Wednesday, October 21, 2009
thanks to those of you who commented on a my last blog. you gave me a lot to think about. and thinking i have done!
as i've mentioned my goal is to not drink any alcohol until new year's eve. i've been pretty successful so far. the weekends are tough. i'm gonna buckle down this weekend and survive!
what i've been thinking about is what i'm going to do after new year's eve. drinking fits so nicely into my lifestyle. too nicely sometimes. i drink at pretty much every social gathering i attend. every weekend, every thursday(that's just some wierd habit i've picked up over the years) and basically every day in the summer. to say alcohol helped my weight gain is an understatement!
my ideal plan would be to only drink once or twice a month. and by drink i mean one or two drinks and then stop. stopping is my problem now. once i get a buzz i just want to keep going. that's so horrible for many reasons. it affects everything i do. i stay up too late so i don't want to work out in the mornings. i eat more if i'm feeling hungover. i consume hundreds, maybe even thousands, of calories in one night. my only saving grace is my water addiction.
what i really want to do is give up alcohol entirely. but if that were to happen it would take a very long time. people expect me to drink. when they see me not drinking they ask me why. i should try being honest, but i usually make up some excuse. it's just easier. i think maybe if i slowly ween myself away from drinking people won't expect to see me drinking. i gave up alcohol for lent and when i ordered an arnold palmer people didn't even realize it was non-alcoholic. that worked out real well! my biggest problem with going without is that my husband loves seasonal beer. he buys it and wants me to try it with him. he'd totally understand why i didn't drink a whole bottle. but he doesn't always like to drink alone so i feel bad for not drinking any at all. given time, he'll get over that. at family dinners we usually have a cocktail or two before the meal. i'm not sure how long i could avoid that situation. but if that were the only time i drank i would be very satisfied! i believe those situations would be easy. it's the going out with friends that would give me troubles.
when i'm out with people and someone is drinking water or soda i never question it. if i even notice. i assume they are driving, sick, hungover, etc. but when i don't drink i'm always questioned. and rarely do people want to hear, and accept, my excuse. someone suggested doing without those 'friends' which would be doable for the most part if some weren't family. i guess i could avoid people for awhile. it's getting to be winter afterall. maybe after some time and they see how i've changed they will just accept that i'm not drinking for obvious reasons.
what i really need to do is face up to my demons and accept that i'm an adult and don't have to cave to peer pressure. i need to put myself first and tell people that i just don't want to drink. now, can i really do that?
i have made some progress. my drink of choice is captain morgan with diet dr. pepper. it's so yummy! but i gave up soda for my 2009 new year's resolution and i have not had any since i was chugging my last rum and dr. pepper at 11:59:58 on new year's eve. that is quite an accomplishment. i was drinking a liter of soda almost daily before that. and i would go through lots of capt morgan. i could easily drink half a bottle in a night then the rest the next night. and i'd do it again a week or two later. i'm very proud of not only my no soda accomplishment, but also my severe cutback in rum. but i have drank a lot of beer and wine in it's absence.
next year i will really work on revamping my drinking habits.
if there is anyone who is reading this that has given up drinking entirely i would really love to hear your story!
Thursday, October 15, 2009
well last week was interesting. i really got into my no alcohol til new year's eve goal. i was fighting a cold with a bad cough. it hurt to breathe in all the way and i had a coughing fit everytime i tried. difficult to work out when you can't breathe. i don't drink when i'm sick, so that made my goal pretty easy! through all my suffering i lost 4 lbs. yea! i know this is connected to being sick, loss of appetite and no alcohol. but it still felt good to see that low number on my scale! i haven't weighed less than 225 in over a year! this week i'm feeling better, still coughing, but i can almost breathe normally again. i don't plan to see a drop like last week when i step on the scale monday. working out is still not easy and my appetite has been a bit more normal this week. being sick can really help you lose weight. but i think i'd rather workout and eat properly. i may be killing myself with a work out, but it feels a heck of a lot better than death by coughing.
as for my no alcohol goal: i'm still doing well! i'm planning out halloween now. it may prove to be a challenge. this weekend could be a bit trying as well. but i think i'll use my 'getting over a cold' excuse. if any of you have friends who normally drink and suddenly aren't, don't pester them as to why. for some reason the last reason people want to hear is, i'm trying to lose some weight. anything works better: i'm sick, i'm driving, i'm hungover from last night...it's kind of sad. i've given up alcohol for substantial amounts of time before and people never accept the truth. whatever it is. so i make up an excuse and they usually leave me alone. maybe i just have really unsupportive friends?
