i had to use my 2 lb weights when i was doing the strenght training portion of the circuit this morning. i feel like a whimp! but i did it! i finished. woot! i still can't complete the jumping jack and jump rope portion of the dvd. i have to stop for a couple seconds and get water. but i won't give up! i'll complete it. i can just imagine what level 2 will be like.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
today i am going to work out! i can't remember the last time i worked out. november something. before thanksgiving. ugh, this is why i'm suckage lately. i'm going straight to the library after work. then straight home to work out. no excuses! no putting it off til a little later. no kitchen to clean. i have no excuses!
on friday i watched "food, inc". i was going to do a blog about it, but forgot til now. i've read "fast food nation" and "skinny bitch", seen "super size me" and "fast food nation" (which did not do justice to the book) but this movie was just wow! it was more like the book ffn (it was produced by the author). it shows the horror of the food industry, the slaughter houses, the illnesses, the abuse to both animals and humans. it's awful! i cried, i gagged,was in disbelief, but i want to watch it again. it's a documentary, similar to something you may see on the discovery channel. it's something people need to know about and be aware of. it shows how you can get e coli from spinach. how animals are raised and then butchered in mass warehouse/slaughter houses. ew. you don't eat dirt, but you'll eat that steak.
then it shows an organic farmer who raises both cattle and chicken (maybe more) and how he butchers his meat. which the fda does not approve of. they'd prefer your cattle stand knee deep in manure before getting shot in the head.
it talks about the rise of organic foods and companies. btw, don't buy horizon brand organic dairy. they don't use actual organic methods. just fda methods, which aren't fully organic. anyway, the market for organic foods is growing very quickly. which is something that needs to happen for consumers like us to be able to afford it over cheap, low quality food and fast food. surprisingly, with the help of wal mart the market is soaring. the more organic food we buy the lower the prices will become cause the farmers are making more profit. the reason fast food and other processed foods are so cheap is cause they are so cheap to make. they have so many chemicals and the food is engineered to taste certain ways. it doesn't actually have to contain fruit to be fruit juice. their profit is huge! we as a nation need to turn this trend around and make healthy food more affordable to the masses.
if you have netflix "food, inc" is available for instant queue. i strongly recommend watching it. it's an eye opener. if you ever needed a reason to eat healthy and stop with the mc donalds this will help you!
i decided earlier that i would work on making my diet mostly organic and unprocessed for my 2010 goals. i've now added zero fast food. i'll allow subway if there is no other choice.
Tuesday, December 08, 2009
i'm reading this book, are you ready, by bob harper. in the first couple chapters it asks you to figure out how you got to where you are now and what makes you want to change your life.
so i'm thinking...i gained weight in my early 20s. i was about 30 lbs overweight then i decided to lose it all. i was unhappy. i needed a change. i got about 5 lbs from my goal weight and just started putting it all back on. plus about 50 for good measure. i'm not really sure what triggered the weight gain. this was 2005, i can't pinpoint a good moment or event that i can reflect on and wonder why. but i do know i've been very unhappy for the past few years. i feel like a failure in life. i'm almost 30 (in a little over a month) and i have very little to show for it. i have no kids, i've been married for 8 years and i have just now bought my first house. i know those last two things are wonderful accomplishments. but they are tarnished by the fact that it's taken me 8 years to get a house. and who doesn't have children within the first 8 years of marriage? ok, i'm sure there are plenty of people out there who fit into that category. it was never my intention.
i just feel like i've wasted my life.
i'm sure this unhappiness has caused me to gain the weight. i just don't know how to change it and who i am. or what i've become. i can't just go out and get pregnant tomorrow. i am not financially stable enough to do that. not to mention healthy enough. i'm not getting any younger, time just keeps slipping by. i've lost control of my life and i need to fix it.
i'm sure crying over this isn't going to help. but it seems to be all i can do. at least that kind of makes me realize i've answered bob's questions. i know why i am here today, and i know why i want to change. but i feel like i'm hitting a wall. i can't move forward cause i can't change what i'm so disapointed in. i keep looking too far into the future. it's too overwhelming. i need to focus on today. but today is so stressful. it's all about making ends meet, hanging on to a job, buying christmas presents, ect. the stress just keeps piling on.
i need to get around this wall and move forward. i have goals! i want to succeed! i feel stuck and i don't want to feel that way anymore. i know sp and all it's tools hold the tools to my journey. but i can't seem to figure out a way to really get started.
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