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Run So I Can Eat

Sunday, October 02, 2011

That is the saying that is on one of my Bondi Bands I wear while running some races (they wick away sweat on your forehead).

I was on a nice long walk with my daughter this morning and was just looking at the beautiful fall foliage along the way, not really thinking about anything, when this saying popped in my head. I thought about what it really meant to me. Yes, it's funny, a bit of a joke, but last summer/fall when I was training for my half marathon, the training really afforded me to eat more than normal to lose weight since I was burning so many calories with those runs. I had some runs where I burned 1600 calories for crying out loud!

And that was fine during that period of time because I was seriously training hard. But then the half marathon was over. No biggie, because then I started training for the full marathon in May. Yeah, until I injured myself by tearing my hip flexor in early March. But I didn't stop the eating. I stopped training completely. I didn't pick up on the fact that just because I couldn't run didn't mean I couldn't do other things, like walk (albeit slower) and doing ST. I completely stopped working out really for almost a month.

This summer was the toughest for me to maintain my weight, and that was because I didn't stop eating as though I was training for something. And I wasn't training for anything!

Sure, I lost that last 10 pounds because I trained hard. But I can lose this weight again by taking it easy, and making sure I eat the proper foods, and the proper amount of it. I don't need to work out 2 hours a day. Sure, if I feel like I really want to and have the time set aside, I will, but I won't pressure myself. As long as I walk at least 30 minutes and work out 30 minutes otherwise, I will be happy with that.

On another happy note, I am down another 4 ounces this morning. Yeah, that's small, but that's in a day, and I know that I shouldn't weigh myself every morning, but I need that accountability right now. I need to know where I stand and what causes fluctuations (like I know I would have been down a little bit more if I didn't have chili for dinner).

I am super pumped, and haven't had a frown on my face for a few days now and that is a win for me! I do have a huge test of my determination this coming up Friday and Saturday as it is girls weekend up in the Lake of the Woods (my mom, daughter, me, my grandma, and 2 of my aunts). This means a lot of baked goods...I plan on having a nice long leisurely run on Saturday morning as I had previously been training to run the half marathon race that I had run a year ago. I'll plan ahead to make sure there are plenty of healthy options and keep in mind that what I eat in private will show up in public, and that just because it is there, does nto mean I need to eat it. And if offends anyone that I am eating healthy, so what. This journey is mine, and I need to put me and my health first.

I guess the point of this blog is....I need to eat for the fuel, and not make food the priority in my life. There is so much more to enjoy!!!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KANSASROSE67 10/3/2011 6:25PM

    I think your girls weekend sounds wonderful! Be healthy, but don't spend the weekend worrying too much about food...just enjoy this chance to spend the time with your loved ones. I miss my mom and my grandma so much and would give anything to be able to have a weekend like that!

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JNK125 10/2/2011 10:50PM

    LOVE your blog & admire you for being able to notice your shortcoming and continue to tred in a positive direction on your journey. I'm going to use your 'food for fuel, not comfort' saying to motivate myself against emotional eating- which is something I've always struggled with!

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MELLABELLAS 10/2/2011 7:31PM

    Hey girl I know you will rock that trip! You have your head in the right place. I'm sorry you got injured. that sounds like a very painful one, too. Are you healed up now? Well anyways I know that gaining weight sucks but sometimes life gets in the way, ya know? You are back on track and that's what matters.

You and me are gonna rock October!

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MICHSTATE 10/2/2011 12:32PM

    Ha! I just went for a 9 mile jog this AM and decided (while I was running) that I am going to ask myself "is this fuel" when I am eating from now on!!!! I may choose some treats that aren't "fuel", but 90% of what I eat should be fuel!!!!!

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LINDAKAY228 10/2/2011 12:13PM

    Great blog! I've had a hard time lately with my food intake especially toward evening and need to remember this.

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NOSTOPPINMENOW 10/2/2011 11:40AM

    Great Blog! I have "Food is Fuel, Not Comfort", on my fridge!

