Thursday, June 03, 2010
my friends and i gather every week to walk and then drink wine when we are done. it's a fun way for us to chat and catch up, and there are no boys allowed. we finish off the evening with a bottle of wine. so i'm going to be tested tonight when the bottle is uncorked. question is, will i be strong enough to withstand or cave in rather than admitting my problem?
thank you all for the wonderful comments on my previous blog. i have been thinking a lot about your comments, hints, advice and similar stories. i'm really trying to get to the root of my problem and your insight has helped so much! especially knowing i'm not alone!
i've been thinking about a my drinking habits the past couple days. in my dream world i would love to be able to go to dinner and have one drink. have a glass of wine nightly with my dinner. meet some friends at the bar and share a pitcher of beer. go to happy hour and then go home at 7 when it's over and be fine with that. all of the above situations do happen to me, but i don't stop at that one drink, pitcher or drink special. i need more.
i tell myself one drink and that's it. but i always have more. i love feeling buzzed. and once i'm there, i don't want it to go away so i keep going. i don't see the point in drinking if i'm not going to get buzzed. take tonight for instance, the 3 or 4 of us will share a bottle of wine. not biggie, that's not much more than one glass for each person. we're chatting and having a good time then it's time to go home. i'm still feeling the very beginning effects of the wine. so when i get home i pop open a beer or make a rum & coke. then i finally have the good buzz i'm searching for. then i have another to keep it going. before i know it it's thursday night and i'm in no condition to drive (not that i would, i'm just using that as a drunkness-meter).
this same scenario works for going out to dinner, having dinner with a friend, having a drink at a bar or just hanging out at home. it's sad, but at least i can recognize it. now i just have to figure out what to do with the information.
as for my drunken rib injury: i'm starting to feel better! i read that you're not supposed to do any activity that will raise your heartrate and cause your lungs to put pressure on your ribs. if the rain holds out and our walk happens tonight i'll be able to tell just how much aerobic activity is too much. what really sucks is i was planning on starting jillian's 30 day shred for june to get toned for short season. don't see that happening till the ribs are better.