Thursday, April 04, 2013
Stress has become a big part of my life recently. I know that I have to handle it better because it does not do me any benefits and really just causes more harm than good. Life is hard for everyone and the key is learning how to deal with it - without food!
So back in July my family and I moved from Atlanta to Ft. Lauderdale. We moved in with my In-laws which was only supposed to be for a month. Well it is now April and we are still here with my In-laws - don't get me wrong I am extremely grateful for all of their help, and believe me it is not from our lack of trying. We have put multiple offers on houses but we have lost all the bids so far! The current one we went $20k above asking and we are still waiting to hear- so much for a buyers market!
My oldest daughter is 10 and the move was harder on her than we had expected since she was so excited to move here. It has been beyond a challenge, she has had severe anxiety at school, failing her classes, not making friends. We are on her second therapist and there seems to be a light at the end of the tunnel. Except she has learned to take her frustrations out on me and I cannot get a handle on the disrespectful attitude.
My other stressor is my job. To most it would seem that I may never be happy in my job (my husband). I like to feel challenged, I work for an amazing company (always on forbes top 100 to work for), I get to work from home, and it is in my field of compliance. The problem is I left my previous job where I was able to have my hands in everything, constantly learning and growing. Now I feel like I'm on an assembly line just adding a bolt to the final project, I am losing my relevance to my trade. I am considering a job that would be a 3 hour round trip daily commute for a much needed increase in responsibility.
Now for the main stressor that will make the last one seem like I'm being irresponsible. My four year old daughter got sick at the beginning of March, just all of a sudden I was getting her ready for school and she started screaming that her head hurt and she was cold and throwing up (my daughter has an extremely high tolerance for pain - she has had 5 surgeries and is a trooper). Long story short she had a kidney infection and thank God her Ped sent us to the hospital because her left kidney was blocked and severely enlarged. A week later and a surgery later to place a temporary stent in we went home. Last Monday was supposed to be our DR appt to schedule surgery on her kidneys when the day before she got another infection, back to the hospital with a bacteria that is highly resistant to antibiotics, they had to replace the existing stent and spend another week in the hospital. To say that my daughter is strong is a severe understatement. She is amazing, she doesn't cry to get blood taken, she gave herself the anesthesia into her IV ! Any ways she has major surgery scheduled for the 24th, she is handling it great and I am eating uncontrolably.
Right now I'm just in a funk, wishing we never moved from my perfect house, but yet so grateful that I had family here to help us. Wishing I could read my daughters mind and get a respectful relationship back before teen years. Knowing I should stay with this job, but hating every minute of it. Worrying about my little one and not being able to do anything to help her.
This was my pity party and now I have to stop and look at the circumstances and take the bad with the good. You can't change what you are dealt but the way you handle it is what defines your life and I need to redefine my life because no one can do that but me.
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
I have been back on the wagon again for 4 weeks. I didn't want to get back on Spark unless i felt like I could stick with it ( I know that that sounds silly but I wanted to be in the right mindframe again).
So a lot has changed we have moved from Atlanta to Ft. Lauderdale and I am working from home (which has not been so good for me on the scale). It has been hard I miss my friends who were like my family, since we didn't have any family near us, I miss my kids school and I miss my home. The good part is that we moved to be close to my in laws because my kids need some extra family support. The other positive is that my FIL wants to lose weight too so we joined a gym together and got a trainer!
So I am feeling great, I've taken most processed foods out of my diet and eating 5 times a day small meals with high protein and veggies. I have been going to the gym 6 days a week for an hour a day and since I work from home and the gym is 1.5 miles away I have no excuses.
I'm running again, I ran 3.1 miles the other day and would love to start training for a 10k. I don't have the running bug again yet (when you are frustrated with something and all you want to do is go run right then) but I'm hoping it will come back soon.
I feel more in control of my life and less like I'm running around just trying to stay a float and eating whatever was easiest. It may be because my kids are getting a little older or that we have babysitters now that allow me to go grocery shopping without the kids, or go to the gym, either way I feel good.
So that's it, just wanted to say it to myself that I'm back and I have no excuses, because I feel best when I take care of myself.