Keep up the GREAT work!

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From a feeling of Failure to a new Beginning.

Saturday, October 01, 2011

Here's the lowdown on what I think has happened that led me to a 2-3 week long "binge" that had my weight going from 162 to 175.

I hit my Weight Watchers "goal" weight around January/February-ish (I can't remember right now and I will have to look it up for sure later) of 160 pounds. 101 pounds lost (a total of 126 pounds lost as I had lost 25 before joining up with WW). Now, I had the freedom of maintaining or losing more weight. It was a new realm for me. All of a sudden I was "done" if I wanted to be. And I did a great job of maintaining my weight until 1 month ago.

But, when I look at my changes over those months, I realize that I started letting things go. I stopped really putting my health first. I stopped making ME a priority. I started letting people talk me into eating things, into skipping running/working out.

But most of all, I rationalized it. I excused myself each and every time. I stopped looking at myself in the mirror and seeing what I was SUPPOSED to be seeing, instead thinking that everything was still status quo.

I started letting myself have dinners out. Which would have been fine, if I made the right choices, but I never did. Never. I always got what I wanted to get. And I would justify it.

I would then start what ended up being a bad, bad rollercoaster effect. I would weigh in at WW (lifetimers only have to weigh in once at the beginning of the month) and then I would still eat good and work out, but then I would start doing the opposite and pigging out and being lazy, so then my weight would fluctuate, and I would then spend 7-10 days eating 1200 calories and being at the gym for 2 hours a day every day to get back down to my "fighting weight" for WW. Not a good spiral effect at all, and my poor, poor body....

It was all creeping up on me, and then I stopped being active on SP. I would come here every day and do the minimum, maybe some tracking, weighing in, spin the wheel, but that was it. And it showed. No WW, No SP....Really not good for me. Finally, what what seemed to be no warning, I went off track completely. Sure, I still went to the gym, but I did a fraction there of what I normally do. I would go for a half hour at a time, an hour at the most. And I wouldn't be giving it my all. ST became nonexistent.

And I started eating all day. As in, I would have meals/snacks every hour. This included trips to McDonald's for lunch in which I would have a double cheeseburger, a McChicken, and a large fry. Or I would go through the Subway drive thru and get a footlong sub plus 3 cookies. Or, I would go to a local pizza joint and grab a $5 large pepperoni pizza.

And I ate it all.

I had DQ, I had BK. I had PB&J sandwiches. Bowls of cereal.

This was the kind of behavior I had that ended with me being pregnant and over 300 pounds.

And I couldn't tell anyone about it. I was hiding the evidence. I would lie by omission to my husband about what I had to eat. I lied about my weight. I knew what I weighed. I was stepping on that scale every day. I would promise that I would start fresh. That I would do good this day. And I would, until lunch. Maybe even until dinner.

And I finally stopped. I finally told my husband everything. I stepped on the scale, it said 177.8 pounds, and I cried. Because this became my new rock bottom. I finally cracked.

I have been on track now for 3 days (if you include today) and I am back down to 172.6 without going crazy (I went to the gym for 40 minutes yesterday, and I have been eating 1300-1500 calories). I went to WW this morning, and stepped on the scale, looked them in the eye, and said I am back. That I know what I need to do, and I told them I would come to every Tuesday's meeting and weigh in, even though I don't have to. But I do, I have to for myself.

Do I feel like a failure? I did, 2 days ago. Today, I feel a new beginning. And that is why I am resetting my tracker. My new start weight is 172.6 pounds, and I am proud to be here, to be a sparker, and to have such wonderful friends and support on here.

My plan for today? To be mindful of what I am eating, to go to the gym after my daughter gets up from her nap, and to be happy.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FITBUG78 10/5/2011 9:55AM

    This sums up me for the past two and a half months...most of my days I would eat ok, but dinner and snacks were out the window. It's been like this since like July.

"But most of all, I rationalized it. I excused myself each and every time. I stopped looking at myself in the mirror and seeing what I was SUPPOSED to be seeing, instead thinking that everything was still status quo.

