EVRLNGFOO   32,069
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a long time ago we used to be friends

Thursday, January 07, 2010

a little over a month ago i wrote a blog about putting myself first and weeding out my toxic friends. yesterday i was texted by one of these toxic friends. we were best friends 10 years ago and in the past few years we've grown apart. this causes great heartache to me. especially since i'm the one who caused it and i can't do anything to fix it. it is what it is. he moved to florida in september and is back here now, though i didn't realize it. i just thought he was here for christmas. apparently he's staying here till he can move to california. this is how his life is. i just go with it.
he texted me yesterday to find out if i had a cd he wanted to copy. this is the only reason i knew he was in town anymore. he tends to contact people when he needs something from him. so yesterday i guess i sort of freaked out! i didn't work out. i bought potato chips and french onion dip! and this morning i didn't work out telling myself i'd do it after work. which is doable, but i haven't! and i didn't yesterday. ugh, my latest streak, as i mentioned yesterday, is over before it even got started!

guess i found one of my emotional eating triggers. i'm feeling pretty low right now and the chips just aren't cutting it. i was doing so well with my eating too! perfect since sunday morning! that's ok. i can pick myself up and brush off the dust before this gets the better of me.

even with all this i'm doing pretty well staying away from my more toxic friends while i get myself in order. this one just threw me off. i wasn't expecting him to make contact like that.

back to my isolation. haha! sounds worse than it is. i'm learning a lot about myself right now.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JESSYVIRGINY 1/8/2010 9:38AM

    don't worry, we al have friends like that. it gets better with time.
jessy

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TEENY_BIKINI 1/8/2010 7:26AM

    That was a beautifully written and honest post about real issues we face in life. Even though your friend is toxic, he helped to make you aware of a trigger and this is useful information. Knowing how to deal with our triggers is important - maybe that is a small positive to come out the situation. Also, you've learned something about yourself. So don't be so hard on yourself. You'll be okay. Get back on the wagon right away. And keep fighting for change.

You've accomplished a lot! You are awesome! And you can turn this situation around and come back even stronger.

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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REMCMFA 1/7/2010 9:26PM

    We all have friends like that. It seems that he texted you because he wanted something from you (to borrow a CD?). It didn't sound like he wanted to re-connect. Put the chips down and start your diet and exercise stuff now! Have a good day. Let him go.

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OAHARRIS 1/7/2010 8:40PM

    I also have a toxic friend. I felt so used by her. I finally let go. Recently, I've been thinking of her and wanting to call and see how she is doing but I know where it will lead. Can you do this or that? I've even eaten over it but I've moved on and until she figures out what she has done I'm going to continue to work on my own goals.

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ATHENA130 1/7/2010 8:33PM

    I think we all have some of those friends. It's funny because I had a similar thing last summer. Out of the blue, a friend from high school tracked me down and called me up on my birthday. Huh? There is a definite reason we lost touch - she wasn't really a friend and about 10 years ago, I made the mistake of going for lunch only to be subjected to a comparison to see who was doing better and then an all-out assault on what a terrible person I am because she wasn't doing better than I was and that I was to blame for everything wrong in her life. Ok... So needless to say when she contacted me I wasn't too thrilled to meet up because I figured it was another opportunity for a comparison and judging by the phone conversation, I know that I was right. She wanted to meet up again and being caught off guard, I told her maybe later and provided my email. She emailed me around the time I said that I might be able to meet up. I really didn't want to so I replied that I wasn't interested. And I got a nasty response back which just shows I was correct and I don't need toxic people like that.

But I know what you mean about it causing you stress and looking to food for comfort. But it does get easier! You deserve to have people in your life who truly are your friends and who care about you. Anyone who just wants something from you or who drains your energy is toxic and get rid of them!

Next time one of them contacts you, remember to put yourself and your needs first and no matter what they say/do, you are looking after yourself and that's the most important thing!

