Thursday, April 28, 2011
1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
Nope, Mom just wanted the initials EJ, so since I am a girl, Erin Joy...if a boy, Eric Joshua
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
6 days ago when I felt overwhelmed about my eating/health.
3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
I used to, but since I type 90% of the time, my penmanship has suffered.
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
It used to be cotto salami, but now is turkey.
5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
Yes, 1 girl, Kaylee (almost 2).
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?
Yes, and I can abuse it a lot, especially with my DH, the poor thing.
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
Yes, never had many issues with them.
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
Not when I was 240+ pounds. Now? Yes, I would :o}
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
Cinnamon Toast Crunch or Life Cereal.
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
Yes, because otherwise the insides get ruined a lot faster.
12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
Physically, YES! Emotionally, getting there :o}
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
If plain, my favorite is New York Vanilla. If I get mix-ins (ala Coldstone Creamery), Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough.
14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
Their smile :o}
15. RED OR PINK?
Pink ever since giving birth to a little girl ;o}
16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
My insecurities about my body and weight in general. My stomach and the fact that I have been hovering around 160 since last October to be more specific.
17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
18. WHAT IS THE PAUL MCKENNA TECHNIQUE THAT YOU NEED TO WORK ON THE MOST?
Had to Google this...hypnotism? He can make me thin for only 43.80 Euros? Well. No.
19. WHAT COLOR SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
Silver and Red (Asics running shoes).
20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
Beef Roast with Onion gravy and mashed potatoes.
21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
My daughter watching Dora...wait a minute, she just messed with the Netflix and is watching...Big Beach? WTH?
22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
23. FAVORITE SMELLS?
Pizza, my husband, my daughter after her bath, my deodorant when I am working out (gross, right?), freshly mown grass, rain, the sun on my face (yes, that's a smell!).
24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
My friend (and Kaylee's godmother) Melissa to set up a time to hang out!
25. MOUNTAIN HIDEAWAY OR BEACH HOUSE?
Beach house for sure. I love the beach!!!!!
26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
Watching NFL, any game!
27. HAIR COLOR?
Dyed blonde (otherwise light brown/dark blonde)
28. EYE COLOR?
Mostly blue, sometimes green, sometimes like a grayish, depending on mood.
29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
No, because I can't stand them. (getting LASIK soon anyway)
30. FAVORITE FOOD?
So sorry, don't have one, have many! Probably one of my many issues. Faves are most any pizza, most any ice cream. I'll leave it at that. Wait....all you can eat shrimp at Red Lobster. Okay, now I'm done. Nope. Olive Garden. I'm done now. Promise.
31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
Is it a gory movie? Then scary. If not, then the happy ending.
32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
Oh, God....Twilight Eclipse. I need to see a movie.
33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
34. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Summer. If I could have summer year-round, it would be done.
35. HUGS OR KISSES?
Who are they from?
36. FAVORITE DESSERT?
I can't pick one. All of the above. If that doesn't work, then Dirt Cake.
37. STRENGTH TRAINING OR CARDIO?
Cardio, but I want to love ST more.
38. COMPUTER OR TELEVISION?
39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
Chasing Fire by Nora Roberts
40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
42. FAVORITE SOUND?
The sound of my breathing when I run. My daughter's laughter. The waves on a beach.
43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
Cancun in March.
45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
Special talent? Not really. I used to be an amazing flutist, though.
46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
Where I live.
47. WHERE ARE YOU LIVING NOW?
Where I was born.
48. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR HOUSE?
49. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR CAR?
50. DO YOU LIKE ANSWERING 50 QUESTIONS?
The first 20 sure, but I start running out of time because my daughter wants me to play after that :o}
Monday, April 25, 2011
I think it is time for me to get back to basics and up my accountability by making a list of things I want to do, and on Sunday, May 1, update with how I did and make a new list.