I started letting myself have dinners out. Which would have been fine, if I made the right choices, but I never did. Never. I always got what I wanted to get. And I would justify it."

I can't say that I'm totally back yet, I don't feel it completely, but I know I want it. I hate feeling squished in my pants that just 2 months ago were loose or fitting just right.

I know you can do this and I know I can do this too.


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DUSTYGIRL25 10/2/2011 12:09PM

    So glad you're taking control and getting back on track. From what I hear maintenance is hard for most people. I'm still working on reaching my goal so I'll get there later. I think staying accountable is so important. It's so easy to slip because there are so many temptations around us. It takes a lot of willpower.
Stay strong, for you and for your family.
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MUMMAMICHELLE 10/2/2011 12:57AM

    Welcome back! Way to come clean to yourself and reestablish all your support networks, you have found your way back to the healthy path again and you can do it!!

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JNK125 10/1/2011 10:40PM

    All of us fall off track- it happens! I can totally relate to your blog though because almost three years ago I had weighed 200 pounds and started my weight-loss journey for the first time. Like you I was EXCITED when I reached my goal. I could not believe I went from 200 to 160 pounds and justified my unwise choices (putting off my workouts or treating myself to an icecream) by the fact that I had reached my goal and was doing so amazing on my journey! The reality is when you lose sense of why you originally started your journey- you loose sight of its true purpose.

You are an incredible inspiration to me for all the amazing things you have accomplished and for the many wonderful things I know you'll accomplish in the future. While you may have fallen off track, just remember that we all do. Be proud of yourself for where you are and how far you have come- but NEVER lose sight of the things you want for yourself (a healthier you) because you deserve it!

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LINDSAYHENNIGAN 10/1/2011 7:02PM

    Well done, not many people can correct their own behavior so quickly. It is a totally manageable situation, and I am looking forward to your success.

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SHINJU39 10/1/2011 5:04PM

    Well done - I have been off track for a month myself and your an inspiration to get back on track

Take care

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MJCLARENDON 10/1/2011 4:24PM

    You're amazing- and you're totally not alone. Almost the exact same thing happened to me in August-September. I reached by goal weight and was faced with, "what now?" and my answer to that wasn't good. I relaxed my healthy habits way too much and started gaining, which made me feel bad, which made me eat more, which made me eat worse. I'm sure the cycle isn't a surprise to anyone who's been doing this for awhile.

But the good news is when you shake yourself out of it, like you did! We're still here, we still have the tools we need, and more importantly, we know we can do it ('cause we already did!) So congrats to you for getting back on track!

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WATCHMEGO2 10/1/2011 3:54PM

    I feel you Erin, I gained back close to 30 pounds and I am just now getting in the right head space to get it back off. You know what you need to do and it sounds like you are off to a good start. Be kind to yourself. take care.

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GRACEISENUF 10/1/2011 2:59PM

    I am so proud of you spark friend. You are "owning" it and moving forward. I gained back over THIRTY frigging pounds and I have had to work my ass off to get it back off. But I have done it and that is what counts. I have about 7 more to go to get back down but I have a feeling of even more accomplishment this time because it has taught me just how hard it is to get it back off. I WILL NOT QUIT.

We are winners not quitters...WE'VE GOT THIS ONE! All the way to our GOALS! WOO HOO!

No more pity party, whining, living in the past for me....pressing onward and eating clean. I FEEL GREAT!

WE CAN DO THIS!

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ARGYLE-RUNNER 10/1/2011 2:46PM

    thank you for sharing so honestly and openly - so very helpful to me right now

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MICHSTATE 10/1/2011 2:36PM

    I am so with you on this!!!! In fact, I just decided a couple of days ago that I am going to re-join WW again on Tuesday. I have done WW a few times, but never made it to goal. I was doing TOPS, but that group hasn't been motivating enough for me lately. I am hoping that a change will motivate me!!!!
Good luck to you!!!!!:-)

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HOPEFULSWEIGH 10/1/2011 2:32PM

    Thanks for sharing Erin! Our health is a life long commitment, there are ups and downs and you are working through them and coming out better on the other end.

