Thursday, December 11, 2014
i was on instagram yesterday and came across a post about someone (@graciesjourney) being passionate about working out and losing weight. that hit me hard. i have been thinking about it since.
i'm still struggling with the interested vs. committed idea. i'm committed to working out. i get up every morning at 4 and put in 30-60 minutes. it's not a struggle anymore. it's really nice, i love it! i can't say i'm passionate about it, but i can say i'm heading in that direction.
eating healthy has been a struggle since thanksgiving. i know i stressed myself out. i worried about every little calorie. i tracked everything! but i gained 3 lbs. did i forget to track something? am i tracking incorrectly? it's got me so freaked out now. i've come to enjoy tracking, but it's not working. for some reason. i think i'm going to take a break from tracking til after the holidays, or at least christmas, and then evaluate where i am. i'm good one day, screw up and then i throw in the towel. this is not good. i'll just work on being mindful of what i'm eating.
so where is my passion? why am i not passionate about healthy living? it's very important to me. but i mess up so easily. i cave in to treats and junk food. how do i become passionate about it?
then i got to thinking about what i'm passionate about. i used to be passionate about music, but then i couldn't afford to buy it. i was passionate about photography, but couldn't afford a new camera, film, etc. i was passionate about some tv shows, but they ended and i just don't have time to sit and watch tv. i guess that's a good thing. so there is nothing i'm passionate about?
this is just disturbing. there are two things i should be passionate about: a healthy lifestyle and money. i know i used to be passionate about being healthy. that was before i gained 100 pounds. i need to renew that passion. i feel i should be passionate about money so i'm able to get out of debt and have financial freedom.
where to start...
i know i need to focus on hobbies and different activities that will keep my mind off the debt and pounds to lose and what i should eat. but everything costs money and idk. i have no idea how to do anything and i tend to be a quitter. i have never actually finished a project. my current hobby is spending time on pinterest pinning hobbies i'd like to attempt. *sigh*
i guess i can add find my passion to my new year's goals.