Wednesday, August 03, 2011
Disclaimer: I had time to blog tonight for tomorrow's word of the day blog, and so just posted it early. Yeah. Have to take the time when I can!!!
I had a pretty fabulous day that was also with a few bits of stress and pressure added in. I started my day out by going to the gym at 5:30, putting my personal best in on the spin bike (26.5 miles) followed by 35 minutes on the elliptical machine. I went home, stood on the scale, took a moment to have an inner scream by how slow the scale is going down, but after that moment just accepting that it is what it is and I can only continue doing what I am doing, and that the scale will catch up.
My day otherwise went great. I got so busy that my dinner ran really late, and I hate going to bed on an empty or too full stomach, so instead of the full PB&J sandwich I was planning, I had half of it. I know, I know, what a dinner, but I wanted my dinner to be smaller and had a larger lunch (1 cup of spaghetti).
So, my word for the day. Courage.
Courage is getting up every day and doing the right thing, even if it all seemed wrong the day before.
Courage is taking those bikini/swimsuit pictures and splashing them in a blog. That takes courage. It takes courage to stand up and do what is right for YOU, and not give a damn anymore what others will think.
It takes courage to have a good cry, to immerse yourself in the feelings and emotions you have been trying so hard to hide from, to escape from.
It takes courage to try something new, something you never thought you would ever try, from flying for the first time, to taking a walk for the first time, running for 30 seconds though you feel like it will literally kill you. To going on an adventure. Mountain climbing. Swimming. Shoot, even golfing. Something that took you out of your comfort zone.
It takes courage to try. To do. To be willing to fail if it could possibly mean you may just succeed.
And it takes courage to try again if you did fail. And again, and again, over and over, until you DO succeed. Because once you believe you can do it, you know you WILL do it.
Be the lion. Be courageous. Be proud of yourself today.
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Wednesday, August 03, 2011
The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched – they must be felt with the heart. ~ Helen Keller
I don't see myself as beautiful, because I can see a lot of flaws. People have really odd opinions. They tell me I'm skinny, as if that's supposed to make me happy. ~ Angelina Jolie
Well, yesterday was another beautiful day, both in weather and with how I felt and did. It was my day off and instead of trying to put in yet more overtime, I had a “me” day. After I came home from the gym and posted my blog, brought Kaylee to daycare, I went home and slept from about 8 until 11:30. Oh, that was so nice. I needed that. I then went on a walk with the dog and DH which was nice :o} Later in the day, I went to WW, where I was told after the meeting by the leader that they would like me to become not just a receptionist, but a leader. I am not sure about that, but I will go through the training and see what I think of it. I just would hate to overextend myself and put too much stress on myself, but I can see that they do have the need for someone to take over some of the meetings (the other leader is wanting to retire and become a full-time grandma :o}).
After the meeting (where I didn't weigh in because I want to be sure I am under 162 for sure before I do that), I went to meet up with the Running Group in town. I went with Erin #1 (I'm Erin #2) and we planned on running 3 miles, but ended up going 4 miles. It was just such a beautiful day for a run and we couldn't help ourselves. We ended up walking most of the last mile because she has a nagging knee pain, but that was also nice.
I ended the day eating around 1200 calories, which is a bit low with my activity level right now, but once I weigh in I plan on upping my calorie counts at least up to 1300-1650.
I decided to have a theme to my blogs for the next while, with a word of the day and expounding on that word. Yesterday was attitude, and today is beautiful. Yes, I am going to be doing the ABC's :o}
What is beautiful? Does a lovely face make a person beautiful? Or is it their personality, their shining light within, the things they say and do? I truly believe that it IS the inside that makes a person beautiful on the outside. A woman could be physically gorgeous, but have a personality that just ruins that beauty, takes away from it.
Looking at the Angelina Jolie quote above, I take the last part in the most. “as if that's supposed to make me happy.” What a point to make, because being beautiful or skinny will not be what makes us happy. I have not become more happy as I have lost weight because I was looking better in the mirror. I was becoming more happy because of the effect that losing weight had on me, on being more active, eating healthier, becoming more grateful of being given a new lease on life.
If I have become more beautiful after losing 120+ pounds, it was not because of the fat melted off my body. It was because I smiled more authentically, I treasured the minutes given to me, I opened myself up to the world. I looked outward and reached out to others, either to ask for help or to give someone help. I (gasp) actually wanted to be around other people and actually talked to them. Had FUN with them. Enjoyed my time with them. And found beauty in each one of them, too.
I have met so many people, either on here or in my everyday life, who to me are just the most beautiful people in the world because of what they bring to the world, what they contribute. Their souls just shine and they radiate that inward beauty.