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HAPPYSOUL91 10/1/2011 2:23PM

    Remember ....one step back, 2 steps forward, this was a quote from my lifemind class today and it made an impression with me.

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TRUANGEL1 10/1/2011 1:55PM

    LOVE THIS BLOG. PUTTING 'SELF' FIRST SEEMS TO BE A PROBLEM WOMEN GENERALLY HAVE, WHEN IT COMES TO HEALTH OR ANYTHING.
THIS IS GREAT INSPIRATION. REMEMBER "YOU ONLY FAIL WHEN YOU GIVE UP" . emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 10/1/2011 1:56:33 PM

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SROUS1340 10/1/2011 1:52PM

    Good for you! I began my bad behavior again back at Christmas after getting 10lbs over my goal weight, I'm now back where I was when I started SP. I haven't been on a scale since Feb. I came back to SP in the summer and I'm paying attention again, but I know I have to step back on scale and face the music before I commit again. Good for you, Erin! You won!

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Hurting

Friday, September 09, 2011

I hurt inside, and I feel like I can't talk about it, so instead I will "talk" about it here.

We aren't going to have more kids. Just our little one. I thought I was on board with that, but when we talked about it, and we talked about our future, the reality is we're done.

No, HE is done. And it's tearing me apart inside, because I know that it would be selfish of me to push on this, because it would change our life so much, it would be so stressful, and hard, and it could be too much for us to deal with.

But it hurts. Knowing that this decision means that I am done, my body will never have that experience again. I will never hold a baby of mine in my arms again. I know I will hold A baby in my arms again (if my sister or brother, or HIS brother have children...etc)....it's not the same.

I know that this will pass. I am emotional. My biological clock is ringing loud and clear. And he doesn't understand.

So yesterday, during this internal crisis, which I just couldn't deal with because it seemed just so illogical for me to feel this way...I had a day where I just ate my emotions away. I shut down. And ate, and ate. And of course he had thrown a damned half gallon of rocky road ice cream in the cart the evening before. The evening before, when he shut down all hope about having another child. A sibling for our little girl.

I know, I deep down KNOW that we can't have another, we shouldn't have another, and that our life is great the way it is, with our happy, healthy little girl.

I wish I could feel happy right now. I love being happy. Okay. I do feel a bit better now that I have written it out.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JMARIES51 9/23/2011 7:52PM

    Lots of love and hugs coming your way. emoticon emoticon

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TEENY_BIKINI 9/23/2011 7:39PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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VANILLAMAMA 9/23/2011 1:50PM

  emoticon

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MELLABELLAS 9/15/2011 6:31PM

    I have never had any babies of my own, or have planned to have any in the near future, but I can still sympathize with you and what you are going through. I can imagine that it is hard to deal with a decision like this. If it is something that you just can not live without, try talking to him in a few months or so.. maybe he will have more time to think and change his mind.
Things may change. You never know what's around the corner...

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NITELITE72 9/11/2011 12:44PM

    I know I can't say anything to make it "all better", but I am sending you a emoticon because I know you are hurting...

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SCRAPPYLADYV 9/10/2011 9:44PM

    emoticon

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MICHSTATE 9/10/2011 9:19AM

    I am sorry Erin!!! That is so hard!!!!
My dh thinks we should be done at two, but I am not so sure. On the other hand, I may never feel "done" because I love being pregnant and babies so much!!!!
I am not getting any younger either!!! I am about to turn 36, so even if I convince DH, it may not happen again for us, which is hard to accept....I am sure that it helps to talk about it though.... Hugs!!!!!!

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-POOKIE- 9/10/2011 2:49AM

    I honestly dont know what to say because this isn't something I really have any experience with, but I really did want to say I wish I could give you a hug and actually listen to you talk because your words are so sad.

