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april goals

Thursday, March 31, 2011

i wasn't going to do april goals since i've been slacking so much lately. coming to the realization yesterday that i have, finally, lost 10 lbs made me realize that i need to make goals and be more alert to how i'm acting and what i'm doing. so i have made the same tired goal i make every month, day, week, etc. work out! i obviously need help in this department. it's also really the only thing i have no valid excuses to not do. i use the weather excuse, but i've got tons of in-home exercise stuff at my disposal. i use time, but i've got plenty of time. i could probably easily work out 5 hrs a day. not continuous on all days, but some. yes, i have a sad life. though i could make it less sad.

seriously, here is a work day for me:
4:00-alarm goes off so i can get up to work out. i push snooze til 5:30. shower, breakfast, net time. leave for work at 7:15-ish.
7:45-5:00: work.
5:30-ish: home from work. clean kitchen, vacuum, laundry, etc. start dinner.
6-ish: eat dinner
6-ish-10ish: eat dinner, clean kitchen, watch tv/movie, read, etc. bed time.
yup, there is easily 2 hrs in there i could squeeze in a workout.

but this is nothing compared to the weekend:
6:30- getting out of bed. i am always up by 6:30 on the weekends. it's a curse from doing it my entire life. doesn't matter what time i go to bed. even if it's 4 am.
now, the remainder of my day depends on what i have planned. if i'm grocery shopping i will be at the store by 8. if i'm meeting people for something it's usually around 10. if i have nothing planned i clean. so my mornings are sometimes active. but most weekends, especially in the winter, i sit on the couch and watch tv all day. in the spring/summer i'll be outside working in the yard or sitting on the back deck.
if i have plans at night i usually don't do anything til around 8. i start dinner around 6.
so why the heck am i not spending a couple hours a day working out on the weekends?! what the heck is wrong with me?! maybe i feel it's cutting into my tv time. i must change things.

there are a lot of 100 day challenges going on right now. i've decided to partake. i'm going to start tomorrow and i will have a full plan at that time. right now i'm leaning towards 100 days of working out. again, it's what i can afford to do and i've got plenty of time to do it. i really want to do a clean eating thing, but money is very tight so food is not the greatest, but it could be worse! i'm basically just not getting enough food. today for instance: breakfast was an egg sandwich on a whole wheat english muffin with a glass of ff milk. lunch will be leftover spaghetti and i have a low-fat string cheese for snack. then dinner is more leftover spaghetti with homemade bread. and milk. see, not a lot of food there. i will be hungry and if i'm lucky i won't eat the ice cream in the work freezer and no one will bring any wonderful snacks in to temp me. like donuts. cause i'm gonna be too hungry to use the amount of willpower it will take to say no. i do wish i worked somewhere where everyone's idea of bringing in a treat was fruit or something else healthy. right now i am out of fruits and veggies and have no other snack foods at home. my fridge is "stocked" with eggs, cheese, half-gallon of milk pickles and lunch meat. can't wait til i get paid on wednesday.

so, i'm guessing a 100 day challenge of working out will be the best bet for me.

i'm really hoping my hours will be given back to me at work in the next week or 2. hopefully today. that would be another $100 on a paycheck and i could really, really use that money. i've been struggling since november. i can't do it anymore.

sorry this got so long winded. i really only came on here to post my goal for the month. thanks for reading! i'm going to review my march goals and see if i accomplished anything. i'll report back tomorrow with my 100 day challenge and a plan to support it.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NICOLEN1030420 4/6/2011 10:36AM

    i love tv more than anyone i know but i work out in front of it. sit ups, weights, i have a bike for watching tv(i dont use enough!) or even put on leslies walking on in the other room get the tempo and then walk in my room!

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MIQUEY73 4/1/2011 9:20AM

    {{HUGS}} to you! I hope they increase your hours. Glad you're still here and setting goals. That means you haven't given up. emoticon

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FIERYSPARKED 4/1/2011 7:27AM

    At least you see the problem. Do you have a PVR so you can record TV shows you want to watch?

