Tuesday, June 11, 2013
"Behavior is said to be self-sabotaging when it creates problems and interferes with long-standing goals. The most common self-sabotaging behaviors are procrastination, self-medication with drugs or alcohol, comfort eating in the face of weight concerns, and self-injury such as cutting. These acts may seem helpful in the moment, but ultimately undermine us, especially when we engage in them repeatedly."
for the longest time i thought i had a fear of success, which i'm sure i do, but today i realized i was constantly sabotaging myself. i'm sure the two go hand in hand. for instance, in may i was going to start eating better. i bought a bunch of healthy food, prepped stuff, etc. i ate awesome for 3.5 days. i felt wonderful! i was excited to see what the scale would say at the end of the month. heck, i was excited to see what the scale said after 3 days (-2 lbs)! so what happened on the other half of that day? well, i went out to dinner and ate way too much. then i drank way too much all weekend. those 2 lbs turned into half a pound. and my healthy eating goals went down the drain in the shower that followed the weigh in.
no booze june? yeah, got scared of what the scale was going to say monday morning so sunday turned into june the zero and out came the booze. i told myself it was the stress of a family situation i had to deal with sunday afternoon. a completely weak excuse to give up on a goal. no change in weight on the scale. i knew there could have been too. i got a lot of fitness mintues in and the results of the lack of booze calories would have made a difference. so here i am, back on track and hoping i learned my lesson. just have to survive a father's day bbq!
the worst thing i ever did was a few years ago when i was 5 lbs from my goal weight. i had lost 30 lbs and so close to my goal. i remember stepping on the scale & seeing that 150 and feeling so amazing. then i just stopped. before i knew it i had gained that 30 lbs plus another 50 or so.
why do i have this fear of success? why do i sabotage myself?
this website seems to have a lot of info. i'm hoping i can learn something from it and the other sites i found. i have all the tools i need to succeed, i know what i need to do to lose the weight. i have the motivation and willpower. but something in me stops me from doing what i know i need to do.
anyone else have this problem?
Thursday, June 06, 2013
so far no booze june has gone pretty well. i'm six days in and haven't wavered. sunday was the most difficult day. i like to drink sunday afternoon, and i really struggled to not drink this past sunday. saturday was easy. it was the first day, i was tired from friday and wasn't in the mood. it's been real nice all week and i love to sit on the deck with a beer and a book or magazine and drink in the evening. i was too busy tuesday for it to be an issue. last night i wasn't home, so it wasn't a big deal at all. tonight's gonna be tough though. not only is it super nice, but we're going golfing after work and then eating dinner at a mexican restaurant. so many challenges stuffed into one evening! i have faith though.
yesterday i realized i didn't have the urge to drink anymore. it was a gnawing feeling all week, but yesterday it was gone. i had no desire. i just hope that stays with me through tonight! can't wait to see what the scale says monday morning. this really is the only change i've made, so any weight lost will be alcohol related. but then it is tom...that could screw things up!
i like doing these challenges. giving up a vice for a set amount of time is fun and challenging for me. i like to test my willpower. i usually do something big for the new year. i haven't the past couple years, but for 2003 i challenged myself to drink at least 64 oz of water a day. i did this. it was quite easy after the first few days of constant bathroom breaks. i learned so much about how wonderful water is that year. weight comes off easier, skin is clear, energy...so many awesome things happen. i just realized today that i began that water journey 10 years ago! i never gave that habit up. sure, there have been days that weren't so great. weeks at a time even. there were times when i realized i wasn't drinking enough water lately. i'd look in the mirror and be all bloaty and look icky, so i'd start chugging. it's a habit that i'm happy i found and have worked at regularly though i have taken it for granted and haven't been as on top of it as i should be. i reached my goal weight that year (yes, i gained it all back plus some since then, but that's another story). i feel if i really concentrate again and make sure it's a daily thing i'll be on the right track to make my goal weight next year. i challenge myself!
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
i decided to start a one month challenge. no booze in june. simple, yet challenging. i need this! i drank so much over the weekend. i always do well staying on plan, working out, eating well, etc. then the weekend comes and i drink. and drink. no more! i'm not drinking in june to prove to myself that i can do this. i can save some money, still have fun and, what do you know, lose weight! i will prove to myself that drinking is the issue and hopefully show myself that in july and the following months i don't need or want the booze. or so much, anyway. one drink a day isn't the problem. it's when it's friday at that one drink turns into 3. that's darn near 400 calories!
i hope that you will join this challenge and learn, discover and have fun with me.
Thursday, March 07, 2013
in the past month or so i've read at least 2 articles about saying "don't" when you are trying to abstain from something. such as, chocolate. if you are trying to not eat chocolate and someone offers you some you say "i can't eat chocolate" or you are hungry and dying for chips and you tell yourself you can't eat carbs. you're just depriving yourself of something and then you want it even more. if you get yourself into the mindset of i 'don't' you will be more successful. tell yourself you don't eat carbs or turn something down with a "no thanks, i don't eat that" and you'll feel more confident and less deprived
i've taken this into consideration and have been very successful the last couple weeks. i've been attempting to not drink soda. i just tell myself i don't drink soda and bam, i find an alternative. my goal for march is no soda, so i'm hoping i can keep this going and keep remembering i don't drink soda. empowering!
Friday, March 01, 2013
i'm gonna keep it simple, but still challenging:
1. no soda
2. visit spark daily
i know #2 probably seems easy, but being that i haven't been here regularly since july it will be a challenge.
so far so good on both goals!
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