Friday, March 26, 2010
sorry i am abit late writting this blog but life seemed to get in the way.
after all the stress with waiting for aymans test results which was negative thanks be to god.i learned a valueale lessons for me.and that is that i can stop my emotional eating taking control of me and that i can and am the one in control of my eating not the otherway round.for the first time i planned and organised alternatives to eating and also a back up plan for if the first one didnīt work.i have done that before in the past but with out the back up plan.instead i would just kick myself for being so weak and giving in and do nothing more about it.this time instead of kicking i fargave my self and did damage limitation.here is what i did for thoes who donīt already no.
1#preperation and distraction.
i made sure i had lots of healthy snacks in for when i felt the need to eat.
made sure i had lots of diet pepsi in(i know it is not so healthy but hey it has fast no calories,i love the taste and it helps me feel alittle pampered which is what i really need in times of stress.)
had loads of hand cream so if i wanted the pepsi i had to weight awhile before the hand cream made my hands no more slippy and i could think about weather i really need the pepsi,
did exercise to distract me from food.
did house work(this was the biggy for me because lastely my mind has been so wrapped up in all that has been going on that it was letting the normal day to day things slide.)
concentrated on making things more enjoyable for the kids.(not that i donīt do things with them but sometimes mine and their lives seemed to just revolve round drīs appointment,therapy etc and seeing more what they canīt or are not allowed to do rather than what they can do.)
this was when i did emotionly eat i accepted itas a need when the above in nr,1 didnīt work.i also had a rule before i could eat anything unhealthy i had to eat too healthy things first.i didnīt say no you canīt have it.i said you can previded you ate two healthy things first.( the result of this.as i wasnīt forbidding it it didnīt take on unrealistic propotions like it would if it was banned.i.e i didnīt have to crave after it because it was allowed.also after eating the two healthy things first i was often not hungry so didnīt eat the planned unhealthy thing.when i did eat it it wasnīt as much as i would normally eat when emotionally eating.for two reasons,my stomach wasnīt emptyx because of the two healthy snacks first and it was nolonger forbidden so the gorging which goes hand in hand with eating/binging forbidden food was not there.)
the result of theese two stragagies is.
#i didnīt put on weight like normal but lost 0.5lb.ok it is not alot but still it is a loss not a gain.
#my house is clean
#i am more organised
#the kids had more time to be kids,because i am more organised i had more time and because i decided to put prioty on what they could do and not what they canīt do.
#my hands are in better conditoin with using the hand cream.
BUT MOST IMPORTANT:
#i know now i managed to controll my emotional eating.and if i can do it once i can do it again.IT NO LONGER HAS THE SAME POWER;THE SAME HOLD ON ME like it used to have.I AM NO LONGER AFRAID OF EMOTIONAL EATEN:
so like i said in the title.every cloud does have a silver lining.
thanks once again for reading this blog,thanks for reading and responding to all my other blogs.with out you it would not have been possible for me to be so focused and put my plan of action into force.once again you have all helped me more than you will ever know.you all rock.thank you ,thankyou,thak you.i can not say that enough.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
yesturday was at the lung specialist with the kids.the result was not good for both of them.
zakariya lung funtion has gone down again,she put him on atibiotics,doubled his dose of viani forte and also add acc with the pari boy.renewed the atem therapy.still has salbutomol and rectadelt for as and when needed.
ayman is also not good.given him more antibiotics,third lot in a row,stopped the pumicort but put him on budiair with the areo chamber ,2 times a day for the next three months.also put him on acc with pariboy 2 a day.salbutamol,atrovent and rectadelt as and when needed.also he also has to do atem/breathing therapy.but what concerns professer von meutius the most is the weight he has lost he has gone from being in the 90% area to being in the 25%area.also the fact that dispite all his treatments and antibiotics etc his lungs are still full of mucus.she now things it is something more than just the asthma and has tested him for muciverdousis/cysticfibrousis(i know the spelling is wrong)if we donīt hear from them by friday then he doesnīt have it and would have to start looking into other reasons for his heqlth deteriation,they only contact people if the test is positive.so as you can manage the waiting is effecting me as usual with my emotional eating but it is also making me exercise more just to keep busy so i hope they even themself out but i wouldnīt bet on it.anyway that is the stand as it is at the moment.keep fingers crossed that it is not muciverdousis/cystic fibrousis.thanks for listening to me but i just had to get it off my chest.to the people i am on challanges wuth,please bare with me i will try as soon as possible to get back on track.thanks.karen
Monday, March 08, 2010
ayman was really bad again yesturday and in the night(not that he has been really healthy for a long time)but he was a lot worse.so this morning was back to the dr and she has put him once again on what she calls the full programme.which means a lot of stress for me which usually means emotional eating.he is back on anti biotics,pulmicort,salbutamol and atrovent.(means 4-5 hours daily on the pariboy/nebuliser)which mean constant physical and emotional fights.even though ayman is only 15 months when he fights to stop me keeping the mask over his mouth and nose he is surprisingly strong,and the screaming that goes with it really gats to you.my husband canīt cope with it and tends to go out.either that or sayīs i have to stop the treatment which is also not really an option.i also have to start doing physio therapy with him again at least 4 times aday.,basically it is like hitting him on his back in a certain place with certain force and doing like a vibring massage on his chest at the front to help clear his lungs.when you think i have the other two children to deal with with there therapies as well and having the dr coming everyday to check on ayman you can imagine the stress.but it is better than ayman being in hospital i suppose though it still might come to that if his fever doesnīt come down.did i mention he had fever as well?and for the first time he has come in an all over rash,the dr sayīs it is through the fever.well the reason i am writting this blog when you think i have so little time is to explain why i wont be on the computer much in the next few dayīs,or responding to my friends feeds like i usually do or on the challange threads for awhile.hope someone who reads this will pass this on tho the challange threads as i donīt have ther time to go to them.also to try to make myself accountable and not to over eat or eat junk just to give me the feeling of having my much needed energy that i need.this time i am going to try my best not to over eat.i have just got below my 250lbs mark again and it took me so long last time after i over ate in this samer situation that i donīt want to go through that again.i have to try to be strong,to take care of what i eat.find the time to orginise and cook healthily,not just for me but for my whole family.some times the time to cook just isnīt there with all the medical needs.wish me luck that this time i can break my habbit of emotional eating which seems to go hand in hand with aymanīs full programme as the dr sayīs.thanks for taking the time to listen to my ramblings.
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