EVRLNGFOO   33,460
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wake up call

Saturday, December 04, 2010

i have no clothes that fit. i have clothes that will fit me when i get smaller, but for now i have a very limited wardrobe. i refuse to buy big clothes and it tears me up when i try on a 3x and it still doesn't fit. this morning i had to buy a pair of jeans. i bought a pair about a month ago and was hoping to get into a smaller size. no such luck, so i just grabbed the size i needed off the shelf. i put them on this evening and omg! they don't fit! they are too small. i mean, i can zip and button, but they are tight. i realize my older pairs and just "adjusted" to fit me. i soooooo do not want to have to buy the next size up next time i need new jeans. this is so motivating to get my butt moving and workout! '

my goal was to work out today, that hasn't happened. and won't. i've been so busy and i slept in later than i intended. i've been running around all day and now have to go to a birthday party. so i'm hoping tomorrow will be a good workout day for me. i'm the dd tonight, so no idea what time i'll be home and in bed tonight. but i do want to be able to get up and workout tomorrow. i obviously need it!

i hate how i look in everything and i just can't keep living the life i'm in and being the person i am. 2011 is all about turning that around and striving to be a better me. i need to start now, today. even though i don't have time to workout today, i can make smart choices at this party. i can stay in control of my decisions. and i will!

and i really need to work on sparking on the weekends. i've been intending to come in here all day and the 15 minutes i have while waiting for friends to show up so we can leave is when i am finally able to sit down and spark.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MENHALLS 12/6/2010 1:46PM

    Deep breaths! Don't stress - just get moving. I can't wait for the day you post about fitting a 2X, then a 1X then a No X!

Let us support you on your journey.

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CHATTYMCPATTI 12/5/2010 10:44PM

    I totally feel your pain! I have stretched out my clothes so when I lose a little it seems as though I am ready to go down a size and then I try that size on only to find out that there is no way! It is very discouraging! Keep your chin up and keep working and it will get better!

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W8WHITTILER 12/5/2010 7:34PM

    Hang in there!
This is a tough journey, you are going to have to make a commitment though to getting things started once and for all..that is the only way we are going to do this..we have to commit to ourselves, pencil time in for ourselves..afterall we are just as important as those parties, Dr. appts., shopping, whatever..
You can break it down into 3 different times..do 3 10 minute workouts a day..take small walks at break..get up and do some squats, calf raises while washing your hands in the restroom..find little ways to squeeze it in..and the most important thing, write it all down!!
You can do this..I believe in you!

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CXNLITTLE 12/5/2010 2:29PM

    Hang in there, you can do it!

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1ROCKYMAMA 12/5/2010 9:41AM


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RONIREDD 12/5/2010 7:19AM

    I so know what you mean! Hang in there!

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WORKINGITIN 12/5/2010 2:04AM

    emoticon emoticon
Purged my closet in January to only have 2 sizes. Some months I regret it, was especially hard in April 2010. I now don't have any long sleeve shirts for work or play. Keep the faith.

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MOMFAN 12/4/2010 10:40PM

    I am there too, I packed up the too small clothes. I want back in them!

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MJHAINLINE_1 12/4/2010 10:17PM

    I know what it feels like not to be able to wear the clothes you think you should be wearing, but hang in there and it will happen. Maybe this is the movitation you need to do what you need to do to achieve the healthier lifestyle you want. emoticon

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KATIBUG49 12/4/2010 10:13PM

    I'm there with you, we need to work on staying positive & never give up. I know you can do it & I know it is hard. I have been on & off of diets my whole life & have a closet full of different sizes & I refuse to buy anymore that are in the bigger size. With the support of sites like this we can all make it happen. Good luck with tomorrow, you can do it!

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26M8J7 12/4/2010 10:10PM

    It sounds like you have had a busy day and thats a good thing. Even though you have not set aside time for structured exercising today you have still been active. That is great. It sounds like you are more determined than ever to be able to fit into your clothes and you will. It might not happen over night but with one step at a time we will reach our goals. One day at a time and one step at a time; we will get it done together.
Barbara emoticon emoticon

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December goals

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

wow, 2010 is almost over! i have to say i'm relieved. i had so many high hopes for 2010 and i have been very, very disapointed. i'm hoping 2011 will be better. i have a lot of goals to accomplish and i'm itching to get started. but december is such a crazy month! so i'm gonna try to keep it simple:

1. work out!

2. eat well when i can and really pay attention to what i'm eating when i'm not able to have complete control. make smart choices.

3. i have about 850 points to go to get my next trophy. i'm gonna do that in december! this may seem like a silly goal, but really it's intended to keep me active and paying attention to spark people while i'm busy and trying to be lazy over the month.

so pretty easy month. getting ready for next year while i still can. maybe i can finally get the scale to reverse the direction it's been heading the past couple months.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DONNA_VT 12/2/2010 10:25PM

    I liked being focused on the next trophy . . .it help me think about the program and all aspects of it. Sounds like you have a good plan for December.