Nutrition: This will be for all days this week:
1. Stay within 1200-1550 calories.
2. Work on being in ranges for most of the things I track, including sodium, potassium, carbs, protein, fiber, fat, etc.
3. Drink 80+ ounces of water minimum, but strive for 100+.
1. Spin and Sculpt class (50 minutes).
2. Spring clean the backyard that is full of dog poop (Nasty).
1. Run 1 mile.
2. Do half an hour of ST minimum.
1. If 1 mile was pain-free, run 2 miles.
2. Elliptical for half an hour on lower setting.
1. If 2 miles worked out fine, run 3 miles.
2. ST for half hour minimum.
1. Run 5 miles if the previous 3 runs went great.
2. ST for 45 minutes.
All days: Walk dog at least once, but if a nice day, twice at least.
1. Keep busy.
2. Remember that I am not perfect and don't have to do everything on the list if something comes up, but that I want to strive to do better this week.
3. Clean when opportunities come up.
4. Be outside when weather permits, because being outside invigorates me! That goes for running, too :o}
5. Take time for myself and read, watch a favorite show (without eating while I am watching OR reading), take a long shower, shave, paint my toenails, and hey, my fingernails while I am at it.
6. Be productive at work. The harder I work, the more I make, and I want to be paying extra on a certain bill.
Have fun! That's what I really need to do.
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Okay, Sparkies, I have frequented SP every day, but yet my activity has been minimal (posting on other blogs, writing blogs, checking out my friends' feeds). My activity has been minimal IRL, too.
Ever since my hip flexor injury I have not gone running. I have also stopped going to the gym and stopped my ST. I have gone for walks outside, but that is it.
I planned to get "back to it" last week since the Sports Medicine doctor said I could. But I didn't. I let my other health issues that I blogged before about get in the way. The blood tests revealed that my prolactin is low, my TSH (thyroid test) is normal, and I am anemic. That explains me feeling tired and sluggish and dizzy but that is about it. They were looking for my prolactin to be high, so it being low is actually a good thing. I am on a 2-month wait to see if my cycles regulate. If it doesn't, then I am referred for an endometrial biopsy.
The bad news is, last week my weight jumped to 168 (my baseline weight is 160). I had it down to 162 the week before, and now this morning (after having a delicious yet fatty/sodium packed dinner) it is 165.4 (yesterday being 164.2).
I have been driving myself and my DH nuts with my behavior. Three days ago I recommitted to eating healthy, and I have been doing that (well, except for yesterday's dinner date with DH). And, I am learning through this that with diet alone you absolutely CAN lose/maintain your weight, but right when I get close to 160 again, something happens and I allow myself to eat what I want. It's like I can't handle much anymore emotionally. I feel drained.
And I feel lazy. The fact that I have barely any fitness minutes this month KILLS me. I prided myself on the fact that I got up at 5:15 five to six days a week to run or work out. I know that I am going to the gym tomorrow and that I am jumping back on the horse, but I feel like it is too late for the weigh-in at Weight Watchers on Tuesday, May 3.
Just a few days ago I was telling DH about how I was feeling, physically and emotionally, and how I felt bereft, just empty, like I didn't have any emotions, but I knew I was drowning my emotions in food. He said that he doesn't blame me given what I have been going through with my non-stop period.
That is crap. I can't use that as an excuse. I need to use that as motivation! I need to use that as fuel to my fire to get up and do something healthy to make my body FEEL better.
So, I am NOT starting over. If I was truly starting over, I'd be sitting here not able to walk 100 feet, weighing 286 pounds, not 165. I would be at my rock bottom again.
Therefore, I am just picking up where I left off. I am going to start running a mile, then 2, then 3, until I am ready for the half in (eeks) 1 month. I am not worried about being able to finish it. I won't be finishing in 2:17 like I did in October because of the big pause in training, but that's okay by me.
But, I still only have 10 pounds to lose. 165 is not a bad number. I am NOT going to put myself down about the number. In fact, I am happy that I only gained 5 pounds throughout this. And I know that most of it is, as usual, water weight. I probably only really gained 1-2 pounds of real weight. Sure, I am thinking I lost some muscle with my lack of ST, but I can get it back.
I believe in myself, and I am happy. I wasn't 3 days ago, that's for sure, but that was then and this is now. I choose to make my life a happy one to be proud of.
