EVRLNGFOO   34,186
SparkPoints
30,000-39,999 SparkPoints
 
 
EVRLNGFOO's Recent Blog Entries

Progress report on a no alcohol june

Thursday, June 10, 2010

so far so good! i've been lucky enough to be able to avoid most of my alcohol temptation social events and have kept it out of the house so that temptation is gone. for now. every weekend poses a challenge.
this weekend i got two invitations. one was to a bar and the other a bbq. i was going to do the bbq. but i will be bowing out of that as well. it's tomorrow night and with that and everything going on saturday i just don't have time to go to a bbq. saved once again! now i just have to keep it out of the house...
my big challeng will be saturday night. my bff's cousin is turning 21. all the cousins are taking him out. i grew up with these kids and feel i need to make an appearance. i have a very busy day saturday so i know i'll be exhausted by the time the night rolls around. i'll play the role of dd and not drink. plus i know when i'm that tired and start drinking i just want to go to bed. lol! plus. i still have my allergy issues going on. so plenty of reasons/excuses to keep my sober this weekend.

a few days ago i wrote a blog about some of the causes for my excessive drinking. the past few days i've been thinking about why i drink in the first place. i have a few ideas:

*i'm bored.
*i'm trying to recapture that first time. you know, like a person addicted to crack.
*i'm trying to get back to a better time in my life. this is complicated, i have these memories of being 19 - 23 just having a blast. i want that again. somehow i think alcohol will do that. i know it won't, but it just takes one thought of those times and how things are now and i'll grab a drink.
*everyone else is doing it.
*it makes people feel awkward when they are drinking and not everyone else is. i've give up alcohol for lent and other random things before. everytime i've been in a social situation and others are drinking they constantly ask why i'm not. it makes them uncomfortable. i have to put my own comfort first. i've also learned to never ask anyone why they aren't drinking.
*did i mention i'm bored?

So, i need to find a hobby and i need to take control for social situations. that will be a good start!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AMYNUNLEY 6/14/2010 12:43AM

  First of all, great job on an alcohol free june! what i dont understand about people these days is the need to be "apologetic" for not drinking alcohol. Would you have to apologize if you were allergic to milk and everyone around you was drinking it? treat alcohol like an allergy. also, eliminate the last two of your reasons for drinking. I havent had a drop to drink in 7 years and I have fun and go out all the time. I am a non-drinker and everyone knows it, anytime someone tries to make me feel like i am ruining their fun, I just say "so should I throw it all away for you?" Most people admire someone who can give up alcohol, and even be around it. Any friend who would pressure you to drink is NO friend. you need to be up front and proud of the fact that you don't drink. you'll be suprised how supportive people can be!
congratulations and great job!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MOMFAN 6/11/2010 2:34AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
-AIRYN- 6/10/2010 10:33PM

    That is awesome!! I wish that I could give it but but I really do enjoy it. If your friends are good friends then they won't ask! Mine don't but they do enjoy it b/c then I do play the role of DD!! Good luck :)

Report Inappropriate Comment
KSW1963 6/10/2010 10:30PM

    I'm so proud of you for making it 10 days without anything to drink. That is awesome! You are 1/3 of the way to making your first goal. emoticon Keep it up!

Report Inappropriate Comment
ROGDOG 6/10/2010 9:03PM

    Liked your blog, mostly because I can identify with most things in it. My favorite reason for drinking comes from the AA Big Book .' Men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol.' Keeps it simple for me, and I need simple or I lose track! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
BAKER1009 6/10/2010 7:08PM

    Good job on your progress. Remember to always just take it one day at a time, to keep it from being to stressful on you. You have a lot of great ideas and you're doing some great things! Keep up the good work!

Report Inappropriate Comment
_MRSFISH_ 6/10/2010 2:31PM

    Good for you! It sounds like you are making good progress on identifying issues and situations that may pose a challenge, and you working through those things to your benefit! You're doing great!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
DONNA_VT 6/10/2010 2:07PM

    So glad to hear that you are doing ok so far. Please also post if we can be of help . . . just chatting it through sometimes helps. Good Luck this weekend.

