ERINBEAR1876   27,451
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ERINBEAR1876's Recent Blog Entries

Just a quick pick-me-up (and hopefully my last blog of the day)!

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Before and Afters (but without pictures, just facts):

1. Weight: 286/160
2. Waist- 44/32
3. Hips - 48/38
4. Thigh - 30/22.5
5. Calf - 20/14.5
6. Upper Arm - 18/12
7. Chest - 48I (yes, I)/36D

So, that means:

126 pounds lost.

53 inches lost.

I have run:

7 - 5K races
1 - 8K
1 - 10K
1 - Half Marathon

I am a warrior, and I will no longer tell myself ANY differently. I am unstoppable. Hear me RAWR!!!

emoticon Feeling so devilishly good right now, funny what perspective and newfound inspiration/motivation will do for the soul? Yeah, I am feeling mean again. In a GOOD way.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

-LORINDA 2/27/2011 11:07PM

    emoticon emoticon

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RAVENSONG37 2/27/2011 11:05PM

    You are incredible. That is all.

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PINKBEANBOO 2/25/2011 12:34PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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NUTRIGIRL08 2/25/2011 10:17AM


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OFFDREA 2/24/2011 3:51PM

    You are AMAZING!!!! Very inspring! Congratulations :)

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LENGELKE 2/24/2011 3:24PM


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FCRAFT 2/24/2011 3:18PM

    WOW you are a motivator that is for sure! emoticon Thank you for sharing your numbers with us

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RUNNER4LIFE08 2/24/2011 2:23PM


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ONE*BUSY*MOM 2/24/2011 1:55PM

    Wow! You are...


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ELLABELLE66 2/24/2011 1:49PM

    You are fabulous!! Thank you for constantly being such an inspiration for me! LOVE YOU LOTS - and never ever forget this blog.

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LKEITHO 2/24/2011 1:19PM

    Great job! What an inspiration! Thanks!

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THISISFORME924 2/24/2011 1:18PM

    Thats so amazing! Our thighs are the same size and I am not losing anything in them... I blame running on these thunderous babies!

You rock chicka!

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BILLALEX70 2/24/2011 1:14PM

    Kick ASPHALT!

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GRACEISENUF 2/24/2011 1:07PM

    simply............. emoticon

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MIAMI_LILLY 2/24/2011 1:01PM

    Wow...I wanna be you when I grow up! You are my idol. Thank you for sharing your awesome achievements with us. emoticon

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SALINAMATHER 2/24/2011 12:52PM

    Thats awesome! You really have come so very far and have completely changed your life for the better!

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THEHONESTME 2/24/2011 12:51PM

    I love it -- glad you're back!!!!
RAWRRRRR right back at ya!

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MUSTANGMISSY 2/24/2011 12:49PM

    Just looking at that blows my mind! Great job, girl! You are really an inspiration!

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BUTTERFLYBLUE67 2/24/2011 12:47PM

    Those are some awesome stats! Can't wait to get there myself. Congratulations and thanks for posting it encourages us to keep moving forward and not give up.

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My appointment

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Well, my appointment went almost as expected.

They took my weight (of course I just HAD to wear my corduroy pants, sweater, and shoes) and it showed 166.6. Nice.

Took my blood pressure. 106/70. The usual.

Told the nurse the highlight of the symptoms (2x a month period, dizziness/lightheadedness).

Nurse practitioner comes in, asks a bunch of questions, basically mainly about my birth control pill that I take.

Then, comments on my weight loss, and how that affects things.

Then, asked me about my stressors. I thought about it. I mentioned my training for a marathon and the stress of getting in my long runs/running outside with icy patches. Didn't think that as much of a stressor, though. Told her that I have been stressed out about my weight and especially these last 6 weeks because of having to stay at 160 for 6 weeks for lifetime status. And how I can't seem to get my mindset back into losing weight mode. She comments that she wishes she could lose any weight.

She asks about family history. Asks about any thyroid testing done in the past. No family history, and yes I had testing done 1 year ago in December.