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FIERYSPARKED 12/1/2010 4:43PM

    You can do it! Just stay focused and determined and you will make it happen!

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SQUINKLY 12/1/2010 2:32PM

    Wonderful goals! Keep focused, you can do it!

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MAGA99 12/1/2010 9:40AM

    sounds like a good plan

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LISSA-CRAVES 12/1/2010 8:56AM

    Great Goals to close out the year!! emoticon

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CXNLITTLE 12/1/2010 2:59AM

    Good goals! Good luck! emoticon

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MOMFAN 12/1/2010 2:28AM


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goals for 2011

Friday, November 19, 2010

i know this is early, but i have time to prepare.

*give up junk food. this includes fast food, candy, fried food, soda, convience-type stuff, and i'm sure the list will grow on a daily basis. i will allow myself "days off" on holidays and birthdays. this will just allow me to handle the tempations that may arise.

*lose 80 lbs. now i know this is tough and not advisable. first i'd have to lose 9 lbs by the end of this year. in order to accomplish this i'd have to lose 1.5 lbs every week next year. doable. especially if i'm not eating junk food.

*pay off debt. this is going to be tough. i will be broke. but if i stick with my plan i'll have a huge chunk paid off in a year. the the rest will be cake. then in a year dh and i can start the life we've been wanting for so long. we'll be able to have children, buy the new car we so desperately need. plus if i accomplish a good chunk of the 80 lbs i'll be ready to live out a long, healthy life with the energy i need and the lack of stress i desire. plus i can stop being ashamed of myself and my life.

*get a new job. i work in a toxic work environment. it's not helping me out in any way at all. must get away from here!

* focus on me!

it's gonna be a tough year. i know with a lot of work and i lot of focus i can succees and be proud of myself.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WORKINGITIN 11/21/2010 6:41PM

    We have sort of have 2 goals in common. Let's try to work together on both. If your game, let me know.
1. Get a new job. My job is also toxic. This is the reason I joined the Spark. I needed to feel better about myself since it's so BAD at my job.
2. I look for ways to save cash so we can support 2 household. My youngest daughter's is in her 5th and final year of college and the costs are HIGH since she doesn't have roommates anymore. So far I get my books from the library, movies from NetFlix, eat out with coupons only, look at internet for e-coupons when needing to gift anyone, and don't browse stores to resist the temptation of sales.


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CXNLITTLE 11/19/2010 7:06PM

    Good Luck! I know you can do it! I look forward to hearing about your progress!

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CONTENTANDFIT 11/19/2010 6:08PM

    Good luck with that. I bet Spark People can help with all of them.

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MICHCLEARY 11/19/2010 6:00PM

    Wow...great job planning in advance!

I wish you great success! Keep us posted on how you do.

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MOMFAN 11/19/2010 3:49PM


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DONNA_VT 11/19/2010 3:04PM

    Sounds like you have thought about this a lot. It is never too early to have goals. Good Luck on yours . . . I'll be watching to see how you do and to lend support if you need it.

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GOAL_WORTHY 11/19/2010 2:37PM

    Good luck with your goals. We can do it if we help each other. I know the challenges help me. I gained 20 lbs from last Spring and I too have set a high goal of 2 lbs a week. I just hope the snow and holiday temptations aren't too hard for me!

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CIVIAV 11/19/2010 12:39PM

    I am inspired to set goals for myself. Thanks so much for posting this out where we all can benefit!

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Tuesday, October 26, 2010

ugh, WHY am i having so much trouble getting motivated?! i know a million reasons i need to lose this weight, get healthy, find myself, etc. but WHY can't i put my plan into motion? i'm so frustrated! i need to get over this hump, well it's more like a gianormous mountain now, but i can't seem to. and i don't know WHY. i've always liked working out. i love eating healthy. but WHY can't i?

WHY do i:
push the snooze button too many times
lose all motivation to workout after work
eat junk food
drink alcohol
sit on my butt and watch tv
continue to be a lazy bum

i know i'm hard on myself, but i just keep disapointing myself day after day and it just gets easier to become more and more disgusted with who i am.

i know i need to listen to nike and "just do it", but for some reason i can't. i'm sure once i start i'll be fine, but i can't seem to start.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FIERYSPARKED 10/27/2010 7:16AM

    You CAN do this! I have been in your shoes before too!

My greatest motivation is time. I know what you are thinking "TIME?" I don't have "TIME"...but that's not what I mean.