Im sorry you are hurting xxx I really am xx

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LINDABENEDICT 9/9/2011 10:52PM

    emoticon

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BETTERJULIA 9/9/2011 5:19PM

    emoticon I know how that disappointment, sadness, anger for yourself, for your baby girl losing out on a sibling (especially if you had sibs growing up) feels. My hubby and I have been trying to have another kid but w/ 2 miscarriages we're pretty sure that we won't and I'm at the point where I don't want to try to prevent from going through the hurt of miscarriage again. Those feelings are natural and even if your hubs is like mine and can't understand your grief it is ok to let him know how you're feeling - tell him you don't need him to respond but he needs to understand how it is affecting you.
You'll never move on from those feelings (or at least I don't think I will) I always see siblings together and feel that hurt for my daughter but what I have done is to build a non traditional family around her - friends with kids that are pseudo siblings/cousins. People we invite for birthdays, holidays, excuses to hang out so that she does have that extended family.
You will make it through.
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KSJD711 9/9/2011 4:51PM

    I was a very, very high risk pregnancy. When I had my first child, my ob-gyn who had shepherded me through a very difficult pregnancy where I developed some serious problems, said at the well child check up, and I quote "siblings are a gift you give your child for life." I frankly thought the doc was nuts. I was having issues even considering another child. Between my first and my second, I lost some people close to me. My siblings were a gift at that time. They shared my history and understood what the losses meant. I remembered what my doctor said. Despite my husband's fear about the high risk issues, we went ahead and had a total of three. In my opinion the transition form 1 to 2 isn't that big. 0 to 1, yes, 1 to 2, no. The real question is does your husband have siblings? Has he gotten to the point where childhood squabbles are left behind as the big picture of life occurs, and he can appreciate having relatives to lean on? If it is still not the right answer for you as a couple, then enjoy your child, and move right on, and own your decision as a couple. But before you do that, make sure you discuss the issue thoroughly. Both of you, and what it means to your child and your own futures.

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LINDSAYHENNIGAN 9/9/2011 4:48PM

    The drive to reproduce is strong. But, (speaking as a biological and foster/adoptive parent), there are never going to be a shortage of children to love. Producing them is overrated, Loving them is the miracle.
Enjoy her.
But, if my husband unilaterally made that decision, I would probably unilaterally make the decision that he didn't need his own car, and could take the bus to work. But, I am not very nice.

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KARENE10 9/9/2011 3:40PM

    Give it a little time. Things change. People change. Don't give up hope just yet. emoticon

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PSYCHBAMA 9/9/2011 3:11PM

    So sorry you are going through this. Just try to give it time and talk to him about it. These decisions don't have to be made for good right now. Things may change. Just hang in there and know you have a GREAT support network of SparkFriends behind you to listen when you want to "talk". Hang in there!!
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CYNDERROSE 9/9/2011 2:34PM

    Its hard. emoticon My husband made that decision earlier this year and went off and had a V even though he knew I wanted another child. Talk with him and give him time. There is a chance your husband could change his mind.

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PAMMY222 9/9/2011 1:41PM

    Even though your head agrees, your motherhood instincts do not. I have to agree with other SP friends; if this feeling does not pass, you really need to discuss this with your husband through counseling. None of us want to see you sabotage your healthy efforts or become severely depressed. You want to stay healthy for your beautiful little girl.
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ADAGIO_CON_BRIO 9/9/2011 1:41PM

    I feel very sorry for you and the way you are feeling. I can totally sympathize with the hurt and the pain and the anguish of seeing a potential door slammed shut in your face. I hope that you have enough time to revisit this issue with your husband and also to revisit it with yourself and think it through.

It's ironic that I am recommending time because time is not merciful to women in their all-too-brief years of fertility. emoticon

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RUTHXG 9/9/2011 12:53PM

    Bless you, & bless your mother-heart. Give this a little time, & if your longing is still strong, counseling for you & your husband together would really be a good idea.

