Sunday, January 26, 2014
So, I'm in week 4 of Nursing 102 - which means I've mostly made it through "Boot Camp" (they warned us in Nursing 101 that the first 3 weeks were the make-or-break period). And wow, they weren't kidding - I can't remember ever living with such sustained astronomical stress levels. The first week or so, the mate had to put me back together on nearly a daily basis as I panicked over assignments and impending skills assessments (none of which was helped by multiple classes being cancelled due to weather but still being expected to do the work and know the material on our own). I went through daily periods of "I don't know if I can do this!" (and tentatively planning alternate educational pathways should I fall flat on my face).
But I'm still here. I passed my first "skills demonstration test" without throwing up on the instructor's shoes (I was that freaked out and terrified, it was a distinct possibility). I've been through my first test in lab (which I didn't do nearly as well on as I'd expected - BUT I didn't melt down over it, and I think I have a better study plan in place going forward). We have our first test in lecture tomorrow (a test for which we have to rely on our reading, the power points they gave us, and the miniscule amount of notes we managed to take in the one and only lecture period we've actually had so far, thanks to the weather) - and I'm feeling fairly prepared. And this week, we will step foot onto our actual clinical sites (for me, Drake Hospital) for the first time.
In the meantime, life now totally revolves around school and work (because against advice, I'm still working full time - next semester I know I'll have to pull back, but until I have a plan to replace the insurance I'll lose when I shift to part time status, I really have no choice, as I HAVE to have insurance to attend clinicals). I'm making food that makes leftovers, because the mate and I just don't have any time for regular meals (he can't eat when he first gets up, and I shouldn't eat a huge meal as the last act of the day), so I'm making stuff with leftovers that are easy to heat up, stuff he can prep himself, and I'm mostly surviving on comfort foods myself.
And I'm up to 225.5 lbs as of this morning.
NONE of my scrub pants fit (even the new ones I just got for clinicals are already tighter than when I'd tried stuff on and ordered them). I keep a pair of white pants (that I don't normally wear because of ink stains on the pocket) in my locker at work as emergency back up, in case I actually split my pants (hasn't happened yet, but it's a distinct possibility at any moment). I've been in denial, trying to make it work because I keep telling myself I can't afford new ones (but the real reason has more to do with not wanting to actually buy anything in a larger size, I've already gone up to buying XL instead of the L I bought when I first did my STNA training, right after the Flying Pig when I was at my smallest).
This can't continue.
As far as exercise, I'm still getting a handle on things regarding the schedule and trying to add anything else in threatens to topple the tentative balance I have going...so I'm not going to stress about it. It may come in a few more weeks, once I've started the real clinical schedule (on campus clinicals are at a different time than when we'll be at Drake). Or it may not come until I go part time next semester. I have to give myself a little slack there.
But...I can get a better handle on food NOW, and I think I'm past the total spazzed out stress-case point, to where I think maybe I can be a little more reasonable than I've been so far.
SO, today I spun the wheel. And, I'm going to start tracking again. January 1st was far too ambitious, not having ANY idea how life was going to change once the semester started. But now that I'm in the thick of it, I can start paying attention a little better.
I have to.
If I have a stroke or a heart attack at this point, none of my plans are going to work out anyway, right? If I'm not taking care of myself, I can't take care of anybody else effectively.
So...things have to change.
I can do this.
Monday, June 10, 2013
I've got a far longer blog percolating regarding my impetus to start working on being healthy again, and news of various sorts...but THIS blog is due for points within the next 20 minutes. So you'll have to wait for the rest. :)
For this round (BLC22) my goal is to get back in ONEderland again. Since I started back to sparking a few weeks ago, I've gone from 216 to 209, which makes me supremely happy. My basic goal is to lose 10 lbs in the next 12 weeks - which should be totally doable.
How am I going to get there?
Tracking like crazy and making good food choices - and I was doing REALLY well on that too, until this weekend took a detour to Hoffbrau House (I had a date and he picked the restaurant...I really did want to try and find something healthy, honest, and actually went to their website before heading out to his place in hopes of finding a nutrition counter, and after glancing down the menu for about a minute realized I was in serious trouble, and I'd better just take it as a "planned cheat" day and make up for it later, 'cause there was nothing that didn't involve crazy rich sauces, and fried stuff...and OMG it was so good). It's been tough to get back to it since, and I've had a couple of slip ups at the vending machine at work, but I'm working on it.