Friday, October 02, 2009
dark, heavy german beer. sausage. cheese. fast food. hotel room.
yup, that about sums up my weekend! oktoberfest here i come! sounds scary, eh? it is. especially with monday being my weigh in day. that scale will not be my friend! but i'm going to try to not anger it too much. i have packed healthy snacks to help avoid the fast food and sausage. i brought sandwhich stuff so i won't have to worry about meals. and there's a nice safe subway across the highway. the hotel offers a decent breakfast. i should be okay...but i did mention german beer. some of that stuff is like a meal in a cup. good quality beer was afterall a meal back in the day. i'm going to limit myself and drink slowly. i have this thing, probably cause i drink so much water, where i have to constantly be drinking something. so it kind of messes me up at bars cause if i'm already in too deep i don't think about ordering ice tea or water. nope, more beer for me! so if i drink slowly i'll hopefully think of drinking water instead of another beer.
oktoberfest is in a small town in wa state (leavenworth, if you're wondering) and once we get there we park the car and walk. so i'll get a lot of walking in. sadly, some of it is to the candy shop and cheese cellar. which is soooo good! but i'll be strong! plus, we just bought a house and we don't have much money to spend there. so that's a bonus!
i will not let this weekend ruin me. i will have fun and not feel guilty for overindulging. cause i will behave! i will, for once, be in control of what i put into my body. usually i'm like, vacation! lets have some fun! but after my poor september performance i must keep october in check.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
i'm very busy at work this week, but i needed to sneak in some sp time. my day is not going well.
first, i weighed in this morning. down to 229.0 from last week's 232.5(darn tom!) good loss right, not when the week before last i was at 227! ugh. my goal was to be at 220 by oct 1. guess that isn't going to happen. so i have admitted defeat. which hopefully won't last long. new month, new goal. guess it will probably be the same goal.
second, i forgot my lunch! so now my options are crappy fast food or cinamon rolls left over from yesterday. neither sound appealing, but it will most likely be the latter since i don't drive to work and would have to catch a ride somewhere with someone.
then, i actually remembered to replenish my stock of tea at work this morning. i was completely out and have been forgetting for weeks. i was very proud of myself for remembering. but i packed them in my lunch bag. so i don't have that either.
well, it's almost 8 am, maybe things will go better for me now.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
i know i'm not alone in this. everyone has trouble with weekends. you tend to be a bit more lazy, or sometimes real busy, so you just don't have time to workout. you're eating poorly or drinking too much. the list goes on and on for why the weekends are dangerous! you all know what i'm talking about.
summer is over and i'm going to start using my weekends to benefit me. i drink a lot on the weekends and in the summer. there's just something about sitting outside and enjoying a nice cold beverage. sometimes i tend to be too relaxed in the mornings. enjoying a nice quiet saturday morning in the sun. or i'm way too busy and have to be somewhere by 8 am. often i drank too much the night before and working up a sweat does not sound fun!
you see, i just need to turn my weekends around! starting now! this weekend i'm going to oktoberfest. which means lots of beer and german food. also staying in a hotel. i'm going to eat healthy when i can and get as much walking around in as possible. which shouldn't be difficult since we don't drive the car once we get to the hotel. i'm not going to drink a lot of beer. most people go there to get real drunk. i like to people watch, so not drinking a lot won't be difficult.
the weekend after that i'm going camping. more than likely. now camping is tricky. you tend to snack more than you would at home. so i'm going to have to bring healthy snacks. lots of veggies! plus the drinking. going camping this time of year is different than a time like august. it's colder so you don't stay up as late. plus drinking cold beer all night when it's cold out isn't a lot of fun. but i will be eating and drinking more than i should. if the weather is decent i'll be doing some hiking. that will be good.
after that weekend i do not have any foreseeable dangerous plans. that said, my goal is to go from oct 13 to december 31 with no alcohol of any form. i'm not going to fool myself and think i can make it through new year's eve sober. heh. then my birthday is in january, and that's just not going to happen. i'm going to focus on december 31 for now.
i'm not an alcoholic or anything. i just like to drink. and once i start, i don't totally like to stop at 1 or 2. not much fun in that! alcohol is a big reason why i've gained so much weight in the last 5 or so years. it is something i need to work on. we'll see what the result is! it may just motivate me to find a new hobby. lol!
the worst part of the weekend, which should actually be a motivator, is that my weigh in days are mondays.
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