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LITTLEFARMMOMMA 9/9/2011 12:30PM

    I hope this all will work out for you, Erin. What I found, with my husband, was that time changes things. We were DONE when we had our third child (the first for both of us together). One time when we'd have the conversation, it was ME who was done; the next time, HE was the done one. As long as you are both fertile, look on the bright side that one day (like us) you will BOTH be NOT done on the same day/month, and it will HAPPEN! Keep your chin up, my friend! emoticon emoticon

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JENNIFERKCM 9/9/2011 12:24PM

    I'm sorry dear. If your feelings don't change, maybe you can try bringing it up again? Or even hit a few counseling sessions with someone who has experience in this? Really, they are out there. A friend of mine went through a similar situation, and it really started to affect her marriage. The counselor talked to her about why she really wanted another baby, and to her husband about why he didn't. In the end they came to an agreeable decision without the animosity. Best wishes.

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HAPPYSOUL91 9/9/2011 12:23PM

    I think when major decisions are made, it is pretty typical to be scared, disappointed and have anger/fear. This does need to be a joint decision, talk some more to hubby and hopefully it will settle your mind.

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EYES_ON_THEPRAZ 9/9/2011 12:14PM

    argh - how can he just shut it down completely? don't your feeling matter? I'm so sorry...
I really wish your daughter will get a sibling because it's really one of the greatest bonds in life :(

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REDSHOES2011 9/9/2011 12:12PM

    emoticonit is hard..

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ARGYLE-RUNNER 9/9/2011 12:09PM

    emoticon

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UHYEAHABOUTTHAT 9/9/2011 11:48AM

    :( I understand how this feels. It's horribly, horribly gut-wrenching and sad. I wish I could make it better for you.
I struggle with this same feeling..I want a sibling for my son...and my son everyday is asking when I will have a baby in my belly... I cannot think about it or I shut down. It's just not happening...I thought about having an "accident" but that's not real honest or fair...but...why is it fair that I cannot be allowed to have another child simply because of someone else's feelings? It's my body, right?
*hug
You're not alone, if that's at all any consolation.


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Fall Fitness

Thursday, September 08, 2011

At my gym last year, they had a "game" called Fall Fitness. You were on a team (much like the team challenges on here) and you got points for the team for various things such as a point for being at the gym each day, bonus points for going to the kickoff party, the tailgating party (the game is centered around football). I had so much fun with this last year and I believe the team I was on last year was in 3rd place (the seniors got first place). It's time to kick butt for my team!!!

I had a streak going with my money in the kitty, but I cashed in $30 for a new reservoir for my Camelbak, and then yesterday I went over on my calories (pretty much planned and no guilt to be had). I tracked everything as I could, since we had Mexican food at a local restaurant and it was harder to track what I ate (I shared a combo platter with my DH, which included so many sinful things, like fajita fries, which are fries covered in cheese and bacon and dipped in ranch, mozzarella sticks, jalapeno poppers, con queso, and of course chips and hot sauce). I had a good amount of it, but had my DH eat most of the poppers and cheese sticks. I mainly had con queso and hot sauce with chips. I then had Edy's Slow Churned reduced fat Rocky Road ice cream. MMMMMMMMM. So worth it. It was kind of a treat/cheat day, and now I am back to earning my money, because after I ran 13 miles on Tuesday, I ordered a new pair of shoes (my toenail is thanking me). Those cost $130, so that's my new goal.

Since I am pretty near my goal weight, DH and I are taking my weight out of the equation for the making money and keeping the streak, as long as I don't go over 164 pounds (yesterday morning I was 163.2). The main focal points are working out, walking the dog, getting my fiber, drinking my water (which is the Periwinkles challenge this week so that is great), eating in my calorie range (under 1550 basically).

I went to the gym this morning and put in 19 miles during spin class. It felt great, though my towel smelled like propane so I barely used it. One of my friends is doing planks and pushups every day, so I'll try that out, too.

