Monday, April 23, 2012
Well, my Ma will be here on Wednesday. She's taking the train over from Wisconsin and when I talked to her last night she was so excited I couldn't even bring her back to a normal level. I'm happy she's excited and I do think we'll have a good time. This is her 3rd time here and we have a lot of shopping and socializing planned. I still have to get some cleaning done and all that before she gets here so the next couple days are going to be hectic!
I already kinda got mad at her because she keeps taking these jabs at my weight. When I was home last time she pretty well cornered me and said I'm 'wasting my life' if I don't get weight loss surgery. This visit she's talking about all the salads we're going to eat and the walks we can take. It drives me crazy and makes me feel insecure around her. It never used to be like that. (It also kinda makes me want to rebel now that I think about it).
I kinda feel like well, when I was young she never did or said anything about my weight. (I was always bigger than the average bear). I was never enrolled in sports or any extracurriculars for that matter. We never cooked a healthy meal together, went grocery shopping, ate as a family or went on any 'physically active vacations'. So, now I feel like its up to me and she doesn't have a say. (I also think this is why incorporating healthy eating and physical activity is so out of the normal realm for me--but I'm getting there).
Yea, I get your concerned. Yea, I know you love me but lay off! My life, my body, my struggle. She compares it with her smoking. 'If I quit you can lose weight'. I pretty well told her when I was home no, in fact, quitting smoking is not like losing weight. You don't need to smoke to live. Every meal all the time I think about losing weight. Obsess even (which is likely part of my problem). I know she's trying to be helpful but I end up resenting it and I don't even want to eat a meal with her anymore. I haven't necessarily told her all this because I don't want to hurt her feelings as I know she has my best interest at heart. I'm just hoping while she's here everything goes smoothly.
Get An Email Alert Each Time ERNO8151 Posts