Tuesday, August 02, 2011
This is what I will reflect on today:
Monday, August 01, 2011
Today is my day. It's my responsibility and right to determine what I am going to do with this day. I choose this new door and this new path. The door needs to be "trued ;" it's so hard to open. And the path is still a little rough to maneuver, not paved and smooth and easy to travel like my old path. I'll keep working at trueing the door and I'll take the new path and smooth it out a little more today. The way I figure, eventually it will be as smooth as the old way, but there will be a leprechaun and a pot of gold at the end. And, then the leprechaun and I will laugh and create mischief. Or else I'll be thin and have healthy, tested, tried, and true lifestyle habits. I'll take it either way.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
By my accounting, I've had a successful week. Here's what I accomplished:
1) lost 2.5 pounds of water weight by mid week (2 pounds was probably what I would have lost last week, but I'm claiming it for this week!)
2) lost a half pound after that
3) Completely cleared my office of things that I don't need or want.
4) Cleaned, straightened, tidied, and organized the rest of my office.
5) Then got a knot in my stomach when I saw all the clutter lying around the office suite. I left the clutter there. Not my problem and so not worth getting tied in a bunch about.
6) Finished a grueling 12-week, two 4-credit course sequence (that's 8 total credits) of Statistics and Experimental Design with two daring students (who performed admirably, by the way!) and another 3-credit course with one student.
7) Stayed inside my calorie range every day this week. And I got to eat a lot of food! (Bonus, 'cuz I like to eat!)
8) All kinds of strength training and cardio activity, ranging from elliptical and treadmill workouts, to gardening, to volunteering at campus clean up, to mowing lawn, to walking with my Artsy pal, to hauling boxes.
9) All of the other things I do just to stay occupied and not bored.
That is an example of a great week for me. Which brings me to this:
Since joining SP in late May, I have looked at this sign time and again. I can't say the sign made me change, but the words have definitely become part of my soul. Pre-May 28, I was terribly unhappy and experienced so many negative emotions from living inside my head instead of living it out loud, in living color. Once I started moving, living, experiencing, and, here's the key: stopped feeling so sorry for myself (who, me?), I was happier. Funny that it had nothing to do with having lost 50 -- or even 2 -- pounds. The way I felt had everything to do with what I was doing (nothing) and where I was doing it (in my head or while surfing the internet).
Anyway, I made up my mind to do something about the aches, pains, and general discomfort I was feeling. Once that decision was made, the rest fell into place for me. It seemed easier to commit this time because I've been on this lifestyle change journey before. Not all that long ago, really. The difference is that this time I am working much more intentionally on the emotional aspects of this journey. For example, a few weeks ago, I was lamenting a trip to Omaha and bad-for-me food and blah, blah, blah. My SP friends reminded me that I can make the decisions about what I put in my mouth when I am visiting relatives. That was an astounding revelation! LOL! It had never occurred to me that I could decide to do something different than I had done before. (Insert head thump here) At about the same time, I recognized my biggest binge-eating triggers and sought out ways to comfort myself differently. I also willed myself to work through those situations rather than avoiding them or numbing the discomfort by mindless grazing.
Without a doubt, the most important part of this experience has been the support and good will of people from all over the country; people I've never met, but who know what this change is like and who are doing it all with me. I can honestly say that I had much more fun during the past couple of months than I could have imagined and am truly touched every day when I log in to find a note, a post, a reason to chuckle, a comment. This experience with all of you had made me want to do better, be better, try harder.
THANKS EVERYONE! You are all genuine, inspiring, giving, supportive, awesome people. There's no one I'd rather be doing this with!
Saturday, July 30, 2011
I found this Einstein quote again this morning. I keep forgetting about it. By posting it here, I hope it will be more accessible and I will be more mindful about the sentiment.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
So, I didn't lose any weight last week. Yeah, right. I know I did, but there was no evidence of it on the scale. Big deal. My pants and bras and shirts are getting bigger. Obviously something's going on.
So, what have I done for the past 30 hours? I have ran to the bathroom, again and again and again, because I REALLY have to pee. A lot, in large amounts. In that time, I've lost 2.5 pounds of water. Holy moly! No complaints there! (But I sure felt badly on Sunday and Monday when my SP friends were posting about their successes and I had nothing new to report.) This has all made me think. It would be lovely if real weight loss was as easy as running to the bathroom to empty my bladder! LOL.
I have cleaned my house and now I am cleaning out my office... really cleaning out my office. Today I was successful in reducing 3 completely filled file cabinets to less than one! Apparently, I am a paper hoarder... I am so pleased with the progress! I feel so much less encumbered and freer and less anxious. I am letting go of a great deal of the past and a part of me that I didn't like all that much: tense, high strung, cranky, irritable. Of course, I can't blame the paper for my mood problems. For that, I blame my ovaries! Now that they're gone-baby-gone, I feel like a whole new person, like the worst part of me got removed from my body and my mind, and that I can function more efficiently and productively and more... sanely.
To be rid of so much that I don't use, look at, need, or even want helps me to think differently about life. I like thinking about what is really important to me rather than holding onto things just in case. Even in the case of the weight returning, I think that part of that was because I needed extra weight just in case... Just in case what? In case there's a famine? In case someone hurts me? Sheesh.
I am forging ahead with this new mindset and a neater environment 'cuz it feels great!
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