Gets me up on the table, listens to my chest. Makes comment, "I love listening to a runner's heartbeat. Nice and sloowwww." Yup, it sure is nice....

She asks about how my rate is when I exercise. I tell her it goes up normally.

So, in closing, she tells me it is most likely a combination of these factors:
1. Weight loss, especially "so much" in the last year.
2. Stress, and that I need to destress as much as I can.
3. Birth control pills. She thinks I may need more progesterone and prescribed me a new pill, which SUCKS because I just started a new package out of 3 that cost me $40!!!!

So, I am going to get the new prescription today after work and start it tomorrow. I can't do much about the whole weight loss thing. Can't gain it back, that's for sure.

About the stress. I know exactly what I need to do. I need to run. BADLY. I won't today (she asked me to take one more day of resting up after I told her about this last week of flu crap). But, I am SO at the gym tomorrow morning. I plan on running 3-5 miles depending on how I feel. After that? Some weight lifting and strength training. I need to PUMP SOME IRON, baby!!!

I just need to get it all out. I need to use this body in ways it is SUPPOSED to be used. I need those endorphins. I really do. They are my healthy wonderdrug. They do for me what smoking, gambling, and eating have done for me before. And they are GOOD for me, unlike the others.

So....besides that, the only things I know to do for my stress level are Grey's Anatomy, read a book (the new JD Robb book is out, so I am planning on buying that today)...take a bath? Maybe I will do that tonight, too. Hmmmm....

I will end this blog with a few quotes that are on my motivational collage poster thingy:

"Don't Waste Another Step."

"I need to feel proud of myself. That's my motivation to lose weight."

"Be Unstoppable"

"You Were Born Ready"

"No Surgery, No Pills, and No Looking Back"

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RAVENSONG37 2/27/2011 11:07PM

    I hope your medical stuff gets figured out. It can be really distracting. Love you!

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NUTRIGIRL08 2/25/2011 10:17AM

    Glad you got some answers!!!

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IRISH_AGUIRRE 2/24/2011 6:23PM

  I'm glad you got checked up. Hope all goes better really soon!

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RLHOTAN 2/24/2011 2:59PM

    Hey Erin! I am glad you are ok...well as ok as a stressed person can be. Just be careful training. Your Periwinkles love you!!!

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RUNNER4LIFE08 2/24/2011 2:21PM

    Glad to hear it wasn't anything serious. My suggestion.... take a bath while watching Grey's tonight! (Not sure if that is possible but it is a relaxing thought!)

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    :) I hope things get back to "normal" for you soon!

- Michelle

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AURORA1423 2/24/2011 12:19PM

    You, lady, are an INCREDIBLE inspiration to me. emoticon emoticon

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My "issues"

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Thanks for all the comments on my status this morning, Sparkfriends~!

I have made an appointment in an hour to see my primary. I do remember when they thought I had appendicitis and had me do a CT scan, they saw an ovarian cyst, but that was all. They mentioned it in passing, so I assumed it was pretty insignificant or at least not big enough to be worried. Also, it obviously hasn't ruptured (no sharp pains).

In the past 3 months, I have been feeling dizzy/lightheaded, but I have had problems in the past overall with that. I have done all kinds of testing and nothing has enlightened us really. They figured it was my ears, and I had vestibular rehabilitation, which seemed to help, but not sure how much because the dizziness/lightheadedness started up again. It never got really bad again, though (falling over) so I put it aside.

But, it has been getting worse. Somewhat orthostatic (I feel a rush to my head and dizzy when I stand up). My resting heart rate has been about 40 since losing the weight (first noticed about 8 months ago when doing vestibular rehab and the physical therapist asked me about it). He said "You must be a runner for your heart rate to be that low." I smiled and thanked him. He also said I must have never been a smoker. I told him I smoked a pack a day for 8 years actually...he was a bit stunned. It seems everyone is shocked when they find out I used to be a smoker. But, I hid it very well when I did.

My heart rate seems to be fine when I exercise. I wear an HRM when I run, and it goes up appropriately to around 150-160 when I am at peak. I think the highest I have ever seen it go is 169.

