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what was i thinking?!

Friday, February 04, 2011

i just ate fast food. jack in the box to be more specific. i haven't had fast food in over a year (go me!) omg! i'm starving at work and boss lady is being a crazy psycho today driving us all insane. my co-workers say they're leaving for lunch to get away from the crazy and do i want to go with? sure, i say! then i grab a granola bar to hush my tummy for a bit. i go into jack in the box with them and i order! then i eat! wth?!
it was good. i hadn't had their curly fries before so that was a nice change. i got a lemonade instead of soda (go me!). i told myself i've been doing great, i succeeded in my year of no fast food, i deserve a reward. ugh, that was not a reward! less than 30 minutes after eating my tummy was angry. it was cramping and making funny noises. then my head started to feel like my brain wanted to explode out of my skull. my eyes were heavy, i felt light-headed. my arms feel like they weigh a ton. i'm writing stuff at work and i can barely lift the pen between words. i just want to curl up and take a nap.

ugh, never again!

i'm not going to beat myself up over this. i've been really good about being nice to myself. i won't blame any weight i may gain this week (which i sure hope doesn't happen) on this, i have the superbowl to thank for that! i'm going to keep on doing what i've been doing and i'm going to make my no fast food streak last longer than a year and a wee bit over a month. live & learn. ugh, i never want to feel this awful again!
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SPLASHDOG1 2/7/2011 6:38PM

    A year without fastfood! That's quite an accomplishment! I wouldn't worry too much about a once in a great while thing....not that the aftermath was fun! (curly fries would tempt me too though!)

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MOMFAN 2/5/2011 10:23PM

    emoticon

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SHAN2SHAGG 2/5/2011 8:47PM

    it is the experience that we remember best!!! I am sure you will remember easier next time!! Shan emoticondrink a ton of water to clean yourself of the fast food toxins!! emoticon

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IMSMILEY88 2/4/2011 8:17PM

    That's impressive! We eat fast food WAY too often... even now. I need to cut back! And, how telling that your belly was making noise afterwards. That food is NOT good for us, is it?

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RUNNER12COM 2/4/2011 6:32PM

    You definitely should feel proud of your success and of your new lifestyle. And if eating at Jack In The Box today helps remind you why you make the choices you do, then good for you!

SDJ

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WINSLOWGIRLS3 2/4/2011 5:53PM

    That is an impressive amount of time to go without fast food!!! You should be proud of yourself! I know exactly how you feel. I ate tacos the other night and felt soooo sick after. I think that is is a very good thing that it makes us feel so bad after eating like that because it just makes you realize that we are making right choices with eating healthy! I hope that you feel all better soon!!!

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BERRIMOUSE 2/4/2011 5:03PM

    Watch out for some fat food places, look for ones with healthy fares. Hope you feel better soon..... emoticon

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DONNA_VT 2/4/2011 4:55PM

    Sounds like you learned your lesson . . . we never do McD, Burger Thing or any of those . . . if we want fast food it is Subway.
By the way nice loss this week!

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January recap & february goals

Thursday, January 27, 2011

2011 is all about me finding myself and fixing me. i made some goals in january to help start this off. i did pretty well! i'm currently in week 4 of "the spark" and i feel i've done great with the program. i've implemented a lot of new goals and habits into my life and i'm proud of the results so far. i'm completely back into my water drinking habit. it was touch and go for a few months and i hated it! i'm doing real well with keeping the kitchen clean. you know, loading the dishwasher after every meal, not just dinner. cleaning as i go so there aren't a ton of things to wash when dinner is done. i'm going to keep working on my goals in february and focus on what i'm not doing so great with.
the biggest thing i've been struggling with is working out. i just can't get into a good routine. i push myself too hard and think i need to work out 7 days a week. i beat myself up when i fail and don't workout for a day. in january i've worked on not beating myself up. and i have to say i've done a pretty good job with being nice to myself. so in february my goal will be to work out at least 3 days a week. i know once i get into that rhythm i'll want to work out more often. i used to work out 5 - 6 days a week and i loved it. i know i can get that feeling back. that will be my main focus for february.
my second goal will be to do more chores throughout the week so not everything is waiting for me on saturday and i feel like i don't have enough time to do everything that needs to be done in a weekend. i think it would be awesome to have nothing but laundry and vacuuming to do on a saturday. but i always forget that i intended to clean the bathrooms or dust after work on tuesday. so i'll write a list of all the chores i do and break them up so i'm doing one or two every evening.

those seem like pretty good goals, and they seem fairly simple. one of my overall goals of 2011 is to not get burnt out. i don't want to push myself to be wonder woman overnight. though I do expect to be her by this time in 2012!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WORKINGITIN 1/29/2011 8:32PM

    Housework. No one notices it, unless it is not done. You may want to try looking at Flylady.net, it has helped me alot with housework. She has routines which leave you open to enjoy the weekend. If you join the website group, she send you emails to remind you what to do - not just housework but take your vitamins, drink your water, clean your kitchen before going to bed and move it.