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FINDINGNIKKI 1/7/2010 8:18PM

    It's ok!! I have a few of those frinds.. sometimes I think that's all that's out there...Tomorrow is a new day

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birthday goals

Wednesday, January 06, 2010

i'm gonna stop making weight goals for awhile. though i am in a challege to lose 10 lbs by valentines day. i joined that before i decided on this one. anyway, my goal right now is to fit into large sized clothing by my birthday (jan 25). maybe i should say fit comfortably since i can technically put on a large t-shirt right now. i just wouldn't go out in public. haha.

i also want to buy a new pair of jeans for my bday. preferably smaller than my current jeans. now, this is entirely possible. the jeans i have on right now, for instance, can be pulled down without unbuttoning them. i can't wear any of my pants without wearing a belt. unless i'm just standing still. but i am terrified to go try jeans on. i'm afraid i won't be able to fit into a smaller size. my plan is to start with the same brand as what i'm wearing that day. then i'll just grab the next size down and go from there. but what if i can't get them over my thighs? or i can't button them?! what if i'm forever stuck in jeans that are too big?! man i hate shopping for jeans!

so i finally got "the spark". reading spark guys story, 'my story' has given me the desire to challenge myself to a workout streak. he went over 200 days straight working out! it never did give a total number of days, but i'm sure it's huge! so i'm going to be working on that streak for awhile.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TEENY_BIKINI 1/7/2010 11:15AM

    200 days straight - that's amazing. I wouldn't mind trying that too?

I like your new goal. Not everything is about a number on a scale.

Go diva go!

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MOMFAN 1/6/2010 10:49PM

    That is so not going to happen! Maybe it will even be two sizes lower!

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Jillian Michael's 30 day shred - day 9 (and some other stuff)

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

i've made it! every day! woo-hoo! i even got out of bed early on christmas day to get it done. my focus is now on not skipping new year's day. even if i'm hungover, i will complete the workout!

tomorrow will be my last day on the level 1. i'm nervous and excited about what is waiting for me in level 2. i'm doing pretty well with level 1, some days better than others. i can almost always complete the cardio portion without wanting to collapse. my lunges and squats are getting lower and i can even do a few sit ups.

my goal for the end of the 30 days is to be able to do a real push up and use my 5 lb weights for all the strength. right now i'm swithching between those and the 2 lb. and of course, to complete it in 30 consecutive days. so far so good!

i'm currently reading "the amazing adventures of dietgirl". what an awesome book! i read about it here on one of the daily blogs and reserved it from my library. i finally got it last week. it's so inspiring. and though dietgirl is a lot larger than me (she was 351 when she started her journey) i can totally relate to what she is going through and how she lives her life. if you haven't read this, i strongly recommend it.

tonight i'm picking up the biggest loser 30 day weightloss, or whatever, from the library. i have already read the book and decided i would work on this challenge in january. i'm going to start it sunday the 3. the 1st is not going to work cause i have a big family dinner. and a birthday party the 2nd. alcohol is going to be eliminated for the majority, so why set myself up to fail the first day?

speaking of alcohol, my b-day is jan 25. my mom- in-law is jan 18 and my sis-in-law is jan 26. lots of reasons to drink in jan. so, if the occasion arises, i'm going to allow myself beverages on those 3 occasions. plus we're going out to eat and i don't think that's included in the bl 30 day thing. hopefully by then i'll be in a rhythym and be able to behave myself and make smart choices.

i was hoping to be able to do "the spark" stuff in jan. but i won't even get the book til freaking jan 15th, or so. wth?! i preordered it from amazon and it said it would be released jan 4. now sp is saying today. wth? so i tried to cancel my preorder and amazon said i couldn't. and it will be arriving between the 11th and the 15th. i'm so annoyed! so i'll do the bl thing and study "the spark" until i'm done with that.

i'm going to complete my new year's goals this week then i'll share them with you all.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GETHEALTHY231 1/2/2010 3:58PM

    Great job following through on your goal! Keep it up! I'm impressed and you have motivated me to do the same streak of 30 days with a kickboxing DVD I have. This is day 3 for me! Thanks for the motivation - we can do this! It actually feels great to know we can just do it!

