Friday, November 26, 2010
Hey everyone! How was your Thanksgiving? Did anyone head out for Black Friday shopping this morning?
Yesterday morning I went to the gym for a crazy fun workout with 30 minutes of spinning, 30 minutes of Turbo Jam/kickboxing, and 30 minutes of Pump-It (high rep barbell strength training). I then did a lot of shoveling as a storm was coming in, though it didn't turn into a ground blizzard like they thought it would. Good thing, since we had to drive across town to eat at my parents' house! We had our nap BEFORE our meal since my daughter went down at 10:45 for her nap and didn't wake up until 1:15 (yay!).
I had one full plate of food that I shared with my daughter (mashed potatoes/gravy, scalloped corn, green bean casserole, dressing, turkey, lefse, 1 slice of bread/butter) and then I had 2 Swedish meatballs and a slice of pumpkin pie with Cool Whip. Before this meal at home I had a banana and grapes, then last night I had 1 cup more of green bean casserole. When I really look at how much I ate (small portions of most everything) I actually stayed in my calories, but felt just SOOO sluggish and full. My tummy isn't used to such food!
I was feeling a bit down on myself last night because my dream dress didn't fit when I tried it on and then I took pictures of myself. I look so bloated, but it's no wonder given the meal I had just hours prior to those pictures. My weight after all that food was 168.4 pounds.
But, I got up this morning and went to the gym, though my body ACHED and I just wanted to stay in bed. It is -10 degrees with a -22 degree wind chill, so it stunk going outside, but it felt great to get to the gym. I did a quick spin for 25 minutes (10 miles) and then hopped on the treadmill to run for 30 minutes and got in 3 miles. I have to keep it light and easy and not push too hard running for now. My training for the marathon starts up all too soon and I need to ease back in!
Oh, and when I weighed in this morning? 163.4 pounds. Lesson? Don't trust an evening weight if that is not something you consistently do.
Okay, so it is DH's birthday today, but he is getting his free Mexican food meal with a friend while I watch Kaylee (to save money and calories for me). Not THIS weekend, but next weekend, I will be going to the Twin Cities to go Christmas shopping with my sister, mom, and my daughter. I have already heard the words "Cheesecake Factory" and "PF Chang's" floating around. The hotel we chose is the Hilton and it has a GREAT workout room. I plan on eating healthy down there, and they can eat wherever they want, as long as they don't mind me hitting up Subway for a healthy 6-inch sub when they do so ;o}
Well, back to work, but know I am thinking about all of you while making my good healthy choices today!
Thursday, November 25, 2010
I have made some great choices in the past couple of days, but then I made a few bad choices. It seems like when I make a bad choice, I have to go all out. And that worries me. Like moderation is not in my dictionary or something. I had a great day yesterday, eating very healthy food and feeling satisfied, and realized I had X amount of points left for the day and decided to get....a snack wrap from McDonald's. Which I had and enjoyed, and was hungry an hour later. So, I went to pick up my daughter, and then dropped by the Burger King a block away from my parents' house. Got a Whopper Jr. and a Buck Double. And had other food with that including Chef Boyardee crap that has been sitting in my cupboard for my daughter (yeah, like I should be feeding her that, really) and tuna with Miracle Whip.
Why don't I just eat myself to death????? I did figure out my activity points for yesterday, and even with those points added in, I had to use up all of my weekly allowance points for WW. That is ridiculous.
Today, I did very well until I put my daughter to bed. Even at Thanksgiving Dinner overall I did great, and with the amount of exercise I put in today (including 30 minutes of Kickboxing, 30 minutes of interval training, and 30 minutes of spinning along with a crapton of shoveling on this fine wintery day) I really came out ahead. But, of course my mom sent tons of leftovers home. I ate the slice of pumpkin pie along with about 1 cup of green bean casserole and grapes (well, the grapes weren't bad). I calculated my points as best I could, and my points were actually okay for today, but I just feel crappy. Physically crappy. I weighed myself, which is really stupid considering the volume of food in my stomach, but anyhoo. 168.4. If I weighed in RIGHT now for WW, I would be up 4.2 pounds from TUESDAY. 2 days. I know in my mind that most of it is water retention. I did a lot of lifting today. But I also know in my mind that yes, some of it IS fat.