I find it really helps cut down my TV time as you can fast forward through the commercials. I went 2 years without any TV and I still didn't exercise as much as I do now. You just have to make time and make it a committment.

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DONNA_VT 3/31/2011 4:26PM

    Maybe the 100 days challenge will work. I hope so. Glad you haven't totally given up . . . . the fact that you are still here and still making goals says something . . . .you want to be healthy . . . .good for you!

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KIBAISREADY 3/31/2011 1:07PM

    You can do it... emoticon emoticon

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BANKER-CHUCK 3/31/2011 12:10PM

    I wrote a Blog a couple of months ago that was more "self-talk" and realizations about me with my view on exercise and eating healthy. Sounds like you know the reason for yourself but I have found reviewing my own Blog helps keep me on track. I almost use it as an axiom.


Keep up the positive self-talk.

Comment edited on: 3/31/2011 12:13:17 PM

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AMTRISH 3/31/2011 11:33AM

    good luck...i work out most mornings at 4:30am so i know what you speak about when you say you can hit the alarm clock...one thing that really helped when i first started out was to get my gym clothes and my bags (i shower at the gym) ready in the morning so litterly i just had them by the bed to jump into...i left nothing to think about or to prepare in the morning...bags by the door (or in my truck if it wasn't too hot or too cold)... and didn't allow myself to hit the snoooze...its been about 5 years and still wanna hit the snooze bur rarely do...not all work outs are outstanding but more often than not they are great...again...good luck and I know you will do it!! emoticon

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Wow! i am out of shape and it's NOT a good thing!

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

this morning before work i was standing out back with a co-worker while she smoked. we were talking and i kept saying what's that noise, do you hear that? it was this weird smacking noise. after a minute or two it got louder and faster. suddenly the other weird noise with it got louder and it was a kid screaming! a kid was being beaten on the other side of the fence! neither of us had a phone, go figure, so i ran back inside, out the front door across the parking lot and down the sidewalk to that block. we had no idea what the street was called so i had to find out to call 911. i called them and was so out of breath i was having trouble talking and trying to slow my breathing at the same time.
i'm not sure if i was of any help for this kid. i don't have the exact address or know which house it was coming from. it's a bad neighborhood. i could only give 911 the street. there's an alley behind our office and a privacy fence seperating it from the backyards of that neighborhood. we hear weird things all the time, but never this upsetting.
anyway, it took forever for my heart rate to slowdown and i still feel shaky. though i think that may be more cause of how upset i was. i tummy still feels icky, i have some major nerves going on.
i have always wondered while watching movies and tv shows, what if? what if i had to run? what if it was life and death, mine or someone else's, and i had to run, but couldn't? now i kind of know and it's not a good feeling. i've let myself become so out of shape and unhealthy it could easily hurt me and someone else. i mean, i ran a good distance, but by the time i got there, i was out of sorts. i was shaky, out of breathe, my eyes were watering, etc. i realize this was part due to being out of shape and being freaked out, but still. i could have reacted better.

i'm going to learn from this.

i feel awful.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SHIRLEYX 3/28/2011 8:47PM

    I hear you. I am also out of shape. However we can do something about it. Today I exercised for 30 minutes. The first day of a 100 day challenge to do a minimum of 30 minutes exercise every day.
We can do it!

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MELISSA8376 3/23/2011 1:30PM

    We do need more people in the world that will stand up for those who aren't brave or old enough to stand up for them selves. I work in a restaurant and there was a man verbally abusing his child loudly and in public and a few different tables complained to the manager which he could do nothing about, so a few called the police and they took him outside and talked to him. The mother never said anything to the father either.
I also agree that you were probably over exerting and would pace yourself normally.

