Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Some of my friends her on Sparkpeople are aware of the situation regarding my "heartsons" (children my now ex-husband had with our first "wife") and their abusers. Long story short, we went through an ugly custody battle during which we tried *desparately* to get someone - anyone - to believe us that there was abuse going on. We suspected sexual, we *knew* physical and emotional abuse was happening. We called Child Protective services numerous times when the children showed up with bruises or told us about things that had happened, but somehow their mother and the people she was living with were always able to pull the wool over the CPS people's eyes and nothing was ever done. Because of our living situation, when their mother finally agreed to mediation (after our lawyer basically destroyed her credibilty on the stand), their father jumped at the chance to get the courts out of things, and did what he could to make the best custody deal possible at the time (though I felt he didn't take it nearly far enough), and we did the best we could to help the kids cope when they were in OUR home. Eventually the younger of the two finally said the right thing to the right person in authority, the police were called, the crazy people left the boys' mother's home and The Monster went on the run. It took two years - we thought the police had dropped things, I mean even WE knew where dude was, wasn't hard to keep track of him via the interwebz - but in April of 2010 they finally arrested him.
The past 16 months have been a nightmare of continuances, postponed court dates and lack of sufficient information (at least in MY opinion) from the prosecutor's office on the progress of things. The Monster insisted on a jury trial, which meant my heartson was going to have to take the stand - which he WANTED to do (to see The Monster go away for a very long time), but the stress on him and the whole family has been tremendous (on TOP of all the expected emotional fall out and recovery from the abuse). FINALLY, today was the day. The jig was up, his lawyer couldn't play any more tricks, trial started at 9am.
Here is the e-mail I got from my ex, and what we are spreading far and wide (because The Monster was Pagan Clergy - we tried to get Don Lewis of the Correllian Tradition to listen to our concerns, if nothing else to start screening his clergy regarding such things - The Monster and his wife had lost custody of their 2 older children years ago due to abuse allegations - but they always blew us off).
"Expressing extreme cowardice in the face of a possible life sentence, Waco 'White Wolf' Tohausen entered a guilty plea for lesser charges and a reduced sentence. Having been charged with two counts of rape and four counts of child pornography, he pled guilty to gross sexual imposition and two counts of child pornography for a sentence of three years nine months plus ten year registry as a sexual offender and permanent record of DNA. No amount of time served could right the wrong he did, but the court's acceptance of the plea relieves the victim - my son who was five at the time of the offense -the need to testify and deal with protracted stress."
Here's the story as it was reported by our local news:
It's not NEARLY enough. Nothing will ever be enough. But now maybe, my heartsons can finally start to heal (yes, they're in counseling, and the school they go to has been extremely supportive in helping deal with their issues). And in the mean time, I know people who know some of the local prison guards - word has gone out. Here's hoping they make the next 3 years 9 months of The Monster's life particularly uncomfortable. It's a start.
(And sorry...so much for the "long story short")
Sunday, August 14, 2011
It took me 2 hours 25 minutes (which translates to an average 18 minute mile - not too shabby when I'm going for distance and not worrying all that much about speed), and my legs and feet are SORE right now...but yep, I did it!
Here's the route I took:
Of course, I WOULD start as the sky was clouding up...
I was SURE I was going to get wet (my facebook caption - 'cause yeah, I was sharing on FB as I went - for the first pic was "Good thing I'm not 'that kind of witch'!"), but honestly I got drizzled on for maybe a few seconds here and there as I was first getting started, but after about 15 minutes the clouds went the other way.
First major landmark - I hit this (which was almost the halfway point) in 53 minutes baybee!
Of course, a lot of that was down hill (and I got to go back UP those hills on the way home). When I turned right on Lawrence Road the hard part started - I got in a nice long downhill run...and then OMG the steepest hill I think I ever walked was in front of me. But I just kept powering up those hills, and running down the other side. I was getting low on water, but I figured once I hit Glenway before the Westbourne turn I'd find someplace I could at least buy some water from...NEVER expected what I *did* find though - a guy selling home grown corn and tomatoes out of his truck!