Okay, my little girl is grabbing my hand, so I better go!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EYES_ON_THEPRAZ 9/8/2011 1:50PM

    It's so wonderful that your husband does this with you and encourages you! emoticon

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PAMMY222 9/8/2011 12:53PM

    That is just awesome!! Good for you!!
We make good choices as much as we can, but if an over indulgence, we have to let it go and move on.
Love your blog!!
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LITTLEFARMMOMMA 9/8/2011 11:38AM

    Awww, I wish I still had a girl to grab MY hand! That's precious! emoticon (OK, I do, but now their hands are big)

Comment edited on: 9/8/2011 11:38:31 AM

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-POOKIE- 9/8/2011 11:15AM

    emoticon

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SHERRYJVP 9/8/2011 10:40AM

    awesome..you are doing so great. congrats on your success!!!! emoticon

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PASTORMIKE7 9/8/2011 8:44AM

    You keep it up! It's a lifetime adventure!!

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Comparison pictures

Saturday, September 03, 2011

I recently read a blog about remembering where you come from. Although that can apply to so many things in my life, there is nothing like a before and after (or during) picture. Sometimes, okay a lot of the time, I forget about how I looked, how I felt, how differently I ate, the fact that I went from being the epitome of a couch potato to an athlete (a RUNNER, for crying out loud)...and I take what I have now for granted, or get dissatisfied with petty things (mainly my stomach, muffin top, saggy boobs....vanity).

Although I do really really want to lose another 20 pounds, I have to look at the fact that I have essentially maintained my weight loss for almost a full year now. Sure, I had gone up a few pounds here and there, but I have always lost it, and am now in the process of breaking that 160-pound mark and working towards the 140s.

I just need to realize, and accept, that I am beautiful, inside and out. I need to build up that self-esteem to a healthy level, a balanced level, because on some days, I feel fat/ugly or that I could be doing so much more, lose so much more, be so much more. Then, on the other days, it is the other side of the spectrum where my ego BLASTS through the atmosphere and I feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. I need to be more leveled in my thinking.

So, the pictures, before and after (though the after pictures were taken the end of March, I am at the same weight):

September 2009:



March 2011:


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

COURAGETOMOVE 9/25/2011 4:07PM

    You look great! Job well done.

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TEENY_BIKINI 9/23/2011 7:38PM

    Absolutely stunning! Soooooooo proud of you! Go girl!!

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VANILLAMAMA 9/23/2011 1:53PM

  wow I will be putting my eyes back in their sockets and getting my drooling tongue off of the floor.... :P

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ROBYN168 9/8/2011 10:11AM

    Erin - What a great idea... You are STUNNING!

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MELLABELLAS 9/7/2011 5:57PM

    Awesome job! You have come sooo far. I recently posted a "before" pic on here myself, and I can't believe how far I've come! You are so inspiring. I'm glad we're doing the fall challenge together. Go Periwinkles!

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ADAGIO_CON_BRIO 9/7/2011 12:24PM

    Fantastic! You look simply beautiful and radiant! I'm truly impressed. emoticon

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EYES_ON_THEPRAZ 9/6/2011 11:32AM

    emoticonyou look emoticon
thanks for the inspiration!!

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SBW1027 9/6/2011 9:50AM

    WOW!!!! Amazing. I can't wait till I can post those same pics :) Enjoy your new body!!!!

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RUNNER4LIFE08 9/6/2011 9:37AM

    Amazing progress..... you should feel very proud of yourself!

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VERYREADY 9/5/2011 12:12PM

    Is it really you????? Congratulations girl!!! emoticon

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DOWNTOWN02 9/5/2011 9:18AM

    You are one gorgeous lady..starting from the INSIDE first..Always believe in yourself..tell yourself one nice thing a day..becasue YOU deserve it!

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-POOKIE- 9/5/2011 8:54AM

    You KNOW you have done great!

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BLISSFULBALANCE 9/5/2011 7:54AM

    Amazing Transformation! ROCK ON!


