EVRLNGFOO   32,106
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EVRLNGFOO's Recent Blog Entries

i'm done...

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

...being the fat girl
...being uncomfortable in my own skin
...being ashamed of myself
...hating what i look like
...avoiding the mirrors
...being unmotivated to work out
...letting alcohol control my life
...being an emotional eater
...wearing clothes that haven't been purchased in the last 5 years
...HATING MYSELF

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SEWINGMAMACDS 5/27/2010 1:17PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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COACHKRYSTIE 5/27/2010 8:04AM

    YOU CAN DO IT!!! I'm here cheering for you!!!!


HUGS!
Krystie

Visit our sparkteam DANDY LIONS http://teams.sparkpeople.com/dandyl
ions

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PGHLIONESS 5/26/2010 9:12PM

    Be happy that you are realizing all this now and starting your new life! Be the person you want, since we only have one shot at all this.
Great post... emoticon

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KEL_BEL_FX3 5/26/2010 9:00PM

    Excellent blog! WTG you!

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MOMFAN 5/26/2010 8:55PM

    You are an amazing lady and you need to start looking yourself in the mirror and telling yourself how amazing you are!

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TRIGFROST 5/26/2010 8:23PM

    Now= that your done being that person..
start working on the New Person inside to match the outside...
You have more to work on...Remember the Journey Continues
for a life time...Always "Something " to improve on your self...
Love, Hugs, SparkFriend....

Comment edited on: 5/26/2010 8:25:30 PM

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TARAFANA1 5/26/2010 8:22PM

    emoticon

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MJHAINLINE_1 5/26/2010 8:19PM

    I agree with everything except the part about hating yourself. You shouldn't hate yourself, just not like what you see and be willing to make changes to become healthier. You can do it!

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TONYA_JO 5/26/2010 8:19PM

    emoticon

I was a little scared to read your blog just from the title, thought you were going to say you were giving up on this journey.

So happy to read that is not the case!! And awesome job writing it all down!!

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MAGA99 5/26/2010 7:50PM

    emoticon

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KAROUSELL46 5/26/2010 7:03PM

    I hear ya. That's one four letter work I like. DONE

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FIGHT2SURVIVE 5/26/2010 6:46PM

    I'm done too but I'm done trying. I've had it.

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SUGIRL06 5/26/2010 6:12PM

    That's right!
~Ang

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FITKAT2010 5/26/2010 6:07PM

    And.......is this what you are wishing for or is this what you are hopeful for?

You are worth the effort it takes to put this list as a true done with that.

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SHAKENMA 5/26/2010 5:48PM

    WOW! putting those things no one really wants to say about self must make you feel better. You are showing inner strength already and that you are worthy of that good thing inside of you. You will make it!

Keep Sparking and taking care of you in order to reach those goals and turn these negatives into positives one step at a time.

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CHANSEN_20001 5/26/2010 5:01PM

    Great way to put it. I really like that.

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one year! wow!

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

today is my one year sparkiversary. what a year it's been!
i first found spark people when i was searching for stuff on clean living. i signed up cause it was free and i wanted to learn more about it. i was hooked instantly! i loved tracking my water and food and reading blogs from other members. and their pages! i love reading about other member's stories and journeys. they are so motivating.
last summer i was house-hunting and saving every penny i could. i was stressed and busy. i didn't have time to eat healthy and workout as much as i wanted to. though i know it would have helped the stress. i didn't really get into living a good spark life until october. since then i've lost and gained the same 10 lbs over and over. but, man, what i have learned about myself:

*i have a fear of success
*i have great willpower over many things except alcohol.
*i can't find my motivation to get up and work out every morning
*i'm on the fast track to getting diabetes
*if i have one bad moment in a day i let it ruin my whole day (eating wise)
*i don't know who i am anymore, but i'm slowly finding myself
*i don't always like myself
*i have toxic friends
*i have the power to change
*i can learn to like myself
*i am strong and determined

with these thoughts in mind i begin my journey of year 2. i am ready to make it a better year. i am focused, determined and very much ready to become someone i can accept and be happy with.

i'm going to kick off year 2 with the 28-day spark challenge. i've started it before but lost focus. i feel i'm better prepared now. i can do this! i've seen what people can do in a year around here and i want to be one of those people!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CASEYTALK 5/14/2010 7:59AM

    (I accidentally posted that twice. It lets me edit but not delete. Sorry!)