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CURVYDIVA86 3/22/2011 2:30PM

    Wow, that must have been so scary. No wonder you're shaken up! You did the best you could, and I hope the police showed up and did something to help that poor kid. emoticon

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KOMONDOR 3/22/2011 1:34PM

    I know you're focusing on the not fast enough part, but I'm focusing on the part where the world needs more people like you--the ones who take care of kids even when it's hard and supposedly none of their business.

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ALISHAB3 3/22/2011 12:47PM

    I completely understand how you feel. I was the kid in high school who failed PE because she couldn't run a mile in less than 12 minutes. I can do that now and its one of the motivating factors for me to get up and train, I don't ever want to be a failure again.

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JESS0107 3/22/2011 12:25PM

    You shouldn't feel awful! You did the best you can do and who knows, you might have helped that child more than you know. That should never happen.

There was a kid down my street who was being abused and cussed out. My husband called 911 and they wouldn't do nothing and they told him to call defax. My husband did and they did nothing. Children should never be abused and you did the right thing.

I completely understand about the running issue. I always wondered about that myself but I think that if the situation comes across, we will be able to do what is necessary to help others.

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BANKER-CHUCK 3/22/2011 12:06PM

    You have me wondering if the police ever showed. I think you were exerting more energy than you would on a normal run with all the excitement. On a run you would pace yourself differently.
As for the smacking around it was different when I was a kid. My sweet mom did not spare the switch, hand or belt when she thought is was needed. The switch stung, the belt stung, and the spanking with the hand stung. But the humiliation was worse and know I made her angry with breaking the rules. I guess these days it would be considered child abuse but back then it was called correction. Even the schools were in on the act with the paddle-board.

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spring recharge

Monday, March 21, 2011

i realized yesterday that it was the first day of spring and i was falling seriously behind on my goals for the year. the biggest one being that i'm trying to lose 100 lbs this year. by the end of this month i need to have lost 25 lbs. um yeah, i'm way off track!
i made a list of goals to help refresh where i want to be a year (or less) from now. i thought about the goals i had made last year and what i need to do get them accomplished. i feel better this morning and i feel like their is hope. i can do this! i just need to get out of my winter rut and focus.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOMFAN 3/23/2011 4:28PM

    Cheering for you!

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FIERYSPARKED 3/21/2011 2:24PM

    There is no way I could lose 100 lbs in a year. I'm hoping for 60 lbs lost. I lose about 5 lbs a month.

You should post a blog with your goals!

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BANKER-CHUCK 3/21/2011 12:40PM

    Don't worry about missing the planned goal. It is only a plan and plans are only a guideline that can be refined or changes along the way.

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DONNA_VT 3/21/2011 10:39AM

    Spring is a great time to refresh your goals. Good Luck!

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SUPER3800 3/21/2011 8:14AM

  YES!...Spring gives everyone hope. YOU can do this, just put your mind to it.

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march: a new season and a new me

Monday, February 28, 2011

thank goodness it's the last day of february. february 2010 was awful, so i had high hopes for february 2011. i was gonna be prepared to not let the winter blahs get me down, i was gonna workout, focus on eating. i was gonna make a change! it all started out well. til i hurt my knee. downhill slide! i couldn't finish the 30 day shred. i couldn't find a workout that i felt was a proper workout that didn't bother my knee. so i gave up. which i'm pretty mad at myself about.

i'd like to regain my focus and get back on track in march. i'm going to find a workout that doesn't bother my knee and makes me feel like i've accomplished sonething. it's not %100 yet, but it's definitely feeling better. probably still not able to do squats which saddens me as i love squats!

my main focus for march is to eat better and track what i eat. i'm still really bad about tracking. especially if i eat something bad.

i know if i can get eating and working out both into a nice routine i'll be unstoppable. but first i need to get a steady ball rolling on one. i can do this, i will do this!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GARVCO 3/1/2011 3:24PM

    You can do it! I have gotten so much better with my tracking and I know it is working. I too hate February - I turned 50 this year. But hey - it is now March and why not put up a brick wall between Feb and March - no peaking back at what went wrong and simply set out anew! Anytime you need some support - drop me a line or visit my page. We all need support!


