Tuesday, October 19, 2010
SUGIRL06 recently wrote a blog about an instance where she told someone who had not known her before about her weight loss, and got the "deer in headlights" look. It made me think about a recent incident where I got that same thing, and thought I would share it...I remember feeling embarrassed, happy, proud, ashamed....many feelings all at once, and I'll tell you the reasons for each feeling after I share my story of last Tuesday:
I was stretching out after a run with the local runners group. There were 5 people there. One of the other women there is 13 weeks' pregnant and looks fantastic. We were talking about gaining weight during pregnancy, and another girl who I have run with many times (also another Erin) mentioned my weight loss, and they asked me how much I have lost so far. When I said "125 pounds since August 2009" they just stared at me. And stared. And then started talking about how I should be telling my story as motivation, and you could see how shocked they were...one of them said "You lost another person? Oh my god!"
So, my feelings? First, I felt embarrassed. I like attention...in private. Like little awards and "hey, you done good" online. But, in person...I feel weird about attention and accolades, like I don't really deserve it. That I am a fraud in some way! It couldn't have been ME who lost the weight. Also, I think the fact that I failed so many times over the years at losing weight and just ended up gaining and gaining and gaining has me slightly nervous about now, even though deep inside I absolutely know I would never go back to where I was. Ever.
My second and third emotion was happiness and pride. Because I DID lose that weight. I did lose it. I didn't have to go on The Biggest Loser to go from 286 to the 160s. I didn't have to have the Lap-Band or other surgery. I did it with Weight Watchers, Sparkpeople, and working out like a mad man! And running. Having goals. I DID IT. No personal trainer (though I would have loved one, trust me). No chef or nutritionist. And it was simple. But, it wasn't easy. And I am proud of myself for becoming who I am today.
My fourth emotion? Shame. Yes, I do still have that feeling jump up here and there. Shame that I let myself go to that point that I reached 306 pounds during my pregnancy. Shame that I stuffed my face and binged to the point that I couldn't recognize myself in the mirror anymore. Shame that I had let so many people down.
That being said, this emotion never lasts long anymore, because although I did let myself go, that is no longer me. I am not that person anymore. I am so much more than that. I deserve so much more than that. I now treat myself and my body the way it SHOULD be treated, with respect, dignity, and the confidence to know that I will accomplish anything I set my mind to. That I am no longer the girl who would always start something, but NEVER finish.
I am a finisher now. And I am proud of that.
Have a great Tuesday, everyone!
Monday, October 18, 2010
~*~ WTF??? Challenge Template 10/18 - 10/24 ~*~
There are SIX WEEKS of WTF??? left and that is PLENTY of time to make a huge difference in your body!
Part 1: Exercise and Nutrition
I want to give myself a real challenge for the next SEVEN days, so I dare myself to [[do yoga for the first time, and push myself to do 9 hours of cardio this week]].
To make sure I can meet this dare, I will [[get up at 5 a.m. every day this week even when out of town and hit the gym running!!!]].
I'm also claiming bragging rights on the fact that I [[did 2500 crunches]] last week.
I would also like to focus on my [[upper body]] muscle group this week by [[working with free weights in the livingroom between crunch sets (copied Yoovie on this one)]].
For cardio, nothing will stop me from [[getting my time in, even being out of town on Thursday and Friday...hey, the hotel has a gym!]]
Three things I will not eat this week will be:
My excuse that I cannot use this week will be [[I am tired and don't feel like it]].
Part 2: The rest of your life
How have you been doing when it comes to your weekly ritual of 'you' time?
Didn't rock that this week. I will need to make that a focus!
Are you particularly motivated or scared into action by a specific event approaching? What is it?
I have way too many "events" approaching. I am going shopping for a new wardrobe on Thursday down by the Twin Cities, I am dressing sexy for Halloween (as a sexy Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle the night before, and as a wench the actual night of), my 30th birthday in mid-November, and of course the end of the year!!! I want to dress up in a fantastic dress and heels for New Year's Eve...and, my birthday.
What will you do this week to keep balance between staying on top of your fitness and maintaining sanity in the rest of your life?
Being on top of my fitness maintains my sanity, so as long as I do one, the other will follow!
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Yesterday....pretty great day! I ate VERY well, got my 8 glasses of water, but then I went to the gym.
I decided to go for a run at the gym on the treadmill since my alarm clock (AKA Kaylee, my 15-month-old daughter) decided to sleep in herself and so I did NOT get up to go running with the local runners group at 8. On the treadmill, I figured I would try to run 6.
I got to 4 miles before I started feeling a twinge on the medial side of my shin. Ugh. Not this again. This is why I wear compression sleeves! So, I kept going thinking it would just go away. Nope. At 4.5 miles I had to stop. My gait was starting to change with the pain, and I knew that if I didn't stop then, I would end up being injured. *sigh* But, I am happy I got in 4.5 miles as I probably would have only put in 3 with the group.