Ah, sweet juicy sustenance! Dude even filled my water bottle for me! :) At the Westbourne/Werk intersection, I broke out the honey stick I'd brought along ('cause Euphrates actually *does* know enough to bring some calories along for those long wogs) - OMG, it tasted like ambrosia! Of course, by then I was nearly out of water again (I'd been rationing myself until Glenway because I didn't expect to find anything along the residential part of the trek, apparently I REALLY needed to replenish by that point!), so when I hit Werk & Glenway I popped into the BP there and bought a nice shiny bottle of cold water. Between that and the snacks, I felt refreshed and ready to finish strong!
The "one mile to go!" point - this is right by the Healthplex (and part of my 5K to the gym takes me up Midway and right on Queen City, so it's a familiar "home stretch" point for me). By that point my legs were lead and my feet were aching, but I kept on pace and even ran a bit more down the last few down hill stretches.
I'm now stretched (yeah, there was NO forgetting to stretch after that, OMG my joints were complaining!), showered, and about to heat up leftovers from the awesome spark recipe I made Friday night - oh, did I forget to mention that? "Bison & Elbow Bake" (though I used Ronzoni Garden Delight rotinin noodles instead of elbows - more veggie power) - this huge thing makes SIX servings, can you believe that? And it's REALLY tasty! And filling!
Here's the link if you want to try it - it turned out *really* good!
So yeah, not a bad ending for a pretty stellar weekend.
Friday, August 12, 2011
...that so many people have issues with emotional eating?
(The above is an actual sign that I actually pass every time I wog my 5K To The Gym route, not to mention any time I have to go to the grocery store...sighs)
Friday, August 12, 2011
Having gotten up at 7am yesterday, I had the opportunity (if I chose to take it) to actually go to yoga at the gym, and then do Zumba since it was a cross-training (aka no walking/running) day. I ended up opting out of the yoga for a couple of reasons (including I looked up at the clock after internetting for a bit and realized I'd never make it in time), but I checked the stack of dusty exercise DVDs I've collected over the past year and yup, I was right, I DID buy that Bob Harper/Biggest Loser Yoga one I'd remembered seeing at Record Exchange - sweet! At which point I donned the work out clothes and headed out to Zumba for the first time in several months.
It was a blast, as always, but the thing that really struck me? Even after not doing Zumba for several months (I explained to the instructor I'd been awol focusing on the running lately, SHE was super impressed I'm doing the Warrior Dash and half marathon, as she was thinking about doing the Mudathalon happening this weekend locally but chickened out), it felt EASY. I mean, I definitely broke a good sweat so I got some good cardio in, but I didn't feel overwhelmed or out of breath or like I was gonna die once. Not ONCE! Even though I haven't done it in ages! Which tells me my cardio endurance is a LOT better than it used to be, just in general! W00T! (I also kept up pretty well with some fairly complicated new routines I hadn't done before - bonus!)
And when I got home, I popped Bob into the DVD player and got my yoga on. I only did about 15 minutes (the full warm up, and about half the actual level 1 work out) before the muscles gave out. I spent the rest of the level 1 work out watching (to get a feel of where it was going, I'm confident I can do the whole thing next time) and then did the cool down stretching at the end. Well that and trying to convince our baby cat NOT to eat my yoga mat (what is up with that? She used to nibble on the one I keep at work now too. Weirdo).
I did the yoga (and will do it again either today or tomorrow) solely to fulfill a challenge requirement (to do 2 yoga routines this week), but I'm thinking now that I've gotten past the first step and actually *tried* it, I need to add it in as a regular work out feature consistently. I've noticed in the past few weeks that my joints - particularly my hip joints - are feeling REALLY tight due to all the running (I suspect), so anything that stretches things out and increases flexibility is a good thing. Plus I actually kinda liked it - Bob really focuses on feeling *strong*, and the Warrior 1 and Warrior 2 poses feature prominently in the level 1 work out - there's a feeling of power to those poses I really liked.