Comment edited on: 3/1/2011 3:25:04 PM

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MOMFAN 3/1/2011 1:48AM

    emoticon emoticon

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JESS0107 2/28/2011 3:20PM

    You can and you will do it!

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COACHKRYSTIE 2/28/2011 2:54PM

    Cheering you on!!!! Here's to a great MARCH!! emoticon

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DONNA_VT 2/28/2011 12:57PM

    Glad to hear that your knee is getting better. . . .good luck for a better March!

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falling apart, losing motivation

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Iím beginning to feel unmotivated. Iím not surprised, it is February after all. I have been doing pretty well this year, which I have to remind myself of everyday. Look what youíve accomplished! Still the past week or so Iíve felt unmotivated.
Iíve been doing the 30 day shred all month and Iíve been very proud of myself with that. But my knee has been bothering me. I woke up Saturday morning and it was so swollen and sore I could barely move it. So I decided to work out to see if that would help. It didnít. I was on day 11 of 30ds and day 1 of level 2. I did the workout but I couldnít fully do the lunges, squats, etc. So I decided to postpone the 30 ds and focus on some lower intensity stuff. I did that Sunday and it was much easier. I also iced my knee throughout the weekend. It does feel better now, but still some pain when I move it too much or not enough. Iíve taken today and Monday off from working out just so I donít hurt it further or cause lasting issues.

But let me tell you, giving up on the 30 ds has really gotten to me! I feel like a failure! I know the only reason Iím not doing it is because of my knee, but itís been difficult to accept that.

Iím totally broke and wasnít able to get all the food I needed to have proper snacks on hand so Iíve been eating pretty poorly the last week or so. I feel like Iím losing control of everything.

Combine that with my usual winter blahs that come around every February and you have me feeling pretty darn bummed. I just want to curl up on the couch and go to bed at 7 every night.

I hate feeling like this. I know where it leads. It leads to what 2010 became when I let these feelings get the best of me and they just kept getting worse and I kept gaining weight til I hit my highest weight ever. Iím so scared of failing right now. I had great expectations for this year and right now I feel as though they are completely unattainable.

Tonight Iím going to go through the journal I was keeping at the beginning of last year and through some of the blogs Iíve posted here (reading all your great comments always helps!) to try and get some frame of mind about where I was 2 months ago, last year, even last week. I do not want to fail again! I canít!

I just need to get out of this funk.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SHAN2SHAGG 2/18/2011 2:27AM

    I just bought some new shoes. that helps. I still have not used them yet, but I want to buy a workout outfit next. next time I make my goal, so I need to write down my goal and do it!!! you can do it too! I am right there with you! shan

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NEELIXNKES 2/16/2011 7:00PM

    You are worth the effort. Even if you are sore and having issues there are only things that you can do to keep on track such as making sure you get enough water and freggies. Hang in there and keep pushing forward. emoticon

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JANE1216 2/16/2011 5:47PM

    Keep your focus -- you can do this -- I was so glad to read that you were going back to your journal -- that's an excellent idea! I hope you will see your successes and realize that this difficult time will pass and that you will once again be on the right road.