Report Inappropriate Comment
MAGA99 6/10/2010 1:34PM

    it's great that u r figuring out the y's
WISHING U MUCH LUCK
for me it relieves stress especially when I'm having my panic attackes

Report Inappropriate Comment
TEACHEROF4TH 6/10/2010 12:28PM

    You're really evaluating your motives and reasons behind your alcohol consumption, so that is definitely a good thing. Your plan is well thought out, so another great choice... good for you! Keep it going and have a fun weekend!

emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
CH0COTIGGER 6/10/2010 11:53AM

    Wow! You are really awesome to be able to do this. Just a suggestion-plan ahead what you may say or do if you are offered a drink at the party so you are prepared.
Write a blog after the party and let us know how it went for you. We are here for you.
What are some things that interest you? Have you started a streak on spark people to see how long you can go without alcohol.
emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 6/10/2010 11:54:41 AM

Report Inappropriate Comment
SMALLONEDAY 6/10/2010 11:52AM

    you can do it your making the right steps so far great job on how far you have come already

Report Inappropriate Comment


sick & mia

Monday, June 07, 2010

an update: thursday night, walk night with the girls that ends in wine drinking, got cancelled. saved by the bell!

weekend camping trip that was going to be a challenge got rained out. saved by the rain!

bad news: i have this cold allergy thing going on. good news: drinking kills my allergies in a way that it's almost impossible to drink any alcohol at all. and i am well aware of the fact that alcohol makes sickness linger and can make you even more sick. saved by the sniffles!

so i'm doing alright in my quest to avoid alcohol.

i was weeding and digging in the yard all weekend. we are preparing to lay sod. that's a lot of work. didn't help my allergy problem, but it was nice to be sweating and using some muscles for once.

not much to share today, just wanted to give you all an update.

one day at a time...

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RAINBOWFALLS 6/8/2010 8:13AM

    I believe in signs and I think you were saved for a reason. I hope this keeps you going for June!

Report Inappropriate Comment
SPARKGIRL32 6/8/2010 12:55AM

    Great job!!! I hope you feel better soon though!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MOMFAN 6/7/2010 11:42PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
DONNA_VT 6/7/2010 10:16PM

    I believe that everything happens for a reason maybe all of these happening to help you in your quest are happenin for a reason . . .to make it easier for you to get started. I'm glad to here you are doing well. Keep going

Report Inappropriate Comment
KSW1963 6/7/2010 8:59PM

    I am so proud of you! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
TARAFANA1 6/7/2010 4:45PM

    emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
GOAL_WORTHY 6/7/2010 3:50PM

    Great job!

Report Inappropriate Comment
ILOVEME2MUCH 6/7/2010 11:06AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment


test #1 for staying sober: walking with the girls

Thursday, June 03, 2010

my friends and i gather every week to walk and then drink wine when we are done. it's a fun way for us to chat and catch up, and there are no boys allowed. we finish off the evening with a bottle of wine. so i'm going to be tested tonight when the bottle is uncorked. question is, will i be strong enough to withstand or cave in rather than admitting my problem?

thank you all for the wonderful comments on my previous blog. i have been thinking a lot about your comments, hints, advice and similar stories. i'm really trying to get to the root of my problem and your insight has helped so much! especially knowing i'm not alone!

i've been thinking about a my drinking habits the past couple days. in my dream world i would love to be able to go to dinner and have one drink. have a glass of wine nightly with my dinner. meet some friends at the bar and share a pitcher of beer. go to happy hour and then go home at 7 when it's over and be fine with that. all of the above situations do happen to me, but i don't stop at that one drink, pitcher or drink special. i need more.