Comment edited on: 5/14/2010 8:00:11 AM

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CASEYTALK 5/14/2010 7:59AM

    This is a very insightful post. Thank you for it. It makes the rest of us think, too, about what is holding us back.

The next steps are 1) to take the issues one at a time (lord knows we can't do it all at once) and eliminate the negative and 2) look for more positives about ourselves so that we can feel our successes.

I mean, that one sentence really struck me about how one bad moment can wreck your whole day. Why? If you're eating right and exercising 23.99999 hours a day and indulge in junk for one minute, why does that make it a bad day? But I find myself thinking that way, too.

You and I know what we have to do. Let's DO it!

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FIGHT2SURVIVE 5/12/2010 7:15PM

    I think this was a wonderful blog. You have really learned a lot about yourself - a lot more than I have about myself but you have given me an idea that I have to think about for awhile. Thanks!
Erin

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MAGA99 5/12/2010 7:08PM

    emoticon emoticon

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MOMFAN 5/12/2010 2:27PM

    WooHoo! Congrats on you Sparkaversary! You are amazing!

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TARAFANA1 5/12/2010 1:54PM

    Right on, I believe this is going to be your year emoticon

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KARABEANLVRLNDA 5/12/2010 12:19PM

    emoticon on hanging in there your 1st year and all the self soul searching you've done to bring you to the awareness to make Year 2 all you dream it to be! I too can relate to the ups/downs you talk about but we are here to grow together and be encouragers for one another. Good Luck as you go forward and
thanks for sharing! Take it a day at a time and step by step cuz it all adds up to success!
Lynda

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GRANDMAAMIE 5/12/2010 12:14PM

    emoticon emoticon

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TONYA_JO 5/12/2010 12:06PM

    emoticon

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MINDYJ1 5/12/2010 11:40AM

    Happy emoticonIt sounds like you are doing great! emoticon

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RONIE11 5/12/2010 11:11AM

    It takes time to put it all together in our minds and soul.. Some it clicks right away and they have meet their goals and are done. Some (me) take time to learn it all and put it into practice so its not a beginning, middle, end, but an ongoing adventure that is scary, exciting, fun, and hard work all rolled up into one... You have been doing the ground work and it sounds like your ready for the commitment... Best of luck with the 28 day challenge... I know you will do GREAT!!!!

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COACHKRYSTIE 5/12/2010 11:09AM

    emoticon

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TACOTA 5/12/2010 10:59AM

    Looks like you've taken a serious look inside and done some personal inventory. Good for you! Knowledge is power! Wishing you the best. You can do this! Love yourself, accept the times you're not quite up to par, and BELIEVE in you!

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WITH_GRATITUDE 5/12/2010 10:58AM

   
fantastic insight -- listening to oneself & acknowledging ...

we are all on this journey with you

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CHOPOLA 5/12/2010 10:54AM

    Finding out about yourself is the first step to success. You are on your way!

emoticon

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join my fit & fab for the 4th challenge team

Tuesday, May 04, 2010

www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=42556


I started a challenge team that i thought would be a fun challenge with a good amount of time. 4th of July is 2 months away and that's plenty of time to make a good impact on your journey. come make your own goals and join in on the daily and weekly challenges.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SPARKPIXIE 5/8/2010 9:43AM

    Good luck with your team!

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SPARKPIXIE 5/8/2010 9:42AM

    Good luck with your team!

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clean living

Tuesday, May 04, 2010

for awhile now i've been researching clean living. it's actually how i found sparkpeople almost a year ago. my biggest hurdle for this lifestyle is money. i don't have the funds to go completely organic and natural with every aspect of my life. but i do what i can. i've been trying out more natural cleaners and household products. i built a deck out of composite wood. i'm becoming a very dedicated recycler. now i'm going to venture further into clean eating. it's going to be slow, mostly cause of the cost, but i'm going to do what i can. i'm going to plan this month and watch the ads for sales on certain things so i know when something is actually a good deal. in june i plan to eat clean. not everything will be organic, but i'll try to get as much organic food as possible. i'm going to cut out all processed foods (well, that bad ones) and try to eat nothing from a box or frozen meal type things. even if they are organic. produce will become more fresh & available with farmers markets and availibilty at the store. i think the challenge will be more challenging and rewarding if i have to make everything i eat and can't fall back on an easy excuse of frozen pizza.

i think this will be a very good learning experience. i'm looking forward to this challenge and i'm very excited to see what the results will be.

does anyone have any advice, ideas, tips, recipes, etc to share?