Life is short and I want to make the best of it. We only have so much time on this planet and I want to make sure I enjoy it and live life to the fullest. When the weather is good, I get outside and get active. I take in nature...I LOVE that the leaves are changing colour right now. I OBSERVE my surroundings and see that life is beautiful and I want to take it all in...while I'm here on earth. When the weather is not so good, I try to do group classes that are FUN. Zumba, Yoga, etc. Why waste my time doing something I HATE?

It's made me wayyyy more positive. Also, I've been cleaning my house for 20-30 mins a day, rather than letting the laundry pile up all week or the bathroom look like a war zone. It keeps me sane and at the end of the week I have the weekend to REALLY spend time with my family and focus on the activities (exercise) that I need to do to keep myself healthy.

It also helps to buy a really cute workout outfit. Just sayin.


EDIT - I had to edit this because CANNONFODDERG made a really good point about television. I don't own a working television and my home computer is a piece of crap that I rarely turn on. I think last night my hubby beat it to death because it was working so slow. The ONLY show I really miss is Biggest Loser because it was motivational for me, but if I really want to watch it I watch it on a computer...but since my computer is sick right now...I haven't touched it in probably three weeks. (Plus I work on a computer alllllll day at work...why would I want to use one at home?)
SO yeah...TV...BIG time waster. There is so much more to life than watching someone elses on TV.

Why don't you try unplugging your TV from a certain time to certain time every day? Then plug it in at like 9-11 pm or whatever time your shows are on that you watch. That way you're not getting rid of your TV for good, but you are limiting yourself to how much you actually watch. Have you caught yourself actually sitting and watching infommercials? Time to unplug it.

Comment edited on: 10/27/2010 7:27:01 AM

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DONNA_VT 10/26/2010 8:58PM

    Look at all the comments and support you have from your blog! You can do this !

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MJHAINLINE_1 10/26/2010 4:06PM

    I have been where you are! You can do this! Find a motivational article or talk to a good friend. When I get down and feel unmotivated I beat myself up, but later I realized that we all have our ups and downs. We can only take it one day at a time, one moment at a time and will make mistakes along the way. emoticon

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MOMFAN 10/26/2010 2:31PM


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COACHKRYSTIE 10/26/2010 12:56PM


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CANNONFODDERG 10/26/2010 12:38PM

    Ugh...hard to read because we've all been there (and sometimes re-visit all too often).

All in steps! Every time you start re-collecting bad habits, drop them again, one by one.

I think the most important would be the exercising. Don't even let it be an option, seriously. Pick a time you go, and short of an emergency, don't reschedule for anything. If people want to get together, make them schedule around the gym. It just has to be done.

Once you get that routine back in order, the rest start not seeming so bad. I know days that I let myself indulge more than I should, I make myself see each indiscretion as how much cardio I'll have to do to make that up. That will help curtail the cravings a few times.

TV is an AWFUL timesink. I'm as guilty as the next. My roomate and I just dropped cable actually. I told myself "if it's not available online, I don't need to be watching it". And it's helped. I watch so much less, and everything I watch are things I WANTED to watch, not the reruns and crap you get sucked into just because it's on and you're there.

It seems impossible when you lump it all together. Make a choice tomorrow to change one bad habit you're stuck in.

You CAN do this!!

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EVRLNGFOO 10/26/2010 11:37AM

    thanks for the words of encouragement. i know i just need to get off my butt, stop making excuses and do this! i will start with small daily goals and see what i can acheive. today's goal will be 8 glasses of water. i used to be a water champ, even that's left me.

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JUDYFRANCE 10/26/2010 11:16AM

    I just took a look at your Sparkpage. You were SO motivated when you wrote all of that. Remember: You don't want to be the way you were in your 20's - on that rollercoaster ride. Remember where you've come from and keep your eye on where you want to go. Hopefully it will help you get past this phase...yes, it is just a phase. We all go through this. You WILL find your way. emoticon After reading your Sparkkpage, I know you can!

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RAVENSONG37 10/26/2010 11:09AM

    You sound just like me! We do just have to do it...and to notice how great it feels when we do what's good for us!! You can do it!!

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BMVAHL17 10/26/2010 11:07AM

    You are right... I am/is/was the same way!! And it will be an every day battle - period... I wish I could say it was easy...but it's not...

It's easy to sit back and say...
- I can't - I don't want to - It's too hard - I feel lazy...

Just stop saying it and just do it...YES IT SUCKS AND YES IT'S HARD, but YOU ARE WORTH IT even if you don't feel like you are...I know I've been there many many many many times...and I know I will probably find myself there again...

But today - I stopped complaining about it and did something about it... Was it easy - NOOOOOOO - It took ALL I had to overcome the several ways my mind was trying to talk myself out of it... BUT, I got up at 5:30am and worked out... And I am going to make it my goal to do it every day...the faster it becomes a habit, the better off I will be and the less apt to "fall off the wagon" I will be.


emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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AMYCRAFT05 10/26/2010 11:06AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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new year's resolution 2011 & how to determine junk food?