How do I know this? I took pictures. First, I took pictures of THE dress. The dress I want to wear on New Year's Eve. When I tried it on, I had to have my husband zip me up, and it was tight, but it zipped up. A size 8. I put it on just after taking the pictures of the dress, and it was tight. Like, I can't even dream of zipping it up tight. So, instead of having to lose an inch in my back/chest/abdomen area to get it to fit, I'm thinking it is more like 3 inches!!!!!!! And when taking my pictures just now in the mirror, I look even MORE PREGNANT than the last time I took pictures. Ugh. But getting this out here is helping me because THIS is the swift kick in my ass that I need to get in line with my eating habits/problem. So, without further ado:
Front in September:
Side in September:
Back in September:
Okay, and I know this is silly, but I am really happy with my legs right now, and so tried to take some pictures of them (the heels are the ones that go with the dress since as for right now the thin heels make my ankles afraid of me):
Sorry about the quality and position of the photos from today...my husband went to a movie and I just wanted to grab the bull by the horns and just do this, write it down, get it over with, and go to bed with a clear head!
Oh, and here is a parting picture of my princess and I followed by one of Kaylee looking as bundled up as the child in Christmas Story (well, not quite, but close!):
Oh, and sorry about the whole "just having been at the gym for 2 hours, no makeup, and needing a shower" look with my daughter! I was waiting for DH to get out of the bathroom ;o}
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Today I have been thinking about the last month, and thinking..."What the hell is wrong with me?????"
Okay, that was a bit much, I know, but seriously....I do wonder what is wrong with me sometimes. It is almost as though I am letting myself go, but when I try to pinpoint things, it isn't helping. I was looking back at other blogs I wrote back in May and from that point on, and these quotes stuck out for me:
"If it only took working out to lose weight, I would be a machine!"
"I can be so hard on myself. I just SO badly want to be at my goal weight before my 30th birthday, and I know that I can do it....if I really am focused on my weight loss from here on out. I am so deathly afraid of a plateau that I take EVERY step I can to avoid it like the plague."
"One good decision leads to another, just as one bad decision can lead to another. I know that I am in control of each and every decision I make."
"The busier I am, the better I do on my journey to lose weight and be healthy."
"I think I am in my head too much sometimes."
I have been still pushing myself pretty hard on a fitness level, though I feel like such a slacker on running. I have been running about 8-10 miles a week at the MOST. On average, though, I have been running between 3-4 miles 2 days a week. I have also been spinning twice a week, doing ST, going on the elliptical for an hour at least 2-3 times a week, walking as much as I can, and trying to fit in extras here and there (crunches/core work, circuit interval training and bootcamps). But I feel like I could do MORE and I SHOULD be doing more. Like Jill at Weight Watchers said...if your body is used to a certain level, you should push yourself to do more.
But, should I be focusing so much on my fitness? I sound like a broken record, but my eating is what I feel is such an issue. I did 100% fantastic for so long, and this last month I have just allowed myself so much wiggle room on my intake. Pizza here, ice cream there, Taco Bell, Subway, Chinese food, Mexican food. So many of the things I didn't really let myself have over the last 14 months or so. I rationalize it so well, too.
My excuses/justifications/rationalizations? "I am pretty much at goal weight, so I can afford to maintain through the holidays." "I have worked so hard for so long, I deserve a treat!" "Oh, I burned over 1300 calories today." "I will be hardcore after Thanksgiving."
That last one feels like a joke, since on Thanksgiving, I have these plans in place: 6:00 a.m. spin class, 8:30-10:00 class consisting of spinning, kickboxing, and Pump-It, followed by a 4-6 mile run outside, but on the treadmill if the storm hits us. Then, I plan on no dessert (they are all pies anyway and I am NOT a pie fan) and also I am planning on sharing my plate with my daughter. So really I am feeling pretty good about Thanksgiving.
Why is this happening to me? Why in this last month have I lost my mojo for eating right?! Where is my portion control?
Also, it seems like the day before my Weight Watchers weigh-in, I have the craving for bad food and usually give in to it, so then my weigh-in feels super sodium loaded, but that is no excuse!!!
One month ago today, I weighed 161. This morning I weighed 163.4, but last week I was 159.2. It is like I am all over the place and don't know my real weight right now.
Argh....see what I mean? I am just all over the place in general and feel like I am randomly rambling about crap.
I know that I should know "everything" by now that I NEED to know about this process...but if anyone has any insight, that would be MUCH appreciated. Even to have someone just level my thinking here, that would help too ;o}
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