i tell myself one drink and that's it. but i always have more. i love feeling buzzed. and once i'm there, i don't want it to go away so i keep going. i don't see the point in drinking if i'm not going to get buzzed. take tonight for instance, the 3 or 4 of us will share a bottle of wine. not biggie, that's not much more than one glass for each person. we're chatting and having a good time then it's time to go home. i'm still feeling the very beginning effects of the wine. so when i get home i pop open a beer or make a rum & coke. then i finally have the good buzz i'm searching for. then i have another to keep it going. before i know it it's thursday night and i'm in no condition to drive (not that i would, i'm just using that as a drunkness-meter).

this same scenario works for going out to dinner, having dinner with a friend, having a drink at a bar or just hanging out at home. it's sad, but at least i can recognize it. now i just have to figure out what to do with the information.

as for my drunken rib injury: i'm starting to feel better! i read that you're not supposed to do any activity that will raise your heartrate and cause your lungs to put pressure on your ribs. if the rain holds out and our walk happens tonight i'll be able to tell just how much aerobic activity is too much. what really sucks is i was planning on starting jillian's 30 day shred for june to get toned for short season. don't see that happening till the ribs are better.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MSAEBARRON 6/4/2010 10:30AM

    Me and my girlfriends do the same thing - we take a long walk around downtown and the beach and then go back to my girlfriends house to talk and have a beer or two. I have a hard time stopping when I start drinking especially when I am in good company. So I have resolved to never drink after my walk with them - I will sit and talk, but only drink water. Seriously, you are negating your walk with the wine after anyway. What's the point in the walk if you are going to ruin it with empty wine calories?? The last two sentences are what I say to myself after my walk when I am offered the beer or wine.

Also, have you thought at all about taking all the alcohol out of your house? I have made my house an alcohol-free safe haven. I never drink at home. I see it as a place to be healthy - a place to get away from my alcohol dependency.

Good luck hun! I identify with your situation so much but am happy to say I have been making big steps to change my habits.

I haven't drank since Friday and yes, I have been feeling antsy, yes, I have thought about it everyday, but I feel so proud and good about myself. Once you start seeing yourself taking baby steps toward healthy thinking and acting you will start to think about drinking less and feeling good more. Being drunk is not you "feeling good" - it's a lie, it's all smoke and mirrors. Don't kid yourself like I have for so many years.

STAY STRONG!! You can defeat this. You are worth it.

Report Inappropriate Comment
JEWELS571 6/3/2010 10:16PM

    My story started much like yours and then progressed to the point of blackouts, you can take control now, it is possible!

Report Inappropriate Comment
ROGDOG 6/3/2010 9:03PM

    Thanks for your very honest blog. You tell my story exactly as I would tell it, no great (Thousand Little Pieces) wild binges waking up in a foreign country, no jails (well there was this one little time, but it was a short stay) and no one other than my family ever noticed anything unusual. But, with one, I always wanted another, and after that one another, and so on. Always until I went to sleep (usually with one unfinished - and just in case - beside the bed) or passed out.

You are in the most difficult part, early on, when you are just realizing there is a problem, but before you have done what you need to do to put you firmly on sober ground. No biggy, don't sweat it, we all have been there. But, just as you will need to deal with friends who still drink, even more important is to have a group of sobriety minded friends. Friends to call when you need, and even more importantly, keep you accountable for what you do. All of us here, in the recovery club are willing to give support, but my experience is nothing beats having face to face support. If you need help finding that let me know.

All the best and keep it up, you are having the moment of clarity that most of us with a problem, never have. Unfortunately, the majority of alcoholics go to the grave denying, while we, and all of those around us, suffer.

Comment edited on: 6/3/2010 9:12:31 PM

Report Inappropriate Comment
TONYA_JO 6/3/2010 6:30PM

    emoticon We're here for you!

Report Inappropriate Comment
_MRSFISH_ 6/3/2010 6:18PM

    Thinking of you and saying a prayer. Share with your friends. Give them the chance to step up in support of you. They'll love it!

emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
DONNA_VT 6/3/2010 5:35PM

    I will be thinking of you this evening as you make your decisions. Hopefully they are what you really want to do but either way remember it is your decision to make. My thoughts are with you and we are all still here to support you. emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
KMIRANDA2000 6/3/2010 3:50PM

    It's such a hard thing...never thought I'd have this problem.

