Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Today is day one for my team challenge of blogging.
I can't say blogging is hard for me because it isn't. I like being able to get it all out at the end of a good or bad day.
Today hasn't been great but it hasn't been awful either.
I have eaten well, worked out 2x and am in an overall good mood. I can't wait to go home at 4:30 (but to an empty house today...never had that happen before!LOL).
My birthday was a week ago and not much has changed in the past year except my weight LOSS then my weight GAIN. The loss of my sister and before that her declining health but me in a bad place. I made bad choices, but at the time I didn't feel I had any other choices to make. Ice cream or an apple??? You choose after such a loss. I chose comfort. Now I am paying for that choice.
Weight is so much harder to get off! We all know that! I kick myself for choosing what I chose in my time of desperation.
But, I have managed to get back on track with a lot of hard work and friends that have my back when I need them.
I am in my 2nd week of WW. I lost 2.6lbs the first week! Which is GREAT, but I was hoping for 5! LOL! Tomorrow is weigh day #2. I have done good all week. I did break into my bonus 35 for a night at the beach. I just hope that won't ruin me! I did track it all in my tracker, so I did make myself accountable for it. Which normally, I would just skip that day and start fresh the next day. But I didn't, I tracked it all right down to the half a piece of fried dough. So I hope tomorrow, to be down another 2lbs. But I will take anything over 1lb. Anything less, and I think I would be devastated! I have been wkg so hard, it has to show on the scale. NO PLATEAUS YET FOR ME!
Next week will be a ROUGH one for me. On the 28th, it would have been my sister's 31st birthday. I had a hard enough time on my bday. Just not having her there to spend it with me tore me apart. I just hope I will get through the day. I think of my sister all the time. I have her picture up at my desk. I miss her very much. I look at the phone to call, think of things we would have done together, seeing her son grow up...She was so young, only 30 years old. My life has changed a GREAT deal since her passing.
I used to talk to her about concerts I would be going to (Blink 182 on the 6th) or how the little theater in my town is screening Jaws on Monday night (my FAVE movie). She would have gone with me to both. There is a loss in my heart now. I am glad we had so many fun memories.
I will be in a dark place on Tuesday. I can already feel it. I have decided to take off from work, which is what I should have done on my bday. I cried half the day! So instead I will stay home and be with my kids. Maybe I will get lucky and it won't rain here in MA! It has felt like Spring since summer started!
Anyway, I am trying to stay positive and look forward to what is ahead for me.
I am just thankful that I have another day ahead of me, because so many out there don't.