Friday, April 26, 2013
I hope everyone had a great week!
Today I weighted in and I'm down 4.2 pounds!! WooHoo!!! I'm super excited.
Okay so, if you'll indulge me for a minute, I'd like to tell you of some of the ups and downs I had this week.
Let's start with the positive-
I made my visual motivator. It was a lot of fun and I'm really proud of how it came out. I think it's really going to help motivate me.
***I actually got my first reward today. A pastry of my choosing. I choose a French Crawler from Dunkin' Donuts. It was awesome.****
If you haven't seen it, check out my previous blog entry.
I actually got out there and walked 6 miles this week. Let's see I walked 3 miles on Monday, 2 miles on Wednesday and 1 mile yesterday. I'm really proud because I set a goal for myself to walk 5 miles a week and this week I actually did it!!!
I also keep in my calorie range all week. Something new that I'm doing is Lean Cuisine meals. I am in no way, shape or form a cook. I'm slowly teaching myself the essentials but I'm strictly an amateur. Something as simple as buying 10-15 dollars worth of Lean Cuisine has taken the pressure off of cooking, and helped me stay within my calorie range.
I did try something new this week that I might not keep up. lol I got this great idea from a fellow Sparkteammate. It's actually a very good idea. She said that she made a pact with her sister that every time either one of them enters the kitchen they would do a series of exercises. So I thought I start slow. Just 10 knee raises and 10 wall pushups. OMG! I'm telling you I was DYING by the end of the day. I didn't know I went into the kitchen so often!!!! lol I think this idea was a little too much for me.
Okay so now comes the bad part of the week.
Yesterday my aunts came over for dinner. I was telling them about my weight loss of everything I was doing. When I told her that I weigh over 300 pounds. The way she looked at me... it was like I was a side show at the circus. Her jaw dropped, her eyes bugged out, and she kept saying "Wow, I didn't know you weighted so much, wow". It was at this very moment that I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that by this time next week everyone (I mean EVERYONE) in my family would know exactly how much I weigh.
I wanted to throw something. I felt exposed, embarrassed, ashamed. It was like I had just revealed some dirty little secret about myself.
I felt like the walls of my house were closing in. So I put a sweater and my gym shoes on and headed outside. I might had had to sit there and fake a smile during dinner, but nothing short of a million dollars was going to keep me in the house for a moment longer. On the way out, my sister who always knows when there is something wrong with me, tagged along. She questioned me for about 15 minutes but honestly I didn't want to talk about it. I wanted to forget it happened. So we walked and talked and went to the park to swing on the swings. lol By the time we got back I felt better.
It wasn't until that night when I was reflecting on all that happened that I realized something. I have NOTHING to be ashamed of. This weight and my journey to lose it, is part of who I am.
Yes, I'm obese.
Yes, I'm over 300 pounds.
Yes, I have a food problem.
Yes, I have to lose weight.
This is all true, and instead of being ashamed, I'm going to embrace it!!!
My name is Cristina and I weigh 308.8 pounds!