I guess what I am saying about all this beauty stuff is....we are all beautiful, unique, and loveable creatures and we may have a dimply butt, stretch marks, a roll here and there, acne, scars, freckles, what have you, we all have “flaws” but you know what? Only we care about those flaws. No one else looks at them and points them out or probably even notices them. We should be focusing on what is beautiful about us, whether it's that toned back, those gorgeous eyes, pretty toes, straight nose, lovely hair, pretty fingernails, but most of all who we are inside. The laugh we have that is contagious, our genuine smiles, our generosity....our loving, giving soul.
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Tuesday, August 02, 2011
Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference. ~ Winston Churchill
Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day. ~ Author Unknown
Happiness is an attitude. We either make ourselves miserable, or happy and strong. The amount of work is the same. ~ Francesca Reigler
If you don't like something change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it. ~ Mary Engelbreit
To be upset over what you don't have is to waste what you do have. ~ Ken S. Keyes, Jr.
The only difference between a good day and a bad day is your attitude. ~ Dennis S. Brown
Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things. ~ Robert Brault
The soul does not absorb negativity by accident, always by choice. ~ Dodinsky
Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful. ~ Buddha
Yesterday was am amazing day. It was amazing because of my attitude. I got up at 5 despite not falling asleep until after midnight. I went to the gym, put in 55 minutes at spinning, hopped on the elliptical for 35 minutes, then went home recharged. I had a blast with my little girl, getting her ready for daycare. I walked her there and even laughed a little when I ended up walking us through mud (she was in her wagon).
I was by myself after work, with DH working until midnight and my DD at my mom's until 8:00. DH ate part of my dinner for lunch (tomato basil marinated chicken breast) so I ended up eating the mashed potatoes with a bit of sour cream and stewed tomatoes. Yummy!!! I took the dog for a long walk, relaxed while watching some reruns of Grey's Anatomy on Netflix, and got ready for today by laying out everything for the gym, washing the dishes, putting away the laundry, and getting my little girl's sippy cup ready with milk.
It's amazing what a change in my attitude can do for my overall efforts in a day. If I am down in the dumps, or Little Miss Negativity, not only do I bring myself down, I end up bringing those down around me. And the first thing that always, ALWAYS falls prey to my negativity is my nutrition. My tendency to binge comes roaring out like a train with no brakes, and before I know it I have shoveled 4000+ calories into my gullet. I don't find this disgusting as much as I find it sad that I can get to that point so easily just by the flick of my attitude switch. And that is why I am keeping that switch flipped up to the positive. Like I have said to myself so many times, I can't control the situation, I can only change my reaction.
Or, like the Serenity Prayer, which plays a huge role in my recovery:
God, Grant me the Serenity to Accept the Things I cannot Change, the Courage to Change the Things I Can, and the Wisdom to Know the Difference.
I can't change the weather, I can't change or control those around me, but I can change and/or control my behavior, my actions and reactions. And I can make my life happier and better because of it.
So, my agenda for today? Attitude, attitude, attitude.
My day has already started out amazing. It's my day off, but I still got up at 5, went to the gym, put in 30 minutes on the elliptical and 40 minutes spinning. Went home a happy and satisfied chickadee, got the little girl ready for daycare, walked her over, and now I am posting this sucker before I head back to bed for a little refresher nap. After that? I plan on just getting things done on my to-do list, which has grown pretty long in the last week. I have a garage sale coming up in 2 weeks, thank you cards need to be filled out and sent off from Kaylee's birthday, and just overall I need to get things done, then maybe relax after that. I have my Weight Watchers meeting at 5:15, then I plan on running with the runner's group, probably 3-4 miles.
Let's do this, Sparkers!! Let's change our attitudes, and enjoy our life, what we have, and make the best of our situations!!
Monday, August 01, 2011
"When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life."
~ John Lennon
I can't believe it is August 1!!! That snuck up on me. This last week has been crazy. First of all, daycare was out for the week (she hurt her back). Then, at my work we got so behind that we were put on 5 hours of mandatory overtime. I worked 30 hours of overtime. You read that right. My days this last week looked the same: Get up at 5:15, go to the gym, come home, punch to work (working 7:45 -5 with a half hour lunch), spend time with my daughter, put her to bed at 8, punch in from 8-midnight. Wash, rinse, repeat.
It was a great cycle, except that with only 5 hours of sleep each night, I was awake for so many more hours of the day than usual, and of course I got hungrier and hungrier. I had 3 days where I pretty much "had at" and of course my weight on the scale suffered, but I got right back up on that horse and started planning and tracking my meals again. This morning, I am at 165.8, which I am pretty plucky and happy about.
A revelation I had this week was that I am happy, and the only thing that gets me down is when I obsess about how I look or what my weight is. My happiness should never be defined by these things, and I am making a choice in my life to be happy with myself, who I am, what I am, and what I have, and of course that I have all I NEED!
