Thursday, October 14, 2010
i know i haven't blogged in like a month and i've been a very bad sparker all around. stuff just has not been going well for me. and i'm very busy at work. i'm working on getting things "fixed" so i can focus on spark and make me a better person.
putting aside the crud for now, i'll blog about it one of these days, i've tried a couple times already. anyway, i'm thinking about what i want to do for my new year's resolution for 2011. i always make a major one that i focus on and so far i've been successful. 2004 my goal was to drink at least 64 oz a water a day every day, i did this and it was an eye opening experience. 2009 i gave up soda and was extremely successful. for 2010 i gave up fast food. so far so good. this year i really want to push myself, but do something uber healthy. i've thought about giving up unhealthy processed food. i've been thinking about giving up soda again and i haven't missed fast food at all. so what i'm thinking is giving up junk food. that's a rather broad term though. i need to narrow it down and come up with what is junk and what is not. and any flex time i may be allowed, holidays, b-days, etc. if someone buys me a cake i'm going to have a small piece, that sort of thing.
so what do you consider junk food?
soda, candy, fast food, baked goods,,,i really don't know where to draw the line. if i make a batch of cookies do i consider them junk cause they're cookies or do i assume they are allowed cause they are homemade? is a beverage like sobe lifewater junk food? what kind of frozen food is junk & what isn't? this is all stuff i need to seriously consider in the next couple months.
what i'm asking of all of you is what you consider junk food and what you don't. and how you may decide if something is or isn't.
thanks for any ideas and advice you can offer.
Monday, September 13, 2010
what do i do when i'm stressed, annoyed with myself, frustrated with the scale? drink..
got home from work and decided whiskey and coke were a good idea. then i tried to find someone to go out with to dinner or just drinks. no luck. so i started drinking beer. ugh! this is not good!
now i'm lonely and bored watching the young and the restless on soap network. sigh.
i'll finish this beer and then i'm done so i can be in some sort of condition to work out tomorrow. that's my goal for the day, workout in the morning!
i won't let you (the you who are reading this) down, or myself. i'll blog tomorrow whether or not this goal was successful.
Friday, September 03, 2010
3 days in and i'm still going. but i'm not going anywhere. *sigh* i know change isn't going to happen over night. i'm still busy with summer stuff, so it's been difficult to focus on myself. my morning schedule is all screwed up due to dh's overtime work schedule. can't complain about extra money though! i'm hoping to chill out this weekend, regain focus, get a tentative menu made up for the month and get a shopping list ready. that's one of my biggest problems right now, not having the most healthy food in my home.
i'm rereading the spark to get motivated and all sparked up for this month. i know i lack focus, so that's my first challenge. gain focus! i'm going to make a list of goals and what i want out of life tonight. one of my problems is i already feel it's too late in life to make changes, so i just keep watching life pass me by. gotta stop that!
i'm waiting on payday to get food and i have a couple holiday things planned for the weekend, but what i do have complete control over is working out and water intake. those will be my weekend goals: get in 3 good workouts and a min of 64 oz of water daily.
there must be some sort of weird hormone thing in me that triggers this desire to lose weight and get in shape right before my period starts. partt of pms, maybe? i'm always like, this is the week! step on the scale for a 2 lb gain and then try to fight sugar and greasy food cravings for 3 days. anyone else have this problem? at least i know i'll have a 2 lbs loss on monday. doesn't really count though.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
i went on vacation in the middle of august. didn't go anywhere, just did stuff around the house and relaxed. since i've returned from vacation i've been a mess. i haven't worked out, i haven't eaten real well and i've been drinking a lot of beer. not to the point of getting drunk or anything, just consuming a lot of unnecessary calories. i know it's stress from summer winding down, but i feel out of control.
summer is always a whirlwind of stuff to do. i want to say things will improve in sept, and i have very possitive feelings about sept, but i had to be realistic: i don't have a free weekend til oct 16! i have a wedding, a birthday party, two camping trips, oktoberfest, and my wedding anniversary to deal with between now and then.
i need to focus more on spark. i am going to make that my september goal. i need to focus on my eating, working out and water intake again. i got very sloppy over the summer. what can i say, i love summer! i hate winter! so i need to start now and get into a rhythm so i don't let this winter kill me like last winter did.
i wake up every morning with a horrible backache. i know this is caused by my awful bed and an accident when i was like 6, but most importantly, it is easily control with regular exercise. so why am i not exercising?
when i "grew" out of my clothes i refused to by more (aside from jeans, but even that's painful). so i wear my husbands t-shirts. i'm so sick of wearing his freaking clothes! even when i go out with friends that is what i wear. i have very few shirts of my own that fit, maybe 3. every morning i go into my closet and look for something to wear. i don't even go to my side anymore, i head to his. i looked through my side the other day hoping there was something i could use. no. it was so sad! most of what is in there isn't even stylish anymore, but it would be nice to wear something that's mine again.
i need to stop hiding in clothes and get myself to a mental place where i can try on clothes at the department store without crying and just give up on owning something nice to wear. that's my goal by the end of the year.
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