I am just wanting to get to the bottom of this. It is getting old, feeling dizzy, which gets me feeling nauseated, and also having this TOM twice a month really sucks when it lasts 7-8 days each time and has wicked cramping and PMS symptoms to go along with it. And it isn't light either. No mama. If I could get rid of my periods altogether, I would...and I did for 7 years when on the Depo Shot (stopped over 3 years ago).

Okay, rambling again. Blah. Oh, and over the past year I think I have had this happen a total of 6 months, it's just that these last 3 months it has happened in a row.

And I had scrambled eggs/egg whites, turkey bacon, reduced-fat cheese, and a slice of wheat toast for breakfast. I ate like a king, and now am sick to my stomach. Dangit.

I wanna run!!!! I wanna work out!!!! Gawd I am jonesing for a sweaty session at the gym like you won't believe. I haven't been without running/working out this long since I joined the gym 13 months ago. Ugh. I think that is affecting my mood, too. I haven't been able to sweat/scream/burn out my emotions. And so food comes back to comfort me. emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LENGELKE 2/24/2011 12:19PM

    You said "I am just wanting to get to the bottom of this. It is getting old, feeling dizzy, which gets me feeling nauseated, and also having this TOM twice a month really sucks when it lasts 7-8 days each time and has wicked cramping and PMS symptoms to go along with it. And it isn't light either."


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BRIAEL 2/24/2011 11:34AM

    TOM twice a month? Hope you're eating lots of iron-rich foods to boost yourself away from anemia!

Hope you can find a fix for the dizziness, that is such a soul destroying feeling when it holds you back from enjoying your life (and exercise).

Feel well soon! :)

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ONE*BUSY*MOM 2/24/2011 11:22AM

    Hope you feel better soon!

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MNGIRLIE 2/24/2011 11:03AM

    Glad you're getting to the doctor to have them check it out. The cyst and such kind of sounds like what I've gone through with my PCOS. They can be pretty painful, but they go away fairly quickly. I also had super irregular periods with my PCOS, but not nearly as frequent as you are. Mine were more like 6 months apart... maybe.

Hope you're back to feeling great again soon so you can get that sweaty workout in!

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LADYJ6942 2/24/2011 10:47AM

    I am going to venture possible fibroid - may not be spelled correctly - in the uterus are the culprit. I had problems with them about 7 years ago now and had a hysterectomy. Solved that problem.

Hopefully you get some solid answer soon. Good luck and keep you the good work.

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BUTTERFLYBLUE67 2/24/2011 10:45AM

    Hope you find out what's going on soon. Good luck and feel better.

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-POOKIE- 2/24/2011 10:44AM


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SALINAMATHER 2/24/2011 10:29AM

    It took me three years to finally get some answers to my issues. Regular doctors didn't have a clue what was going on with my body and just kept giving me generalized terms for what they thought it was.
I'm starting treatment this week and will let you know how it goes. If this current doctor can fix me, I'm going to get all of my friends that are having medical issues to see him.

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SEESTARS 2/24/2011 10:26AM


I hope the doctors can come up with some answers for you, and that you will be feeling better soon.

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FATBOTTOMGRL1 2/24/2011 10:19AM

    I know exactly how you feel. Except, they found a 7lbs tumor growing in my uterus. Got so big, it ate my IUD. I just turned 40, last May. Been through so much the past 7yrs with family issues. My OB/GYN assured I was going to feel like "a new woman". Well, I am 3month post op and still don't feel it. I have been in and out of the ER/ hosp so much since, it saddens me. They too thought my I was having appendix issues or gall bladder was going out. No sharp pains, all the time, but enough to make me nausea or vomit. I haven't worked out in in months and months. Even though I am not "dying" to get to the gym, as my weight is out of control. I would very much like to get on the treadmill in my basement. I have a workout area down there. I just had an MRI done on my back. Just like every other test they have ran, I'm sure it will come back "within normal range"

We have to hang in there. The food has come back to comfort me, as well. Last night while laying in bed, after eating dinner, I ate a package of vanilla milkshake pop tarts. I wasn't hungry. I just ate them.