Hitting the gym at school every Monday, Wednesday and Friday (since I'm done with class at 9:50 AM, and the gym opens at 10:00 AM - I seriously have no excuse). Last week was the first time in MONTHS that I actually hit my 90 fitness minutes per week goal, and I'm well on my way for this week too. So on THAT score, I'm doing great!
Doing the various challenges on my team - I'm a "Midnight Mustang" this round, and it seems to be a GREAT bunch of people (with a few familiar faces from my former wolf den), and they have a good schedule set up for various things. Unfortunately it's going to be hard to get many "Last Chance Workout" minutes on Tuesdays since my later class is on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and there's not a lot of time between school and work on those days. But I can at LEAST do the 100 Pushups Challenge I've been talking about doing for months - that'll be something. I can do our TNT (tighten and tone - basically strength training focused) on Wednesdays, and then the weekend challenges (which this blog is part of this week). Hopefully the need to rack up points for my team will help keep me moving.
Okay...here are a couple of before pictures, so I've got them for posterity (took these earlier in the week):
Oh, and for a recent more *flattering* pic, here is one that my date (aka Robert Downey Junior Junior - seriously, dude is a dead ringer) took of me at the evil (OMG it was SO GOOD) Hoffbrau House:
What, you don't believe me? Here ya go - the picture I took at Hoffbrau House of Robert Downey Junior Junior (points if you get what comedy album that's a reference to):
And the two of us together on the observation deck at the top of the Carew Tower:
Okay, more profundity later - right now I've got a date with my mate, the DVR, and The Voice.
Sunday, May 05, 2013
Unfortunately, nobody showed else up for the 12:30 PM photo op at the booth, but we got to meet SHEENADEE and CALIDREAMER76 anyway.
Also got a neat reaction to the the Sparkpeople t-shirt:
Random Stranger - "Oh, I love your shirt! I love Sparkpeople!"
Me - "They're here this year, the booth is right up there" (points)
Random Stranger - "Really?! Oh AWESOME!"
So look at that, I'm still spreading the Spark, even if I'm mostly reduced to smoldering embers these days.
Not especially helpful.
Cheering on the stragglers when we headed up to the Finish Line afterwards? Seeing some of our fellow Bob Roncker's team mates from last year, who recognized us as we started cheering, squealed and came by and gave us hi-fives? Same with some of the coaches from last year - called us by name as they were escorting in this years walkers? Seeing weary faces turn to smiles as we cheered them on, with the bus bearing down on their heels?
Totally worth it.
Best. Marathon. Outfit. EVAR!
We stayed (in the rain) until the last person came in with the bus behind them (see pictures below), at 2:20 PM.
The REAL winners are those that finished, despite all the odds against them.
They are ALL heroes!
Friday, April 26, 2013
I'm having a very hard time with this.
I don't know if I can even begin to write about it.
There are something like 40 Sparkpeople participating this year - the JASR crew did themselves proud. Coach Nancy spearheaded an effort to have some folks volunteer at a water station. There is a dinner planned for Saturday night (and more - I just realized I've not been getting the notifications from the facebook group so I've missed a lot of the planning, trying to get caught up and get details).
And breaking news from one of the local organizers - "SparkPeople is sponsoring a booth Sunday May 5 at the Flying Pig Marathon Post Race Party at Yeatman’s Cove. I've posted this file with a layout of Yeatman's Cove and the booth locations. SparkPeople is at booth #12. I will be setting a meeting time for all of us to converge on the booth. I thought that might be a good spot for a group picture, plus you can meet some other Spark employees there. Let me know if you have questions. For now, I just thought it was fun that Spark decided to have a booth and wanted to share that info."
And I'm sitting here in tears, wishing somebody - ANYBODY - had given a damn last year. I tried so *fricken* hard...
As it turns out, I have plans on Friday night that I swapped work shifts for, which means I'm working Saturday - because I totally spazzed it was Flying Pig weekend. I suspect I blocked it out since I couldn't afford to register and thus haven't trained, AND since I'm having such a hard time wanting to be enthusiastic about all the spark love and not taking it personally. And that's hard to admit.
But, I WILL be at that booth, dammit. And if there's any kind of meet up that I can squeeze into the weekend, I'll be there. And here's hoping some of the Sparkiness will rub off and I'll find my own spark again. I've been floundering - it's been a tough semester and I'm just coming up for air, and am seriously trying to get back into the swing of healthy living. So it's a good time for it.
But I gotta tell ya...bittersweet doesn't even *begin* to touch the emotional rollercoaster I'm dealing with here. Not even a little bit.
Get An Email Alert Each Time EUPHRATES Posts