Found it interesting but sometimes got so many emails. She also sends inspirational messages and one I found to be quite helpful - cleaning the yucking toilet lets your family know you love them.

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Comment edited on: 1/29/2011 8:33:09 PM

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MOMFAN 1/29/2011 12:32AM

    Great goals, congrats on making progress along the journey to a new life! You can do this! Are you coming to dinner at Perkins?

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CXNLITTLE 1/27/2011 5:49PM

    Sounds like a good plan! You can do it!

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W8WHITTILER 1/27/2011 5:06PM

    Sounds like you have it all worked out!
February goals are things I need to work on, the cleaning the house bit, I have been trying to do 15 minutes of housework every night..like cleaning bathrooms, dusting, scrubbing the cabinets, sweeping the porches, anything that I can get done in 15 minutes..I set the timer on the stove and have at it, when the buzzer goes off, I am done!

Just keep doing what you are, and you will make it, in all areas you have goals set for!


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FIERYSPARKED 1/27/2011 3:13PM

    Your goals sound like mine! I'm also trying to do small spurts of housework so I'm not bogged down so much on Saturday morning!

Keep if up! You're doing great!

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BANKER-CHUCK 1/27/2011 12:27PM

    I like your Feb. goals because like you said, "work out at least 3 days a week. i know once i get into that rhythm i'll want to work out more often." One thing you do not want to do is burn yourself out on exercise. On your 3 days of working-out make them intense and concentrate on burning just a few calories more. After one year with Spark on my fitness program I still do not want to go to the gym. But I have made it a habit so I go. Once I am at the gym my workouts are intense and generally can burn 1200 to 1500 calories. I do a lot of 5K runs on the treadmill that burns a lot of calories. If I miss a day I have learned not to feel guilty. If I want a day off I take it and use it to regenerate.
You have a great plan. Good luck to you.

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frack! is it february yet?! *a surprisingly positive blog*

Friday, January 21, 2011

ah, 2011, so far you've been my friend! when i compare myself to the person i was in january of 2010 to the person i am now, it's like a completely different person! i had so many goals, and desires back in '10. i had too many! i lost focus, one bad thing happened and i lost sight of everything and by the middle of february i was back where i was before i started the year with all my high hopes. took a year, but apparently i learned my lesson! it was a tough year and i'm glad it's behind me.

the biggest thing i learned is that january will always kick my butt. so this year i'm prepared! with the holidays messing up the last couple of months of the year for us all, we all plan to make big changes in january. i realized last year this doesn't work for me. i have 4 birthdays within 2 weeks of each other to celebrate, one being my own, so i'm doomed! parties, cake, beer, dinners, etc! last year the anxiety of trying to survive them all killed me. mix that with toxic friends, SAD, wanting spring to be here NOW and still being broke from the holidays, i just lost all the motivation i started the new year out with.

in my preperation to make 2011 awesome i made myself aware that january was going to suck, so i needed to practice and make plans for the year ahead, rather than being 100% spot on everyday in january. i re-re-re-started "the spark" a few days into the new year. it's kept my focus and helped me work on goals and prepare for the year ahead. i feel i'm in control and i'm making slow, but steady progress. i've been tracking almost all my food, counting my fruits and veggies, and working in activity where i can. i still have a lot of work to do, but i'm not beating myself up over my mistakes and bad days. this is something i've never done before. i'm my own worst enemy. time to change that.

i have accomplished a lot this month, i've already lost all my holiday weight, i've been very good about not drinking alcohol, i've avoided junk food and i've made some great new recipes. so far it's been a very good year! i think that will continue on through the next few months til i have to start dealing with the pressures of summer. lol! mostly i drink too much and stay up too late.

the next two weeks are going to be tough! my main goal is to stay focused and not regain any of the weight i've lost. i have a birthday dinner tonight, my sis-in-law/my birthday party tomorrow, my bday dinner tuesday, maybe sil's bday wednesday and then my friend is coming into town to really celebrate my bday next weekend. then it's the superbowl...

i'm looking forward to february cause the craziness will be over, i can't think of a single birthday i have to help celebrate, the superbowl is early enough in the month i can still consider it january and i'll be ready to kick some serious butt and shed some major poundage!

thanks again to everyone who commented on my last blog. i made it through the cravings!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SHIRLEYX 1/23/2011 1:12PM

    emoticon

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MENHALLS 1/22/2011 11:41PM

    I know all about the January blahs. Bring on the spring, but let's greet it lighter and healthier!!