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DARCEYOH 12/29/2009 2:12PM

    9 days is impressive! Keep it up!

Dietgirl is a good book, even if it.... wait won't tell you the ending.

That's weird you won't get the book til then. Mine says the 4th-7th, and shipped out today.

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jillian michael's 30 day shred. day 2

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

i saw the dvd for the 30 day shred on sale this weekend so i picked it up. my goal was, and still is, to complete it in 30 consecutive days. omg! it kicked my butt yesterday! i did it in the morning and i could already feel it in my arms when i was cleaning house. all i could think was how great today was going to be! lol! i had to use my 2 lb weights when i was doing the strenght training portion of the circuit this morning. i feel like a whimp! but i did it! i finished. woot! i still can't complete the jumping jack and jump rope portion of the dvd. i have to stop for a couple seconds and get water. but i won't give up! i'll complete it. i can just imagine what level 2 will be like.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TEENY_BIKINI 12/29/2009 11:25PM

    I just purchased this DVD for myself as a Christmas present. This seems like a great challenge and what a great idea. I think I might try it. Thanks for the motivation!!! emoticon

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MOMFAN 12/23/2009 11:12PM

    emoticon

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DARCEYOH 12/22/2009 5:12PM

    Even if it's just a couple of days, being able to do it for that long is a great achievement! I couldn't do the jumping jacks, nor do full complete jump rope moves. But I did modify them enough to continue through it.

Oh how I hope that that's under the tree this year! It's one of my favorite workout dvd's!

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GETHEALTHY231 12/22/2009 3:49PM

    That is amazing - I hope your report back and tell us in 30 days that you met your goal of 30 consecutive days! WooHoo - go for it!

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KATIE4KIDS 12/22/2009 3:38PM

    How long are the workouts? I've wondered about it, but have been too nervous to get it!

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SHANNA_SUNSHINE 12/22/2009 2:51PM

  I love that dvd and have told so many people about it. It is a butt kicker! I can see my actual elbows now. They used to be encased in fat and now I have elbows!!!! Next up for me: Knees:)

Great job. You've so got this!!!!

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KOPSBABY 12/22/2009 2:44PM

    Good for you for sticking with it. Those jumpking jacks and jump ropes are a killer. I don't have that dvd but they're still a killer. Stick with it, you'll be glad you did.

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motivation

Thursday, December 17, 2009

so my mother in law says to me, did you lose weight? yes! finally someone noticed! so that was a great feeling and rather motivating.

ok, so i know you're not supposed to buy clothes with the hope of one day fitting into them. and i really try not to. today i went to jcp to buy a pea coat they had on sale. i tried on the xl, it was a bit small with my sweatshirt on. but that is too big on me. so i tried the large. that was almost too small. so i bought the xl. when i got home and tried it on without my sweatshirt it was a bit too big, but comfy. and i know if i continue to lose weight it's going to be too big and by next year i won't be able to wear it. i hope!

so here's my plan. i can't wear it til after christmas cause i bought dh a coat on black friday he's wanted for awhile. if i wear mine he'll either know i got him one or whine that i didn't. lol! so i have a week to get into the large and hopefully return the xl for that size. this will hopefully give me motivation to get through the holidays.

sounds like a doable plan?

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOMFAN 12/21/2009 12:14AM

    I had to buy a new coat for this winter. If it doesn't fit next winter, I will be buying a new one! You go girl, you can do this!

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CHEERFULJANE 12/18/2009 9:36AM

    I think it's a grand plan :)

Go for the large !!! You can do it !!!

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FITKAT2010 12/17/2009 8:53PM

    A new coat is a wonderful motivator, when it is in a smaller size. People noticing your weight loss is also.

But, there has to be more than that.

Make a list of why this is important to you.

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POPSGRYL63X 12/17/2009 8:10PM

    I like your shopping strategy! Happy Holidays!

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