Report Inappropriate Comment
RAINBOWFALLS 6/3/2010 3:30PM

    I also think you should drink water tonight and maybe find an alternative to the bottle of wine after the walk with the rest. You need your friends, but then need to know of your choice and help support you with it.

I too still think seeking professional help to get to the root of the problem will be beneficial. Good Luck I'm rooting for you! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
ILOVEME2MUCH 6/3/2010 2:14PM

    While I do not have a problem with drinking, I will commit to not drinking this month in support of you. Let me know if you want an abstinence buddy.

Report Inappropriate Comment
TMFBITU 6/3/2010 11:19AM

    I "learned" to drink by bingeing too. It's a tough habit to break, especially when it's such a part of your social life.

Since joining SparkPeople I've been reading about all these amazing people who have fought their way back from 300, 500, 600 pounds and it's occurred to me that a binge is a binge: There is no difference between drinking an entire bottle of wine and eating an entire chocolate cheesecake.

Just for one night, bring fresh limes, and drink ice water (use a fancy glass, it helps) instead of wine. Crack jokes about how you're not even going to start drinking because you'll just want more and you can't afford the calories. Your friends care about you, not what you drink.

See how it goes -- and pay attention to how you feel afterward!

Report Inappropriate Comment
KSW1963 6/3/2010 11:15AM

    I think you should tell your friends that you have a problem...and ask for their help in not tempting you...or don't go with them at all because you know you can't handle it. I really, really think that you are going to have to get some professional help to overcome this...because it sounds like it is going to be resistant to change...and you have some patterns and traditions that you will need to replace with new and healthy ones in order to make a lasting change. Your June goal is to stay sober..so flirting with purtting yourself in situations that you KNOW are going to cause you to drink seems counter productive. Do you really WANT to change? It sounds like you still haven't decided.

I hope you do the right thing. I know that if you really want this you CAN do this! Don't go into it half-hearted. Make a commitment! I will be looking for something on your status or a blog tomorrow that tells about how you did the right thing and how happy you feel because it was a step towards being the person that you want to be..and that you are accomplishing the goal that you set for June one day at a time.

I wish you all of the success in the world and am praying very hard for you.

Kathy

Report Inappropriate Comment
DANIELWIFEY 6/3/2010 11:09AM

    Good for you for making a decision to do something about your problem! All the best tonight---stay strong!

Report Inappropriate Comment
HPYGRL09 6/3/2010 11:02AM

    One day at a time...... emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment


June goals = need to get sober!

Tuesday, June 01, 2010

my goal for june was going to be work out everyday. I would still like to do this, but i have come to the realization over the weekend that i need to quit drinking. maybe not forever, but for a good amount of time. i have developed some crazy bad drinking habits lately. it seems like every weekend all i do is drink. when weigh in day is monday this makes for very bad results.
i'm never going to lose weight if i don't quit drinking. aside from the thousands of calories i consume in a night (yes, i'm a binge drinker) from the alcohol i also eat entirely too much. i either eat cause i'm drunk and everything sounds/looks so good or i eat to help cure the hangover feelings.
for instance, saturday night i went out for a friend's birthday. i drank about a half a bottle of rum before hand. i also ate dinner. it was even healthy! i had a couple more drinks at the bar. i was dancing and somehow got hit in the chest and got the wind knocked out of me. so my ribs are bruised. now i have to avoid strenuous activities. needless to say, i felt like crud sunday. i weeded for a couple hours, but mostly i sat around and ate junk food. i went to a bbq that night and didn't drink. mostly cause i said i was going to quit.
yesterday i sat inside cause it wouldn't quit raining. i was doing great avoiding the alcohol and then i just couldn't anymore. so i finished off the bottle of rum and then some. basically, if there is alcohol in the house i have to drink it.
obviously i have a problem. so i'm going to focus on not drinking this month. i'm going to blog about it a lot so that i can keep myself in check.
i have amazing willpower. i just can't control it when it comes to alcohol. i can never stop at one drink. i always go too far. in 2009 i gave up soda for my new year's resolution. and i succeeded with no problem. for 2010 i gave up fast food. haven't had any so far. so why can't i use this strength with alcohol? a few years ago i went 9 weeks without a drink. then 4th of july hit and i broke that streak. i can't seem to go a week anymore. if i can overcome this obstacle i can get that scale moving in the right direction again.