You have come so far and have done a tremendous job on your journey. Rely on your SP friends to keep you boosted, so you don't slip like I did. Let me tell you, it isn't pretty.

your rock star crown


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NUTRIGIRL08 2/24/2011 10:14AM


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GRACEISENUF 2/24/2011 10:11AM

    I hope they figure out what is wrong SOON! I hate that when you are in pain (it took them over I year one time to figure out what was wrong with me until I demanded (nicely) a back x-ray.

Sorry the breakfast made you feel sick and have faith you WILL get back to your exercise ASAP.

Hugs and I will pray for you too,

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ON2VICTORY 2/24/2011 10:09AM

    hang in there sis, that sounds pretty rough. nice to hear the compliment from the doctor! you must be a runner!!

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Being the Best I can Be?

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

That is the title of my Sparkpage. I am being the best I can be.

And that is total hogwash. The day I typed that, I was...that day.

But since around October, I really haven't. I will go a few days of being spectacular and then...I fall off.

And that ends today. This isn't black and white, I can't be perfect, and that is why the title of my page is true, yet not true. I set a high standard for myself because I absolutely KNOW I can be better. But that high standard many times bites me in the ass.

I have ALWAYS believed that you get out of something what you put into it. That is purely common sense. So, when I step on the scale and I see a number I don't like? I know the reason for it. I don't think that once in the past 19 months have I stepped on the scale, saw the number, and truly felt that "oh bologna, that is WRONG!" I may have SAID it, but in my heart I knew what caused that number to pop up.

Sure, it may have been water retention from my TOM, but usually it was directly related to what I ate the day before, or during that week. Sure, I know that the scale needs to "catch up" to my efforts, but when I am consistent in my efforts, the scale shows it.

Here is a good example:

Last June, on my calendar there are happy faces on every day of the week but one, which has a so-so face meaning that I may have gone over a couple hundred calories, but not bad. That month, I lost 12.4 pounds, going from 193.8 to 181.4.

Fast forward to November, and the faces are mainly so-so or blatantly sad faces, and I had a net gain of 2.2 pounds that month.

I have been around 160 pounds since October 19. Sure, there were multiple birthdays, holidays, and whathaveyou and you know what? I got complacent.

Complacency is like the BIG BAD WORD used in most 12-step addiction programs. This is the word that is stressed to all the newbies, that you must NEVER become complacent because that begets a slow, yet steady, trip to slipping or fully relapsing.

When it comes to my addictions to gambling or smoking, I am not complacent. Then again, it is easier to forget about those addictions completely when you don't allow yourself to be around them. I avoid smokers when they are smoking. I never go into a casino. Simple enough.

But food? You can't avoid it. I can't avoid it. I note through my journey that when I haven't eaten out or had junky food for a period of time, say 2 weeks, that my "cravings" for them go away and I am wanting only the healthy food. Then I have something, and I go freaking crazy, like a junky needing their next fix.

I was sick, very sick, these past few days, and although I didn't feel I completely went nuts with food, I finally tracked everything I ate yesterday, and it was not fantastic. At the end of the night, I went out with my daughter and went through the DQ drive-thru and purchased a large cherry-dipped cone. In the past, I would have allowed myself a small cone (6 WW Points) because it was allowable in my points values. Nope, I got the above-mentioned cone dipped in cherry stuff (18 points). I didn't know the points values. If I had, I can tell you right now I would not have gotten it. Planning is so big for my success.

Having my head in the right place is also big for my success. I feel empty right now. Not emotionally, but mentally. You know what? Empty is not the word. My mental well being is so messed up right now because I have been stuffing my face with nasty food that is making my stomach feel HORRIBLE, and I haven't been to the gym since Thursday. I did the minimum needed for the B2W challenge but that was IT. I know that the last 3 days I couldn't work out at the gym. I don't need to be spreading this lovely thing.