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CHAR1970 9/5/2011 1:06AM

    You are stunning!

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TALLGUY42 9/5/2011 12:16AM

    Wow Erin!

Amazing transformation!
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You look terrific!

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COLUMBINE2 9/5/2011 12:06AM

    Wow....it's hard for me to understand how you could think you are not beautiful!

You have make a huge transformation and I can't wait to read your blogs & trackers to see how you did it.

And believe us......you're beautiful!

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RAVENSONG37 9/4/2011 11:39PM

    You are beautiful, inside and out...and that shows through in both pictures...but in the second, you look so much more comfortable in your own skin. Keep telling yourself that you are beautiful and healthy...and you will be and believe it!

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TERESA159 9/4/2011 9:41PM

    Woah. Just goes to show you how much weight affects every part of your life. You look like a completely different woman. (But I believe you!)

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PSYCHBAMA 9/4/2011 8:00PM

    Go girl!!!!!!!!! You are such an inspiration!
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NITELITE72 9/4/2011 6:27PM

    Erin you look absolutely beautiful!! Way to go, girl!!

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SONGBARDBIRD 9/4/2011 3:38PM

    Daaaaaang! What a transformation! You are seriously an inspiration! Good luck meeting your final goal, but also keep everything in perspective :)

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LITTLEFARMMOMMA 9/4/2011 3:07PM

    WOW! My husband took a look at this when I called him over to show him how proud of you I am, and without seeing what LKEITHO wrote, he said, "WOW! What a beautiful transformation!" Erin, you have done a fantastic job of living healthy, and isn't it wonderful that it shows! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LKEITHO 9/4/2011 1:49PM

    What a transformation! You look fantastic!

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DUSTYGIRL25 9/4/2011 12:04PM

    So good to see the positivity coming out! You have done a fantastic job of sticking with the program of getting healthy. We're all going to slip up now and then, it's just part of life. The important thing is to not let it get us down when we do. Just continue on with the healthy habits. It's definitely worth it!
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PINKBEANBOO 9/4/2011 11:31AM

    I'll bet that you are very inspiring to your family. Seeing you do it has got to put a seed in their brain that they could do it too.

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JENBELLE 9/4/2011 11:21AM

    Unbelievable!!!!! Great pictures and keep up the great work!!!

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SHARKYSGIRL 9/4/2011 10:21AM

  Oh my! What a difference, you look like a totally different person! Great job in getting there and staying there! What an inspiration! Keep up the good work!

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JNK125 9/4/2011 10:15AM

    You look AMAZING! It's hard to believe that its the same person in both the pictures. You're a true inspiration!

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LIVIN2LOVE1 9/4/2011 10:09AM

    Amazing. You have done such a great job! You are such an inspiration!

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LINDABENEDICT 9/4/2011 9:59AM

    Way to go ! Beautiful pictures... emoticon

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SHERRYJVP 9/4/2011 8:18AM

    that is wonderful. If I had seen the second picture, I would never have dreamed you would have ever been overweight. Make sure you keep those older pics or you might forget too. You are absolutely beautiful...in both pics actually.

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RUNNER4LYFE 9/4/2011 7:28AM

    How beautiful! Your journey inspires me to keep going with mine. Its often not realized that if u dont change ur brain and self-talk in the process of changing ur physical body, u will still often see urself as u always have - overweight. emoticon on finding the healthier you!

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CINNAMONCAT9 9/4/2011 6:20AM

    You are gorgeous, and I am so proud of you!

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ANDASI 9/4/2011 2:06AM

    Totaly completly insane. You look amazingly fantastic ! Startling and striking diffrence. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ARGYLE-RUNNER 9/4/2011 1:11AM

    you are beautiful - and maintaining for a year is awesome! emoticon

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BETTERJULIA 9/4/2011 12:50AM

    Woohoo!! YOu look great - amazing job on the maintenance and working towards more goals.

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JMARIES51 9/4/2011 12:18AM

    You are gorgeous! And I bet you feel wonderful too.

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