I'm sending you some sunshine -- I know what you mean about the winter blahs -- hope this helps you too!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

and one more thought to share:

(this is one of my all time fav quotes)

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COACHKRYSTIE 2/16/2011 3:19PM

    Don't quit!! I'm here for you emoticon

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RONIE11 2/16/2011 1:03PM

    I'm just now getting the spark to work out everyday... I took a few months off a "Routine" exercise.. I thought all the other fun stuff I was doing was going to be enough and its not.. that was a let down for me... I feel so much better now that I'm working out and tracking my food... remember this..... track it even if its taking you over your calories... keep your body moving even if its not your prefered routine... this way it won't be so hard on you when you do get back to what you want to do.... I would say it took me 4 weeks just to get moving again.. and that was with "everyday" pep talks... please learn from my mistake.. at least thats the way it worked for me... I wish you all the best....Ronie

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JASI27 2/16/2011 8:32AM

    I am having a bit of a funk right now too, and it is the winter blahs as well! I started taking a vitamin D3 supplement and it has helped a lot, but not enough! Don't be so hard on yourself over the 30day shred! It will be waiting for you when your knee heels! This journey is about nourishing your body, and if your knee needs a break, work on upper body, weight lift, you can even use stuff around your house and don't need to purchase equipment! My biggest motivation is Biggest Loser! I find that when I watch it I can't just sit there and watch, I have to work out and it is awesome! I have also been reading some motivational books that have really helped me get through this winter and writing in my journal a lot! Die Fat or Get Tough by Steve Siebold is a fabulous book that helps you change your way of thinking and it is available on kindle! I downloaded the pc kindle version and have it on my mini laptop and my desktop.....u don't even need the kindle to enjoy kindle books! So cool! The other book that has REALLY helped me is 100 ways to motivate yourself by Steve Chandler, also available on Kindle!! You can't go wrong with either one of these books and they really help pep you up. One of the other ones I am reading is Jillian Michaels, Master your Metabolism! It is kinda scary to see what we have done to our bodies over the years and it is empowering to have the information to fix it!~also available on Kindle! Most importantly lean on your sparkfriends and support system you have at home! I know I haven't been very good about this one and my sparkfriends have let me know about it!
I offered one of my spark buddies a challenge to keep us motivated through the end of the month.............we are going to see who can stay at the low end of their calories the rest of the month........simple, but motivating! Friendly competition is fabulous!
I really hope you can dig deep and get yourself out of this rut! Fight it girl~You ARE worth it!! REFUSE to let this defeat you!! Get pissed and fight it!! That is what I decided to do a couple days ago and it is working! Get creative, so yourself you can do this no matter what! Your knee wants to be stubborn, so work on upper body! Do you have a stability ball?? I wonder if that would be easier on your knee..........I know you burn tons of calories just bouncing on that stupid ball!! LOL so when I am really down and out and don't feel like doing anything, I start bouncing and then find I feel like doing more! YOU CAN DO THIS!!! DON'T QUIT!!! FIGHT IT!!!! KICK ITS ASS!!! You've got this girl!!!

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LOUANN22 2/16/2011 3:57AM

    You can do it! Just focus on the accomplishments you've made. it is very easy to slack off when you have to stop exercising to recope from any injury and I know exactly where your at on being broke and can't afford healthy snacks. I'm there myself. rereading all your journal and blog entries are a great idea ton get motivation back and remind you of your goals emoticon

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NADINEL 2/16/2011 1:00AM

    Hi! emoticon. Never give up, never surrender. Stay in here, even if its in a holding pattern until your leg gets healed. emoticon

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CXNLITTLE 2/16/2011 12:40AM

    Hang in there, you can always start the 30 days over when your knee is fully recovered!

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DAISY238 2/15/2011 10:00PM

    Hang in there. emoticon

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BARBARAROSE54 2/15/2011 9:58PM


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    emoticon The important thing is to never give up.

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WVROSE1 2/15/2011 9:29PM

    Hang in there emoticon

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SASSYTHING52 2/15/2011 9:01PM

    dontgive up its hard for us thats struggling but we can do it and then we will feel so good about ourselves emoticon

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BLESSEDGIGI 2/15/2011 9:00PM

    The most important thing is to take care of yourself. Do whatever you can do to exercise. But don't beat yourself up if you can't do it all. Most of us have health problems that prevent us from doing all we want to. Just focus on what you can do and forget the rest. Eat healthy and drink your water. Even on a limited income there are things you can eat (I know from experience). I know you won't quit, you can do it! Hang in there with us.