But this morning, I could have gone. Sure, I still felt weak, but I could've gone. Instead, I slept in.

And I am done. I am done feeling like a failure. I am done feeling bad for myself. I am done making excuses.

I want to be the BEST I can be. And not half-ass it. Because that is what I have been doing the last many months. I have been half-assing it. And I know the day it happened to. Ahhh, revelation time.

The day after I ran the half marathon.

I burned myself out on running, and that race was so emotional for me, a pinnacle. The longest I had ever run. And the day after I ran it, I felt empty. Like I had nothing to run for anymore. Nothing really to work toward.

Is it about numbers? About a race? It is, and it shouldn't be. It is about me. About how I feel. How I view myself. If I want my body to look the way it SHOULD, then I need to start doing something about it.

I need to be a DOER. Not a watcher. I got that from Grey's Anatomy last night ;o}

Okay, enough rambling. I am not sure if this was remotely coherent at all, but I really don't ever edit what I type and just leave as is.

I am going to keep things simple to get myself back on the right track.

For nutrition, I am going to ingest 29 points (WW) which is about 1300 calories average. I am going to make sure this consists of healthy choices. My body needs it.

For fitness, I am going to run on my lunch hour. I don't know how many miles, but I will just run for the time I am allowed. I will work on strength training tonight when Kaylee is in bed or during my break, if my productivity allows it.

For water, I need to really get back on track drinking water. I will get in 80 ounces today as a starting point. I am not going to jump right back on drinking 150+ ounces when I haven't done that for 2 weeks.

I will get to bed no later than 9:30 tonight.

I will walk my dog once.

I will be mindful of the choices I make, each and every time. I am going to hold myself accountable.

Have a lovely hump day, everyone :o}

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NUTRIGIRL08 2/24/2011 10:13AM


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SWEETNEENI 2/23/2011 10:31PM

    emoticonShine that light on the darkness! You go girl!

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    Totally amazing and honest... you can do this and it really doesn't matter how long it takes, only that you keep trying!!


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THEHONESTME 2/23/2011 4:05PM

    I love your honesty. I know you write from your heart and that's what helps. You can do this, Erin -- you've proven that before. Don't be too quick to put too much "on your plate". Take it slow and get back into it gradually. Slow and stead wins the race, right?

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ONE*BUSY*MOM 2/23/2011 12:37PM

    Erin, I totally understand where you are because I've been there myself. You can get yourself back on track, slowly but surely. I like that you've set some realistic goals for yourself, because as you achieve success with those, you'll move onto other goals that continue to challenge you. You can do this!

Also, I agree with ANDASI about WW. I tried WW several times and now that I've educated myself through SP, I have to say that I don't agree with the points system at all. The way they assign points to food is biased toward staying away from carbs and ingesting more fruits and vegetables. That might sound like a good idea on the surface, but it can cause you to undereat in a serious way. For example, my daily points value was 20. I saw some frozen pasta meals in the store for 5 points. When I looked at the nutrition information, I saw they had only 250 calories. So suppose I ate 4 of them in a day and nothing else, I would only have consumed 1000 calories. That's INSANE! I know for a fact that I can eat 1800 calories a day and still lose weight. That's why I was always hungry on WW. I think the SP system of counting calories and eating everything in moderation makes more sense. Anyway, that's just my 2 cents.

Good luck with everything -- know that we'll be rooting for you!

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ANDASI 2/23/2011 11:16AM

    I just wonder if youre calories may be on the low side wich induces overeating .

I generaly eat 1800 no workout and still loose.

I find spark ww and genny creg their cals are so low it allways drives me to binge or overeat because im not eating enough food.

Just a thought

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AURORA1423 2/23/2011 10:49AM

    Erin, what you wrote really touched me. It inspired me, too. You're being so honest!!!! Like you, I sometimes eat things I know are bad for me, I sleep in, and I don't exercise often enough because I've made such bad food choices that I don't have the energy to do it. Vanilla cake does not an energetic workout session make. emoticon emoticon

I think you're doing great. I STILL really love your picture in your little red dress (I want that!) I hope you have a wonderful day and you manage to get everything accomplished you set out to do. emoticon

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FITFOODIE806 2/23/2011 10:39AM

    Way to be so honest with yourself! With B2W Mission we will shed serious pounds!