I went to a 50th anniversary party for my uncle and aunt on my dad's side. I never see this side of the family, and my mom wanted me to bring Kaylee to show off. Wow, the reaction I got was so overwhelming, and at first I didn't know how to react. A lot of the people there said they didn't recognize me and had to ask who I was...a cousin of mine (who is about 45) told me that he wished we weren't blood relatives and that I was 'SMOKING' hot (which kinda creeped me out, no lie). Another praised my weight loss, and said that I inspire her. This made me feel good overall, and made me realize that my efforts are about the overall picture, not about the efforts of last week or even last month. It takes many small steps to accomplish big things, and I do know that I have a lot to show for all my small steps.
So, today is Monday, where I am backing off the overtime (even if it is offered, I will not be putting in more than a couple of hours here and there). Kaylee is back in daycare. I am hopefully going to start training for Weight Watchers now that they should have all my paperwork. I need to weigh in by this Saturday and I absolutely WILL be under 162.
Oh, and yesterday I ran 8 miles. That's right. I did that. Me. And it made me happy :o}
SOOOOO, on to my August Plan of Action:
Stick pretty close to my running/training plan:
Run 3 miles 2x a week, and my long run on Saturday or Sunday each week. I have been adding a mile a week, which is aggressive, but I have been listening to my body. On the last week of this month, I should be at 12 miles and ready to run my next (2nd) half marathon in October.
I will continue my crosstraining, adding in biking on the road (not just spinning). I just need a helmet before doing that. I want to add in swimming, just starting out and getting used to it. I am tentatively planning on doing my first triathlon next June and want to get a good base on all areas of the tri before actually training for it.
Strength training will become an even more integral part of my training. My muscles need it!!! And I know my running can only improve with this.
Stretching also will become a more important part of my training as this does wonders for preventing injuries.
I will track at least 75% of the time this month. I will not strive for perfection, but for progress. I will track no matter what I eat so I have an accurate reflection of why I gained or lost inches and/or pounds, to know what I need to work on. Oh, and my goal calorie range will be 1300-1650, depending on my fitness for the day.
I will drink at least 4-16.9 ounce bottles of water a day, and only 1 of those bottles will be Crystal Light. I will limit my soda intake to 1 can a day max, but try for less.
I will blog as much as possible, striving for at least 5 days a week. I will also have a word of the day as theme, and be more consistent with this. I will blog whether I am up or down, happy or sad, on track or off track. When I am away from this, I feel a disconnect and I don't like that at all.
For my weight? I would just like to be 10-15 pounds less than I was at the end of August last year, which was 171.2, so I want to be at 156.2 - 161.2. That would be fantastic in my book!!!
Temptations this week: None but that doesn't mean that they won't come up!
Temptations this month: Renaissance Festival in Minneapolis the third weekend. My mom/brother want to eat at PF Chang's and Cheesecake Factory. A plan will be in place, for sure.
I am so ready to make the rest of this summer count, and to be happy and enjoy the beautiful sun and warmth. I will be enjoying my life this month!
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
After my blog last night, I put my sick little girl to bed. A couple of hours later, she woke up nearly screaming. I went in right away and she was burning up
I checked her temperature, and it was 104.7. I had just given her Tylenol before bedtime, so I had to try other tactics, like giving her a bath, etc. Nothing worked, and her temperature climbed to 105 degrees. I decided to bring her in to the ER.
And what a nightmare THAT was. I had DH meet us there (he was at a friend's house watching TV). We were there for about 40 minutes in the waiting room when she had a massive diarrhea explosion. Poor thing. I changed her, and she went back into daddy's arms, exhausted. The nurse came out and had us follow him back to the exam room, and on the way back, poor Kaylee threw up all over her daddy
It was a long time waiting in the room, but when the doctor saw her, even though she had no respiratory symptoms except for an intermittent cough, he decided to test her for RSV (respiratory syncytial virus) because there has apparently been an outbreak in our community. He also wanted to test her urine, so placed a catch bag on her instead of catheterizing her (to avoid trauma). A couple of hours later, we found out that she tested positive for RSV, but since she still hadn't peed in her bag, they sent us home with instructions on Tylenol and Motrin every 3 hours alternating, and to keep her well hydrated and rested, and no daycare until at least Thursday depending on her symptoms. We got home around 4, and I knew that I would have to miss going to the gym since I needed sleep. I also knew that I would pretty much be watching Kaylee all day, and keep her home (and not go to grandma's), so working out outside the house was out of the question. Also, since the heat index here today is 115 degrees, there was NO way I was letting Kaylee outside at all.
So, yeah..pretty stressful night. And when we put her to bed at 4:30, she woke up every hour after until 7:30 when she wanted out of the crib. She took a 3-hour nap over the noon hour, and is down now for another nap, and I am picking up some time at work (besides typing this blog). I will be working when she goes to bed tonight, too, since we are behind and the less paid time off I take the better since I want to save it for a rainier day ;o}
I am doing great on eating, and I am going to make sure that this is still a strong day for me. I did walk the dog twice in the heat, so that was maybe not a great fantastic workout, but I sure did still sweat!
I am planning on going to the gym in the morning (unless I get no sleep again). Just wanted to update about my little sick princess....
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