wish me luck!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ICEMONKEY 6/4/2010 5:57PM

    I agree with the others here. The first step is admitting that your will power alone cannot kick your addiction. Find an AA meeting, get all alcohol out of your house and, if I were you, don't go to parties where there is alcohol. The addiction is bigger than you, which is why it's an addiction, and something that you, alone, cannot conquer. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
_MRSFISH_ 6/3/2010 6:12PM

    You are fantastic and amazing! I have such respect for everyone who recognizes that they need a change, especially if it involves an addiction. I have a family member that has come to the same conclusion, and I am so proud of him! I agree with the others... find some support. You can do this! One day at a time.

Report Inappropriate Comment
3JAYSNRICK 6/2/2010 11:03AM

  Yay! Welcome home. Find an AA meeting and let them love all over you. Addiction can't be fought with will power. The love of your peers in AA and the tools they have learned will guide you into 7 days, 30 days, 1 year..... I'm excited for you.

emoticon
~Julie~

Report Inappropriate Comment
BAKER1009 6/1/2010 10:46PM

    You can do this...there is just this voice inside your head telling you that you can't. Get rid of that voice :) Easier said than done, I know. I ended up in rehab myself, not because of drinking, but because of drugs. I had decided not to drink, and started medicating myself. Once I went through rehab I came out with such a clear head. I was basically forced into rehab (my other option was jail, not an option to me at all) and I have to say it was the best thing ever. I'm not saying you need rehab (not saying that at all) but I want to let you know that there is all kinds of support out there for you. We Sparkers are here to help, and AA meetings are great (and FREE!). There's always a meeting somewhere. The only thing required is a desire to quit. And everyone there has something in common, the desire. You can do this, be strong, and remember to always just take it one day at a time. Don't hurt yourself thinking about yesterday, and don't worry yourself thinking about tomorrow. Let me know if you need anything at all!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MAGA99 6/1/2010 8:58PM

    emoticon
it's not easy trust me I know I'm working on this myself
stay strong

Report Inappropriate Comment
KSW1963 6/1/2010 8:50PM

    I was just re-reading through some of your other blogs...and I can tell that this isn't a thing that you want for yourself. You want to have self-control and love yourself. You are an amazing woman who has accomplished so much in the past year. I know that you will do what it takes to win this battle too! If there is any way that I can help let me know. I know as I have been dealing with stuff...it helps to have a detailed plan as to how to handle these tough battles. What will you do if you are invited to a party where there is alcohol? How will you keep yourself from drinking at home? That way you will be as prepared as you can be to meet your goal. I believe you can do this! Good luck.

Kathy

Report Inappropriate Comment
RAINBOWFALLS 6/1/2010 7:36PM

    I think recogonizing is half the battle. You may want to seek some professional help to help make it easier.

Best of luck to you.

Report Inappropriate Comment
MSAEBARRON 6/1/2010 3:58PM

    I feel your pain! I'm a binge drinker as well except I generally only drink when I am away from the house (which is all the time). I was saying I would quit drinking for the month of June while I was at lunch a few hours ago....Then I logged into my Facebook account and saw that two of my friends bands were playing at my boyfriends bar on Friday night and immediately thought "There is no way I'm not drinking on Friday." I don't know what to do - it's like my life completely revolves around drinking, being at the bar, and nursing my hangovers. I have been able to cut down on the number of days in a week I drink, but when I do drink it's always 10 or more drinks. I thought maybe I could drink water the whole time and only take shots, but that has not made any difference - I still drink just as much because shots go down a lot faster.

It's a tough road. I'm not sure how to navigate it. Sorry I really don't have any advice, but I wanted to let you know you aren't alone in your struggle.