Today? Today I have 4 miles to do for the half marathon training, and ST to do as well. As beautiful as it is out there, I expect the wogging will happen outside - I'll do my 5K to the gym, do my ST at the gym and then wog the mile home. Then it's cleaning day - we're hopefully doing "game day" with the RHPO3+1 on Saturday, though no decision yet as to whether it will be at our place or at their dad's, but just in case they're coming here I want to get the cat hair under control for my allergic kids. Plus with shiny new blinds in the living room (did I happen to mention that after the night from hell at work Monday night, 'Yote came home Tuesday morning to find the vertical blinds on the sliding glass door had fallen out of the wall due to water damange? Yeah, it was a "fun" day), everything else looks dingy and my mother is poking at the back of my brain to do something about that. (They really never leave you, no matter how long they've been in the ground...my mother nags me *constantly* - note, not complaining, not really. LOL)
Make it a Sparkly day, Spark Friends!
Tuesday, August 09, 2011
I've spent most of tonight looking at nurse's aid training course information and job listings. There is a class I could take that starts the week after the handfasting (I'm off anyway) and goes for 2 weeks...it's only $699 which I *ought* to be able to come with by then. Of course, there are some places (like nursing homes) that offer to train you for the STNA for free, which is why I was looking at job listings (didn't really find anything though).
Can you tell I'm pretty much at the end of my tolerance with this job?
After last week (which was beyond awful), things seemed to be going better so far this week... Of course, since my first two nights were weekend nights, it took until Monday during the day for stupid e-mails to start flowing again. I hadn't been here 15 minutes tonight before I was ready to tear someone's throat out - I literally had to go outside and pace the parking lot for about 20 minutes before I was in any shape to function. I've got an e-mail currently sitting in my "drafts" that I'm waiting to send until I calm down (I've learned at least THAT much over the years - never send e-mail that you've written when angry or emotional until you calm down). I DID do the right thing and sent a few queries about stuff I normally coordinate (it's THAT stuff other people are sticking their noses into), even though I REALLY didn't want to (okay, you think you can do my job so much better, YOU figure this sh*t out).
Right now I'm just tired, fed up, cranky, and I want to go home and never come back.
SO, let's list a few NSVs (non-scale victories) that happened in the past week to cheer us up, shall we?
* I wore my Columbus Marathon "In Training" shirt to the gym for the first time last week, and wow. Amazing what happens when you actually wear something that fits! (I haven't bought any new work out clothes in a while, and I ordered an XL instead of a 2XL - yay!) FIRST one of the receptionists said to me as I was swiping my membership card "You're just shriveling away! You look great!" - which was REALLY cool because I don't think she's ever actually said anything to me before. Then I got upstairs and started on the treadmill, and my trainer buddy came over and said "I had to double-check to see who the new person was! You're looking great, keep it up!" And THEN one of the personal trainers - who I've never had a real conversation with - came over and asked about the marathon, and I told her I was only doing the half (they sent me the "full shirt" that has 26.2 on the back...I kind of feel guilty wearing it, but they never got back to me about sending it back for a replacement and it was the only thing clean at the time), and SHE told me how great I was doing too! I'll tell you, I was FLOATING when I left the gym that day.
* I did seven miles on Saturday. That just stands all by itself as a "wow, I'm really doing this!" moment.
* Yesterday I had two separate co-workers remark at how skinny (they really used that word!) I was getting.
It REALLY does make an amazing difference when people notice your accomplishments, ya know? Talk about boosting the motivation factor!
So yeah. Life is good. I rawk. I'm doing amazing things. So what if work doesn't appreciate me. I'm AWESOME. If they can't see that, they don't deserve me. I seriously think it may be time to break up.
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