I then went out with my family to meet up with some of our friends and we went for a 2-mile walk. Not bad. Very windy, though, so Kaylee didn't tolerate that very well.
So, all in all a good day but with a painful shin on the right.
Today was pretty busy. It was my mom's 50th birthday today, so I brought her and my daughter and brother out to the Golden Corral for the breakfast buffet. I did pretty good, having a veggie omelet and a few other items.
Afterward, I went out with my dog for a 2.5-mile walk. Then, I went to the gym for 35 minutes on the elliptical. I would have gone a lot longer, but I had to be home so my husband could take a shower and go out to a movie with his friend. I then walked around the mall and then Target with Kaylee (my daughter) for an hour.
Went back to my mom's and brought her a freshly baked German chocolate cake (her favorite and fortunately something I do not care for). We watched the rest of the Vikings/Cowboys game, and the Vikes won! Yay!
Came home, made dinner for my daughter and husband, went to a meeting, got back, put my daughter to bed, and am finally online after washing the dishes. I was hungry and had pickles and 3 slices of deli ham...for a VERY salty snack. Shame, shame! I have been chugging down the water, though, so that is good!
I weighed in this morning for the 1/11/11 challenge, and I came in at 162.8!! Oh, so close to my first big goal weight!! I need to really really hit that water hard tomorrow so I can make sure not to retain water. Also, I need to eat fruits/veggies and stay away from salty foods tomorrow! I want the best possible Weight Watchers weigh-in I possibly could have (followed by a fantastic Periwinkles weigh-in the next morning, of course!!).
Oh, and this Thursday the hubs and I are heading to Albertville (near Minneapolis) to do some SERIOUS shopping, and I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO excited for it!!!! So many pictures to be taken that day ;o}
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
As I creep slowly, ever so slowly now to my goal weight, I am looking at non-scale victories (NSV) to keep me going strong!
Yesterday, we were all at KMart killing time before Kaylee's bedtime and I happened to notice a clearance bin full of things like bras, underwear, socks, etc. I grabbed a cute pair that says on the corner "wink if you like me" and has a winky face on it. But, it said small on the tag. There was another pair, white with little rainbows over it. Again, a size small. I said to my husband, "Well, no wonder these are clearanced. No one can fit into them!" But I don't think he heard me as our little sweetie was getting restless. I thought, Why not? They are $1 each, so that would be $2 blown if they don't fit and never will.
Yeah, I got home with them and decided, what the heck, I'll try them on. And, you guessed it, THEY FIT!!!! And not in a too tight kind of way....they actually felt great! I had been wondering why all of my pretty new size medium undies keep...sliding down. I thought maybe my bum is too flat for those pretty Victoria's Secret undies. Apparently I actually am in a SIZE SMALL!!! A SMALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry...didn't mean to yell, but coming from someone who was, for a long time in her life, wearing 1X and sometimes 2X....Well, that is a big deal to me.
Anyhoo, that is my happiness for....well, this whole month! I don't think I'll ever get over it ;o}
Monday, October 11, 2010
~*~ WTF Challenge 10/11 - 10/15 ~*~
Part 1- EXERCISE AND NUTRITION
During my last WTF template dates, I was able to accomplish [[all of my workouts including my taper]] as far as exercise goes, and I was most proud when I [[ran 13.1 miles in 2 hours and 17 minutes in my first official half marathon on Saturday]].
As far as nutrition goes, I was glad that I [[refrained from fast food, high-fat foods]] but I still want to concentrate on improving [[sodium intake]].
This week, my go-to snack will be [[grapes while they are still on sale and in season kind of!!]].
My go-to exercise will be [[spinning and the elliptical this week as running is at the back of my mind for now....]].
I am going to attempt to [[work on my core and strengthening this week]] because I already know that I can do [[all the cardio in the world]].
Encourage me by [[reminding me that it's my mom's 50th birthday on Sunday, and I need to still lose weight this next week!]] .
When I find myself about to make a bad or questionable decision as far as nurtition and workouts, I will simply ask myself... if I want to hit my goal this week. MY GOAL!
Part 2- THE REST OF YOUR LIFE
Try to think of things that you usually spend money on during the holidays, and see if you can find a way to save money there, by making them in your specially set aside 'me-time'. Blog about what you figure out or what you think you might attempt to do. This may also keep you from picking up too much extra candies and goodies in the season aisles that will end up in your tummy.
DO NOT FORGET YOUR WEEKLY RITUAL QUIET TIME, DO IT AGAIN. YES, AGAIN.
recommended articles this week:
WARM UPS (since it's getting cooler- this is way more important than usual- and I dont want my girls getting injured. And by girls, I mean sparkfriends, not tits)
and 5 minute exercises you can do in your office
*** Thanks to Yoovie for being an all-over inspiration to me!***
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