Saturday, July 09, 2011
Our family vacation to NY to visit family was cursed from the start! We never do anything easy because my husband is crazy!!
We drove from Atlanta to Fort Lauderdale on Friday 7/1 , arrived around 8pm and met up with his parents for dinner. The next morning we decided to visit some of his family members from NY visiting disney world so we drove the 2 hours to get there stayed there until 12am got home at 2am to have to get up by 4:30 to get a flight to NY. We got there and my 2 year old was exhausted!! Bad weather add an hour to our flight because they took a different route to bypass the weather ( I am all for safety! Do what you gotta do to get me there alive!!)
So we arrive at JFK luggage machine not working, get into the car and the traffic was horrible, we were in the care for 3.5 hours so we could make it to my uncles 60 birthday party. Rained all day, fireworks cancelled. 4th of July had no fireworks either :-(
So then it gets bad ( I know I'm just complaining above but everything added up has me ready for a mental breakdown) on Wednesday my mother was making my husband all of his favorite foods (awesome mom) and my daughters were in the pool. Well the little one( my 2yr old) came running in up to my mom at the same time she was removing a huge pot of boiling potatoes, and she spilled it on my daughters head. My poor baby! it was a horrible experience and I kept it together putting water on her head and rushing her to the emergency room. She is such a trooper and so brave (probably from her 5 other surgeries) she just whimpered a little and let them do what they had to do. I told them that it fell on her scalp too but they said it was fine just her left forehead and cheek. Really bad burn, it hurts to look at her. So no sun, no water, and a visit to the plastic surgeon as soon as we get home.
well the next day I gave her a shower ( not allowed to get her face wet) and was washing her hair and she said ouch! so I felt a lump, her scalp is all blistered!!! and I just got it wet!!! so we put medicine on that too. This is when I didn't stay calm anymore...this is the start of my breakdown. Why didn't they look!! why didn't they clear away the hair from the forehead that now has it stuck on!! why did they not clean the wound!! sick to my stomach!! my parents said that we needed to get out of the house so after Kenzie went to bed we went a mile from the house for dinner while my brothers listened for her at home.
Well on the mile that it took to get to the restaurant my parents in the car in front and my husband driving their other car behind them we hit a deer! REALLY!! So after the police came and a bumper and headlights are picked up we eat dinner at 10pm and get home.
So finally time to get our flight back to florida and we left four hours before the flight and still hit traffic and bad weather (again) rushing because we are now cutting it extremely close!! We get there (btw we have our 8yr, 2yr, and their 7yr cousin) and the flight is delayed! First for 45min, ok I can handle that (in all reality I would rather be delayed than fly in weather that we shouldn't be flying in) so 6 is now 6:45, than 7:45, 8pm, 8:30, 9pm 9:45, 10:45, 11:45 and finally midnight. The kids are crazy all over the airport, and its packed because all the other flights were cancelled. We were waiting for our plane from Pennsylvania, our pilot from Virginia and crew from somewhere else! My daughter is probably getting every germ imaginable because they told us not to cover the burns because that could cause more infection. we got to the inlaws by 3am ( I am not even going to talk about the turbulence, the worst, I prayed the whole 3 hours)
Now my daughter wants to go to the beach and she isn't allowed in the sun or in the water. Tomorrow we will drive home to Atlanta and to the doctors Monday morning.
Sorry had to vent, I know it sounds like I'm complaining but I'm about to explode!! My child is so active that I have ran after her all day long to make sure she doesn't hit herself (which she did on the plane and bled but there was nothing we could do!)
Wednesday, March 09, 2011
Today has been very difficult for me! One of my best friends was let go from our company today
He is not only a very good friend but he is my motivator in my venture to get healthy, we started this together and he is the one that gives me advice, listens to my triumphs and my defeats, he doesn't judge just encourages. He's the controller of finance so he gives me just good life advice!!
He got me motivated to run my first 5k and we often discuss what other goals we can make for ourselves to push ourselves to the next level.
anyways this is going to be an adjustment and a rock in my road but I will continue on and we will still encourage each other guess we will just have to have more family get togethers
To say that today was a hard day is an understatement!
Just needed to vent thanks for listening!!
Get An Email Alert Each Time ERINLOEWY Posts