Even though I have an event Friday - I am still going to try not to drink. Maybe drinking soda water with lime will make me feel better since it "LOOKS" like a cocktail...

Good luck!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MOMFAN 6/1/2010 3:37PM

    At least giving up drinking is easier then giving up eating, because you cannot completely give up eating! You can do this!

Report Inappropriate Comment
DONNA_VT 6/1/2010 3:13PM

    You have a lot of support from your Spark friends . . .ask any of us to chat with you and get you through any rough patches along the road. Good luck and I'll be following your blog to see how you are doing and support you.

Report Inappropriate Comment
COLT2008 6/1/2010 1:37PM

    emoticon and by recognizing that you need to do it you are part way there.

There are many reasons some binge drink and I don't know your situation, but one is alcohol dehydrates leaving a person thirsty so to quench the thirst a person will drink more alcohol. A friend of mine recognized this in herself so I recommended that she drink a bottle of water and eat a snall snack before going out. Then if she did order a drink sip on it while sipping on a glass of water. It did help her and she still enjoys going out but also enjoys where she is at health-wise.

emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
COACHKRYSTIE 6/1/2010 1:18PM

    Cheering and praying for you!! You can do this!

Report Inappropriate Comment
ILOVEME2MUCH 6/1/2010 1:05PM

    I am going to do more than wish you luck; I am going to pray for you! I've been down this road and for as much as you have will power, it sounds like you need outside help to get to the root of why you drink the way you do. I hope that you are surrounded by people that will encourage and support you and love you as you get sober. Sometimes those closest to us can be detrimental to our well being. If you can, start by getting rid of all your liquor and do not replace it or allow it to be replaced.
I want so much for you to be able to do this and I think the scale should probably the least of your concerns right now.
All the best!
emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
FITKAT2010 6/1/2010 12:44PM

    Please also seek some support on your end. We all have things that we have difficulty overcoming.

My mom died of alcoholism so I do know what this can do to one's liver, among other things. It isn't pretty at all to die that way. Her Dr stated that he had never seen a liver as bad as hers.

So, I don't wish you luck. I want for you to get some support to help you overcome this demon.

Hugs

Kat

Report Inappropriate Comment
PGHLIONESS 6/1/2010 12:15PM

    HI, I agree with Harrington5. This is clearly an addiction, which with alcohol is not a problem for me, but cigs it definitely is a problem. Just one puts me back into that mindframe of just one more won't hurt.
Part of your challenge is accepting that life will have to change to reach your goals.

You have taken a really big first step and we are here to help as much as we can!
emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
RONIE11 6/1/2010 12:08PM

    Please feel free to use this blog to help you stay on track. My husband is going through this right now.. He started the first week of May. He has had the idea if he could give up his after work beer and just have a glass of wine with dinner on the weekend he would be ok.. NOT so now he thinks that if he doesn't drink unless we go out he will be ok.. This is his struggle and I can only be by his side while he figures it out.. I told him this was my life and our sons life that he is dragging down in the gutter with him and I will only be dragged just so far.. He understands this and is working on it..
You can get help from your doctor. They have treatments that are proven to help.
We are here for you and I know that you are strong enough and love yourself enough to make this change for the better.. If you laps its part of the process its like our streaks just how long between laps is a testament to your willingness to succeed..
Take this day by day my friend and you will be so much happier than you ever thought.
Here are some quotes from my hubby... " I can" thats a big one when you come home and head to the fridge for a beer very soon afterwards there is NO MORE I can's because the booze has taken that away.. also he stays up with us instead of drinking until he eats then goes to bed.. He also can talk to family and friends in the evenings because he is sober.. All these things he was never able to do because of the beer... I know you will find your own things that you find you can do now once the booze is out of the way...

Report Inappropriate Comment
SUNMOONSTAR9 6/1/2010 11:58AM

  good luck! if you can give up soda, and you can give up fast food, you can do this. Its all about wanting it and you sound like its something you want.

might I suggest changing your weekend habits? I know for me, I only drink if I am hanging out with certain people. or doing certain things. when I don't see those people, or we aren't having a bonfire or something I don't drink. I"m just as happy with water or something else.