Here is a quote from The Biggest Loser: "I need to feel proud of myself. That's my motivation to lose weight."
Oh, and Happy Easter!!!
Friday, April 15, 2011
First of all, thank you for the support you have all once again shown me. It truly makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside to have my friends bring out the positivity in me.
I decided not to call my doctor for a couple of reasons: 1. After looking at how long I have been on my new birth control pill (I was having 2 periods a month with my prior one), I am finishing up month 2 of 3. I can wait it out one more month. And 2. My period stopped yesterday morning, so it only lasted 3 days this time for a total of 14 days in the last month. But, if it starts up again within 2 weeks, I will be calling her PRONTO!
Soooooo, I stepped on the scale, and it said 168. That did a damned good job of shocking my system intellectually and emotionally. That is TOO close to 170 and in a real danger zone for me. I have 20 days to get below 162 for my monthly weigh-in at WW, so that was a kick in the butt!
I tell you what, I had about the most productive day of my LIFE yesterday.
Here is the list:
1. Put together a package for UPS and brought it there to send off (returning a jacket my DH bought me that is too BIG! Yay!).
2. Tanned on my lunch hour.
3. Paid a person back for making a shirt for me for Spin For Kids.
4. Finished and sent in our state taxes.
5. Sent in the check and form for changing from full marathon to half marathon in May.
6. Stayed in my calorie range of 1200-1500 (at 1258).
7. Walked the dog.
8. Cleaned the entire house (to include 2 loads of laundry, dishes, vacuuming the whole house, cleaning the nursery, etc....3 days of no cleaning adds up!!!).
9. Spring cleaned the garage (not an easy feat....my goodness that was just dirty!!! ON a happy note, found my missing Zensah calf compression sleeve and my dog's original collar with her tags on it).
10. Cleaned out my office (another difficult task).
11. Drank my 100 ounces of water for the first time in at least month.
12. Cleaned out the bathroom (ick).
13. Oh, yeah, I worked for 8 hours, too!!! And had a productive day with that, as well :o}
***WARNING!!! VENT AHEAD***
I also went to bed at 8:30, though I didn't fall asleep until 10 because my mind was focused on my daycare lady. She slipped a piece of paper in the bag holding my daughter's jammies asking for 2 days off in the next 2 weeks. I called her asking why she needed them off (this is her 7th and 8th day off now since January and we are just getting tapped out completely with sick days/days off for PTO...I am now having to take leave w/o pay for days off to watch Kaylee, who has NOT been sick at ALL since October). She told me she has an appointment for her toe on one of the days (she had a wedging procedure done a week ago, very small procedure) and her annual appointment on the other day.
Since when do people take an entire day off for one appointment? As far as I can tell, each of these appointments would take, what...an hour. MAYBE 2??? And she needs the DAY OFF?
And I need to now work Easter weekend because my mom is working, DH has used up his sick days to watch Kaylee on various days for the same reason, and I can't afford to take days w/o pay, so now I can get those days off, but must work Easter weekend.
Maybe I am overreacting, but it seems she uses any reason to get days or half days off, and it's hurting us. I wish I could tell her this, but really she acts very emotionally fragile and whenever the other mom (there is only one other child in the daycare) brings up a concern to her, she vents to ME about it (must be forgetting that I am also a mom of a child she is watching).
We are thisclose to finding another daycare because this lack of dependability is just getting so old. I am hoping to get a procedure done soon that will take 2 days of recovery for me, and I also need a couple of Fridays off next month. I need these days by the end of May, and so if she asks for more time off between now and then, she better have a hugely awesome reason, because if she doesn't, I may have to discuss this with her, and would hate to have to give her a 2-week notice.
Phew...good to vent.
So, again, thank you so much for your advice and support! It means the world to me. I am so happy to be back on track again. I know it was only 3 days, but the last day felt like a pure binge day where I couldn't stop eating. I just couldn't.
Take care, Sparkies, and enjoy your Friday! I know I will :o}
P.S. It is snowing here. That is just wrong on so many levels.....
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