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MOMFAN 1/22/2011 2:48AM

    ♪♫•*¨HAPPY*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸BIRTHDAY TO YOU!.•*¨*•♫♪
♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪
♪♫•*¨*•HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪ ♪♫•¸¸♥ *•♫♪
¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪ ♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪ ♪♫••.¸¸♥ ¨*•♫♪

♫ ✿◕‿◕Ϭ
7; ♫

Make the best choices you can and remember portion sizes! You can do this!

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CXNLITTLE 1/21/2011 11:04PM

    Good job making it thru! You can do it!

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CONTENTANDFIT 1/21/2011 9:56PM

    It's great to look back to look forward.

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DONNA_VT 1/21/2011 2:32PM

    Glad that you made it through the cravings yesterday and that your plan for 2011 is going along nicely. Good luck for the weekend and the week ahead!

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BANKER-CHUCK 1/21/2011 11:54AM

    Sounds like you have a great plan. The only thing I see is you are afraid of the pressures from other people that are helping sabotage how well you stay on track. Personally my friends and family know I am watching very closely what I eat and drink. Therefore when friends and family come to my home they will never find cake, cookies, pizzas etc. Drinks include diet drinks such as Crystal lite, diet pepsi...etc.
I have to be strict on myself as I can get carried away if the temptation is available. I have been at this since 1/1/10 and I am still trying to change some old habits. It is tougher watching my food than when I quit smoking 8 years ago.
Good luck to you this year 2011 and have a happy birthday.

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no junk food + pms = DANGER!!!!!

Thursday, January 20, 2011

so i gave up junk food for my new year's resolution. in my planning for this i thought of pms and the couple days of craving sweet and salty and greasy. i thought, hopefully, that since i wasn't eating junk the cravings would be less. and they are. but jeez, all i can think about is junk food! and there are freaking doughnuts in the breakroom!

i just want some potato chips, ice cream, candy bars, sugar!

will survive this. i have to! i am stronger than this, i just need this dull, quiet day of work to be over so i can concentrate on something else. like how to avoid the bag of potato chips in the pantry! ugh, dh usually devours a bag in a couple days, this one has been there for weeks!

i can do this
i can do this
i can do this

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOMFAN 1/22/2011 2:51AM

    Yes you can!

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CXNLITTLE 1/21/2011 11:05PM

    emoticon

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LOSE2WIN10 1/21/2011 2:13PM

    Don't give up! Lol. Yesterday I was craving a candy bar.. I was gonna get one at the gas station but only had my checkbook so I almost filled up my tank (only needed like 3 gallons) just to justify writing a check for a candy bar!!!! Ridiculous I know! ahhh I hate PMS :)

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MAGA99 1/21/2011 12:27PM

    emoticon

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EVRLNGFOO 1/21/2011 10:52AM

    thanks, everyone! i survived yesterday! took some gum, croutons, lots of water and tea. i ate 1 leftover christmas cookie (homemade) when i got home last night and was waiting for dinner. I shut the kitchen light off after dinner and read. i survived!!! woo hoo! just have to get through a birthday dinner tonight, a birthday party tomorrow, dh treating me to breakfast tomorrow and then my birthday on tuesday. i just stressed myself out...

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COACHKRYSTIE 1/21/2011 8:08AM

    Be strong!!!! YOU CAN DO THIS

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LOZINJST4ME 1/21/2011 6:55AM

    emoticon

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ZOIEY24 1/21/2011 1:24AM

    emoticon

You're doing great - keep it up!