I don't really know your situation but hopefully it gets you thinking on something that will help you.

emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
HARRINGTON5 6/1/2010 11:34AM

    It's a big step to admit that you have a problem and are not in control when it comes to alcohol. I really understand, but do you understand that it is an illness? It is not like quitting fast foods. I used to drink every thing in the house. I liked the feeling of being out of control (and I usually was) until one day I blacked out and had no idea what was going on. That is too scary and dangerous to let it continue. I only knew that I had eaten dinner because the plate was on the table. When you have a gas stove and know that you actually used it when you were "out of it", you know you have gone way, way too far. I haven't had a drink in 13 years, but I know if I take "just one" I will be right back where I started. I come from a long line of alcoholics and even married a couple. So, please, take control. Go get some help if you can't do it alone. Your life is worth the effort.
emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment


i'm done...

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

...being the fat girl
...being uncomfortable in my own skin
...being ashamed of myself
...hating what i look like
...avoiding the mirrors
...being unmotivated to work out
...letting alcohol control my life
...being an emotional eater
...wearing clothes that haven't been purchased in the last 5 years
...HATING MYSELF

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SEWINGMAMACDS 5/27/2010 1:17PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
COACHKRYSTIE 5/27/2010 8:04AM

    YOU CAN DO IT!!! I'm here cheering for you!!!!


HUGS!
Krystie

Visit our sparkteam DANDY LIONS http://teams.sparkpeople.com/dandyl
ions

Report Inappropriate Comment
PGHLIONESS 5/26/2010 9:12PM

    Be happy that you are realizing all this now and starting your new life! Be the person you want, since we only have one shot at all this.
Great post... emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
KEL_BEL_FX3 5/26/2010 9:00PM

    Excellent blog! WTG you!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MOMFAN 5/26/2010 8:55PM

    You are an amazing lady and you need to start looking yourself in the mirror and telling yourself how amazing you are!

Report Inappropriate Comment
TRIGFROST 5/26/2010 8:23PM

    Now= that your done being that person..
start working on the New Person inside to match the outside...
You have more to work on...Remember the Journey Continues
for a life time...Always "Something " to improve on your self...
Love, Hugs, SparkFriend....

Comment edited on: 5/26/2010 8:25:30 PM

Report Inappropriate Comment
TARAFANA1 5/26/2010 8:22PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MJHAINLINE_1 5/26/2010 8:19PM

    I agree with everything except the part about hating yourself. You shouldn't hate yourself, just not like what you see and be willing to make changes to become healthier. You can do it!

Report Inappropriate Comment
TONYA_JO 5/26/2010 8:19PM

    emoticon

I was a little scared to read your blog just from the title, thought you were going to say you were giving up on this journey.

So happy to read that is not the case!! And awesome job writing it all down!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MAGA99 5/26/2010 7:50PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
KAROUSELL46 5/26/2010 7:03PM

    I hear ya. That's one four letter work I like. DONE

Report Inappropriate Comment
FIGHT2SURVIVE 5/26/2010 6:46PM

    I'm done too but I'm done trying. I've had it.

Report Inappropriate Comment
SUGIRL06 5/26/2010 6:12PM

    That's right!
~Ang

Report Inappropriate Comment
FITKAT2010 5/26/2010 6:07PM

    And.......is this what you are wishing for or is this what you are hopeful for?

You are worth the effort it takes to put this list as a true done with that.

Report Inappropriate Comment
SHAKENMA 5/26/2010 5:48PM

    WOW! putting those things no one really wants to say about self must make you feel better. You are showing inner strength already and that you are worthy of that good thing inside of you. You will make it!

Keep Sparking and taking care of you in order to reach those goals and turn these negatives into positives one step at a time.

Report Inappropriate Comment
CHANSEN_20001 5/26/2010 5:01PM

    Great way to put it. I really like that.

Report Inappropriate Comment


First Page  1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 Last Page