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JEWITCH 5/10/2010 8:07PM

    I have been working on clean living for several years. I at first tried to do it all at once and crashed and burned. I found it is best to do it in stages and once I am comfortable with one stage then move to another. I found the way to go organic was to raise my own vegetables. I then can afford to by organic fruits. Also if you give up meat then you can afford to spend more on better fruits and vegetables. You might want to also see if you can get friends to go into a co-op with you then you can get organics for less.

I am sure if you keep at it you will be able to do it. Take care. Brightest blessings and warm hugs.
emoticon

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5POINTED 5/10/2010 6:34PM

    This is one of my passions and something I've been doing since I was a teen. I've always been on a budget, and often making your own household cleaners is much cheaper than buying the toxic alternatives. White vinegar, baking soda, lemon juice and olive oil are staples. There are some great eco-friendly concentrated detergents for dishwashers, washers and general cleaning that go a long way as well. The best glass cleaner out there: 1 C rubbing alcohol, 1 C water, 1 T vinegar.

I try to buy organic as much as possible, but being on a budget can make that difficult at times. This cheat sheet is a good rule of thumb for what to buy organic and what you can save money on, when the choice has to be made: http://lifehacker.com/5528836/organ
ic-food-buying-cheat-sheet.

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COACHKRYSTIE 5/4/2010 12:11PM

    U can do it!!

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RONIE11 5/4/2010 11:41AM

    I was one of the lucky ones who's mom taught me to cook. We were eating clean before anyone ever heard of clean eating. Basically my mom never opened a box or bought T.V. dinners. Everything was made from scratch and thats how I learned.
I can tell you that in todays world with time so short it is a bit harder to bake your own bread and cook from scratch 24/7. Second hand stores have food dehydrators and bread makers for little money.
I go to the store a few times a week, I buy fresh produce and very little meat. We are big fans of roasted veggies, or stir fry. I would suggest starting slow and seeing for your self what you can make yourself and what you can go without. There are books and web sites that go into detail of how to eat clean.
It sounds like you are on the right track and making great progress. As with anything if the desire to change and do this is strong enough you will be creative and make it work.
There are clean living teams. I would join a few to see which one works for you and address the needs you are looking for. You might look into "Green living" teams too.
I wish you the best of luck with this. You are an example we all should strive for.

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may goal(s)

Saturday, May 01, 2010

well, my april goals didn't go over well at all.

this month my main focus is going to be working out. in order to do this properly i need work on getting out of bed early enough. and stop pushing the freaking snooze button!

i know once i get into a good workout routine the rest will follow. happens everytime. i just need to stop losing my routine. when i'm really working out regularly and feeling good cause of it i drink more than enough water, i eat better in order to not ruin the calories i just burned, i don't have time to sabatog myself with alcohol and i gain tons of confidence. i just need to remember these things when i'm thinking sleep is better than not sleeping.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SANDRA0011 5/4/2010 12:31PM

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COACHKRYSTIE 5/4/2010 12:14PM

    You can do it! I'm cheering for you!!!!

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FIGHT2SURVIVE 5/1/2010 7:22PM

    I have always been a third shift person because I can't get up in the morning. Now we live in a retirement community where everything goes on during the day and it is SOOOOO hard for me to get up at 6 AM. So I go down for breakfast and then come up and go back to sleep but then I don't get anything done around here. I think who ever invented daylight really blew it. It should be night all the time - so peaceful and quiet - the best time to snuggle up with a good book and read till 3 AM. Hmmm ....... I wonder if that could be my problem?
Erin

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ROX2013 5/1/2010 6:33PM

    You can do it!! I have the same habit, and it still a hard one to not fall back to. I even tried moving the alarm clock across the room. We the guys in working on my kitchen during the day I am getting up early so I can get my treadmill in and Tai Chi in before they get here. Don't know if I will still get up at 6:30 am after they are done, but I have gotten in the habit of doing my exercise in the mornings now! emoticon

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