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MOMFAN 2/15/2011 8:17PM

    You are right to focus on what you have accomplished and what you can do! Remember this is just a bump in the road of your way to a healthy life! You are a champion! You will do this!

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HOPE2011 2/15/2011 7:11PM

    Don't give up - you can do it! Allow yourself the time to recover and regroup - it doesn't mean you've failed! The exercise is taking care of your body, yes, but now you are taking care of your body in a different way - just as, if not more necessary. And that is admirable and smart!

We're here for you, fellow Ruby Lite! emoticon

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HICALGAL 2/15/2011 6:04PM

    sis, i know just where you're coming from. in everything we have choices. make the best one with your current situation and feel good about it. it's a string of many days and many accomplishments that will get u to ur goal. dont' give up or give in...it's really a head game we play with ourselves.

if u have nothing better to do...here's a link to my blog. i think u might relate to it. sending love and bunches of hugs!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon


Comment edited on: 2/15/2011 6:05:22 PM

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KAROUSELL46 2/15/2011 5:52PM

    This time of year is bad for me also. I have SAD and can't wait for spring. I have bad knees which stops me at times from exercising. I take a break and regroup and go forward. I'm on a limited income and have trouble getting the right snacks. Together I know we can get through this. I am right where you are...Karen emoticon emoticon emoticon

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YAFENELRA 2/15/2011 5:43PM

    Whatever you do, don't give up. I am older and have bad knees so I don't do very much in the way of exercise. But I do watch what I eat and as a result, I lose the pounds. Don't rely on just one of the tricks to get where you want to get. You will get there. I just know it.

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PIXIE-LICIOUS 2/15/2011 5:43PM

    I know you won't quit! I think we all get into a funk like this from time to time...especially at this time of year. Hang on, Spring is coming! Just keep trying every day, do your best...I know you can do it and I'm here if you need support.

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LITTLE_QUEEN 2/15/2011 5:35PM

    emoticon Have faith in yourself, It is hard with this "blah" weather, Spring will be here soon, and I myself can't wait.

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WKLYTTON 2/15/2011 4:45PM

    Don't give up! Regroup and refocus! You are so worth it and YOU CAN DO IT !!

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DONNA_VT 2/15/2011 4:37PM

    I tried the 30 day Shred with my daughter when she was home at Christmas and She said that the lunges are too much for people with bad knees . Her orthopedic surgeon also told her not to do lunges. Find something else to do when they are doing the lunges. If the rest of it wasn't bothering you . . . .you could try that. Common now . . . I know you can do this.

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RD03875 2/15/2011 4:36PM

    Hang in there. The same thing happened to me a few months ago. I blew out my knee doing resistance band exercises but I refused to give up and then spent almost 2 months unable to do intense lower body exercises. TAke care of yourself and get well. You can still do upper body and core.

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WHGRN60 2/15/2011 4:31PM

    Don't give up! You may need to change your plan for awhile, but don't give up.

If you need to do lower intensity exercises to let your knee heal, then do it. DO NOT mess with your knees!!! If it is still bothering you in a few more days, see a doctor. Again, DO NOT mess with your knees!

Try to get outside if you can (don't know what your weather is like there) and get at least a little bit of sunlight. It makes a difference when you've got the winter blahs.

Eat as best you can with what you have on hand or can afford, but don't use that as an excuse to "blow it". Remember, garbage in, garbage out!

Hope you're feeling better soon.


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BETHHRSN 2/15/2011 4:22PM

  try to hang on...you know what kind of a MAJOR funk you will be in if you totally give it up...and then when you do decide to start over (sigh) you'll be like me relosing the same lbs you lost twice last year!! Just give your knee a few days to get well so it doesn't become a real problem. I can't do lunges too well myself so I just sorta lunge - but believe it or not I think that's making my knees stronger

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