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B2W Friday - Sunday Missions! With Before pictures/Collage

Monday, February 21, 2011

B2W Friday - Sunday Missions!

This Weekend, MAKE ME STRONG.

1. If you have not taken your before picture (if you are brave enough to take one) or you measured yourself or any of the other things you know you should do because you said you would... DO THEM.

Measurements are in the last template, but here are my before pictures taken tonight:

2. Add some nutrients to track daily. If you aren't getting enough of what you NEED in order to lose weight, then how can you lose weight? if you aren't getting what you NEED to go faster or get stronger, then how can you go faster or get stronger. It's math people! Let's be smart, not ignorant!

Tell us what new thing(s) you are tracking in your food tracker!

****I was tracking fiber, protein, carbs, fat, and calories. I am now adding calcium, potassium, and sodium.


Core (abs/back)

This weekend- your MISSION is to:

1. Count how many sit-ups (or crunches) that you can do. You want to find out your MAX! This is your limit- the one you cannot break through. Find out! I double dog dare you!

****Since I am good with crunches, I went for sit-ups, I can do 25 full sit-ups right now.

2. find a new workout. If you have one that is working for you- do it THIS WEEKEND. If you don't have one- you can put together several of the sparkpeople workouts depending on what equipment you have. OR you can grab one out of a magazine, get recommendations from a friend, try a DVD you haven't started yet- but do a core workout THIS WEEKEND..... AND..... prove that you did it. Whether its a cameraphone pic of yourself or a professional photoshoot of your heart monitor, I don't care. Hell you can get a note from your trainer saying it was done for all I care. if you have no access to a camera - then write what you did and tell us about the experience.

***I don't have the proof this time, but I did planks, and side plank push-ups. These are not exactly a new workout, but are my nemesis and I want to overcome them.

4. have a multi-faceted plan. Pick the **ONE** that you usually AVOID and follow the corresponding instructions. We need to get uncomfortable in order to make a difference.

****B) Strength Training/Toning/Sculpting (pick up the free weights. You don't look stupid. Time to swallow your pride and use them. No more procrastinating- play around with them and at least TRY a workout. Cmon. be BRAVE!)

I worked on upper body ST with my 5-pound free weights. Didn't do too much, but got through a set of bicep curls, tricep extensions and kick backs, lateral raises, frontal raises, arnolds, the pop can thing, and various other ones!

5. Motivation Maintenance (fun stuff)

choose **ONE** of the following:


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ON2VICTORY 2/24/2011 10:12AM

    make it happen! proud of you for taking before pics. I am doing much the same thing but I havent been courageous enough to post them yet....

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RAVENSONG37 2/22/2011 9:15PM

    Proud of you!!!

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GWENAEL 2/22/2011 12:46AM

  Great job! Congratulations!

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YOOVIE 2/21/2011 1:41PM

    GOOD JOB ERIN!!!!!

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    Nice vision collage!

Great job!

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THEHONESTME 2/21/2011 9:24AM

    Erin, you know I think you're great and I might not know my butt from a hole in the ground, but I watched a segment of Dr. Oz where he said that sit-ups were the worst exercise you could do for your abs, especially if you had been pregnant. He recommended planks as the best ab workout there is -- or crunches -- but never sit-ups. So, having said that and me being no expert, maybe you will want to research sit-ups. I don't want to sound like a know-it-all, but I want to see you succeed! I know how badly you want this so I'll pass on what I heard and let you make up your own mind. GOOD LUCK!!

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LIFESTOOQUICK 2/21/2011 9:21AM

    Great job! Love the vision collage - I used some of the same things in mine :)

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BLEIGH711 2/21/2011 9:14AM

    This is great! Just the motivation I needed after being an oaf last week. Best Wishes!!

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