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NEED2LOSEN2010 1/21/2011 12:57AM

    Hang in there!! emoticon

Sunny

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LUCKY_PENNY 1/20/2011 7:02PM

    Ugh, I've SO been there. I haaaaate PMS cravings. Ever notice nobody craves carrot sticks? emoticon

I'm more gentle with myself during those times. I've given up sugar and white flour, but sugar-free pudding comes in LOTS of tasty flavors. Even yogurt is dessert-flavored these days for only about 100 calories. As for salty & fatty, I do indulge in triscuits and cheese probably once a month. I add hot sauce, but that's me. Oh, and turkey bacon! Yum!

You're right, you CAN do this!!

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TBID227 1/20/2011 6:00PM

    You can do it. And also, try fruit to help with the sweet cravings. Sometimes it helps to pretend. I know this may not be all that helpful (I will be where you are in a few days so we will see how much will power I have), but think of how you will feel when you can say I DID IT!!! No junk food!

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DONNA_VT 1/20/2011 5:30PM

    emoticon Look at the motivational picture you posted a few days ago . . . that is who you want to be . . . .no junk food is worth giving up your goals to.

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motivational picture

Saturday, January 15, 2011



This picture of me was taken back in 1999. i was in college and just having fun. i remember the exact moment it was taken: i was in my dormroom talking to my roommate. we had bunk beds and i was standing on the frame hanging onto the top bar kind of doing a pushup type move back and forth and swinging around, just hanging out. someone called me from down the hall so i swung out the doorway, saw a camera and smiled. it was so spur of the moment and i just reacted naturally and quickly, so thankfully i didn't have a shocked or 'huh?' look on my face.

i saw this pic today as i was looking for a new facebook profile picture (which this now is) and paused on this picture and thought 'i want to be that girl again'. when i was 18, right about the time of high school graduation, i finally found some confidence in me and my appearance. i was running regularly and finally stopped thinking of myself as fat. i mean, i wasn't at the weight that i wanted to be (10-20 lbs, maybe from my 140 dream goal, but definitely in a healthy range), but i had muscle definition, nice legs and a flat belly (not flat enough, of course!). i was fun! i had fun! without alcohol, most of the time. my whole life was in front of me, the possibilities endless. i wish i had kept this positive feeling and confidence. i gained weight, i quit running, i lost focus on my future. i became very self conscious. i became very unhappy. having fun needed more alcohol. i needed alcohol to have fun, not be shy and gain a bit of confidence in front of people.

i'm not sure when this happened. i suppose sometime in my early 20's, but i think it was a gradual process, just like the weight gain. there wasn't one moment that changed me, there were many. and they just kept piling up and growing. then i lost control, and now i'm here. unhappy, overweight with no confidence.

well that's changing! i'm going to gain confidence! i'm going to be happy! without alcohol! and i'm going to regain that twinkle in my eye and that easy, carefree, natural smile. i'm going to find my dimples and that definition in my cheek bones. i'm going to find myself! and i'm going to be proud of myself.

i have this pic around here somewhere. i'm going to post it somewhere i will see it everyday. maybe make some copies so i can see it in other places i may need motivation (on the fridge) and i'm going to find that person and be that person again.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RORYLYONS 1/24/2011 7:21PM

    I love your passion & know you will be a success story.. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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DWAN1969 1/17/2011 8:04PM

    You can do it! Those kind of pics can motivate us to achieve our goals...just don't live in the past though...you can make yourself a better version of who you were then... :)

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COACHKRYSTIE 1/17/2011 1:51PM

    u can do it!!!! emoticon

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W8WHITTILER 1/17/2011 8:21AM

    That picture is a great motivator!
If that is what you want, hang it on your fridge, and seeing that beautiful smile everyday will keep you pushing forward to make ALL your dreams come true!
You can do this, just let go and be you, just like in that picture.


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FIERYSPARKED 1/17/2011 7:17AM

    I think we're all looking for that girl inside us somewhere. Just keeep going and you will get there!

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AKAFIT 1/16/2011 10:24AM

    Way to find the moment that you were truly happy and FOCUSING on that! That's a beginning to your wonderul journey to a better YOU!


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MOMFAN 1/16/2011 2:45AM

    Make it into a poster! You can do this! You don't need alcohol! Get "high" on a healthy life! Cheering for you!

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CXNLITTLE 1/15/2011 9:00PM

    Great picture! You can do it!

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VAMACKGIRL 1/15/2011 6:16PM

    I just did the SAME THING yesterday and I too, MISS THAT GIRL!!!
We can do this!!!! Have a GREAT weekend!!!
Janet
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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DONNA_VT 1/15/2011 5:19PM

    I love the pic! YOU CAN DO IT!

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