Thursday, October 14, 2010

i know i haven't blogged in like a month and i've been a very bad sparker all around. stuff just has not been going well for me. and i'm very busy at work. i'm working on getting things "fixed" so i can focus on spark and make me a better person.

putting aside the crud for now, i'll blog about it one of these days, i've tried a couple times already. anyway, i'm thinking about what i want to do for my new year's resolution for 2011. i always make a major one that i focus on and so far i've been successful. 2004 my goal was to drink at least 64 oz a water a day every day, i did this and it was an eye opening experience. 2009 i gave up soda and was extremely successful. for 2010 i gave up fast food. so far so good. this year i really want to push myself, but do something uber healthy. i've thought about giving up unhealthy processed food. i've been thinking about giving up soda again and i haven't missed fast food at all. so what i'm thinking is giving up junk food. that's a rather broad term though. i need to narrow it down and come up with what is junk and what is not. and any flex time i may be allowed, holidays, b-days, etc. if someone buys me a cake i'm going to have a small piece, that sort of thing.

so what do you consider junk food?
soda, candy, fast food, baked goods,,,i really don't know where to draw the line. if i make a batch of cookies do i consider them junk cause they're cookies or do i assume they are allowed cause they are homemade? is a beverage like sobe lifewater junk food? what kind of frozen food is junk & what isn't? this is all stuff i need to seriously consider in the next couple months.

what i'm asking of all of you is what you consider junk food and what you don't. and how you may decide if something is or isn't.

thanks for any ideas and advice you can offer.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOMFAN 10/15/2010 5:54PM

    Moderation is the key not deprivation.

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MAGA99 10/15/2010 10:16AM

    if u make ur cookies healthier they r not junk

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CARPENSM 10/15/2010 10:05AM

    Sounds like an interesting resolution but I do agree that you have to give yourself some flex.

For me, junk food has always been:

Candy, chips, ice cream etc. Bascially anything unhealthy that I would have snacked on at home.

Frozen wise, I would count sugary frozen snacks as junk food but not frozen fruity things... like frozen fruit bars.

Its all about what's junk food for you as well... what are your triggers. For example, a lot of ppl would count popcorn as junk food, for me I don't because I eat it about once every month or two and eat natural popcorn... so I figure its an ok part of my diet. Candy on the other hand, pre spark people I would have eaten candy once or twice a week so that was a junk food that had to go!

Good luck with your resolution!!

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MICHCLEARY 10/15/2010 8:52AM

    I have been following the Clean Eating diet for over a year. You can get their magazine at Walmart or visit their website. www.cleaneatingdiet.com.

ically it is a no junk food diet way of eating, all healthy fruits, veggies, whole grains, healthy fats, proteins. They have cookies and dessert, but they are made a healthy way.

You've got time to do a little research and try out a few of their recipes before 2011. I've lost 87 lbs this way over two years and kept it off. I'd highly recomend.

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SHAN2SHAGG 10/15/2010 12:32AM

    you have a head start on the new year!! I consider everything junk that is artificial, has preservatives, sugar, fake stuff in it or has a long shelf life. Non junk items include, fruit, vegi, grains, milk, meat, and everything homemade. Now if you do make your own cookies. don't overeat, or over indulge in the treat. yes, it has sugar, but it was work to make it, and you can always put half as much sugar in it, or add whole wheat four or oatmeal to it. it is hard to get over the convenience foods, but you will feel so much better and proud of your choices. I bake once a week to make sure the kids and husband have treats. They love homemade food. who doesn't! emoticon heres a guilt free cookie! Shan

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SHAN2SHAGG 10/15/2010 12:31AM

    you have a head start on the new year!! I consider everything junk that is artificial, has preservatives, sugar, fake stuff in it or has a long shelf life. Non junk items include, fruit, vegi, grains, milk, meat, and everything homemade. Now if you do make your own cookies. don't overeat, or over indulge in the treat. yes, it has sugar, but it was work to make it, and you can always put half as much sugar in it, or add whole wheat four or oatmeal to it. it is hard to get over the convenience foods, but you will feel so much better and proud of your choices. I bake once a week to make sure the kids and husband have treats. They love homemade food. who doesn't! emoticon heres a guilt free cookie! Shan

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WORKINGITIN 10/14/2010 9:56PM

I can see your dilema here and congratulate you planning early for 2011 junk food ban.

Generally, junk food is high calories with high fat, high sugar and/or high sodium.

It sounds like a lot of work, but enter in your recipe in the recipe calculator on spark recipes and it will give you the breakdown of calories, fat, sodium, and sugar - then you can figure out if your "baked cookies" are junk food.

Maybe you should change it up and decide on healthy snacks. WebMD has an article on healthy snacks http://www.webmd.com/diet/features/

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